Wrestling fans, let us introduce Alex 'The Crimson Pontificator' Dale, the greatest WWE Superstar never to have graced the ring. A humble journalist by day, come nightfall he's a wrestling superhero who crushes villian's skulls to tight deadlines.
Review supplied by GamesMaster magazine
He's got the intensity of Stone Cold Steve Austin, the wit of The Rock, is more attractive to women than two sprays of Lynx Africa and can spit a mouthful of Evian across distances Triple-H can only dream of. He even has the gall to wrestle in lemon-yellow leggings and a 'Take That' T-shirt, so we know for a fact he's double-hard.
We tell you, grap fans, if Gamesmaster hadn't stepped in to offer a lifetime of riches in exchange for a few video game reviews, he'd be slapping the mouths of chancers such as John Cena and Batista as we speak. Yup, that's why he didn't make it as a professional wrestler. Nothing at all to do with that incident where it took him six months to escape a paper bag prison.
Tale of the Tape Thanks to Smackdown Vs Raw 2010, your dream persona has the chance to finally flex its way into the annuls of history. Oh, we've had Create-A-Wrestlers before - a decade's worth of Stone Cold Stunned teachers and bosses pay testament to that - but never to any real end. We've been able to play entire story modes with custom bonebenders before, it's true, but they've always been catch-all dramas that play out the same regardless of whether you've picked out Shelton Benjamin or a 7"6 home-made monstrosity wearing a miniskirt and a set of Road Warriors shoulder pads.
But now, thanks to the addictive Story Designer mode, the tale of your ascent from a weakling who can't open a packet of Fruit Pastilles without tearing a bicep muscle to wrestling champion can be chronicled for the ages. It's a prospect that should get any WWE fan salivating.
The possibilities aren't limitless. Our attempts to get Big Show to present John Cena (who he's been mean to all summer) with a bouquet of flowers was met with a barrage of error messages. But fans with an ounce of creativity in their bones will find themselves in their element. Custom storylines can last only one night or up to two years, depending on your preference, and putting it all together couldn't be easier. You select a date and a venue, then choose whether to have a 'moment', a match or a mixture of the both.
'Moments' are things like backstage segments or in-ring interviews - you decide upon a location, select the personalities to be present (either from the roster, or from up to 30 custom stars) and then the theme (an in-ring interview, post-match beatdowns, contract signings, all sorts of things, really). With the skeleton of the scene in place, you can start painting on some skin. Camera angles can be tinkered around with to the minutest detail.
Character expressions and motion can be fiddled around with, too. And dialogue can be inserted manually using the in-game keyboard. There's a profanity filter, and of course your lines are delivered in subtitles, but otherwise the level of freedom is startling. Within minutes, and without really knowing what we were doing, we'd managed to concoct a semi-coherent storyline where Shane McMahon sent out hired goons Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler to reclaim his bottle of Just For Men from that jovial japester Triple-H.
You're not limited to just telling one person's tale, either - you can jump up and down the roster as you deem necessary. It's going to prove incredibly popular with the fanbase, not least because you can upload your storylines onto THQ's servers for fellow fans to download. PS3 owners can go one better by directly sticking their highlights onto YouTube.
In fact, you can share pretty much anything online with those who share the game on the same format as yourself, from screenshots to custom grapplers to elaborately improbable special moves. The search engine will prove to be an invaluable tool for all who come across it, regardless of their level of enthusiasm for the game's customisable components. Fancy playing as Barack Obama, or the guy off the Pringles packet?
You no longer have to spend hours choosing eyebrows: simply type 'Obama', 'President' or 'Pringles' and the keyword-sensitive engine will throw up more lookalikes than you could possibly need. Meanwhile, those who do have the dedication to create such things will likely be motivated by the peer feedback system, which allows other gamers to write reviews of their creations (a comment moderating system will be in place to keep out the foul of tongue).
The level of customisation is amplified by the addition of a paint tool that allows you to conjure up a logo and plaster it all over your character, either on their clothing or as a tattoo. You can also fiddle around with the attire of existing grapplers, allowing you to create up to three alternative sets of togs. It's a useful option to have if you want to keep your roster looking current, or even just if you think the Undertaker's look needs cheering up a bit.
Path to glory If your superstar isn't exhausted after all that, you can put him onto The Road To WrestleMania, a single-player game mode that returns after a successful debut in Smackdown Vs Raw 2009. Like last year, The Road To WrestleMania charts a Superstar's journey to the WWE's flagship event: selectable characters include Shawn Michaels, Edge and Mickie James.
This time, however, you join the fray, as a member of the crowd invited into the ring by incompetent braggart Santino Marella to challenge him for his Intercontinental Championship. 1-2-3, and the WWE has itself a new IC champ and a new superstar, much to the chagrin of owner Vince McMahon, who soon sets about trying to make your life miserable. Although it won't take long to play through the six Road To WrestleMania stories, they're enjoyable to the last (with a hilarious Morrison/Miz Highlight Reel segment being the, ahem, highlight), and anyway, you can hardly claim that Smackdown lacks content.
A few choice tweaks to the action (most notably in the Royal Rumble match, see 'Finally Rumbled, page 73) and the removal of all the on-screen clutter (albeit at the slight expense of functionality) means that Smackdown 2010 represents an all-over improvement on its predecessors, although gamers on a budget must keep in mind that it's still very much the same game as it's always been. But those who are in the market for a new WWE game will delight in the raft of innovations, which dispel the myth that Smackdown is a gaming franchise that's stood still. Go forth, and create the wrestling legacy that crisps and sweets so cruelly denied you.
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