It appears family values beauty queen Carrie Prejean has been churning out sex tapes the way Krispy Kreme churns out honey glazed doughnuts. We are shocked, shocked we tell you. But that's only the beginning of the shocking news eSarcasm has uncovered.

First, the videos: Forensic video investigators have...

Does your face look like five miles of bad road? Have you got a nose like a turnip and breasts like empty sandbags? Does your ass looks like a sack of cats being dragged to the river?

You, my friend, may be a perfect candidate for surgical augmentation. But...

Note: The following article is written by Dr. Smartass, eSarcasm's medical columnist and gynecologist-in-training.

Welcome back, dear disciples, for another week of science-inspired Q&A;! Last week, we tackled the topic of ta-tas -- specifically, what breast size and shape can tell you about a woman. It turns...

Prepare yourself for a shocking revelation from the world of science. Ahem: Sex with a partner is better than doing it by yourself.

The guys in the white coats, it seems, have finally realized what the rest of us learned at age 16: Sure, you can take...

Hey, we love a good cat fight as much as the next guy. And if anyone should get into a hair pulling, face-clawing, blood-on-the-floor tussle, it might as well be Apple and Verizon.

Verizon has taken a shot at Apple with a clever commercial titled "iDon't" that points...

Some "experts" say the Web's proliferation of porn is eating away at America's morals. eSarcasm's own scientific expert, Dr. Smartass, says it's making us better citizens -- and he has the hard data to prove it. Here's the good doctor's (note: not an actual doctor) take on Net naughtiness:

Feeling...

The science world was rocked last week with the discovery of a 4.4-million-year-old female human ancestor in the jungles of Ethiopia.

Ardipithecus ramidus -- 'Ardi' for short - lived more than 1 million years before the previous oldest hominid fossil, a 3.2-million-year-old Australopithecine named 'Lucy'. She...

The Nielsen Company - yes, those guys - have dipped their clubbed toes into the world of social networking. The uber-TV raters recently surveyed social media sites visited by thousands of Americans and matched them against 66 distinct lifestyle and behavior segments, such as "Young Digerati" and "Heartlanders."...

Looking to make an extra $120,000 a month? Try selling penis pills online.

Shady spammers are pulling in a full $4,000 a day for peddling those pesky pecker pills, a new study by security firm Sophos shows. That comes out to $1.46 million a year -- nearly 30...

Starbucks is getting into the smartphone game with two new iPhone apps unveiled this week. One gives coffee-craving customers the ability to find stores and discover new drinks, while the other, still in limited testing, lets you actually pay for your order using your phone.

People

The film industry has the Oscars. TV has the Emmys. In high tech, the closest you generally come to that level of glitz and glamor is a bunch of geeks getting up on stage to demo their products for five minutes in front of a room full of other geeks....

Note: The following article is written by Dr. Smartass, eSarcasm's medical writer and gynecologist-in-training.

We all know technology can affect our brains -- overpriced Apple products give us an inflated sense of self-worth, for example, while buggy Microsoft products give us high levels of anger and aggression -- but...

I know. You get no end of pleasure by sending "fun" quizzes to all your Facebook peeps. Then you wonder why people have quietly unfriended you.

Listen, my friend (or former friend, as the case may be), I have news for you. Though you may find such quizzes...

The Xbox may soon have an X-rated cousin.

A Silicon Valley company is trying to build an adult-oriented video game system called the SexBox, as evidenced by a recently uncovered trademark application. The SexBox, reports indicate, would feature a custom console and series of interactive...

The cryptic invitations have been sent and the speculation sweepstakes is now fully underway. On the Magical Mystery date 09-09-09, Apple will be holding another of its "special events," this one having something to do with music (we think).

Of course, we would never stoop to making...

I'm a rebellious and artistic guy with mixed emotions and a limited sense of responsibility. That's what my iTunes playlist indicates, anyway -- at least, according to some newly released research. (The fact that it didn't include "irresistibly charming" in my profile, I assume, was a mere oversight.)

Apple has just inked a deal to sell its popular iPhone in China, bringing two of the world's most oppressive regimes together in an exciting new partnership.

"We've been building our business model on China's government strategy for years," Phil Schiller, Apple's senior vice president...

Pack up the backpacks and put away the swimsuits: It's time for teens to say so long to summer and hello to school.

We at eSarcasm want to do our part to help the next generation of thinkers prepare for the always-challenging transition. While Web sites such as

Following His recent endorsement of A Course in Miracles, Jesus Christ, Lord and Saviour to hundreds of millions of the faithful, has announced plans to endorse eSarcasm, the World's Most Heavenly Web Site ™. Christ's endorsement is expected to be formally revealed at an upcoming media event at The...

Five Southern Californian Facebook users are suing Facebook, charging the social network with violating their privacy by allowing them to use Facebook.

A lawsuit filed by two minors and three adults in an Orange County courtroom alleges that the social network violated state privacy laws...