She's lying on her back, screaming in mortal agony as hands dig deep into her abdomen and tear the wriggling, blood slicked creature from her body. "Alien 5"? The sickest horror movie ever made? Nope — it's just the home video from
Anna Nicole Smith's Bahamian C-section, which she and her ersatz-husband
Howard K. Stern proudly shared with Anna's adoring public on
Entertainment Tonight. The tape was made during the September 7 birth of Anna and Howard's (or so he says) baby daughter, Dannielynn Hope, just three days before the death of Anna's 20-year-old son, Daniel. I was lucky enough to catch the event (the birth, not the death) in rerun first thing this morning before I even had time to down my breakfast, which is the only thing that saved me from throwing it back up. In the segment, Anna and Stern sit down with
ET's Mark Steine, who's already looking a little green around the gills. Anna tells us how the doctors advised her to have her baby by Caesarian 'cause the baby had grown so large "it was gonna bust my womb." Thanks for that. With our collective gorge now on the rise,
ET cuts right to the videotape. As Anna lies sweating and screaming — she claims she had an epidural, but it wasn't working — Stern loving captures it all on video, coaching her along with what turns into weird call and response amid the mother-to-be's moans.
"You're having a baby!"
"I'm having a baby… I'm having a baby…"
"She's beautiful!"
"She's beautiful…"
For the big finale, Dannielynn Hope is pulled from Anna's by now seriously busted womb and given to her mommy. Sitting on her couch months after the event, even Anna can't bear to watch. "I swear, it was just my insides being ripped out," she fondly remembers with a disgusted shiver. Well, that's one way of looking at it. Thanks for sharing, guys.
