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Is It Just Me?

by Rochell Thomas
Read Why did The Wire do that to Duquan?
Why did The Wire’s scribes have to send Duquan off to the “shooting gallery” as if becoming a drug addict was the kid’s only career option? Oh, I get that it’s hard to escape the cycle of poverty and drug abuse but that’s one move the series did not have to make. I don't think I can forgive them for the parting shot of teen-aged Duquan sticking a needle in his arm.
Read Does The Biggest Loser Really Care?
This season producers behind NBC’s calorie-counting hit have nobly pledged to help save the environment by reducing the number of plastic disposable water bottles they contribute to landfills. It’s a great idea tainted by the fact that they’re doing it by "partnering" with an advertiser who sells the water filters and reusable water bottles that all the BL5 contestants carry on air. (Hello, major product placement.) They call their initiative “Filter For Good.” And, if you want to get in on the green action, you’ve got to pay $10 for the new bottle or $20 or more for the filter or a pitcher. Now, I’m probably being nitpicky here. But, if the folks behind The Biggest Loser truly, truly cared, wouldn’t they give away thousands of free bottles or at least offer more than a coupon for a few bucks off. I know, I know. They’re trying to do something good. But a lot of shows talk about how they want to help you go green when what they really want is for you to help fill their pockets with green by buying the new light bulb, cotton bag or [try not to laugh] less-gas-guzzling SUV. And yes, there’s nothing wrong with making a little money and if I don’t like it I should just quit this show. But I can’t. Try as I may, I just can’t seem to break up with Loser, because despite all the things that annoy me, it does do a lot of good. People lose inspirational amounts of weight on this show. So much so that I keep forgetting that watching The Biggest Loser is not the same as actually doing something healthy and that tuning into this show won’t change what I see on my scale.

My Week in Reality TV

Sunday 12.30.07: The Amazing Race 12
Say farewell to America’s favorite Goths. Kynt and Vyxsin got really lost in Italy last week and they just couldn’t recover in India. Still, this was a great episode—it came down to the wire between Nate and Jen and “The Pinks” who went out swinging. Kynt and Vyxsin were the first to find the classified ad clue and they rocked the yoga speed bump. But then they blew it when 1.) They U-turned Gramps and Nick instead of Nate and Jen. And 2.) Kynt had to go back to retrieve the right gas receipts. (This came after he tried to be shady by leaving the elevator door open so Jen couldn’t use it.) Bummer. Now I’m left with teams that alternately annoy or bore me.


Monday 12.31.07: New Year’s Eve countdowns— Dressed like a Goth Bjork, Tila Tequila made me lose my dinner—I mean, uh, faith in the reality TV love connection—when she announced during her MTV New Year’s Eve Masquerade that she and Bobby have broken up and she will be looking for a new match in a second season of her show. Great.
Speaking of New Year’s Eve shows… How many more networks can cram into the tiny radius that is Times Square? Fox, MTV, and NBC had one. And of course ABC rolled Dick Clark out for another New Year’s Rockin Eve. It was funny. All the networks were basically shooting the same crowd. And their poor sound guys must’ve been going crazy editing out the noise from competitors’ concerts. At one point, me and Zeke channel surfed over to Univision and it looked like El Gordo and La Flaca were broadcasting from a rooftop desperately looking down onto the Times Square crowd, it cracked us up and out of our flu-induced stupors.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008: The Biggest Loser 5
Yes, three more things on BL.
1.) At a glance the color on my TV makes it difficult to tell the difference between the Purple and Blue teams. Both shirts look blue. Does this happen to anyone else?
2.) That race where the teams had to run what seemed like a mile or two while towing hot air balloons looked hard—and impressive. Could I tow the helium equivalent of my own and Zeke’s body weight in race? Probably. But not at a respectable clip.
3.) Is it wrong that I cheered a little when Maggie and Jenn, the youngest players came in last during the race?

Wednesday, January 2, 2008: Make Me a Supermodel Casting Special

“You have to FEEL the clothes you’re wearing,” Tyson advised the wannabe models. And he was serious as a heart attack. Not that the world needs a show where viewers vote for people who want to make a living off their looks. But here’s a quick recap Tyson Beckford (Mr. Tyra), Nikki Taylor and co. narrowed the pretty pool down from “hundreds” to 35 and then to 14. (“Sex” the delusional rhythm-less fool from the So You Think You Can Dance auditions was among the early rejectees.) Actually, online voters picked two of the final 14 months ago—which was sketchy-sketch-sketch. How can you be a fan of show that hasn’t debuted yet? I’ll have to look into that. But anyway, though the show doesn’t officially start until next week, there’s already an early judge favorite —Jackie Hydock, a pretty, super-confident and friendly girl from Ohio. But my favorite is Perry, the “messy, demanding and inpatient,” soldier-looking guy who flirted with Nikki and somehow managed to make himself seem taken and available at the same time. (He mentioned his girlfriend repeatedly but then did something gorgeous that would make you forget.)

Thursday, January 3, 2008: Celebrity Apprentice
I watched this off-and-on while at the gym. From what I could tell, Omarosa’s back to her old bitchy ways. Although she might have had a point when she told her team not to bank on their so-called celebrity to sell hotdogs. Of course she might have also been jealous that even the Playboy model has a higher profile than she does. But who knows? Not that it mattered. The sub-lebrities basically called up their rich friends to make ridiculous sales during the hotdog stand challenge. I know it’s for charity but there’s nothing entertaining about watching someone pay $10,000 hot dog and a $5000 bottle of water. I don’t care if Gene Simmons is naked while selling it. But, again, that’s just from what I could tell. I was busy trying to outpace and outlast the guy on the crossramp/eliptical thing next to mine. I just switched to a new gym and no-cardio mister let my fat fool him into thinking he was doing all right as long as he was moving faster than the big girl. I hate when people do that. So, when I saw him look at my machine then increase his difficulty level and speed to match mine, I picked up the pace. Then he picked up the pace. Then I picked it up and found myself gripping the bars trying to maintain 165 RPM uphill. (Gym rats know that’s slow for runners but fast for me.) Thank God he tapped out after 15 minutes because I would not have lasted 20 minutes, let alone 30 at that pace.



Read Life on the Commercials: Day 1
I panicked. Fall Preview is normally the time when I giddily sit down and plan out my viewing schedule for the year. I rank my shows. Decide who gets watched live (on Wednesdays it's Bionic Woman), who gets taped (Gossip Girl and Kitchen Nightmares) and who gets back-burnered for repeat season (Private Practice, if it makes it).

This is normally a fun process. I look forward to it. But, like I said, this year I panicked. Why? Because with this season's CBS, CW and NBC lineups, Monday is my new Thursday while Thursday is still jam-packed Thursday. And Wednesday nights just might kill me.

There's just not enough time, not if I'm also going to do all the wonderful date stuff with Zeke, train for a triathlon and century ride, and take Mandarin classes. Crappety-crap-crap. My apartment is a wreck. I've haven't talked to some of my friends in ages. And my Scrabble game has slipped. (Grandma's gon' kick my butt.) How's a girl supposed to get 27 prime-time TV hours in each week, in a timely fashion, and still have a life?

The solution hit me during Monday's Rock of Love marathon. I'll have to take it old-school and live on the commercials. Once it gets cold I'll be cycling in the gym anyway, so I'll watch noncrucial shows there. Then when I'm home, if I can just manage to stay awake (next to TV-watching, sleep is my other habit), I can go back to doing the dishes, sit-ups, etc., on the breaks. My DVR had broken me of that habit. Heck, it's got me trying to fast-forward through live TV. And when I'm not fast-forwarding, I'm falling asleep. But no more. I can't miss my shows and I can't nix my Zeke time, so I'll combine what I can to make room for the two. That's the plan.

Tuesday, Sept. 4 — Life on the Commercials: Day 1

Tonight's Life Goals:
• Ride 15 miles (Ideally in one hour. But I'll give myself 75 minutes to stop for lights, pedestrians and stuff).
• Fold/put away laundry.
• Do the dishes.
• Install Office.

TV Goals:
• Watch the rest of yesterday's The Closer (I knocked out midepisode), Biggest Loser: Where Are They Now, Damages and maybe Chelsea Lately (what can I say, I like that rude hussy).

9:36 pm: Back from ride. I only got in 14 miles in 75 minutes (85 if you count the 10-minute break I took to watch the Caribbean marching band practice and to call my friend Hui Hwa after in-line skaters passed me in the park doing 17 mph!) That's just not right. I'm used to thunder-thighed cyclists whizzing by like I'm standing still. But skaters?! I killed myself to catch up to the slowest one so I could clock him with my odo-mach. "Dude. You're. Doing. 17 miles an hour," I wheezed. "It's a slow night," he replied before sprinting off to catch up with his partner. Crazy-fit people make me sick.

10:30: I ate a 15-point potpie (what am I crazy?) while watching the rest of The Closer. "Topper" shows up in court and it's "to be continued." Crap. If I'd known it was going to be a two-parter, I would have just skipped it until next week. But, hey, the Office install is [check that box] done.

10:35 Biggest Loser: Did They Keep the Weight Off
"I've never seen a ring like that," new host Alison Sweeney gushes over the "Kraiko Diamond" Marty plans to give to Amy when he conveniently proposes later in the episode. Funny. Wonder if she's seen tacky product placement like this before. I have. Didn't like it any of the other times either. But goodness gracious it still doesn't make me hate this show. It's so inspirational. Of course, now I really regret the potpie.

Oh, Eric still looks good. He's kept off 176 of his 214-pound loss. You're my hero. And Pete's wife looks 15 years younger. New hair and 30 pounds does a lot for a woman. Note to Pete: My man, I love that you've still got the rock-hard abs, but, um, please wipe off the sweat. It's highlighting your drooping manboobs and grossing me out a bit.

The Brave One Commercial
How is it possible that Jodie Foster looks 14? She must be pushing 45 by now, if she hasn't passed it already, yet she looks like she did when she was in Foxes. Wait. This is a commercial. Ah, crappety pop. I was supposed to hit the rest of the laundry. And take out my contacts.

Back to Biggest Loser
Wylie's kept off 97 of his pounds. Cool. He's still so cute. Love his smile. Wonder if he has a boyfriend yet.

The Olay Commercial
Hey is that Top Model's Ya-Ya? You go, gir-.... Ooops. Commercial. I should start the dishes. Or I could just rest my eyes for a second.

Wednesday, Sept. 5
The fact that I'm posting this after my morning meetings at work speaks volumes. Day 1 of "LOTC" was not a big success. Last thing I remember was cooing at Suzy and Matt's baby, then looking at Matt's gobbleneck and thinking, "Ooooh, Hoover did not keep the weight off!" (Curiously enough, the couple did not show up to weigh in.) Next thing you know it was 3 am. But, hey, I've got a week to get up to six-hours-a-night TV speed. So, at 3 am I got up, finished watching Loser, opened and sorted a week's worth of mail, started Damages, and e-mailed this to the office. I also washed a blouse that had been soaking in bleach since Thursday. So what if I Kramered it and did the darn thing while I was also taking a shower. At least I got it done. One more thing off the list. Not that you need to know my list — or any of this. But I need to blog about something. So forgive me for making you suffer through my attempts to live life on the commercials.
Read Food, Not-So-Glorious Food
Why do people keep trying to serve up trash?
Hate to take it to the dark side of prime time's food service industry, but lately it seems like I keep catching people doing something naughty to a plate of food. Just a few weeks ago on Fox's Hell's Kitchen, pastry chef Jen tried to recycle pasta she'd just tossed into the trash. This weekend I saw a scene on HBO's Big Love where Heather Tuttle dropped a hamburger bun during one of her sermons to Sarah Henrickson. The usually pious miss picked it up, brushed it off and proceeded to serve it up. (What the...?!) And don't even get me started on the things Dane Cook and Co. do to food during late-night reruns of the movie Waiting. These nasty coinkidinks almost make a girl not want to eat food cooked outside of her own home.
Read Is That PCD Show Making Folks Bipolar?
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Pussycat Dolls: Search for the Next Doll by Michael Desmond/ The CW
Is the PCD show making folks bipolar?

I’m starting to think so because one minute I like PCD Presents: Search for the Next Doll then five minutes later I loathe it for being the glorified, flesh-peddling infomercial that it is. Seriously, Robin Antin must be working some special kind of Hollywood mojo because you could not buy better exposure than what her group — which is conveniently on tour now — is getting with this series. But I digress.

Five minutes after hating the show I’m back to not only liking it again, I’m trying to figure out the dance moves. I think I’ve got the teasy butt-push-turn thing down, but that peek-a-boo spread step still alludes me. Who can squat damn near to the floor, open their legs, and snap them shut on beat, all while wearing two-inch heels? I mean, really.

Clearly, I’m in like-it mode when the "Dolls" are performing or learning the dance steps (don’t get me started on choreographer Mikey Minden and his “If I Had Boobs” self). But then Mark McGrath introduces Lil’ Kim as “one of the most successful female performers in music history” (why must he exaggerate her credits like that?), or the judges play yet another mind game on the girls, and flip the switch, I’m pissed again.

Granted, my hot-cold, wishy-washiness is nowhere near the shrink-approved definition of bipolar. And I’m not trying to make light of the unfortunate souls who suffer from that very real affliction. But you know what I mean. This show’s got me tripping — in a nonpositive way. And I’m not the only one having mixed feelings. This weekend my boyfriend Z (name deleted to keep him from having to wear a “I’m with Crazy” T-shirt) was telling me how he couldn’t believe his older brother not only watches Search for the Next Doll, but was upset because they let the good dancer go. (That would be the ridiculously flexible Mariela, who was cut last week to keep Chelsea, who can sing her I-used-to-be-fat heart out.) Then yesterday Z started talking to me about this week’s episode. And no, he wasn’t watching it with his brother. Apparently, as he says, he got “sucked in” during a scene where the girls were practicing in hotpants and the camera kept zooming in on their butts. Then they started talking about body image (and no doubt how Anastacia felt like an Amazon next to Asia and the Melissa midgets), and he lost interest.

To make matters worse, one of my coworkers just caught me in the kitchen grinning at a daydream I was having that involved me performing PCD’s “Buttons.” Drats! I have gone on record talking about how this is the non-show of the season, yet I haven’t missed an episode. And now I’m thinking I’m going to cave and get their CD. See how wrong that is? Matt Roush would be so ashamed of me. Darn you, Search for the Next Doll!
Read A Chat with David and Mary from The Amazing Race
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David and Mary by Robert Voets/CBS
I love David and Mary from The Amazing Race. They just seem like genuinely good people — generous, curious, caring and all that. I like to think that if we ran into each other on the street, we could be friends. Theoretically. I know that in reality I’d swear too much for them or they’d discover that I’m just too shallow or jaded for their kindhearted goodness. Plus their kids might get on my nerves. See, there I go with the shallow already. But, wait, let me explain. I like kids. But, honestly, half the time I think OPKs — other people’s kids — are only fun when they’re doing the cute things I expect them to do and not when they’re being the independent little sentient creatures they actually are. But anyway, long story short: I talked to Mary and David again after they were eliminated from TAR: All-Stars. The truth they spoke about Charla and Mirna made me love them even more. (Really, what's with Team Li'l Bit?!) Here are some highlights from our conversation. For the rest, you'll have to see future issues of TV Guide magazine.

Who did you give your trailer home to?
Mary: We’re giving it to my sister-in-law. My brother left her years ago, when her baby was 9 months old. And me and David Jr. have helped her raise her kids, you know. To us, it would be amazing to see them grow up in a house.
David: She’s a single parent with three kids, who works five, six days a week. To not have to pay rent would really help her out.

That’s true. So have you been able to move into your new home yet?
Mary: No. But it’s all our fault. When Rosie gave it to us, we left for All-stars five days later. And we didn’t get back until five days before Christmas and we’ve had a lot of things on our plate. But hopefully this week, or within the next couple of weeks, we’ll have a piece of land bought so they can start building the house.

Did you try to make an alliance this season?
Mary: No. When we went on All-stars we made the decision that we’re not going to make an alliance. We wanted America to see us race. I didn’t want America to say so-and-so gave us this race. I wanted to prove to them that we can do it on our own.

What was the relationship between you and Charla and Mirna? Why did you get so upset when they passed you if you didn’t have an alliance?
Mary: I didn’t get upset when they passed me; that’s what was shown on TV. I was already upset before that.
David: We had gotten to the airport together and we was trying to get tickets, so, yeah, we were kind of maybe helping each other. But we didn’t have an alliance.
Mary: And this is the leg that we were given $487 for the next leg of the race and we get in the plane and they’re sitting right in front of us and I’m listening to them beg a man, literally beg him for money, saying they have no money and they’re starving to death. And the guy got in his pocket and gave them money. And I’m thinking, you’ve got almost $500 in your pocket! I just got to thinking that that’s not the kind of people I want to be hanging out with. I think they’re rude to everybody they meet, and that’s not the kind of people I want to get to know.

Did you two not ask for money when you were in transit?
Mary: No! Not at all. We had $487 in our pocket. And me and him split a meal on the airplane.
David: A lot of the other racers bought a meal and split it. But they were begging for money and begging for meals. And the way they were doing it wasn’t right.
Mary: It wasn’t American-like.

David, how did you not cut your hand on the scales when you were collecting the fish in that last episode?
David: Well, the people watching over the fish would tell us, "Do not touch their fins or tails or nothing like that."
Mary: Probably because they would cut ya.
David: Or they would fall off or I think you would tear them off and you would hurt the fish or kill the fish. But they would swim around and they were really hard to grab ahold of. Some of the small ones really wouldn’t jump as bad. It was like the medium ones would give you a lot of problems. But the really big ones, I believe they were too big to flop out of the bucket. And you didn’t know if you were getting a big one or a little one and, I mean, some of them might have weighed 15 pounds and some of them might have have weighed 3 pounds. They were all different sizes.

About how long did it take you to do that task?
Mary: I don’t know the time period. I do know that it was lightning fast. It was amazing how fast he went. But it took him forever to touch the fish at first. He was afraid to touch the fish.
David: It probably took me five or 10 minutes just to touch it. But then I ran the whole task.
Mary: As soon as he got that fish, he did not stop. He did not waste time. He carried a lot of them, and he ended up excelling at that task. It was amazing.

Cool beans. You both seemed to be a little excited about the white-water rafting. How was that for you?
David: I was a little nervous. Neither one of us wanted to climb. We did enough climbing in Season 10. So as soon as we read the clue, we knew we had to white-water raft. And I was nervous. I was excited. It was something, you know, I could say I’ve done.
Mary: Well, I wasn’t. No. Uh-huh. I’m never goin’ to put my life on the line. It ain’t worth it.

But were you ever really in danger? I mean, it is a show.
Mary: yeah. No, seriously. In my mind I was in real danger. If I would have fell in... I don’t care if somebody is in that water to save my life. No, I would have died. I really woulda.

What did it look like from your point of view?
David: It was beautiful water. Blue.
Mary: Beautiful. But it was ice-cold. You know TV can’t show you how cold that water is. It was ice-cold. But it was just like raging, raging water.
David: And all of a sudden you’d see a rock and you’d have to hurry up to try to get away from that rock. I could see somebody being afraid of it.

Mary, the last time I talked to you you said one of your New Year’s resolutions was to slim down. How much have you lost?
Mary: None. I’m sorry. I went on All-stars. And, I don’t know, I haven’t had time to get back home and relax and go back to normal.
David: Our lives are not normal yet.

When did you return home from All-stars?
Mary: Right before Christmas.
David: We got home the 21st.
Mary: And then we’ve had a lot of things going on with our new house that Rosie gave us. We got a lot of things. We had a cruise with Rosie last week and I haven’t took time for anything.

Where did you go on the cruise?
Mary: We went to...
David: San Juan.
Mary: Puerto Rico.
David: St. Thomas, St. John.
Mary: Oh, it was amazing.

What cool stuff did you do with the kids?
David: They got to meet the Cho brothers. And letting our kids meet them, to be able to reunite with them and talk without being on a race, and go to these beautiful places... that was awesome.
Mary: And it was really cool that we had one day that was a mock Amazing Race. It was really cool to see the kids really try their best to win. Plus our kids got to meet a lot of different people and lots of different kids. And, wow, they see life as a different perspective now.

So have you heard from Steven Segal yet?
Mary: No. [Laughs]
David: We’re still waiting for that phone call.
Read Things Typed While Watching the Grammys
7:59 pm/ET: Truth: I just cut short a phone call with a friend because I think maybe J.T. will open the show, and I need to be alone for that.

8:00 pm: And in comes The Police. It's a reunion. That's cool. [Sniffle-sniff] No, I'm not disappointed. That's a lie. Yes I am.

8:07 pm: Stevie Wonder and Tony Bennett just beat Timbaland and Nelly Furtado, and Wyclef and Shakira. For best pop collaboration. Have you ever heard their version of "For Once in My Life"? No? Me neither. They might as well call this the We Will Be Dead Soon Award.

8:16 pm: "Beautiful. I just want you to know you're my favorite girl." A man (Pharrell Williams) serenades a rotating bottle of Heineken. A cute bottle. This is what I'm competing against. Beer.

8:23 pm: Prince, Lionel Richie — nominated for best R&B album? Did the Academy time-warp back to 1986? Mary J. had better win.

8:33 pm: Love the green-speckled dress Fergie's wearing in the Candy's/Kohl's commercials. Why are the Grammy commercials better than the Super Bowl commercials this year?

8:33 pm: J.T.'s doing "What Goes Around," everybody quiet! I wish he'd do "My Love" or "Sexyback." Or at least get up from that piano and dance.... Wait. Wait. Here he goes... All right! But what's with the webcam-ish thing? Is this supposed to give me an idea of what it would be like to video-IM him?

9:08 pm: Thirty-four-year-old Wyclef can still do a back handspring, yet Shakira's dancers are a little stiff. There's something off about that. You need to work it, ladies, this is the Grammys. Unless you've been asked to tone it down so as not so show her up.

Whoa. Wait. I just lost track of time because I replayed the Shakira-Wyclef performance. (I'm loving my Divo!) Did whatshisname just hit Seal up for work?

Again, Mary J's taking us to church.

Who is the guy who is sitting next to Jamie Foxx texting? I mean really.

9:50 pm: I just came back from the kitchen and tried to fast-forward through Carrie Underwood. What do you mean I can't skip through live television? (Don't make me stop loving you, Divo!) Pardon me, it's not that I hate country music. I just don't care.

10:04 pm: I do believe the woman in the Nicoderm commercial is one-half of the crazy-sibling set from the second season of the It Factor. Sara Rivas, I think her name is.

10:11 pm: I am taking a good look at your face, Smokey. Does it hurt to blink?

10:15 pm: I love a good pop show. So much so that I don't even care that Chris Brown is dancing so hard that the boy can barely sing his own song — on the Grammys. (Where it's supposed to be about the music. Hello!) I'm just glad he's not faking it by lip-synching.

10:33 pm: One of James Brown's hype men places the late great's cape over the microphone. [Sound of me standing and applauding] Now that's how you say goodbye to the Godfather of Soul!

10:42 pm: Are they kidding me with the "Runaway Love" girls lining up holding candles? It's a message song. We get it.

10:54 pm: Robyn Troup won a Grammy moment with Justin Timberlake. Clearly she is not learning this for the first time, right now, as the lucky hussy is already wearing those earplug things singers wear. Still, talk about a dream come true. I will now not-so silently envy her on behalf of teen singers everywhere.

11:00 pm: Ah, J.T. I've seen what I wanted. I'm done now.
Read The Reason I Dissed Grey's
No, it has nothing to do with Isaiah Washington who has so royally screwed himself that I can't even talk about it.

This has to do with The Game.

What?

Here's the deal: I love word games. One game in particular. I'm not going to name it here because, well, since I bought this computer, I've been playing said game with other people almost non-stop in a free foreign web site.

The first night I logged in, I won several times in a row. Then I lost a few times. Then I won again. My player rating rose and dropped. It was so exciting.

The problem?

Now I. Can't. Stop.

I've lost sleep, skipped the gym and missed Grey's all for this game. And I love Grey's anatomy! Last week's episode about the check was so satisfyingly good I started a girl-you-are-the-bomb-diggety letter to Shonda Rhimes. Yet this week, I missed the show, playing The Game. I figured I'd play for an hour —until I won or until Grey's started. Next thing you know it was midnight. And I still hadn't dropped a bingo to save my ass. (People who get that bingo reference know The Game I'm talking about.)

Earlier this week I didn't answer a call from a real, live single male who might be interested in me because I just knew i was about to win. Three hours later....I still hadn't won and it was too late to call him back which meant that I'd blown my chance for the all-important Friday night date. Scary thing is, I didn't mind because I knew i could go home and play this evil, evil game. Last night I played a lady in Australia well into the wee hours. She kept challenging my real-but-not-recognized- by-the-stupid-tournament-rules words and whenever I challenged her I was wrong and I lost a turn which increased her lead. It's Saturday now. I've been up since 7:30 a.m. playing. And I am NOT a morning person.

Help! I'm an addict chasing the next win. Only it's not coming. My rating has dropped from 554 to 421 as I've lost ten games in a row. Ten games! How can that be?! I am damn good at this game. But these people are better or luckier or something.

I know this isn't TV-related. Sorry. But I had to do something to stop. And, if I'm writing about The Game then I'm not playing it. Although it is still up in the background and I can see players "seeking" partners. And that call, a slight beep, a song of chance if you will is so enticing....
Read Why does the third Dreamgirl get no love?
Happy freaking New Year!

Watch out now. I've got a new computer — a cute little MacBook that allows me to access this website (any website!) from my home. It cost a pretty penny, and it didn't even come with a free iPod Shuffle. (Steve Jobs should be ashamed!) But it was time. I was becoming a bit of a technophobe. (Although, I am still a little freaked out by this whole wi-fi business; it's very Star Trek that I'm logged onto the Internet right now using a neighbor's hookup. Is this like stealing cable? (Which I don't do. I swear.)

But let me get to my real reason for writing. I saw Dreamgirls last week. And I'm not going to say it was phenomenal. But it was good. As was the third Dreamgirl Anika Noni Rose. But, from the movie's all-Jennifer-Hudson/Beyoncé-all-the-time press, you'd think Anika was a nobody who was in the film for only a hot second. But she's got a substantial role with beaucoup lines. I mean, please. Girlfriend gets solos, and she can blow. So why are they treating her like the ugly stepsister? I looked her up. Anika is a Tony Award-winning Broadway star. Her publicist must suck.
Read The Real Deal With TAR's Pete and Sarah
OK, so now that I’m back from China (see how I worked my fabulous trip in there?) I’m talking to the Amazing Race 10 couples again. Usually it’s one of the highlights of my week because I love getting the real deal on the on and off-camera drama. But this week I was not looking forward to interviewing the booted team. Why? Because Peter got on my last nerve. The way the show was edited he seemed perfectly content to let Sarah—hi, the woman with the prosthetic leg—do all the hard work. Yes, Sarah’s a buff, Iron Woman triathlete, fully capable of doing all things. But still, when she struggled through the rock-climbing task in Vietnam while Peter seemingly sat on the boat chillin’, I lost respect for him. And the only question that came to my mind was “How much does Peter weigh, Sarah? ‘Cause you carried that man though this race!” Because I have a little tact, I didn’t ask that question. But here’s what I did ask.

TV Guide.com:Whose idea was it for you two to do the race together?

Sarah: It was my idea. We were in Hawaii in September of ’05. We had flown over to train together for a week for the Hawaii Ironman. And I was just talking about The Amazing Race and I thought he’d be just the perfect partner.

TV Guide.com: Peter were you game right away?

Peter: Oh, absolutely.

TV Guide.com: Okay. Why didn’t you do some of the harder challenges? Sarah climbed The Great Wall. Sarah did the rock climbing and the ladder on the tower.

Peter: Well, each team player can only do six or seven challenges…and so what we would do is we would read the clue and then Sarah would decide if she wanted to do that task. Sarah doesn’t have a strong stomach. [So in Beijing] I had to eat the fish eyes. Balance on the bike is a huge issue for Sarah so when the clue said “Who’s ready to pedal?”….

Sarah: Now, mind you, there’s only a one-sentence clue. And it doesn’t really indicate what is involved. So, for example, the one in Vietnam where I climbed the wall says, “Who has strong arms and legs?” And I’m thinking it’s going to be a swimming challenge so I say “I do.”. Well, it’s not until you get on the boat and they take you out to this mysterious location that you realize it’s a big climb.

TV Guide.com: Still, in Vietnam, the clue said legs, plural, and because Peter’s a taller man, I thought he’d be like, “Okay, how about I take this one?”

Peter: Our whole thought process was ‘We are going to win this thing!” and that we were going to be there at the end. So we had to be a little smarter on letting Sarah take some at the beginning because if I would have done the first five challenges, Sarah had to do all the rest. What if we came across something that she absolutely couldn’t do? We were done. So we realized that these climbing tasks were going to be difficult for her but we knew she could complete them.

TV Guide.com: Ah, so you were looking at the end game?

Peter: We were looking long term. We really believed we were going to win and that if we didn’t win it would be because of what happened: We got bad directions.

Sarah: Yeah, some of the game comes down to luck. If you get a bad taxi driver, bad directions, or a car breaks down. There are things that are out of control no matter how strong your game is.

TV Guide.com: On a scale of 1 to 10 how surprised were you when you finished last?

Peter: Ten. I was shocked.

TV Guide.com: I’m surprised you were shocked because you verbally gave up several times.

Peter: I never quit. We won two. We finished first in the Forbidden City, we finished second and third. That’s not giving up. That’s firing yourself up and motivating yourself as a top athlete, as a top competitor.

TV Guide.com: So when you were saying “I don’t want to do this anymore,” you meant, “I wanna do this again and again.”

Peter: And I want to hurt myself more and more. As I’m saying, “I’m giving up,” I’m rowing harder and harder. I rowed past the Cho brothers, past James and Tyler, and we finish second. So, I challenge anyone to look at the results. Did we ever give up? We ran through the race. We were the leaders. We didn’t walk. We didn’t align with anybody. We didn’t need anybody.

TV Guide.com: Well you did try to align with The Beauty Queens.

Peter: Only once to work on getting a phone. And you know what, we probably would have aligned with The Barbies for one reason: They’re the smartest, most competitive team out there—besides us.

TV Guide.com: Really?

Peter: Absolutely. They’re aggressive. They’re sneaky and they were there to win.

TV Guide.com: Who do you think was the luckiest?

Peter: Kentucky. By far.

TV Guide.com: Who was your least favorite?

Sarah: There’s only one individual that I didn’t really enjoy and I liked her teammate. But the one I didn’t like was Karlyn.

TV Guide.com: Why?

Sarah: She had a chip on her shoulder. She was the kind of person where at the end of a long day, you’d hit the pit stop and you’d say, “Nice work” and she wouldn’t even acknowledge you. And then just watching her comments on the race and putting me down for playing the disabled card when she plays the race card. We play the cards that we are dealt. It’s a game.

TV Guide.com: Remind me of when she played the race card because I don’t remember it.

Sarah: Things happen on that race that we see that may not make the air so I’m just going to be vague on that.

Peter: One thing that shows Karlyn’s true character is when Dustin stepped into the boat and cut her leg and ended up needing eight stitches because she was bleeding everywhere, Karlyn said, “Good, she deserves to bleed.” You don’t ever want to see anyone get hurt. I mean that was something permanent that Dustin has been scarred with. But Karlyn was notorious for being malicious. And I don’t think she’s a role model for her own kid.

TV Guide.com: From what I saw on the show, it looked like the Beauty Queens had stolen Karlyn’s boat—literally hopped in front of them—and that’s why she said that. She was mad.

Peter:There’s a situation in Kuwait where Karlyn kept shoving Dustin away from the gentleman trying to get directions. It’s the same thing. She bumped her. They bumped them. But nobody was physically harmed. There’s a huge difference when somebody’s physically hurt and you laugh about it. That’s wrong.

TV Guide.com: Point taken. What are some examples of things you wished CBS had shown you doing but didn’t?

Peter: I wished they would have showed me standing and cheering for Sarah when she’s climbing up the cliff instead of sitting back drinking a coke on the boat because I was out there a long time cheering for everybody. I love CBS butI laid down in the shade right next to everybody else. Everybody’s sitting on their boats cheering, but they show me!

TV Guide.com: What about you Sarah? Were there things you’d wish had not shown?

Sarah: Umm… I don’t feel like there’s anything that I wish they hadn’t shown because I guess I presumed everything’s fair game. One of the things that comes to mind for me that sometimes I’d wish they had shown how hard it is. When we were in Vietnam we had to sleep on the hard tile ground with cockroaches. We spent the night in an airport in India and had to sleep on the ground too and it’s those sorts of things that make you tired and worn down. It doesn’t make interesting television, so I don’t think that’s why it made air…

TV Guide.com: Maybe you should have screamed when one crawled on you. How big were they?

Sarah:They were definitely bigger than the ones in my Brooklyn apartment.

TV Guide.com: Slightly off-topic, how long had you been dating before the show started?

Sarah: Peter and I have sort of had an on-again off-again thing for a while, but we used to work at the same company up until about January. And at the time I was in the process of breaking up with a man that had been living with me. And Peter was getting out of a relationship as well, so we had picked up shortly thereafter.

Peter: And then we went on the race. So, a very short time.

TV Guide.com: Peter, how did you feel when Sarah told Phil you’re not nurturing or caring?

Peter: I will never be nurturing or caring when I’m trying to win a million dollars. It’s just not going to happen. Sarah had every right to say that at the time because I wasn’t there cuddling or holding hands. It was a race. I’m competitive.

TV Guide.com: After you saw the show were any apologies given?

Peter: Well I would say the one apology that I have… is that I didn’t communicate better. But at the time I was going through a recently-broken relationship. My mind shut down.

TV Guide.com: Wait, if you were coming out of a break-up. Were you all really together or was that just a ploy to get on the show?

Peter: She had broken up in January and I had broken up since March, but what happens when you’re tired and your mind’s broken down? You dwell on the past. You dwell on mistakes that you’ve made and so sometimes I would end up blaming Sarah for problems I had in my previous relationship. And I think I failed at that part.

TV Guide.com: At times watching you two was sort of like watching the evolution of a break-up. At what point did you say, “We might need to spend some time apart?”

Sarah: I think for me, the point where I was kind of like, “Huh, I don’t really know if I like Peter’s behavior towards me” was in Mongolia.

TV Guide.com: That was pretty early on.

Sarah: It was. But there wasn’t one moment where things just fell apart. Mongolia kinda felt like, “eh.” And then you go to another city and you kind of go, “eh”. It just sort of builds. But I would do it again in a heartbeat. The Race is the hardest thing we’ve ever done. And we’re Ironman athletes.
Read An Interview with Amazing Race 10's First Losers
It sucks to be first, but somebody has to go. A couple of weeks ago I caught up with the first two teams expelled from The Amazing Race 10 — one of whom shockingly didn't even get to stay in the race for an entire leg. Read what they had to say, then go to the Features
Read An Interview with Amazing Race 10's First Losing Teams
It sucks to be first, but somebody has to go. A couple of weeks ago I caught up with the first two teams expelled from The Amazing Race 10 — one of whom shockingly didn't even get to stay in the race for an entire leg. Read what they had to say, then go to the Features & Interviews section to find out how the Cheerleaders handled their big AR10 loss.

First up: The "Muslim Team" of Bilal Abdul Mani and Sa'eed Rudolph, two best friends from Cleveland, Ohio.

TVGuide.com: Sucks to be you; you were the last team to make it to the meeting point in the Forbidden City, and, in a surprising new twist, you were kicked out before the first leg was even over. How long did you get to stay in China?
Bilal: From the time we got into China to that semi-pit stop was only three hours. It was quick, and that's why it caught everyone by surprise.

TVGuide.com: Bummer. Well, let's back up: What was it like to see Seattle by seaplane?
Sa'eed: It was dramatic and quite beautiful to see it from that angle.
Bilal: We got on the seaplanes in downtown Seattle. It was rainy, it was chilly... typical Seattle weather, from what the locals say.

TVGuide.com: Before you left for Beijing, you told a TV Guide reporter that your plan was to stay in the pack, watch and let other people make mistakes. What happened? How did you go from being first to last?
Bilal: Well, to be quite frank, it's absolutely ridiculously insane that a cabdriver that is from China and reads Chinese has absolutely no clue where "Woo Men" is — it was written in Chinese and it means the Forbidden City.
Sa'eed: It's like a taxicab driver living and working in Cleveland asking "Where is the Terminal Tower?" [Our driver] got out and asked three people, "Where is the Forbidden City?" and they gave us directions that [had us driving] around the Forbidden City for 10 minutes at least.
Bilal: The guy was either A) drunk, B) couldn't read or C) just nervous about the bearded guys in the backseat. The guy was clueless and he needs to be banned from driving a taxi forever and ever.
Sa'eed: [Laughing] We have been bamboozled! We have been hoodwinked! It's crazy!

TVGuide.com: At least you weren't eliminated in Seattle. Did you get to spend a few extra days in Beijing to look around?
Bilal: Actually, we did. We were there for maybe a day or so, and then CBS took us to our next location.

TVGuide.com: Man, so you were in China less time than it took you to get to China.
Bilal: Correct. But you don't have to say it like that!

TVGuide.com: [Laughing] Well, I mean, you know....
Sa'eed: It wasn't exactly enough time to take in one of the wonders of the world, but yes that was how quick it was.

TVGuide.com: Were you all raised Muslim or did you convert as adults?
Sa'eed: I was Christian before and converted to Islam in the year 2000.
Bilal: I was born and raised Muslim in Cleveland. Most of my family are Baptist and Christian. It's kinda ironic now because with maybe 12 cousins and 11 aunts, four of my aunts and four cousins are now Muslim. But back in the day, growing up, we were like the black sheep of the family.

TVGuide.com: In the airport, they showed one of you saying, "I don't shake hands because of my religion." What do you mean by that?
Bilal: They were like, "We wanted to hug you guys" and so on and so forth. But our religion does not encourage the mixing of men and women — hugging, kissing and things like that — unless they're family members. And I wanted to be a good representative of Islam. But they understood. If my faith did allow it, I would have been hugging all over.

TVGuide.com: What was the best part of your short time in the race?
Bilal: To be honest, seeing a lot of poverty in China and [realizing] how fortunate my family is…we're very, very blessed. Seeing China for what it is was an outstanding opportunity for self-examination. I've started to write a book titled, "Slave Desire to Serve His Master." I'm about 160 pages in. And it's about my experience on The Race and looking at different people and different things.

TVGuide.com: But you were on The Race for three days tops. How are you getting a book out of that?
Bilal: If a lot is in your mind and a lot is in your heart, and you see a lot… and a lot of it has to do with my childhood. I incorporated that into the race and the different teams that participated.

TVGuide.com: What about you, Sa'eed?
Sa'eed: For me, the best part was traveling and meeting all the different people along the way. It affected me in a positive way that [I didn't expect]. It opened my eyes to a few things.

Next up: The "Indian Couple" — aka newlyweds Vipul and Arti Patel.

TVGuide.com: What made you all decide to do The Amazing Race?
Vipul: I've been a big fan of the show since before I even started dating Arti. Basically, I fell in love with the show, and after I fell in love with her I made her fall in love with it, too.

TVGuide.com: In Seattle, you told a TV Guide reporter you studied maps to prepare for the race.
Vipul: Yeah, a little bit. We went and checked out local maps, just to make sure we understood other countries' symbols and stuff like that.

TVGuide.com: Yet you still got lost.
Vipul: Actually, we had limited funds and never had the opportunity to get a map, even if we wanted to! Out of all the teams, only one had a map and it was given to them by a traveler on the plane to Beijing.

TVGuide.com: So you literally went running out of the airport and just hopped into a cab, no stopping?
Vipul: Exactly. We knew we were in the back of the pack so we got a lot of info from people who spoke Chinese about what to tell the cabdriver. We found the Golden House restaurant very quickly. The first night wasn't a problem. It was the second night that did us in.

TVGuide.com: Arti, you rode in the sidecar in Beijing. How scary was the traffic?
Arti: Traffic was insane. People in Beijing drive crazy. I was hoping I wouldn't get knocked by a car or a pedestrian or anything like that. I also thought I was going to fall out [of the sidecar] because my backpack didn't fit in the cart and I had to move all the way to the front. But I only thought about that for like a split second — I was so excited.

TVGuide.com: How long were you guys actually lost?
Vipul: You mean just before we got to the Great Wall?

TVGuide.com: Yeah.
Vipul: Technically we weren't sure if we were lost or not because the cabdriver didn't speak English. When we convinced him to take us to the Great Wall, first he said no and then he said yes, and we jumped in the cab. But on our way we decided to ask how much it would be. When he told us 700 Chinese yuan [about $90] and we only had 350 [$45], we figured he's either ripping us off, or he's going to another point of
the Great Wall. So we decided to pull over and find a person to translate. They told us that you are going in the right direction, the cabdriver is charging you double because he needs fare to get back to where he was. Obviously other teams didn't have that problem. It was just one of those unfortunate incidents. But by the time we figured all that out and got another cab, about 45 minutes had passed. That was our undoing.

TVGuide.com: Sketchy!
Vipul: Well, it's unfortunate. But we have no regrets, because everybody tells us bad breaks like that happen.

TVGuide.com: And, honestly, you got eliminated in China. You could have been on the Family Edition and gotten eliminated in Toledo.
Vipul: It was a great experience. I mean, we saw one of the Wonders of the World.
Arti: And we got a chance to [literally] climb the Great Wall. I don't think a lot of people can say that.

TVGuide.com: What was that like? Why couldn't you just hold on to the rope and walk up the wall? Screw that rope ladder.
Vipul: Everybody tried that. But if you use only your upper body to hold you up, it's very difficult. The trick was using the loop and then using it like a ladder, stepping up on each one. The Cheerleaders did it very quickly because they're small and very athletic.

TVGuide.com: How long did it take you to get up the wall?
Vipul: Probably about 15 minutes total. The producers and the cameramen told us we were among the fastest teams.
Arti: Initially it was hard, I was looking up that wall and I was like, "I don't know if I can do this." But then once I got up there I was like, "I have to do this.... This is something I'm going to overcome."
Vipul: And actually Arti did it faster than I did.

TVGuide.com: So what was the best part of the trip for you?
Vipul: Just being at the starting line and seeing Phil raise his hand, drop it down and say, "Go!"
Arti: We just looked at each other and said, "Oh my god, this is it!"
Vipul: If they would have stopped us and said, "Sorry, we made a mistake, you can't continue on," that would have been fine by us, because just being one of the 12 teams was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Arti: To be the first Indian couple on any [American] reality show — that's something to boast about as well. A lot of people in our community are just proud of us for being on the show and having the courage to overcome our fears.

TVGuide.com: What was the best thing you did in China after you got kicked off The Race?
Vipul: We went to the Forbidden City during the day. And were able to see how beautiful and extravagant that place is.

TVGuide.com: Did you get a VIP tour?
Vipul: No, we were just regular tourists and we made up our minds that we want to go back there in two years for the summer Beijing Olympics.
-- Rochell D. Thomas
Read A Little Unnecessary Nudeness
Normally I applaud the authenticity of HBO?s The Wire. Clearly, that show?s writers do their homework. But when Herc walked in on Mayor Royce and his chicken-heading assistant at the start of last week?s episode there was a graphic, split-second flash of what I can only hope was faux frontal nudity. It was a naughty bit. And it was totally uncalled for.

But this is HBO. So, you know, I was willing to let it go.

But then last night, they did it again. At the beginning of the episode, Omar climbs out of bed buck naked to go investigate a loud noise. The killer dope-dealer supreme goes to the window, looks out then turns to face the camera and ? Hello Baltimore! ? there?s Lil Omar. Compared to last week?s sex act, Omar?s frontal flash was fairly innocent. But still, this is the second week in a row they've started off with a not-so-wee-wee peep show and I?m starting to wonder if The Wire folks think they have to shock us into paying attention. 'Cause that?s not true, guys. I would watch even if you didn?t show which way Lil Omar sways. Heck, I watch in spite of it. Maybe I?m turning into a prude. But seeing the mayor and Omar's business was just a full-on case of Unnecessary Nudeness. Not nudity, people. But nudeness.
Read Would You Pay $3,000 for a Project Runway Dress?
The cocktail dress Laura made on last night's Project Runway is already up to $760 on the Seen On! auction site www.seenon.com. Considering someone paid $1,705 for the "recycled trash" dress the yuppie Manhattanite made out of a discarded peanut sack earlier this season, plus the fact that there are still six days left before the latest auction closes, you know Laura's cocktail thingy will go for well over $2,000 if not $3,000. And that fact makes my head hurt a little.

While I'm talking about Project Runway sales, someone named LindaJeanne paid $1,455 for Angela's little number from Episode 4, and Kara dropped $1,900 for Kayne's formal gown from last week's Paris episode. Now I won't front: They're all darling creations; Laura's cocktail gown was especially cute. And the proceeds do go to a good cause (an organization called Dress for Success). But dang. Do people just have money to burn? I mean, really. Why else would you spend $2,000 for something you know without a doubt was made for $100 or less? (I think the designers got to spend a whopping $300 for the ballroom gowns they made in Paris.) Somebody please explain this to me: What's the thinking behind this purchase? Do people so want to own a piece of something almost famous that they'll buy a rush-job dress they know was made in one day? Will they actually wear their Project Runway outfits? Maybe they're hoping these items will become collectibles? Or is this what true fashionistas do and I just don't understand it because I own only a few things that didn't come from The LB (that's fat-girl code for Lane Bryant)? If you've ever purchased something made on Project Runway, please, please, please drop me a few lines; I would love to talk. Or, better yet, send me a photo of you wearing said item.
Read Wouldn't Bones' New Boss Have Known Basic Forensics?
You know, stuff like, whether a body was dead or alive when it was burned.

Let me explain.

When Dr. Brennan returns from visiting her newfound brother in North Carolina, she finds that her boss has hired a decidedly more people-friendly head of forensics, Dr. Camille Something-or-other. The woman, like Bones, is one of the forensics greats. (She was the chief coroner of New York before taking the job at the Jeffersonian.) But when Bones’ assistant Zach does that thing TV forensic folks tend to do when they start to list a bunch of symptoms that will lead them to a shocking conclusion, Cam doesn’t follow:

"Jagged edges to the breaks. Small fragments. Lack of circular or radiating fracture...," Zach says, going on and on.

"What does that mean?" Cam asks.

"That this man was dead for several hours before the train hit him," Bones answers.

Um, this may be a small thing, but shouldn’t new super-expert Cam have known that?
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