[-]Is it just me or do you also find it rediculious that the boyfriend of Palin's daughter Bristol is now on the scene? If the Republicans really want to keep this a private household matter then they should do so. Why prove & what, really? what are they saying?? talk about confused message from the Republicans. Seems they feel they are in quite a mess
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Isn't it obvious? The situation is now out there, so they'll all do whatever they have to in order to satisfy the public and achieve some type of temporary closure to this particular situation. That's the only way to deal with something questionable. Sarah Palin will come through this with flying colors and proceed to beat the pants off the opposition. She's a great speaker and will do well in the debates.
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it should have been revealed,with the Downs news, from the beginning. Really, if we're talking privacy here... why did she feel it necessary to reveal she had a baby with Downs? She has 5 children, I would have believed her anyway had she said they believe in Pro-Life - once again, she did not have to Prove anything with her personal tough life story.
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[-]It's 10:41 pm, and my oldest child (8 yo dd) is still awake. This has been going on for the last 4 nights. She thinks she's going to die in her sleep, or something bad will happen, or her mind is dizzy (her description). She can keep herself up for hours with this stuff. 2.5 hours ago, I was patient, gentle, understanding mom. Now I'm really at my wits end about how to help her. And truth be told, I just want a break. Ideas?
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]your kid has anxiety, and she needs to feel safe. if it continues, seek help. for now, try distracting her and letting her listen to music. ask her what she needs to go to bed.
[ Reply | Options ]yes, i'm sure anxiety is a factor her. she's a highly anxious person in general. i've tried distraction, singing, letting her read. she has no idea what will help her sleep, and says she doesn't want to sleep. i've got a family history of mental illness (bipolar, paranoide schizophrenia) in my birth family (not me), so i really worry about sleep issues.
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I was extremely anxious growing up and finally now have controleld it. Try relaxation techniques: breathing in thru nose out thru mouth. Try and chunk out the day and find out what it is that's bothering her. Then figure out a plan to get her in control of it. Could be a bully at school or who to eat lunch with and it's affecting her sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: We've tried breathing techniques (breath like the ocean, the water goes out and in, etc). I've tried nighttime visualization, meditative tapes, etc, but her problems were less pronounced than they've been lately. Maybe it's worth another try. She isn't really able to sustain any relaxation techniques on her own, and I get really irritable when I have to sit with her for prolonged periods. She isn't in school yet, not til Monday (God help me!).
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Alphabet of nice things. Just go through the alphabet with her, letter by letter, and think of a Nice Thing for each letter. This sometimes works with my son, who gets very antsy at bedtime. And it works for me. I'm always afraid of dying in my sleep. YOu can also tell her what my mother used to say: "you're not going to die. You're going to live and suffer like everyone else." Haha. She was just kidding.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: Wow. That's something I never thought of. That's a brilliant idea for her. She loves to read and think about language, and she would love it. She's happily cleaning her desk now, and insists that she's not feeling any sleepier. Should I worry? I almost want her to stop b/c I feel like the activity is just keeping her wakeful. Where do you think the fear of dying in sleep comes from? Aside from the alphabet idea, what else helps you let go into sleep?
[ Reply | Options ]I'm glad you saw it... oh, i don't know... I used to be very afraid my mother was going to die. I think it's a more complex form of fear of the dark. Which deep down a lot of people are. These days, I have two things I think of that are very relaxing: My husband and I are dropping off both DS's for sleepaway camp AT THE SAME TIME! Bye, DS#1! Bye, DS#2! then I imagine driving to some pleasurable bed and breakfast for lots of sleeping late and movies with DH and dinners and massages. In the other one, I'm buying a beach house and looking at all the rooms and enjoying the sunlight. Oh, and I have a third one where I'm sitting in a really, really comfortable easy chair in front of a fireplace with tons of fun stuff to read and NO obligations! G...
[ Reply | Options ]Did you figure out these calming scenarios (which I share, especially the reading one) at night or during the day? I ask b/c I think it would be great to help dd find some soothing thought or image, but nothing I suggest works at night. What did your parents do when you had this fear during childhood?
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[-]Makeup b-day party for 9yr old .. my daughter asked to do a small makeup party for her and 3 girlfriends.... any ideas where in Manhattan i can get this accomplished? should i call a Sephora? ask a make-up counter at Saks to accommodate 4 girls -and make some purchases -? Have also heard about Dashing Diva salons.. but not sure they do much more than mani/pedi... Any other suggestions?
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Oh Come on...a mani/pedi party would be adequate; wouldn't it. Maybe make some goody bags w/Rosebud salve or some clear lip gloss, emery boards, foot&hand creams, body lotion,powder puffs and dusting powder? The makeup thing will jump up and bite you on the bottom; they're 9-not 3; this is not harmless and crunchiness is neither here nor there, on this one.
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[-]Blatant brag alert: I am so proud of dd. She has grown into a young lady, who loves school and isn't afraid to challenge herself academically. On her first day back at school, she requested (and was granted) a change from a study-hall elective to a privacy law class made up of juniors and seniors even though she's only a sophomore. you go, girl
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What motivates her? Are you a deeply involved mom or is she independently motivated? Not judging, trying to find how I want to motivate my dd because I don't agree with the way my mom tried to motivate me.
[ Reply | Options ]she's very self-motivated. I'm really not much involved in her day-to-day school doings, but I try to stay involved through the PTA. We've always expected her to do her best, but never really pushed her. And we've supported her (with tutors, etc) when she was struggling. And she did go through a period of about 3 years that were very challenging. I think the key thing, though, is that she's had great teachers all along who have encouraged of love of learning.
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Nagging, always comparing me to other people's kids, never seeming to be proud of what I was doing (although I know that she was), because whe wanted me to do more. I'm a good person, kind, compassionate, the kind of person I think she wanted me to be, but I think she held me back by pushing so hard...does that even make sense?
[ Reply | Options ]> For example, once I went away to college, I went CRAZY. I think if I had had freedom more when I was younger, I could have handled college freedom a little better. I partied, skipped class (never missed a class in hs..), and basically did whatever I wanted because I was out from under her thumb. Today I regret not focusing more on academics.
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[-]How is Bluefly customer service? Have a credit (and an email from Bluefly reminding me that I have the credit), but it's not showing up as I check out. Customer service is closed right now -- won't be able to call until tomorrow PM (and what if the sweater is gone?!). Should I just order it and then call or will they not apply it?
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I just asked my friend this who works at bluefly - here was her response: "if she goes into my account and it says she has credit - this credit will (should) be applied to the purchse once she goes through checkout - and customer service is great and should be able to fix it tomorrow if there are problems at checkout"
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[-]First DC is due this Dec 24. We celebrate Christian holidays. Do you think it will be best to deliver the week before Christmas, the week between Christmas and New Years or the week after New Years?
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if you end up having a choice, I think either before Christmas or after New Years is best. But esp with your first, you probably won't get to decide. Signed, mom of a Dec 29 baby.
[ Reply | Options ]You may not have a choice. But if you do, I would deliver before Christmas or between Christmas and New Years. Go for 2008 for the tax break. The week between Christmas and New Years will be tight for medical support if you have complications.
[ Reply | Options ]was thinking this too... re medical support. actually, the full three weeks prob not the best for med support. but, this is the date given. looking at the calendar would be great to deliver the week before - people are not likely to take holiday until the weekend starting the 18th...
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I am an architect / artist / designer and thinking about providing art classes for kids. I would provide them to approx 5 - 7 kids at a time and in a location such as after school or preferably someone's home. Do you think there is a market for this? How should I advertise?
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[-]Need to buy a 7 year old boy birthday gift. He loves Legos and legos star wars, but have practically all the sets. Would like to buy something around $30-$40?
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Register him in the Jr. First Lego League - URL: http://www.firstlegoleague.org/default.aspx?pid=18130
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[-]If your child is in Middle School what kind of acitivites do you do with your child. Do you supplement or tutor at home, and if you do, what do you use??
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[-]do you have an obsession or are you addicted to something? (could be anything) sorry for spelling, not american
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[-]parents with september/october kids... how old will your dc be when they start kindergarten? if i wait until dd is 5 (almost 6), is this considered "cheating"??
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]my ds is a november birthday in a school that has a december cut off. so he'll be 4yo (almost 5yo) when his kindergarten year starts. i know a lot of parents now are very into holding back and my good friend claims that every educator she spoke to recommended it for kids near the cutoff. i'm not sure why teachers would be recommending this (except that their job is easier if they are getting older kids.) i don't know of any teachers of older kids who are saying it makes a difference later on.
[ Reply | Options ]my dd is sept 16, i guess i just feel like there are going to be so many years ahead of her where she'll be having to deal with testing, etc, that waiting an extra year to start kindergarten will give her one more year to stay in a play based environment. maybe i'm oversimplifying it though...
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late Sept. ds - school (NY burbs) suggested he repeat K - best decision made - he's adjusted great - no longer too young for the class
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[-]hmm... this is my first time back here in over 6 months. (kicked the habit, not sure exactly why i came back.) where is everyone? the posts seem to move so much slower than they used to!
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[-]anyone out there who regularly buys used clothing (in good condition) for their kids? how old are your kids? (did they get to an age where they hated this concept?)
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[-]I need advice. I'd like to get my teen dd tested for mild Asperger's but I'm leery of giving her a label. I recently acquired a fine physician practice for her which deals in adolescent medicine but if dd is tested and found that she has Asperger's, I know it could mean years of expensive psychotherapy which may not, in the end, help her, especially if the condition is mild and chronic. I want to know the truth but I'm nervous about it. And I don't want my dd to think I THINK anything's wrong with her - she'd freak out.
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She goes to a small private girls' school where she stands out a little bit. She's never seemed to be on the same wavelength as other teen girls - always a tad odd, or off, or just not "getting it". I've noticed this when visiting at camp, and also at religious school, and in sports. Everyone else seems to have friends - sure, kids alter like the wind, but there is basic social involvement. Mine is stamped as weird, different, geeky, nerdy, highly academic (all A's). Mine seems socially immature in every group setting. Is there a book I can read before jumping into cognitive behavior therapy or psychology counseling for her? I don't want to jump in without assessing other options. I know how important good social communication is in...
[ Reply | Options ]^^^ What I'm trying to describe is mild, or slight differences but noticeable differences among her peers - I see the averted looks and guarded expressions when she comes around. The other girls at school know better than to shun her - she's allowed to sit at a table at lunch (even though crueler types will pointedly move) but she's never more than tolerated by her peers. Everyone is forced to work in groups during a school year and she manages when the activity or lab is structured but she's no one's first choice for a partner and sees no one from school after hours. She participates in group activities, like sports or religious school but only during the actual hours. I can barely find kids who accept birthday party invitations no mat...
[ Reply | Options ]^^^ how great the event or restaurant is. She's attractive, thin and adults find her charming, sweet, reliable, steady, and polite. It's very frustrating. Sorry for the length of this but I didn't want to give the impression that she was crazy at school because she isn't at all - very quiet.
[ Reply | Options ]Don't be so quick to assume she has a mental problem. Being socially awkward in high school is normal. Brand her with a label and you will do lifelong damage. I am sure that she already feels self-conscious about not being part of the popular clique--taking her to doctors because of it will just make things worse.
[ Reply | Options ]Is it frustrating for you, or for her? Is she happy? Everything you describe seems to indicate you are not happy with her life, not that she is in any way unhappy.
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She's 15. I know she's lonely. Probably I feel her situation more than she does, but I'm also uneasy because I'd like to make things better and can't - not in this situation. I'd like her to go from social slow death at school and passing toleration to more social success. I don't want her to leave high school without a single close friend although many go through this and find a circle of friends in college. I had one close best friend growing up with whom I did everything. Without her, I would have been very lonely. And good or superior communication skills influence what and how we do things throughout life. What's going to happen if a boy decides to pay attention to her and she's so thrilled to be noticed by ANYONE that she'll m...
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what does she do for fun? any team type activities or acting or something where she has to interact? Not everyone can be in the popular clique -- some of us were in the geek squad and turn out ok!
[ Reply | Options ]i wonder if there is something like toastmasters for teens? it would be a good idea if there is such a thing. hmmm maybe i will start that if i get laid off this year.
[ Reply | Options ]She participates on sports teams outside of school, goes to sleepaway camp each summer, works hard, very malleable, easygoing, just wants to be included and accepted. Two years ago, it was obvious that the group she'd been around since third grade was pushing her out and inviting someone else in her place. Afterschool dates became nonexistent, no one wrote to her at camp (and after some tries with no response she stopped), no invitations to go anywhere after school and before afternoon activities - you get the picture. Girls do this so well. It's subtle. It's exclusion and very hard to combat.
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My youngest daughter was very similar to yours at 15. In my daughter's case, she was very slow to develop physically - she did not get her period until she was 16, and was very "girl-like" at an age when many of her peers had developed. She is now 17 and has almost caught up with the other girls her age. The late development caused my DD to have a rough time with peers from about 11-16. One doctor suggested putting her on hormones, but others advised us against that. I don't know whether your daughter has similar problems. My only advice is that this may be a phase for your DD that will pass because teens grow and mature at different rates. Your DD sounds like there are many positive things about her -- she has excellent grades, and a...
[ Reply | Options ]There are similarities. Mine is also a slow physical developer - got her period around 14 1/2 but it's still not regular. Interesting how some kids just don't blossom at the same time as others in the same age group - although she's not undersized. Just a late-developer, but it takes a long time. She's such a nice kid too (if I do say it) and it annoys me that kids who aren't nearly as nice have it easier socially. But that's whining, so I'll stop.
[ Reply | Options ]you can whine here - I am just not able to think of a way to give you direction. i think opportunities where she can interact/show her personality/abilities is all you can do for now. Try to have fun with her -- and let her have fun. ibet she can feel your stress about this a little.
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I don't think this sounds like Aspergers. My dd's speech therapist described 15 yr old girls with Aspergers to me in a meeting and none of this was in her description. It's not easy socially to get alone with adults or get all A's. That takes some political acumen and good conversational skills. It sounds like something very different to me. I have been her a while and remember reading your posts (I think) a couple of years ago, about the group work and how the girls are polite when they have to be... it all sounds very tough. I wonder if she's just in a bad cycle of rejection now that she can't get out of, and her own feelings about it follow her to camp?
[ Reply | Options ]This is a perfect description of my sister at 13, and now she is a famous artist. I think you have to worry more about the ones the fit in perfectly in their teens.
[ Reply | Options ]OP - Yes, I was the UB poster from a while ago when UB was in the old format. All the above suggestions are good and I've ordered some books on social behavior which might help us. For now, dd doesn't seem to mind hanging out with me, going to the movies, going to Pinkberry's, and doesn't seem to feel threatened if she runs into classmates who "see her with her Mom" - something that would spell social death for the others. But I know they might tease her or mention "Oh, I saw you the other day WITH YOUR MOM" and it's spoken in such a tone - I can't describe it. Can't wait until everyone grows up and out of this stage - such a pity, when teens are physically their most beautiful and healthy. What a waste.
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I think it may be best to take the cues about possible therapeutic action from your daughter herself, since she is old enough to be aware of her situation. I guess the tricky part is how to have an open discussion with her about it without it being humiliating to her. Honestly, from your description, because she DID have a peer group from 3rd grade on and was then pushed out, it sounds like she probably doesn't have asperger's or the like, it sounds like . . . well, she's just a bit of a nerd. We all know late bloomers and outcasts from our youth who ended up finding their places in the world and being wildly successful. It must be painful as a mom, but showing your girl love, and that there is a huge diverse world of people and options bey...
[ Reply | Options ]I have no wisdom to offer, but she sounds lovely. Some people just swim against the tide, and those usually wind up being my favorite people in the world. People like this are often lonely in high school, but somehow they'll click into the right scene in college or a little later, and find people who appreciate their unique spin and world view. She sounds bright and warm, but just not socially adept yet. At some point, the right kind of people will gravitate toward her even if she is odd or awkward. Trust me, I've been in love with men who sound just like your daughter, in terms of being different socially but having amazing minds.
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[-]We are coming to NYC for a 40th birthday with just girlfriends. I need top 3 restaurants and top 3 bars where we should celebrate. Staying in midtown.
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[-]What's a good place in NYC for a small birthday party for a 9 year old boy? Is there a fun arcade (not chuckie cheese) or sports place we could have it?
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Why not just take them to Coney Island. Get the POP bracelets, the $4.50 kids meals at Nathans and a set $$ amount for the arcade and call it a day.
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no, not yet, but I can't imagine trying to keep track of a bunch of kids out there. It is so crazy and crowded. They'd have fun but it sounds like a parental nightmare!
[ Reply | Options ]It's not that bad. People don't realize that CI is made up of a lot of smaller parks. So if you get a POP bracelet the rides will be in a fairly contained area. How many kids are you talking about?
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ITA - Why go all the way out there. Dan & Busters is great and you can get a small room for the cake, etc.
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Dan & Busters in Times Square. They would love all of the games. or ESPN zone around the corner. Tons of games and sports themed ones, too. You can't miss with both places for boys.
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[-]I wonder how NYU students manage finances when they study here for four years. So many temptations in the NYU area - the Flatiron district, Chelsea, West and East Villages. There's so much to do, it's amazing how they study at all. And where do they live? It must be expensive for them, even in a dorm room. Does NYU even offer dorm rooms? Not that it matters - even with top grades, they'll take a kid from Kabul before mine.
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]NYU offers lots of scholarships to their students. I was a middle class kid from Queens with NYC public schooling, and I did my undergrad at NYU for free, more or less, thanks to a hefty scholarship. What's your problem with NYU anyway? Did your kid get rejected or something?
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I went to NYU and a lot of the kids there have jobs. Many of us at the time did not have classes on Fridays (with the exception of some majors most classes are mon-thur) so a lot of kids had pt jobs. There are kids from all over at NYU, but in the last decade there have been a lot more from out of state. I think the apps doubled and thus it is much more difficult to get in. Also agree with above that most students from out of US had $$ to pay and that I knew a lot of kids with financial aid/scholarships.
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, NYU has dorms. they have been building more and more as their draw of students from outside NYC gets bigger. And they offer FA as most colleges do. I would not be surprised if they also offer some subsidized apartments as Columbia does.
[ Reply | Options ]The NYU of this decade is different than the NYU of last decade. It has changed from more of a "commuter" school to a wannabe elite college, mostly through a change in its vision. However, they have very little endowment, compared to a Columbia, so financial aid is not as good as at the more established schools. They do have a ton of dorms, and are always building or acquiring more.
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