A Tough Conversation
How can Darryl remove an ineffectual group leader without causing a lot of damage?
| Topics: | Coach, Coaching, Leadership, Leadership requirements, Management, Problems |
| Filters: | Coach, Lead, Pastor |
| Purpose: | Discipleship |
| Date Added: | December 07, 2009 |
As a small-groups coach, Darryl directly supervises around 15 of the group leaders within his church. He has enjoyed getting to know them all, but he has had trouble with a group leader named Roy for several months now.
The basic truth is that Roy is a poor small-group leader. He doesn't lead discussions well during group meetings, he often offends his group members with strong statements and opinions, and he doesn't participate in group-leader training. Several group members have left Roy's group in recent months. Darryl initially replaced these by sending new participants to Roy's group, but many of these have left, as well.
Darryl has tried helping Roy in several different ways. He has participated in Roy's group three times and then sat down with him afterward to offer suggestions. He has sent Roy books and training materials, but nothing seems to work. Darryl now believes it is time to remove Roy as a group leader, but he is not sure how to go about it.
What should Darryl do? How can he ask Roy to step down and cause as little damage as possible to Roy, to the group, and to the church?
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It seems to me that this may not only be a discipline problem but rather a Spiritual gift issue. In my experience the best group leaders are those that are gifted in exhortation, shepherding, wisdom etc... It might be useful to assess what Roy's spiritual gifts are and use that information to redirect his efforts. He may be laboring under the false assumption that this is where he his gifted. Once his gifts are clear then you can show him the other areas that he is more equipped to serve in. This approach might soften the blow of removing him from the Group Leader position since you are replacing it with something else.
If darryl is an effective leader he will take full responsibility of the situation/group and approach roy with a difinate course of action. It is better for one to perish than for the whole group to be contaminated.
Three aspects to keep in mind: (1) the spiritual and psychological condition of Roy - maybe he's got a serious personal problem and he uses the group to sustain his condition. A similar strategy that the prophet nathan used in 2 Sam 12 to teach David could be applied. (2) Group dynamics - the pastor / headleader should consult members of the group individually as put forward suggestions, and if concensus is reached (without Roy), apply a strategy agreed on. (3) The overall goal of the group - sometimes the pastor/ headleader can afford to put a new vision in place for which the old group would dissolve and a new small group could emerge (with of cause a new leader). Sometimes it's just sorry that because of this, members are lost. All leaders are sometimes a blessing and sometimes a curse - that's why we we remain dependent on God's Spirit to lead us in wisdom.
The first step for the coach would be to connect with his/her small group pastor/director. Is this a leader problem or a coach problem? The coach should follow the biblical guidelines for discipline in Matthew 18:15-20. In this case, the church body is the small group. Hopefully, the groups is aware of the situation already. If not, the coach needs to make them aware and get a quick read of their feelings on the matter. If the coach and group agree, then the group should ask the leader to step down. Then, there is no doubt in the leader's mind. The biblical admonition is to treat a person like an "unbeliever." How do we treat unbelievers? We love them and challenge them with their need for repentance. Their hope and prayer should be to have the leader return to the group.
In business you would give people 3 warnings and be specific. Darryl, you have not said you have done this. Do you have any idea whether Roy 'gets' that you have been trying to 'correct' him.
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