This is our idea of a heartwarming tale from an otherwise cold, calculating, corporate industry. Ashlee Simpson is Marie Claire’s July cover girl, and in the much-discussed story, the pop star goes on and on about how much she values individuality and loathes the blonde-washing that goes on in Hollywood. Choice quotes: “Everyone is made differently, and that’s what makes us beautiful and unique. I want girls to look in the mirror and feel confident.” Then she got a nose job … and a chin job and did something to her cheeks, we’re told. Simpson fans were pissed, but Marie Claire readers were even more outraged that their magazine was duped by a Simpson, and flooded the MC offices with more than 1,000 letters, The New York Times reports. So what did recently inaugurated Ed-in-Chief Joanna Coles do? Sweep the whole thing under the rug in her new corner office? No. She expanded the letters column of the September issue (out August 15th), allowing fans to vent in public, and addressed the issue herself, writing, “We’re dazed and confused — and disappointed — by her choice, too!”

Beck’s new video for “Think I’m In Love” is neat in a hey-look-I’m-odd kind of way. But the song, which he’s played live on numerous occasions, is effortless and beautiful like all of Beck’s most enduring stuff. This whole teasing us with snippets of new music thing is really working. We’re officially jonesing for a new Beck album. [thanks Stereogum]

What was it, fans, that gave you the idea artists needed your input? Was it the relentless contests, the soliciting of votes for various awards shows, or the chance to try out for Beyonce’s touring band? Was it the way you felt when Jessica Simpson sang you name?

Whatever the nebulous turning point was, fans are now all about telling pop stars and the industry that promotes them what to do via indignant, online petitions that really lighten up the day for those of us who don’t give a shit. Beyonce’s fans think her new video’s too skanky. Madonna fans are enraged her new album’s not played enough on radio. Janet Jackson fans are accusing MTV of blacklisting their favorite star because of the superbowl incident (not because the new video sucks). And now, in our favorite installment, Bo Bice fans have taken to the Internet to launch the Let Bo Be Bo campaign raging against what they perceive as the pop-ifying of their idol’s sound. Did someone really think Clive was going to let him write his own record?

Another fabulously time-wasting exercise in rock geekiness: We’ve put together a totally unscientific, wholly off-the-top-of-our head list of the best first songs on first albums. We tried to stear clear of hit singles that overshadow the albums (”Where Did Our Love Go?”, “Good Times Bad Times”, “I Want You Back”) or bands that made their proper debuts with Eps (so no “Radio Free Europe”, “Summer Babe”, or “Bone Machine”). Here’s what we came up with. What else should be here?

The Beatles: “I Saw Her Standing There” on Please Please Me
Joy Division: “Disorder” on Unknown Pleasures
Van Halen: “Runnin’ With the Devil” on Van Halen
The Clash: “Janie Jones” on The Clash
The Ramones: “Blitzkrieg Bop” on Ramones
Jimi Hendrix: “Purple Haze” on Are You Experienced
The Stone Roses: “I Wanna Be Adored” on The Stone Roses.
Blondie: “X-Offender” on Blondie
Run-DMC: “Hard Times” on Run-DMC
X: “Your Phone’s Off The Hook But You’re Not” on Los Angeles.

The MTV Video Music Awards’ rating have been lagging for a while now, and last year’s sweaty shots of Mariah writhing near a swimming pool in Miami didn’t help things. So this year MTV’s making a point of bringing their baby back home to Radio City on August 31st, and planning a night of truly decadent rock behavior. Just one problem with that, based on today’s nomination announcements, the VMA golden-kids this year are the decidedly middle-of-the-road Red Hot Chili Peppers and Shakira, with seven nominations each. Second place for the most nominations goes to Madonna and Panic! At the Disco, with five nominations apiece. Note: Panic! At the Disco weren’t born when the Material Girl performed “Like A Virgin” at the debut VMAs in 1984 but now this ridiculously bombastic, two-year-old goth cabaret act is set to clean up as the hottest new band of the year. Are you feeling nauseous yet? What else … That video where Jared Leto channels The Shining while showcasing his artfully chipped nail polish is up for Best Rock video. Kinda makes you long for the days when the Hives and Vines got their own garage rock corner. Justin Timberlake, Beyonce, T.I., Ludacris, and the Killers will all be performing. Quintuplesome anyone?

• Paul McCartney’s amicable separation from wife Heather Mills seems to be over as McCartney initiates divorce proceedings.
• The last ever Top of the Pops broadcast was some kind of nostalgia medley, with clips from various performances being run like a wedding video. Weird. Sad. Weird and sad.
• Another string bikini, another wedding for Pam Anderson, who, as we all know, spent her Saturday marrying Kid Rock on board a yacht. She posted about it on her Web site the morning after.
• Clipse plan to “let the demons loose” by releasing their long-awaited new record on Halloween.

MTV is turning twenty-five this year, and to get you ready for the upcoming weeks of MTV-oriented nostalgia, USA Today put together little list of twenty-five key moments in the network’s history. They did a pretty thorough job of hitting all the biggies (like Madonna’s infamous performance at the ’84 VMA’s, the premier of The Real World) but our favorite MTV moments are a little sillier. Like when Beastie Boy Adam Yauch rushed the stage at the ’94 VMA’s dressed as Nathanael Hornblower, or the debut of Beavis and Butthead, or when we realized The Osbournes theme song that a cover of Ozzy’s song “Crazy Train” by Pat Boone. What are we forgetting?

Ozzy Osbourne made an appearance with his wife Sharon at the Hard Rock Café in New York City today to promote a t-shirt he’s designed for Signature Series, all the proceeds from which will benefit the Sharon Osbourne Colon Cancer Program. Ozzy, who says he’s “always doodling” (and showed us the smiley face doodle he has tattooed on his knee) also took time to make jokes (claiming that Sharon is his favorite artistic collaborator,) ponder other careers (he’d be in “prison” if he weren’t a rocker, he said,) and to discuss his plans for two new records. “I want to try and do two albums like I did with Diary of a Madman and Blizzard of Ozz, if I can,” the Prince of Darkness explained from behind his trademark purple shades. “I’ve got 24 ideas down right now” he added. Sharon also had a few choice lines for reporters. When asked about Gene Simmons’ reality show Sharon said, “Good luck to him but I have to be truthful, we were the first, we were the best, sorry.” We’d call it a feud but it’s Friday and we’re de-snarking for the weekend.

Our favorite fake-feud of the month continues with actor Owen Wilson releasing a tongue-in-cheek response to Steely Dan’s equally silly accusations that he ripped off the character he plays in new flick You, Me and Dupree from the Steely Dan song “Cousin Dupree”: “I don’t even know who this gentleman, Mr. Steely Dan, is,” Wilson demurred, adding that he hopes “this helps to clear things up and I can get back to concentrating on my new movie, HEY 19.”

Kate Jackson, lead singer for Sheffield’s The Long Blondes, is our new favorite rock vixen. Vintage clothing retailer by day, preening, primping, adorable-dimple-blessed rock singer by night, Jackson is all over the UK press and her band’s first album isn’t even out yet. The Long Blondes performed a set last night at New York’s Knitting Factory, which went a long way to justifying the hype. Jackson’s attitude, and confident yet girly sexuality is all Elastica, but her voice is a dead ringer for Lene Lovich, and the band actually sound like your classic Gang of Four/Wire revivalists. We selected girl group homage “Polly” as our Pick of the Day a while back, but check out more of the band’s music on their MySpace page.

Fall Out Boys Andy Hurley and Joe Trohman have signed a PETA2 (the younger, sassier PETA) petition calling on KFC to end its suppliers’ most egregious abuses of chickens. The signing took place at a London concert headlined by the premier rock n’ roll vegan, Morrissey, and adds Fall Out Boy to the long list of bands that have given KFC heck. Pretenders frontwoman and legendary badass Chrissie Hynde was arrested in France in 2003 for protesting a Paris outpost of the chain, and Pink, The Darkness, Jet, and Good Charlotte are all supporters of PETA2.

Bright Light Fever are a group of Sacramento, California post-high school kids who play deep, bluesy rock like they’ve been binging on Jam, Replacements, and Rolling Stones vinyl. Check out the howling blues romp of an opening track, “Broken Hands,” which introduces us to the impossibly rich low-end vocal talents of lead singer Evan Ferro and the elegant, psychedelic ballad “Crowded Street in May.” Also worth a listen is the throbbing, bass-heavy shake-up “A Deeper Blue” and the jangley, melodic charmer, “Cut Me Down to Size”. Their debut album, Bright Light Fever, is out in late September.

With the announcement that Eddie Van Halen has written “whompin-ass” new tracks for a porn flick called Sacred Sin, Van Halen completes his list of things to accomplish in this life. The guitarist says that porn director Michael Ninn “is like a Spielberg to” him and elaborates, “the imagery, the way he makes things look, just… sensual.” Ninn returns the praise by explaining that because Van Halen grew up in Amsterdamn “sex and music are all in one.” Eddie also calls the new songs he’s written for the film “the best work he’s ever done” and assures us there’s more where this came from.

Pete Townshend said on his In The Attic webcast yesterday that he intentionally exaggerated his squabble with Roger Daltrey. On his website, Townshend criticized Daltrey for not supporting the Who’s webcasts of their recent live shows. But now Townshend says that he was just trying to distract people from the fact that the webcasts – which cost $10 a pop, to benefit charity – didn’t make much money.
“When I went to talk to Roger about it we agreed that the best thing to do is to distract attention from the whole thing by having a public row,” said Townshend on his video webcast, “So we’re having a public row.”
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All week we’ve been editing down double albums into killer single discs. Our last project: OutKast’s 2003 disc Speakerboxxx/The Love Below.

This last one reminds us of an episode of the old Jackson 5 cartoon show where the brothers split up, and fans who wanted to listen to their latest song had to buy five separate singles and play them at the same time. Speakerboxxx/The Love Below was actually two pretty good solo albums by Big Boi and Andre 3000, packaged as one sprawling double album under the Outkast name. Andre went on a freaky Prince trip, while Big Boi brought in lots of guest stars to try to recreate the classic Outkast vibe. Listeners were left wondering if the songs would have sounded better if the duo were bouncing off each other, rather than stuck in their own groove. The answer, it turns out, is yes. This single-CD mix (with ten songs by each of them) gives an idea of the great single-disc party that might have been:
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