movie Glossary
Last Cell Syndrome
Whenever a character must visit someone in jail, the jailed character's cell is always the last one on the cell block, so the visitor must slowly pass by every other cell in terror. NEIL GABRIELE, Nashville, Tenn.
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If we had the British Constitution, Oprah Winfrey would be our queen.
It isn't an elected position. You're born into it.
You have no legislative power, but the leaders of both political parties consult with you and advise you of their plans.
The Twilight Saga: New Moon (PG-13)
The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan. Never have teenagers been in greater need of a jump-start. Granted some of them are more than 100 years old, but still: their charisma is by Madame Tussaud.
Gentlemen Broncos (PG-13)
As an amateur collector of the titles of fictional novels in movies, I propose that this one has the worst of all time: Yeast Lords: The Bronco Years. You say you smiled? Me, too, and there are precious few smiles and laughs in "Gentlemen Broncos," which is not a very good movie title, either, although it might work for an X-rated film. The author of Yeast Lords is a teenager named Benjamin, who writes science fiction and idolizes a famous sci-fi novelist named Dr. Ronald Chevalier as much as I once, and still do, admire the Good Doctor Asimov.
The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day (R)
"Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day" is an idiotic ode to macho horseshite (to employ an ancient Irish word). It is however distinguished by superb cinematography. It's the first film in 10 years from Troy Duffy, whose "Boondock Saints" (1999) has become a cult film. It's such a legendary film, a documentary was even made about it.
The Exiles (No MPAA rating)
Newly restored on DVD, November 17.Homer is already three-quarters smashed. He buys a beer, sprawls in a booth, and looks over the crowd in the bar. Through his eyes, we see them too: Down-and-out alcoholics, loosely or happily or angrily tilting the long-necked bottles of beer to their mouths. One old man has something wrong inside, and has to drink sideways, at a tilt. Another old man peers out from under his hat, taking it all in without eye contact. A young white guy is rock-and-rolling with a small Chinese man, in a movement that seems poised between dancing and fighting. Most of the others are Native Americans. Homer rolls his bottle off the table, and it smashes.
Q. Given your admiration of "Antichrist" and your distaste for video games, do you have any thoughts on the reported video game sequel, called "Eden."? When you asked me, I said my shot-in-the-dark guess is that it would be a dark, moody, horror-themed game wherein you played some random character trapped in the forest, attempting to survive or escape through solving puzzles and finding the correct "passageways."
Nosferatu (No MPAA rating) (1922)
To watch F.W. Murnau's "Nosferatu" (1922) is to see the vampire movie before it had really seen itself. Here is the story of Dracula before it was buried alive in cliches, jokes, TV skits, cartoons and more than 30 other films. The film is in awe of its material. It seems to really believe in vampires.
by By Peter Debruge
Guest Columnist
Dear Roger,
I value your opinion, but question your reporting on this anti-3-D essay you've written for The Spectator [London]. Movies do earn more in 3-D (I don't have the statistics in front of me, but I know that "Coraline" earned 85% of its box office on 3-D screens, and I suspect that all four of the films you cite did at least half their business in the format). To the best of my knowledge, Pixar does not have technology "that can convert any 2-D movie into 3-D from scratch." And DreamWorks' "Kung Fu Panda" was made and released in 2-D; "Monsters vs. Aliens" was the studio's first in 3-D.
Ten years after its release, there are still plenty of people who will not get David Fincher's "Fight Club" simply because they refuse to see what is in front of their eyes. They think it's about a cult of men who get together to punch each other, which is like saying "Citizen Kane" is about a sled. If you hate a movie, go ahead and hate it -- but hate it for what it actually is. Fundamentally, "Fight Club" is an uncannily accurate depiction of depression and delusion -- capturing a uniquely (post-?)modern strain of anomie to which perhaps older baby boomers and their seniors find it difficult to connect because it's beyond their frame of reference. (I don't know -- that's just a hunch.) Let's fix those "ambiguous" endings, shall we?Happy 5th B-day, Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule! Helvetica is the movie font Blow-up: Selling Sarah's shorts Star Trek 2009: Pieces of flare! (Rescued, restored) Rescued, restored: My best of 2008 The arrival of The Prisoner, then and now: "We Want Information!" Hey, Mr. Fox: Who's the audience? Who cares? Is it time for best movies of the decade already? Rescued, reposted: Best films of 2007: The movie A Serious Man: Kafka in Minnesota
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The Opening Shots Project Index
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The limerick's a form metronomical, For the telling of jokes anatomical. Yet the best one's I've seen So seldom are clean, And yet clean ones so seldom are comical. Auden, that very good man Said a limerick need not merely scan. But put up a struggle And bend itself double To be decent, and fail at the plan.
It was the opening day of the Disney-MGM studios in Orlando. The stars were there with their children. There was an official luncheon at the Brown Derby, modeled after the legendary Hollywood eatery. I was beside myself. I was in a booth sitting next to Jack Brickhouse, the voice of the Chicago Cubs. A man walked over and introduced himself. "Bob Elliott." Oh. My. God. Bob, of Bob and Ray.
Today, fifteen years after I first saw it, I believe "Hoop Dreams" is the great American documentary. No other documentary has ever touched me more deeply. It was relevant then, and today, as inner city neighborhoods sink deeper into the despair of children murdering children, it is more relevant. It tells the stories of two 14-year-olds, Arthur Agee and William Gates, how they dreamed of stardom in the NBA, and how basketball changed their lives. Basketball, and this film.
thumbs
Linked here are reviews in recent months for which I wrote either 4 star or 3.5 star reviews. What does Two Thumbs Up mean in this context? It signifies that I believe these films are worth going out of your way to see, or that you might rent them, add them to your Netflix, Blockbuster or TiVo queues, or if they are telecast record them.
Gathered here in one convenient place are my recent reviews that awarded films Zero Stars, One-half Star, One Star, and One-and-a-half Stars. These are, generally speaking to be avoided. Sometimes I hear from readers who confess they are in the mood to watch a really bad movie on some form of video. If you are sincere, be sure to know what you're getting: A really bad movie.
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