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Michael Logan's Worst of 2007

Drake Hogestyn by Chris Haston/NBC
I knew we were in for a bumpy ride when All My Children started the year by murdering Dixie — the show's heart and soul — with a plate of poisoned pancakes. But hey, that meant more airtime for Zarf, a rude, suffocatingly hammy, penis-flashing transgender rock star who fell in love with Pine Valley's saintly lesbian Bianca. Appropriately, fans on the Internet named the couple "Barf."

In a pathetic attempt to boost ratings, Days of our Lives pretended to kill its most popular male character, John, played by Drake Hogestyn. Even the cast was fooled. But with the Nielsens staying flat, Hogestyn is now back at work and we're left to wonder: How the hell can we ever invest in Days again?

General Hospital viewers had a fit and threatened to stop watching when heartthrob Jax was held hostage and forced into sex by a loony Russian chick. Meanwhile, they didn't seem to mind when a Port Charles strangler killed three women.

Things that made me cringe: Constantine Maroulis on The Bold and the Beautiful; the weepy judges on I Wanna Be a Soap Star; the As the World Turns plot that had Alison — a former porn star and meth addict — offering to donate her eggs so Gwen could get pregnant. But nothing outgrossed Passions' evil hermaphrodite, Vincent, who seduced his own father and wound up pregnant. Not even Nip/Tuck had the nerve to try that.

It was also the year that the Daytime Emmys — plagued by ballot problems, some very suspicious winners and an insulting telecast — officially became irrelevant. As Mario Cantone noted on The View: "It's the only show where people you've never heard of win awards nobody gives a crap about." Being a true-blue soap nut, I should have been outraged by that remark. Except I had to agree.

Lastly, can't we go back to the way things were on The Young and the Restless? Please, we're begging ya, CBS! Under its late, great creator Bill Bell, this hallmark soap was hypnotic, elegant, so romantic it made you woozy, and often so emotionally powerful it felt like it was hitting you way down in your DNA. Not anymore. Under head writer/executive producer Lynn Marie Latham — who seems to have a weird need to mess with success — Y&R is FUBAR and limped through 2007 a sad, hollow, boring, pointless mess. The big questions: Why would the suits at CBS allow this to happen? And what are they going to do about it now?

Posted by TV Guide News
Jan 8, 2008 11:01 AM
I would agree with you about Dixie on AMC but have to say that I really enjoyed Constantine on B&B. I was surprised to learn he can act and sing. The writing was pretty bad but if he had a good part I think he could do really well. Not to mention how beautiful he is to look at!
I thought the Jax story line was stupid...
Posted by Maya88
Jan 8, 2008 12:49 PM
The Jax storyline was dumb, but I was hoping he'd die and never ever come back. To much for this girl to dream for.
Posted by ladyofthelake
Jan 8, 2008 2:08 PM
I think every storyline on AMC sucked this year. As for ATWT, how about Emily's gross stint as a call girl, Lily constantly making bad choices, Will & Gwen having everything bad thrown at them all year long, and Noah's crazy homophobic father and hooker mother? Yikes. Let's hope 2008 will bring better storylines, though I think I'm pretty much done w/ AMC.
Posted by bluegrumpy
Jan 8, 2008 2:14 PM
I had to stop watching all the ABC soaps, I just couldn't stand to lose any more brain cells!

I tried to pick up again during Christmas and felt my brain turning to mush.

I can't think of one thing that I miss.
Posted by Dawn
Jan 8, 2008 3:02 PM
oh god, logan, I so agree with you re. Y&R! Lynn Marie Latham has just messed with this show just way too much.

The Christmas 1995 episode brought back so many memories of the old YR, with the inviting orchestrated music vs. the rock crap that plays in some scenes. What a blessing to finally see Ashley Suzanne Abbott back home where she belongs in Genoa City at chez Abbott. The scenes with Peter Bergman and Eileen Davidson, captured, as always, the magical chemistry these performers display in their sibling relationship.

The 1995 holiday episode once again reminded the fans of the timeless romantic love shared between Nicholas Newman and Sharon Collins versus Nicholas Newman's and Phyllis Summers' lust thrown in our faces everyday. Also, the diversity of the cast - the Asian Americans; and the African American Hastings/Winters. Today, the one leading African American male is reduced to being Victor Newman's,,,, you know,,,,,rhymes with witch. How pathetic it is to see Neil Winters continually being submissive to Victor Newman's every whim and fancy.

I am not even going to get into the trashy Gloria Fischer, whose schemes hog air time, and the one-sided Jack Abbott versus the World writing.

I've been watching YR for more than 21 years, and for the first time, in 2007, I fast forwarded through a number of scenes. Just breaks my heart to see the mess YR has become!
Posted by cityboysoul
Jan 8, 2008 3:44 PM
cityboys, totally agree. That Christmas episode had me tearing up. Especially seeing the original Vicki again (not that Amelia isn't good ). AND Crickett. And Danny! And Paul's mom. And Dru, Nathan, and Olivia. And Jack's Asian gf and son that I didn't even know about!! I was high on nostalgia, it was so good.

Perhaps if the Lynn Latham storyline is true, the new writers can send Gloria to jail, kick Amber and Cane to the curb after finding out they're both frauds, discover that Paul's daughter is actually a poor excuse of an assistant D.A. and get Crickett back, and, what would be most satisfying, have Drucilla knock on Neil's door stating she had survived the fall months ago but wouldn't come back to Neil until stopped acting like a lapdog.

Oh, and it would be nice if Sharon and Jack split up pronto and wouldn't fall into Brad's icky arms considering both men married Nicki and are twice Sharon's age.
Posted by rhythmchyc
Jan 8, 2008 4:10 PM
?<img border="> I guess that's your opinion, but I really liked Constantine on the B&B!
it sure was a nice change from the same old stuff! I liked the music.
I quit AMC- and got into that, now back to AMC..But they are messing up..or maybe just not into it anymore.
B&B Should of kept Constantine I think.
Soaps fan- RP
Posted by rpron
Jan 8, 2008 4:51 PM
I SO agree with Dawn. I have watched Y & R for many years. Phyllis with Nick? In real years isn't she old enough to be his mother? He and Sharon belong together. Also very unnatural for son Noah to be such a big fan of the woman who broke up his parents marriage. Don't most kids want their parents together? Weird. Has anyone forgotten that Phyllis ran down Christine and Paul with her car so many years ago and never paid for that one? And now she's such a good person? I fast forward through all Phyllis scenes. She was much more fun evil. The constant Jack bashing? REALLY GETTING OLD.
Posted by LMGRN
Jan 8, 2008 6:01 PM
I liked Constantine on B&B.
The writing is disjointed and worse than insipid.
AMC has grown pathetic. I used to be a fan. No more.
Jan 8, 2008 10:12 PM
I so agree with you, Mr. Logan, especially about AMC. I had been a loyal viewer since 1980, but I finally gave up in disgust about a year ago.
Posted by momosity
Jan 9, 2008 1:52 PM
Yes, Y&R was The Hot Mess of 2007 and continues to be in '08. It's just not worth watching anymore which is too bad because the cast is so good.

Days needs to cut it with telling an actor they're fired, everyone believing it, and then they ask the person back. We didn't go for that sh-t in 2004 and we're not going for it now. Cut it out Ken Corday!

And I'm just waiting for a stupid show to hire Megan McTavish. Someone will. They always do.
Posted by SharonTateFan4ever
Jan 15, 2008 6:16 PM
While I only watch ATWT, I agree that most of the things mentioned about all shows is on the money, but one major disagreement. While I currently even hate ATWT, during 2007 Maura West as Carly Tenney (before being neutered, assassinated, and made irrelavant by a writing team that hates the actors and the audience) gave yet another year of great permances and I would not say that she was a suspecious winner. Her fourth nom, great reel, and it's a shame to lump all winners into the same category as it really takes away from their individual contributions even when given crap.
Posted by guillermoj
Jan 15, 2008 7:33 PM
Bravo to Y&R being called a mess in 2007! I thought I was the only one who thought that! I have watch the show since its debut in 1973 and for the first time stopped watching it for 2 months. The Victoria in a coma story along with the Jack and Sharon pairing was just alittle too much disappointment for me. Not one character I am rooting for anymore. I agree on bring back some of the great characters or expanding on some like Mrs Chancellor and Jill. Bring back Jacks two sons, Jills son, Pauls son, Victors son, Esthers Daughter, the next generation of great characters. Say goodby to the Fishers and everyone having to do with their storylines pronto!
Posted by hgefre
Jan 16, 2008 11:05 AM
Y&R was the show that was always a cut above all the others and this year Lynn Latham and her new crew were able to take it down and make it like all the other shows if you know what I mean.

Big raspberries for Barbara Bloom, the Bell Family, and everyone else at CBS for letting this happen just like Michael Logan said.
Posted by SharonTateFan4ever
Jan 16, 2008 12:06 PM
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