1 of 2

I sat between Kelly and Allison, flipping through a stack of pictures they'd taken at a Christian camp a week ago. Even though I didn't like going to church, I would have loved to have gone to camp with them. After all, they were my best friends. But I had to stay home for a family reunion.

"This guy was my favorite speaker," Allison said, pointing at a picture.

"I remember him," Kelly said, grabbing the picture. "He talked about how prayer makes you grow closer to God. I totally feel God in my life when I pray."

Feel close to God? I really didn't even know what that meant. All I knew was that my friends were off having a great time and I wasn't with them. I felt a lump form in my throat.

"Camp was a ton of fun," Kelly said. "But we totally missed you, Jordan."

"Yeah," Allison added, leaning over to give me a hug. "Next year we're all going."

I smiled and felt a little better.

"You should come to youth group with us," Kelly urged. "That way we can all hang out together."

Kelly and Allison went to the same church and youth group. I thought church was boring, so I rarely went. But that didn't keep them from constantly asking me to go with them. If this is what it takes not to feel left out, I told myself, then I'll go. Soon I was attending their youth group about every single week.

The more I went, the more I realized Kelly and Allison took church stuff pretty seriously. They were really into God and talked about him like he was actually real.

I wanted to believe God was real, too. But when I prayed, I didn't feel anything. I knew I didn't have the kind of relationship with God my friends kept talking about, but I was too scared to ask Allison or Kelly any of my questions. I was sure I'd really upset my friends if I admitted my doubts. So I spent a lot of time pretending I had a personal relationship with Christ, but deep down I was confused and unsure.

Finally, the school year ended, and the summer before my freshman year, I got to go to camp with Kelly and Allison. When I got there, I found out we had to go to chapel twice a day. My stomach did a flipflop. I could handle a talk now and then about God, but twice a day? It just seemed like more religion than I could handle.

But after I went to one or two chapels, I started looking forward to going. They weren't anything like I thought they would be. The speakers talked about friendships and other stuff that mattered to me. The services were actually kind of fun.

One night, the speaker talked about living your life totally for Christ. "Jesus died for your sins," he said. "All you have to do is pray for forgiveness and ask Christ to come into your life."

I'd heard a similar message at youth group more than once, but this time it really sunk in and started to make sense to me. At the end of the chapel, the speaker asked those who wanted to dedicate their lives to Christ to raise their hands. I was really selfconscious, but I couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks. I slowly raised my hand high above my head. Then I prayed that God would come into my life. It was like all of my fear was suddenly gone. For the first time in my life, God's presence seemed real to me.

next page... |  1 of 2

				Try 3 Issues of Christianity Today Free! Name Street Address City/State/Zip E-mail Address Subscribe to Christianity Today and get 3 free trial issues. No credit card required. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Offer valid in U.S. only. If you decide you want to keep Christianity Today coming, honor your invoice for just $19.95 and receive nine more issues, a full year in all. If not, simply write "cancel" across the invoice and return it. The three trial issues are yours to keep, regardless.