Those familiar with jazz will recognize a key player in this tale. Saxophonist John Handy, 75, has been performing for 60 years, ever since his musicianship paid his way through San Francisco State (where he later taught and was inducted into the Alumni Hall of Fame). He's played with all the greats, in all the great venues and all over the world. But it was in Sacramento, back in 1989, where he met his true love, Del Anderson, now 71.

Del's impressive resume in her own field, education, matches that of her partner. Having been the first African American finalist in the Miss San Francisco pageant in the early '60s, Del was vice president of Skyline College when they met. She later became president of San Jose City College and chancellor of San Francisco City College, from which she retired in 1998.

In 1989, the two were attending a political convention in Sacramento. John was performing and also on a panel about jazz and the clergy; Del was there with her friend, then city Supervisor Doris Ward. John and Del both discovered they were at the wrong venue. Having snagged directions to the right place, John urged Del to follow him. She did so, but several wrong turns later, she called out her car window: "If we ever get there, I'll buy you a drink."

The two met later in the conference. Del was familiar with the high-profile musician, and having both been single for nearly 20 years, they readily exchanged numbers. Back in the city, they had problems finding a time to meet. But the morning after the big earthquake, John called with an ultimatum.

"I don't care about the quake," he announced. "What about my date?" Del had been at Skyline making sure things were secure at the college, and she was hungry. She joined John for breakfast at Ocean Beach, followed by a quick lesson in video games at the Musee Mecanique, then in the basement of the Cliff House.

"I couldn't believe it," Del admits. "The president of a college playing video games!" Del had a flair for it, though, and soon the two made the place a favorite - if somewhat secret - haunt.

The relationship took off immediately and traversed several Bay Area moves for both of them. Finally, they settled together in the Oakland hills in 2001.

"We had so much history right from the start," says John. "The same passions - music, politics and education."

Marriage, however, was almost an afterthought. On July 21, 2001, they decided to look into it, but after an hour wait at the courthouse, they discovered they could do it that day. Afterward, they found a parking ticket on their car.

"It was a broken meter," says John with a laugh. "So I protested, and I beat it."

Louise Rafkin has contributed to the New York Times and NPR's "All Things Considered." Couple suggestions? Send a story to OntheCouch@sfchronicle.com.

This article appeared on page F - 2 of the San Francisco Chronicle