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"Three, two, one!" the crowd chanted. The final buzzer blared through the gym. My entire basketball team raced onto the court for a championship huddle. My school hadn't won a regional tournament in 10 years. Everyone went crazy. Except me. I followed my teammates, trying to psych myself up. But deep down I wasn't happy.

This was our biggest game of the season and I'd sat on the bench the entire time. I felt like I didn't really matter to my team. That was hard to handle—I'd always thought basketball was my thing. My high school basketball career started out pretty good, too. After a great freshman season, my coach moved me up to varsity.

As a sophomore, I didn't get a ton of playing time. Still, I was on the court during a few crucial games. But everything took a turn for the worse the summer before my junior year. I had surgery because of a nose injury and I wasn't allowed to play—no summer leagues, no pick–up games, no one–on–one. By the beginning of the season my junior year, it was pretty obvious I wasn't a team leader. Even so, I thought I would get some decent playing time.

It didn't happen. Instead, I was the guy who sat on the bench and only got to play when the game was a blowout. Then came that big tournament win. I wanted to be excited for my team, but deep down I felt empty and alone. If only I could get in the game and play ball, I told myself over and over. Then I'd feel better and have something to live for.

Then one night, shortly after the season had ended, I went to youth group and heard my youth pastor say something pretty simple: "We need to slow down, listen to God and let him work in our lives." That struck me. I'd been so busy that I wasn't putting any effort into my relationship with God. I knew he still loved me, but I didn't make any time for him.

I had been a Christian most of my life and went to church every Sunday, but I'd stopped reading my Bible and praying. I didn't do it on purpose. There was just too much other stuff going on—basketball, homework or hanging out with my friends. There seemed to be no time for God. It was like I'd "benched" him so that I could do what I wanted to do.

I knew I needed to reconnect with God. I loved playing ball, but I'd put so much hope into basketball only to be disappointed by my awful season. I needed something that would never disappoint me. And I knew in my heart that God would never let me down. So I started reading my Bible and praying. After talking to my small group leader, and reading a lot of Scripture, I realized that I needed to depend on God more, too.

I was so focused on performing on the basketball court that I forgot what it meant to depend on God for strength when things got tough. Looking back, I wish I'd prayed about my struggles. I don't think praying about basketball would have made me a star player, but I know it would have helped me find peace through it all.

I've also realized something else. I can't let basketball consume me so much that I forget about what's really important in life. I've made a commitment to do my best at basketball, but to give my all to Christ.

Editor's note: Shane had a great season his senior year and was recruited to play basketball at Hope College in Holland, Michigan. He started his freshman year this fall.

Copyright © 2005 by the author or Christianity Today International/Campus Life magazine.
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