Now that he's 13, Alex is much less easy to amuse - although I'm not sure that the sand in the bathing suit trick has entirely lost its appeal. Either way, when I decided to take Alex (and his best friend, Aidan) to Maui this summer, I knew I had to have a strategy - unless I actually wanted the sound of waves lapping on the beach drowned out by whining.

Step one of my strategy was finding the right place to stay. Realizing that feeding two 13-year-old boys in Maui would decimate what was left of my 401(k), a kitchen was my No. 1 priority. Realizing also that two 13-year-old boys would want to go out on their own and engage in what is dubiously called "age-appropriate behavior," I added to my list plenty of distracting activities and adult supervision.

Step one: The solution was to rent a condo, something Maui has no shortage of. We went for a unit with two bedrooms and two baths - because no grown-up should be forced to share a bathroom with a 13-year-old boy - and a complete kitchen, with a full-size refrigerator. An even better - albeit much more expensive option - is a combination of condo and resort hotel, which are available, among other places, at the Fairmont Kea Lani and the Grand Wailea Resort.

Step two: Make a Costco run. Sure, you didn't come all the way to Maui to hang around a warehouse filled with packages of toilet paper the size of Smart cars. But have you ever spent time with a teen with low blood sugar? Trust me, at some point in your vacation you are going to be unbelievably grateful for that industrial-size box of Frosted Mini-Wheats. It won't even require a detour: One of the very first things you come to as you leave the Maui airport is the local Costco. It's on your left as you make the turn toward Wailea and Lahaina.

Step three: Resist the urge to sign up for every land, sea and air activity in the coupon book they give you at the rental car counter. Teenagers are not exactly dying to spend hours on a snorkel boat in your company. (And they're rarely impressed by scenery - unless that scenery includes other teenagers.) Better to pick one or two activities you can do together, and then rent snorkels, fins and boogie boards your kids can use on their own.

Step four: Do treat teens to at least one activity they can do without you. Alex and Aidan opted for facials at the marble palace Spa Grande at the Grand Wailea Resort. The Grand Wailea offers a Teen Spa program that features Body Bronzing, Tropical Fruits Scrub, Crystal Massage, even henna tattooing. The boys emerged with glowing skin and a list of skin care products that included an exfoliating mask, two kinds of washing gels and organic moisturizer - a regimen that seemed overly optimistic for kids who still have to be reminded to shower.

Step five: Show your teens that Hawaiian culture isn't just hotels with waterslides. One under-the-radar choice for doing this is the Kea Lani's Hawaiian Canoe Experience, which is free - even if you aren't staying at the hotel. The Canoe Experience starts early in the morning with some beachside chanting that's meant to wake up the sun (along with that hillside of condo-dwellers). Then you're given a quick paddling lesson before you and your two guides hop into an outrigger canoe and glide out onto the mirror-calm water. Not only will your teens get to hear stories about Maui's early days, they'll also learn the Hawaiian for such useful words as "turtle," "canoe" and "butt."

Another fun option is the Old Lahaina Luau. Authentic rather than hokey (despite the coconut-shell bras), the show at the Old Lahaina Luau is more about telling the history of Hawaii than about humiliating middle-aged tourists by making them dance with hula girls. And the food - from kalua pig roasted in an underground oven to lomi lomi salmon to the ubiquitous poi - is much better than it needs to be. Plus, what 13-year-old boy isn't going to love an all-you-can-eat buffet and guys who dance around with spears?

Have Kid, Will Travel appears the fourth Sunday of each month. To comment, visit sfgate.com/travel and follow the links. To suggest topics for future columns, e-mail havekids@sfchronicle.com.

This article appeared on page E - 3 of the San Francisco Chronicle