 As I write this, the padding in this cell is making me itch. It’s some kind of canvas-like material, beige, and very scratchy. It’s hard to write on and my fingers are so desiccated from blood loss that I’m almost out of ‘ink. I don’t like the light, it’s too bright by far, and the paper pajamas I’m wearing are starting to fall apart.
 Last year, a movie called WICKED LAKE came out. It was a horrible, torture/rape-porn low-budget flick that should, and likely is, quickly plummeting beneath the torrent of worth-while movies out there. The only thing that makes it worth mention at all -aside from something to mock and shudder away from --is the incredibly sterling soundtrack created to accompany it.
 Let me begin by saying that Best Buy is the surest proof of Satan’s existence I can think of, next to that charming synonym for cancer known as “Walmart.” Buying music there is like having sex with a plastic partner; you get off but don’t have any of the fun visceral stuff. Music stores should smell a little musty, be full of new and odd music you’ve never heard before but might gamble on, and have esoteric posters on the walls. The guys behind the counter… well, they should all be James Zahn. Best Buy is none of those things, but they do get a lot of special edition albums, and today I was after one with a vengeance.
 The EBM dance floor heats up again with the radioactive act Cesium_137 and their latest release ADVANCED DECAY. In 1998, Isaac Glendening and Matthew Cargil formed the shadowy electronic act while trying to pioneer new tones in their music combined with classical musical composition. The result was a unique, deeply moving, compelling dark rock act that rejected the “Orb” and “Rhythmic Noise” scene of the late 1990’s. On March 31’st, the album Advanced Decay will be released solely as a digital media presentation via the longstanding electronic supporting label Metropolis records.
 The new RAZOR OF OCCAM release HOMAGE TO MARTYRS is a blitzkrieg of hypersonic guitar riffing, wicked guitar solos, thunderous drumming, and hard hitting lyrics that warn of the godless and uncaring universe we inhabit.
 In the ever ephemeral world of music there are many legends. Some rise to the heavens, flare up, and burn out quickly; leaving behind ash and bone that is quickly swept up by the sagacious whore-like wind we call ‘The Industry.‘ Others create monumental legacies -album after album, side project after side project --for their listeners that resonate through everything they do, causing a crystalline harmony that makes them more and more profound as they hum in our ears. Digital grapevines resonate and pulse with the susurrations of every nuance and movement these legends leave in their wake, lamenting the retirement of Al Jourgensen, laughing at the latest antics from Marilyn Manson, and reminiscing.
 Since the opening of 2009, the Dark Rock scene has experienced an explosion of new angry and very aggressive hard tracks from Aggro-Tech and Industrial acts. With that rather blessed boom comes the U.S. launch of the legendary act Funker Vogt. Formed in 1995, the act has taken the world by storm with hard hitting and epic floor stomping dance grooves that are as infectious as anthrax and deadly as cold steel.
 Founded in 2003, Italy’s Dope Stars Inc. is a unique band. Their sound embodies the illegitimate offspring of 80’s Metal pioneer Don Dokken and an abused synthesizer that might press charges. Beginning with their self-released EP, 10.000 WATTS OF ARTIFICIAL PLEASURES, DSI has created a sound unlike anything existent in the EBM/Goth-Industrial scene. With the addition of NEUROMANCE in 2005, and GIGAHEARTS in 2006, they’ve further reinforced the niche they’re creating through their music. Now, after saving up their collective mojo while touring with tremendous acts (such as Apoptygma Berzerk, Nightwish, and Combichrist), and creating three songs for the SAW soundtracks, it’s plainly obvious that DSI has every intention of becoming a force to reckon with. Suffice to say, they’re well on their way as can be heard on the new EP release, CRIMINAL INTENTS/MORNING STAR.
 Like the fearsome Berserkers of long ago, DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY has mercilessly unleashed their second audial assault entitled BATTLE SLUTS. Combining the best elements of melodic thrash, Viking black metal and symphonic orchestrations, this new CD evokes the very essence of ancient man’s Barbaric past and presents it in a modern format.
 Generally, I hate synth-pop. OK, that’s not entirely true; as a child of the 80’s, I have a very uncomfortable, and warm place in my heart for classic synth-pop, but the modern derivatives make me break out in hives, cold sweats, and odd esoteric rashes. Synth-pop, as a rule, horrifies me; warranting a review of it for FANGORIA. If something terrifies you, however titillating the experience may be, it is definitely worthy of mentioning it here.
 Hear Ye, Hear Ye all you dead and bloody sexy children… The phenomenal Goth act Specimen has been resurrected for your joyous listening pleasure in all their deathly finery with ALIVE AT THE BATCAVE (out April 7)! In 2007, former Specimen members Jon Klein, Tim Hubert and Kimba reunited for a one time show under the name “Azoic” sparking talks of a Specimen re-union. On July 11, 2008, the original Specimen line up played together live at the Batcave (Club Antichrist), home of where the movement all began. This labor of love recording is the resulting high quality capture of music history detailing (for those of us either too young or too old) to have experienced the joy of the Batcave scene as only Olli Wisdom could bring you.
 For the past six years, the Brothers Calabrese have been redefining the horror punk scene with their own brand of strange, twisted rock. This band of blood drenched late night horror hounds got their start in 2003 as all three brothers set out to tear up the rock scene with razor fangs and voodoo vocals. Their first cult release 13 HALLOWEENS gave the act breakout attention in the Horror Punk, Goth, and Deathrock scenes as they wailed out sensual and witty melodies that drew in crowds the world over.
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All right, I need to be honest with you about something. While my knowledge of music is encyclopedic in scope and diversity, I’m far from omnipotent. So, when Mastodon’s new album, CRACK THE SKYE, was dropped into my lap, I found myself at a loss. Mastowho? Masta P? Whut-whut? I’ve heard ‘em, sure, but I couldn’t pinpoint anything specific about them.
