[-]Do you think your dc is a standout in his/her preschool class or basically average, middle of pack? girl or boy?
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Girl. standout. bright 99ERB. Exceptionally verbal, huge conceptual leaps unusual for 4 yr old.
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I'm sorry, but the idea of being a "preschool standout" is a bit laughable. Yes, my dc is excellent at block play and sharing. No, my dc is shy and quiet, so obviously doesn't belong in a tt private school.
[ Reply | Options ]It's only laughable because your dc isn't a standout, and apparently none of the dc you know are. But some dc are standouts, even in preschool. And it's got nothing to do with being quiet and shy vs loud and outgoing. The biggest standout dc I know of is quiet and shy, but it's obvious to his teachers and other parents who've taken the time to get to know him that he's exceptional.
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I do agree that there are some standouts in preschool. Mine was not, but still got into citywide. During preschool, there was only 1 dc that I thought was truly a standout.
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[-]I am a nanny in NYC. I don't have many nanny friends, and the ones I do have are very discreet about their jobs, as am I, because I work for a high-profile family. So I'm posting here, to ask a few questions about salaries/benefits typically offered to nannies in NYC. My job is very demanding, and the family expects a lot from me. I work very hard, and find my job very rewarding. I believe they are extremely generous with me. I'm wondering what is the highest salary and benefits package/perks you've heard of being offered to a nanny? I want to see where I fit in.
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I don't know the highest but we pay $850./week (8:00-5:00) on the books - with taxes, etc. calculated so that take home is $850. plus health care and bonus of 2 weeks salary at New Year's. 1 child. Pay $25./hour for extra time. Great nanny.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm a manny on the UES. My rate of pay is $38/hour and I work a full 40-hour week. I charge time-and-a-half for any overtime and/or weekend work, but my employers are good about adhering to my 40-hour schedule. I don't do housework, I don't cook, and I don't run errands -- my only responsibility is the children. VERY occasionally, if my employers are in a bind and it's convenient for me, I'll run a quick errand or two for them, but I've made it clear they can't make a habit of it. I'm a child-care professional, and I expect to be treated as such -- I am NOT "domestic help". Luckily, my employers recognize that.
[ Reply | Options ]What makes you worth 2x the going rate for top nannies? Not snarky, but very curious. You can hire a grad student from NYU for significantly less. I'm wondering what value added you provide? $25/hour would get you a very happy and professional nanny, offer $30/hour and you can probably hire away the best nanny you've ever seen, so why pay $38?
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My friends' former live in nanny made $800 net cash (employer paid all taxes) plus employer paid health care, paid vacation, room/board (obviously), car (for work & personal use), credit card (for any household expenses). 50 hours/week, no OT as there was also a night and weekend nanny.
[ Reply | Options ]38$ person above makes about 80,000/year, more than a lot of lawyers, doctors and so forth. I guess it's just like anything, you can get a $600 haircut and a 25$ haircut. Also, once you're in those circles that pay that kind of money, you're in and will be paid accordingly. I am sure there are "nannies" who charge even more. I mean, just as a matter of principle, Madonna and the like, is not going to pay less than $100,000 to her childcare employees...
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Last year, our nanny was making $1000/week on the books, $5,000 Christmas gift + birthday gift cards ($800 to $900 total value), paid for her health insurance, minimum 3 weeks vacations (would usually be 5 or 6 weeks in practice), about 50 hrs per week, no WE work, no last minute work, no travelling. Top agency told me it was very very generous. Unfortunately our job and financial situation has totally changed and we have had to restructure hours and compensation significantly. We are not a high profile family but believe strongly in taking care of the person who cares for our 2 DCs while we are at work - also ensures that she is very unlikely to leave for another job which provides stability to our family. Over the years I have seen little...
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[-]So I have a 3yo and am thinking of not sending him to preschool next year - he has been in Montessori since 20mths old and I think that between taking a music class at Dillard (1x/wk), doing a math/reading enrichment class like Kumon (2x/week), and doing some art classes through museums (& 92nd st Y)(1x/wk), and a sport program + home enrichment...he will be in fabulous shape. I estimated this would run me about $450/mo. Any downsides? I don't work.
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]he's going to zoned public - I'm guessing? You only need a preschool if you apply to privates. The only downside is he might freak-out in the huge (25 DCs) K class, if he's not used in big group setting
[ Reply | Options ]The downside is what sounds like a lack of sufficient time for unstructured socialization, but that could also be a problem in some preschools fwiw.
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[-]4 y.odc is enroute to take g&t and is having a meltdown about it. make him take it or wait until next year?
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[-]DD is avid soccer player (7yo), where in NYC can I find a league to sign her up? Could be uptown east or west side.
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[-]Absolutely favorite thing you registered for when you were pregnant? What can you not live with out with a new born?
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]i didn't register, but the boppy pillow is great and i couldn't live without lansinoh. oh...and cold pads. these are so great after giving birth. you can order them online or you can also make them yourself by dousing maxi pads with comfrey tea and freezing. when i had #1 i had them in the hospital and didn't realize i could order/make my own. w/ #2 these helped enormously. good luck. : )
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lansinoh is a cream/salve that you put on your nipples to protect them when BFing. really helps. and i got cold pads from here: http://www.1cascade.com/ . when you have db in the hospital, they don't give you many or send you home w/ extras, and they really really help. (wish i'd known to buy or make them when i had #1. )
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[-]Here's one argument for public school: While I understand that it's important to have intellectual peers, there is also value in being able to get along in the world. My not-quite-profoundly gifted kid (missed Davidson by 1 pt) started at a TT private in a class of 15 other smart kids. In 3rd grade, we moved him to a NYC gen ed. Yes, really. One problem with the TT and g&t schools is the lack of diversity -- not Benetton diversity (some have that) or economic diversity (few have that) but intellectual diversity. My kid was fine in school, but on a playground or at baseball, forget it -- he didn't know how to talk to most kids his age. The last two years have been his most productive by far in terms of personal growth and I only regret not d...
25 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]parent of gifted dc (not davidson level, but 99-scoring) at gen ed and ita. my dc's social development has been as impressive as his academic development, and just as important to us.
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ditto here, 99+SB kid, PSD and teachers told us DC would not have intellectual peers anywhere. we took that with a big grain of salt. DC doing great in gen ed public K, yes teacher recognizes DC's abilities but DC is completely engaged and, what's more, has really, really benefitted from the structure of public and is navigating socially very well. we're happy.
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It's like the poster below who posted the Steve Jobs article (which I loved)...public teaches you life skills. http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html
[ Reply | Options ]i kinda agree with you, but am really not loving my 5 yr old dd being in a nyc public school right now. her teachers are pretty great, the curriculum is fantastic, and some of the kids are really sweet and smart, but some kids are really mean, foul-mouthed and violent. maybe it's like that everywhere (?), and maybe i'm wrong, but i feel like it wouldn't be as common in private schools.
[ Reply | Options ]np: I get that it's a concern, believe me, but maybe it's best to get a little exposure to those types of people (as long as dc is not in physical or mental danger). After all, there are foul-mouthed and violent people in real life. If dd can learn at a young age how to diffuse those situations and laugh them off, trust me she'll be better off when she's older.
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from or: but it's probably easier for teachers to deal with these kids and such problems when they are not alone in a class with 26 kids. class sizes are smaller in private schools, no? my dd has really had her eyes opened this year that people are not nice (to put it mildly) and it makes me sad that she has to deal with certain kids punching her and telling her they hate her. there's not much the teacher can do when she has so many kids to keep her eyes on.
[ Reply | Options ]It might not happen in the classroom, but it will happen on the playground, or in the girls room, or in the hallways. It's less tolerated in private (unless it's a connected/wealthy/celeb kid), but it happens there, too. That said, I'm really sorry for what your daughter is going through. That's not a pleasant lesson to learn at any age. (And if she's really being physically assaulted, you need to go to the administration. Many publics have a zero tolerance policy on this.)
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i don't think this argument holds much weight. the kids that start in K are going to be all over the map as they get older and kids are kids no matter what school they go to. The argument for private is much more about what the school has to offer - the social stuff is the same no matter where you go
[ Reply | Options ]That wasn't our experience. In private, attention seemed focused on academic achievement (and my kid enjoyed an elevated status among his teachers and peers). At our public, kids are celebrated for all aspects of themselves. My kid may be 'the smart one' but that doesn't make him particularly special -- not compared to the amazing drummer in his class, or the kid who hand draws unbelievable mazes. In many ways, public school has leveled the playing field, and my kid works as hard on his four-square game as he does on his extra-curricular math problems. Maybe it would have happened in private, but talking to kids in upper grades sure made us think it would be more of the same.
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see, we're on the other side of that argument. Our gifted DD (we moved to city for her to start 1st grade, so she missed all applications, etc and we were unsure about $$) had been in a highly regarded PS (in D2) and was socially a fish out of water. Told us every single day she felt out of place, like she was different, no one understood her, etc. Then we moved to Brooklyn and switched her to another well-respected PS, but with a more traditional approach, thinking that's what she needed, and again -- fish out of water. Her elementary years have been hell for her.
[ Reply | Options ]That really sucks. I'm the OP, and I'd strongly recommend the g&ts for your kid. There is no question that some (many? most?) gifted kids really do need to be surrounded by intellectual peers. My kid sorely needed other things -- empathy and humility, to name two -- but it sounds like your daughter needs kids she can talk to. What's best for mine is clearly not working for yours. My original post was just trying to offer a different point of view than one usually sees here.
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[-]Any suggestions on what to do in the city today? 8yr old dd.
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[-]St. Ignatius vs. 290 vs. G+T. What would you chose and why?
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]We're at 290. St Igs is too religious once you move to the grammar school, and 290 is such a great school I didn't see the upside of jumping through hoops to get into LL which is further away and a little creepy (all the white and asian kids in G&T, all the AA and Latino cordoned off in the gen ed - just not my cup of diversity)
[ Reply | Options ]We have friends who chose 290 over St I 2 years ago. Dc is miserable (not challenged enough academically), facilities are run down, no sense of community. Family reapplied this year (early admission) to St I and was rejected. They are pretty down in the dumps right now. :(
[ Reply | Options ]So the dc is in 1st this year? I have noticed that the MNS 1st grade class is less motivated than most of the others. Tell them to volunteer for the Auction or the Fest with Zest and they will meet plenty of parents from other grades and maybe be able to bring back that sense of community in their grade.
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the catholic schools have gone WAY downhill. there's no way i would send dc there. even st. i. it's just not a competitive school these days.
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[-]how can a tt reject a legacy that has donated millions? Is that possible?
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not fake. It happened to a family at Dalton. The grandfather of the dc was a big wig..the mom was a legacy but the dc was RJ EVEN WITH the rec. letter from another big wig
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I can't see how this can be true. Dalton would be alienating not just one or two but three alums in one fell swoop. This has to be fake.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: This is true. And I know they are not shy about rejecting siblings from powerful families including one big media family recently! Sounds implausible. But it's true.
[ Reply | Options ]Wow. I'm so impressed. GO Dalton! Are there more than one case like this at Dalton?
[ Reply | Options ]I think that Babby is trying to shake the 80s Dalton reputation of spoiled and materialistic. We were shocked to see Little Dalton when we toured because it was nothing like we expected. Most visibly diverse and seemed completely down-to-earth. Nothing like the Dalton of yore...
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I actually find this to be not gret to hear. These are 4 yos!!!!!! Who knows whether a chidl is a great fit ornot? Why do thsese schools think *they* are so awesoem and unique that they can divide families? It is bullshit.
[ Reply | Options ]Oh come on. Babby's been doing this for a while now. I'm sure she wanted to accept $$$$ dc if he/she could do okay. That dc must have been really obviously not right... maybe terrible behavior (from psd report or playdate) or terrible ERB. I gotta believe there was something obviously wrong if a $$$$ leg kid is rejected.
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Heard from a reputable source that the child of a big money family was rejected last year. Babby told them she wasn't sure the fit was right was not convinced the child would succeed at Dalton.
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I know it sounds wild but she really wants children to develop this great sense of confidence by taking academic challenges. Admissions is not based on donor potential DC admitted last year and while we are not on FA, we are just making it work. But we love it. And the fundraising committte seemed very appreciative of our small donation to the Annual Fund.
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You know you all just make me want to barf and I kind of like Dalton just fine. But the "GO Dalton" posts and the "Wows" and the "too good to be true" - BARF!!!!
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There are always a few dim bulbs who slip in somehow without anyone noticing that they are actually not so bright and the schools deal with them for a few years. NO ONE is going to reject the known "dim bulb" if the parents are proven big donors. They can always counsel out later in the gentlest way if the kid is just not keeping up (no family wants to keep their dc in a school where s/he's getting "d"s)
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Yes. It's happened at TT and 2T that I know of. Not necessary a "dim bulb," just not a great fit and school had other priorities that year. Weird, but true.
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Yes, that's the "2T" I was thinking of. And I know for a fact it's true. They're not as beholden to $$ as some other schools seem to be. (Although it's got to be very expensive to maintain the Fieldston campus.)
[ Reply | Options ]when this happens, I would assume it has nothing to do with the kid. More an issue with the family, despite the donations. Must be hard to manage PITAs. the school decides they are more trouble than they are worth. most kids would be fine at any of these schools, especially in early years.
[ Reply | Options ]I am sure it had nothing to do with the kid per se. Not even sure if the family was difficult. Everyone thinks you can just buy your way into any good school, but I really don't think that's true. I am sure some awful people do get into certain schools due to power/influence/money...but I don't think it's a guarantee.
[ Reply | Options ]If Vanity Fair is to be believed, even Rupert Murdoch (whose own daughter attended Brearley) had Caroline Kennedy write a letter of recommendation to Brearley for his daughters. I mean, if he has to sweat for even a moment, then who doesn't?
[ Reply | Options ]most powerful people get their kids into schools of their choice. may nt always be tt. some people don't care as much about this. they are happy if their kids are happy, and they have enough $$ that the kid doesn't need to be the next fulbright scholar. I have never met a very $$ and powerful person who did not have kids in private school here.
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I have heard a story about this and ECFS; can't imagine we know the same family. It must happen often.
[ Reply | Options ]I doubt it's the same family. I really think that ECFS cares less about the money families and catering to them than other schools. There are plenty of $$$ families, but it doesn't seem like they get special treatment like they do at certain other schools. (Have heard, for example, that HM tries to curry favor and attract $$ families, but can't say for sure. It's just what I've heard...)
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Schools choose kids they think will do well in the school. It's obviously more of an art than a science to predict how a child will do, but I can think of kids in my dc's preschool that seemed more suited to some places than others. Unfortunately, parents often choose schools for their own reasons--not for the child.
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[-]Two questions: 1) what is the name of that enrichment/tutoring program everyone uses - it's like "Manahatten...something or other" 2) what are some great ways (classes/programs) to enrich your dc w/science,math art etc...that are low cost or free in NYC?
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Manhattan Edge? Someone posted they use Singapore Math. I'd never heard of it. In our experience, we had good luck in the children's programs of smaller museums (e.g. Dahesh, South Street Seaport, perhaps the Rubin now). They're less crowded and we've experienced some wonderful things (Brian Selznick talking on Walt Whitman and helping kids in an art project at the South Street Seaport museum, for example).
[ Reply | Options ]^^^ Keep your eyes open for local library programs also. For math, we subscribed to a series called Mathmania for math puzzles. If you use the internet and the library wisely, you'll find many resources for free. For science, my child liked books with step-by-step stories of a life cycle (It's a Frog's Life-- http://www.amazon.com/Its-Frogs-Life-Natures-Secrets/dp/1575842505/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1234620980&sr=1-2 for example). You can take nature walks in the same area throughout the year and take notes of what you see. There are afterschool programs like Science Teacher Sarah and Carmelo the Science Fellow.
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[-]Please recommend a therapist. My kids are in public, not entering MS or HS yet, couldn't be less interested in private, yet I had nightmares all night about waiting for acceptance letters with Alec Baldwin. BTW, has his performance in 30 Rock allowed anyone to forgive him for the message on his kid's answering machine? [Actually, now that I consider it, I'm not sure I've gotten over the months of nightmares I had after watching Thomas the Tank Engine for the 50th time.]
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[-]a friend of mine told me that anderson and most public schools have metal detectors...is this true????
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Not true. Do you believe everything your friend tells you? NEST doesn't. Nor does any of 12 different schools I toured.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't know about Anderson specifically, but some publics do have metal detectors.
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I toured a dozen public elementary and NONE had metal detectors. Sounds like your friend has never stepped foot in a public school.
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