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What's Happening To Women's Happiness?


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My mother g-mother and ggrandmother were unhappy women their whole lives so maybe my situation is different ...If you would have asked any of them if they were happy they would have been polite and said "why yes" as my mother said "It was expected of them to appear happy"...but behind closed doors they were often times miserable and hard to live with...My mother told me about the "myth" of the perfect family golden age...there was a lot of pressure on family's and particularly women to appear perfect and happy to the public when in reality fewer then you would expect were.. Sometimes i think society tries too hard to protect girls from the "real" world..I was raised by my amazing single father but still grew up with all those movies and books about "prince charming" and happily ever after... none of them ever told me Prince charming some times drinks too much...likes strip clubs or has a porn fetish for barely legal age girls..lol (we still love you guys..you nutt-bags)..but most of my unhappiness in life has come from my feelings of helplessness in the injustices and inhumanity i see in the world around me....I am a realist now..and unlike my grandmother if someone asks me if i feel happy in life i am not going to smile and say "why yes"...i am going to tell them the truth...no..not all the time

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:34 AM on 09/18/2009
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There are several other trends that could be contributing to women's declining happiness

* Marrying later
* Divorcing more
* Having more debt due to advanced educational degrees
* Having children later (far more exhausting)
* Living further away from extended family - upward mobility often means moving
* Greater demands on parents (more homework,a­ctivities,­and expenses)
* A net increase in work hours - much less down time/unstructured time
* Less time for friends
* Less time for pleasurable domestic activities such as cooking, decorating, and gardening
* The expenses of working - wardrobe, gas,commuting, pre-made meals
* Poor quality child care
* Less unstructured play for kids - they are stressed out
* Work is work - wears you out

Men are probably happier because

* They are not the sole breadwinner - less pressure
* Their wives are more stimulating because they are better educated and more savvy
* Their roles and lifestyles have not been so dramatically overhauled. They can follow in their father's footsteps.

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:29 AM on 09/18/2009

This article misses out on the most obvious and natural explanation for unhappiness in women above 40.

The sheer and simple (but oh so politically incorrect) fact is that women have always been getting special benefits and power based on their feminine and sexual attractiveness. In this attractive­ness-game, the market value peaks in the late twenties and then usually declines beyond recovery by the time they pass 45. I think that a part of what has happened is that more and more women now rely on their market value to get ahead.

Hey, no contest, who would not be unhappy if they had "it" (superior sexual and relational power) and suddenly noticed that it was no longer at hand? Countless bitter women who, instead of building their own true personality and societal prowess, counted on having that power position last forever now roam the streets, many looking for a way to blame men or society for their feeling of loss.

What I would like to say to all young women is: take responsibility for yourself and your own development as a human being. Don't get lulled into a false sense of worth based on the relational power you have over men in the marketplace, it is a sure recipe for future bitterness...

Peace, love & understanding.

John L

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:25 AM on 09/18/2009
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I believe the reason is that women FEEL things more than men do. We feel FOR others more than men. So we look around and see what has happened, we look to the future based on what we see now and it looks kind of bleek. Our education system is in the toilet, unemployment has forced many women to go back to work, some have had to go to work for the first time to help support their families due to unemployment, all the while having to continue doing the JOB they've been doing at home. We have to COMFORT our unemployed male relatives on top of everything else.

Yes things look bleek. And because of the healthcare crisis in this country, there is little to be done to treat the widespread depressionand anxiety. Either it isn't covered by their insurance, they don't HAVE insurance or there is no TIME for treatment with so many stretched so thin.

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:24 AM on 09/18/2009

IThe world of work is not designed to support of the way women are designed to live and relate to others. Working in most places gradually changes women. It makes them less like they were designed to be and more like they were designed not to be. This profound change gradually destroys something intrinsic within the female psyche, their femininity, and destroys it to the point that they become increasingly unhappy without knowing precisely why. They are told that they are fundamentally the same as men, but nature knows that to be a dangerous lie and will not be silent about it. I have witnessed this entire scenario play out frequently over many years.

But why do we men become more happy as the years roll by? It seems to me that our generally more analytical bent of mind may lead us to see life's big picture earlier and more clearly than do our lovely lady friends from their generally less analytical perspective. We come to realize that profound happiness comes from a lifestyle of unselfish giving rather than selfishly getting for ourselves and our increasingly selfish children. The solution to our problem thus involves encouraging husbands to gradually and gently mentor their wives experientially in the principles of happiness throughout their marriage so they can be as happy as are their husbands.

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:20 AM on 09/18/2009
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