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-- "Seventy percent was the highest-cocoa dark chocolate I could find at Rite Aid." (Man presenting Valentine's card and gift to woman, overheard at Starbucks by Doug Inouye)

Doubt creeps in on little cat feet:

-- "He should have told you he had a rash." (Woman coming out of an elevator in the English department at San Francisco State University, overheard by Kathy Munderloh)

-- "He doesn't chat anymore." (Young woman to young woman, overheard at the Powell Street BART Station by Danette St. Onge)

-- "No, I wasn't disrespecting you. I was tired." (Young woman weeping into cell phone, overheard on Post Street by Gregory Davidson)

-- "I knew the Mussolini side of your family would take over eventually." (Man stepping out of a van to woman inside, overheard in Berkeley by John Selawsky)

-- "If I'm going to have sex in public, I'm going to do it on my own terms." (Young woman to young woman, overheard on College Avenue by Elizabeth Bernstein)

-- "I'm not talking to him. I don't know if he knows I'm not talking to him." (Young woman to young woman, overheard at a tea house in Oakland by Steve Koppman)

Time for an ultimatum:

-- "I said to him, 'You're 33 years old. You need a headboard for your bed.' " (Woman overheard near South Park by John Kovacevich)

-- "I told him to choose me or the sideburns. Well, it turns out he really is serious about becoming an Elvis impersonator." (Young woman on cell phone, overheard near Umbria by Anita Sagástegui)

-- "I said, 'I'll shave my legs when you start earning more money.' " (Woman at Claremont Resort and Spa gym, overheard by Nancy Pietrafesa)

-- "It's not the egg roll, Harry, it's the last goddamn nine years!" (Woman to dinner companion overheard at a Vietnamese restaurant by Guy Cherry)

They've had enough:

-- "Jeff, just to confirm, we're going to break up with our girlfriends before the trip, right?" "Definitely. I want to do it by Friday." (Man to man, overheard in the men's locker room at the San Francisco Bay Club by Chris Sears)

-- "I know I've been too clingy and whiny, but can we still sleep together until I get over you?" (Woman on cell phone, overheard in North Oakland by Frances Boston)

-- "Where are you with this girl ... on a scale of 1 to 10?" "Oh, I'd say between 3 and 5. She's moved out." (Optimistic guy talking with pal, overheard at Mai's Vietnamese Restaurant on Clement Street by Nan Warren)

-- "One of the perks of divorce: I have time to take a nap." (Man on cell phone, overheard at Saul's in Berkeley by Celeste Kopel)

-- "I remember the therapist, but not which wife it was." (Man to woman, overheard at the Napa Roasting Co. by Joe Pramuk)

-- "Yes, we are divorcing. But we're also remodeling." (Woman in Bay Club Marin dressing area, overheard by Alison Owings)

-- "It's the 80/20 rule. Ten percent of guys are jerks, and she found one of them." (Math-impaired gent, overheard on Brannan Street by Dawn Ruggeroli-Collins)

Ringing endorsements:

-- "The couple next to us is so sweet to each other. It must be a second marriage." (Man in an RV Park in Felton, overheard by Donna Laemmlen)

-- "Victor's not a thug. He's a vegetarian." (Daughter to mother, overheard at Harry Denton's Starlight Room by Steve Quinlan)

-- "She was only temporarily angry about the chicken carcass, so I won't need your apartment on a long-term basis." (Man to man, overheard at La Bodeguita del Media in Palo Alto by Bill Bucy)

-- "Honey, I have never run out of toilet paper since I married you." (Man to woman, overheard at Costco in San Francisco by Kristiina Carlson)

Happy Valentine's Day.

Open for business at (415) 777-8426 or e-mail lgarchik@sfchronicle.com.

This article appeared on page F - 10 of the San Francisco Chronicle