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[+] infant care help!!! it seems i missed the boat on planning for infant care for my bab... 7 replies
- find a nanny the day before you went back to work. not that i'd recommend it, but in this economy? buyer's market. daycare is another story, but if you're willing to go with a nanny you can untwist your knickers....
- search no more than a month before you will need one (most want to start work right away). Get on as many daycare lists as possible. They tell you they have 12-18 month wait lists but a lot of those people drop out. I know people...
Talk : : December 16, 2008
infant care help!!! it seems i missed the boat on planning for infant care for my baby that is due in late April 2009! apparently, i was supposed to arrange infant care when i first found out i was pregnant. does anyone have any suggestions as to day care centers/nannies? my son will be about 4.5 months when i return back to work in late august/spetember 2009. i live downtown but work in the upper east side. "the house of little people" is booked already and the deadline is over for some others nearby.
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.16.08, 04:32 PM [ Flag ]get on lists now. you have until about sept., right? where downtown do you live?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]honestly, you could find a nanny the day before you went back to work. not that i'd recommend it, but in this economy? buyer's market. daycare is another story, but if you're willing to go with a nanny you can untwist your knickers.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You aren't behind at all if you choose to use a nanny. You should start a nanny search no more than a month before you will need one (most want to start work right away). Get on as many daycare lists as possible. They tell you they have 12-18 month wait lists but a lot of those people drop out. I know people who got on lists less than 6 mos out and were able to get spots.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks, you've made me feel a little better. every new mom i've spoken to recently has looked at me with startled eyes. had no idea. i'm only 5 and 1/2 months pregnant. i live in the nyu area but work in the east 90s.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]get on the wait lists for house of little people and Seton. Those are the two best where you work. Also, I don't think it's too late to put an application in to CADS, which is on East 60th (and the best day care in manhattan, IMHO). With so many people losing their jobs, I bet spots open up. And if they don't, you won't have any trouble finding a nanny a month before you go back to work, but it will be more expensive than daycare.
[ Reply | Options ]12.17.08, 07:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i basically agree with last poster, i would start looking for a nanny about 2mos before you go back. whoever you interview wants to basically start asap. I used Craig's list to find my wonderful nanny as did many friends. GL
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] If you had the choice between a great day care center and a nanny (day care center a ... 7 replies
- np: i'd say daycare for 18 months plus for the social interaction,...had the choice and went with the great daycare but wound up having to pull dc out...but definitely at 3. in general, kids at daycares are exposed to more germs. and the convenience...
- Lots of viruses being spread around in daycares and being passed on to parents. Hard to...taking care of your DC in some daycares. Daycares might be too intense/ noisy/ crowded for small...
Talk : : December 16, 2008
If you had the choice between a great day care center and a nanny (day care center a little cheaper than nanny even), which would you choose?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.16.08, 04:15 PM [ Flag ]day care if Dc was 3plus. More interaction with other kids.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 04:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My dd is 8 months, why not day care before 3yrs for you?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 04:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np. i think dcs that young need one-on-one attention, and since they don't socialize at that age anyway i think a parent or nanny is better.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: i'd say daycare for 18 months plus for the social interaction, but under 18 months, I think 1:1 care is better. nanny is more convenient for you though.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 04:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i'd say even a little younger, but definitely at 3. in general, kids at daycares are exposed to more germs. and the convenience of a nanny coming to your house is fantastic. but at some point kids like to play with other kids and the interaction is very healthy.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
we had the choice and went with the great daycare but wound up having to pull dc out because our schedules were to erratic and we couldn't always get there for pick-up. in retrospect, i'm happy we did. found a great nanny, dc went to preschool and made tons of friends in the neighborhood and could be home or at the local parks part of the day. was it more $$$? yes. but well worth it imo.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 04:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Lots of viruses being spread around in daycares and being passed on to parents. Hard to check on who exactly will be taking care of your DC in some daycares. Daycares might be too intense/ noisy/ crowded for small kids. My 16-mo DS still needs 2 naps a day and I don't think he would get them in a daycare.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] How should I deal with separation anxiety when I put my dd in daycare? (both hers and...
Talk : : December 16, 2008
[+] what do you get your childs daycare teacher? DH said cash or gift cards 6 replies
Talk : : December 16, 2008
what do you get your childs daycare teacher? DH said cash or gift cards
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.16.08, 12:16 PM [ Flag ]Yup.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 12:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]cash
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 12:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]how much, seriously I hate to pry but I ahve no clue. $100, not sure if that is cheap for NY
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 12:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i guess that depends on how much you pay and can afford really i think any amount is fine i know it ranges greatly at ours!
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 12:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what amount? sorry to pry but is $100 okay for NY standards
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 12:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Seems a little high. We gave 25 per teacher for a three day per week x 3 hours per day program. There were two teachers. The money was pooled and given on an AMEX gift card.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 12:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] if your dc were in a mixed-age daycare group, would it be a concern to you if s/he we... 4 replies
- that's quite a difference. I think I would try to get her into a preschool w/other kids closer to her own age. BUT that's just what I would do. My dd is also in daycare and that is an issue my dh and I regularly discuss (who of her age group is staying next year etc.)...
Talk : : December 16, 2008
if your dc were in a mixed-age daycare group, would it be a concern to you if s/he were the oldest in the group? i.e., that she might regress or be understimulated? 25mo dc is a little behind physically but a little advanced otherwise. Thanks for any thoughts.
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.16.08, 11:49 AM [ Flag ]how much older is she?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 11:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]the next oldest child is a 23mo boy - then there are a couple kids around 18mo and an infant
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]that's quite a difference. I think I would try to get her into a preschool w/other kids closer to her own age. BUT that's just what I would do. My dd is also in daycare and that is an issue my dh and I regularly discuss (who of her age group is staying next year etc.)
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 12:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
If he were happy there, that wouldn't concern me. If he seemed unhappy or there were other negatives, then look for day care with slightly older children.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 12:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Any suggestions of finger foods for a picky 1 yr old who eats very little? So far, I ... 6 replies
Talk : : December 16, 2008
Any suggestions of finger foods for a picky 1 yr old who eats very little? So far, I have tried avocado, pasta/noodle, scramble egg w/ lunch meat turkey, french toast, cheese, yogurt. Need to make her lunch to eat at daycare but is running out of ideas since she doesn't like to eat most of these..
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.16.08, 11:34 AM [ Flag ]raw baby carrots, dry cheerios, applesauce
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 11:39 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]seedless grapes
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 11:46 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
hard boiled egg and apple sauce
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 11:51 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I hate to suggest this, but try smth from Gerber graduates line, like little sausages in a jar, etc. My daughter used to like them a lot
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 12:31 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I have been in the same boat... Try Dr. Praegger's spinach or broccoli bites...he didn't go for it at first, but after one or two tries, he started to. my son also loves cheese sticks, turkey hot dogs...tough at day care. now that he is little older, he will actually eat 1/4-1/2 of a peanut butter and honey sandwich. try having him eat around other kids at home, too and wi th you, so he sees what you eat
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 02:06 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Try not to fret too much -- lots of kids this age are not big chowhounds, their needs for cals go down, and life is so exciting for them it's hard to sit still and eat. At that age my dd liked crackers she could hold and nibble on herself, tiny meatballs, puffs (those baby puffs? Hm, forget what they are called) plus we still fed her jarred stuff b/c she was slow to like solids.... Can you do a jar too or will your dd not eat those anymore either? (PS Raw baby carrots are a choking hazard, ditto grapes unless you 1/4 them)
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 04:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I just found out I neglected to invite one of the kids in dd's class to her 4th b-day... 2 replies
Talk : : December 16, 2008
I just found out I neglected to invite one of the kids in dd's class to her 4th b-day party. Kid started at daycare a week before invites went out. Since his address wasn't listed on class list (only his name), I brought invite to school to put in cubby. Couldn't find cubby and teacher told me he's in the class next door. I assumed that meant he wasn't in dd's class anymore and didn't leave invite. Now teacher tells me he was just next door to preserve ratio that pm and he's really in her class. I feel bad. WWYD??
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.16.08, 11:21 AM [ Flag ]apologize to parent.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 11:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]if the party already happened just drop it, if not get phone number, call and invite saying they started school after invites went out
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 11:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] How do you afford $1600/month daycare?? 13 replies
- we don't pay that for daycare but between all our childcare expenses we pay something in that ballpark each month. it's very expensive....
- to find someone through church or school. I have been looking for some time now and haven't found anything less than $1800 (licensed daycare). Full time day nanny would be far more ($2400+)...
Talk : : December 16, 2008
How do you afford $1600/month daycare??
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.16.08, 09:31 AM [ Flag ]presumably by making more than 1600 a month?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]we don't pay that for daycare but between all our childcare expenses we pay something in that ballpark each month. it's very expensive.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]accept the fact that in the early years this maybe your biggest or 2d biggest budget item.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We pay a lot more than that for our nanny! As poster above said, we afford it by making more than that.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Mine is $1750 a month...
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We pay that for our nanny... people here pay more than that...
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 10:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]If you send your kid to a private, try double that per month for 13 years!
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 10:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Maybe try posting an advertisement in your building seeing if someone can "share" nanny expenses or can provide services (hoping that because you live in same building, they might charge less?) Hmm, used to be that young parents always had grandparents or other neighborhood people who could help out. Seems like those days are long gone. Or maybe try to find someone through church or school. I have been looking for some time now and haven't found anything less than $1800 (licensed daycare). Full time day nanny would be far more ($2400+)
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 10:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm a young grandma-to-be (55) and retired these days, but feeling the financial crunch like I never thought I would. Am college educated, taught for a while at FIT, took a leave of absence from grad school when 911 hit and haven't gone back yet. Spend most of my time doing freelance graphics when I can find it and I do a lot of volunteering as an education advocate. Sent both my happy and healthy kids to college-- youngest is 18 & my daughter is 30. I'm in Brooklyn Heights and would be happy to discuss doing childcare to help make my ends meet. Am sensitive to the needs of young families and love children and I don't need to earn anything near what was quoted here. All to say, decent, wholesome, educated and caring "Grannys" really are out here-- we need you as much as you need us-- but how do we find one another?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 01:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]too bad i dont live in brooklyn :(
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 03:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
a share would be a good idea. i am looking to possibly do the same a few days per week
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 02:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]not as easy as it sounds. but gl.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 02:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I pay $3500 a month in childcare - for infant twins and a 2-year old. I bring home $6000 a month - that's how I afford it! That take home doesn't include what my husband brings in.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 03:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] DD started daycare in September. Not sure what to tip staff. One full time and 2 pa...
Talk : : December 16, 2008
[+] Any toughts on Tutor Time (esp the 6th ave facility in Manhattan)? Considering it as ... 2 replies
- they are closed an absurd amount of days. Plus, I started to imagine what my days would be like, trying to get db to daycare and myself to work and I just thought it would cause me a lot of undue stress. I wasn't impressed with any of...
- I agree with above poster. I think daycare is fine for 16month + crowd but very hard for a young baby. If money is not a problem I would go the nanny route...
Talk : : December 16, 2008
Any toughts on Tutor Time (esp the 6th ave facility in Manhattan)? Considering it as option for when i need to go back to work, when baby is 3-4 months. Also, thoughts on day care like Tutor Time vs. nanny (I know new yorkers prefer nannies, but it scares me to entrust my baby and his nurturing/education to one stranger, and I feel being around other kids has big benefits...)
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.16.08, 06:56 AM [ Flag ]I thought I felt the same way as you do until I started looking into Manhattan day cares. The options are so much worse and more limited than what my friends in suburbs have. The hours are ridiculous if you actually have to get to and from work and they are closed an absurd amount of days. Plus, I started to imagine what my days would be like, trying to get db to daycare and myself to work and I just thought it would cause me a lot of undue stress. I wasn't impressed with any of the infant rooms I saw either. I was lucky enough to be able to hire a colleague's old nanny (she was with her for 6 years) and it is SO much preferable to the day cares I toured last year.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I agree with above poster. I think daycare is fine for 16month + crowd but very hard for a young baby. If money is not a problem I would go the nanny route, start talking to neighbors who have kids and get recs and spend plenty of time with nanny before you go back to work
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] A black girl went to school with diamond earrings last week bought by her mom from Za... 101 replies
- ^^^It's such a sharp contrast to our former daycare/preschool that I feel like I moved to another town (or another decade)....
Talk : : December 16, 2008
A black girl went to school with diamond earrings last week bought by her mom from Zales. She was telling her friends about them as a white girl walks by who then stops and asked innocently "How can you afford them, you are black". The white girl was suspended.
101 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.16.08, 05:21 AM [ Flagged ]where? which school?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:22 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Downtown, public middle school.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:23 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]i am shocked and sad. I wonder what the suspended girl's parents are like.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]for her own protection, no doubt. What an idiot. I think it's ok for a school to come down hard on racist statements just to keep the peace if nothing else.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:25 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I'm confused as to why the Zales reference is necessary.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:27 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Middle of the road store, apparently the girl was proudly saying it.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:35 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
That suspension will do nothing to open up communications or eleviate racism. Dumb move on a teachable moment about race.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:34 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Former teacher here. I agree 100%.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:37 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]The whole idea of suspension is ignorant. What good does it do? ever? Especially when there are issues that need addressing.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:16 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
How on earth do you know the white girl asked it "innocently"? If she's in a public middle school in nyc (meaning she is urban, and has been exposed to different cultures), that was not innocent. Suspension is a good thing -- THEN talk about why it was a moronic thing to say.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:37 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Yeah - what's with the "innocently"?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:41 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
How did the suspension occur? Did a teacher or administrator overhear the comment or was there a later complaint? Either way, it does seem like a loss of a teachable moment.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:43 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Oh please -- there is nothing to teach the girl that was suspended except don't be a racist asshole.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]girl thinks all black people are poor. discuss how being black doesn't = poor, that in fact most poor people in this country are white. me, if i were the principal of that school, i'd ask both girls and their moms to come in for a little chat together with cookies.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:57 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I think OP is a troll here. If this truly was a public MS downtown, by sixth grade any kid knows that there are plenty of black people that are not poor. My kids are in public school with plenty of MC/UMC black families.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:06 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I think you are naive. This is a more blatant racist comment, but even in places in which people think they are liberal, they harbor certain racial prejudices. Take UB for example. Everyone is supposed to be open-minded, well educated, cultured because we live in NYC, and yet, UB is the most racist place I've encountered -- and not just because it's anonymous.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:01 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Sorry but even if you are racist, my point stands that someone in sixth grade in NYC public school would have met a middle class black family by then. They are not all poor by a long shot.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 08:30 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
No, the white girl thinks THIS PARTICULAR kid is poor. Or maybe it was a joke (ever heard middle school conversations on the street or subway - they'd make a truck driver blush)
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 08:33 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
ITA - they should have packed little white girl off to the hills of West Virginia where she could witness white people in serious poverty
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:00 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
sniff, sniff - I smell a troll
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:48 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]duh
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:07 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
YOUMUST BE WHITE AND PREJUDICE! I AM WHITE TOO, BUT LISTEN TO YOURSELF....SHE INNOCENTLY ASKED HOW CAN U AFFORD IT? HOW DO U KNOW IT WAS INNOCENT? WERE U THERE? IS IT UR REALTIVE? iT WAS NOT INNOCENT CAUSE THAT ' THE THING. WHITES THINK THEY ARE SUPERIOR TO BLACKS WHICH IS SOOOO UNTRUE
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what are you yelling?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:02 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]LOL... I certainly feel superior to you, but that has nothing to do with race.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:10 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I'd think you're a moron whether you were black, white or purple with green polka dots.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 08:38 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
There are strict rules about suspension, and I honestly do not see how this is a suspendable offense. stupid, ignorant, bigoted, yes, but suspended?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:01 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I think OP is a troll, this story makes no sense whatsoever.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:06 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Yes, and if we alls top replying to her, then she can focus on the I took my kids ADHD meds post.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:10 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
OP: Completely true story...to be honest I don't know if it was innocent but the comment was reported to the administration by the black girl.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:12 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]how did you get the details?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:13 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Niece goes to that school.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:14 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]and who told her the details?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:15 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
What was your point in posting about it here?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:13 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]To let people know what is happening in our middle schools and how kids talk to each other.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:14 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]You must not have children. Every parent on the planet knows that there are racists in the world. Every parent on the planet knows that racist adults raise racist children and every parent on the planet knows that middle school is brutal.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:16 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]We choose to believe that we are starting to move beyond it.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:21 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]huh? How many people do you speak for?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Well this is interesting. Then why did YOU say "innocently"? If the black girl reported it, I'm sure it wasn't to tell the principal the white girl seemed a little confused. Why on earth would you ASSume the white girl said it "innocently" when there is nothing to suggest that? This should be a teachable moment for you, my dear.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:17 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Honestly, I assume everyone is innocent especially an 12 yo.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:21 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]did you assume the black girl "innocently" told the administration about this conversation? or that she was "innocently" bragging about Zales?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:23 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]lol. a 12 yo girl in nyc is not innocent!
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:27 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Suspention is not the right thing to do in a situation like this. She should be disciplined but suspending a kid for a stupid remark is a foolish way to deal with what she said.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:44 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]They should have made her walk around for a week with a duance cap on.
[ Reply | Options ]12.17.08, 07:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
A classmate of my dd wasn't suspended for an unprovoked attack on another kid in the class that left permanent scars on his face - only a 3 day principal's suspension, which meant the attacker had a sub all to himself in the library for 3 days, costing the school $$$. If this girl was suspended, she could get the principal fired for the DOE's definition of excessive force/corporal punishment and not following Chancellor's regs.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: My children have made the assumption that the kids with parents who show up to classroom celebrations, assemblies and performances, volunteer at school fairs, and go to PTA meetings, like their parents are not poor. They assume that the kids whose parents never seem to make it to school are. Unfortunately, at our gen ed public, it runs along racial lines more often than not and my kids assume that most of the black families are poorer because the parents must both have to work or why wouldn't they be there for their kids?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:17 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]why would your kids assume that 2 working parents = poor?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:21 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np, but I read that as two working parents in jobs with little flexibility so they can never come to school for functions etc. And it is not a big leap to realize that jobs with no flexibilty are often lower paying
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:25 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]not if both the parents are neurosurgeons, public defenders, ambassadors, executive assistants or teachers at another school -- just some examples.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:49 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I work for an ambassador and he goes to every event his children have!
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:52 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]An ambaasador isn't a job, really...
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:27 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Your examples aren't holding up - teachers are low paying jobs, we all know this!!!
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:53 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]but not POOR. The assumption is that they are POOR.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:12 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]semantics.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:17 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
really? my DH and I are both in medicine. not much flexibility there and not lower paying. think before you generalize.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:50 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]seriously. also, not everyone considers PTA meetings command performance events. Parents may want to use their flexibility or time off for plays, conferences, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:59 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]NP: I think it's a fundamental problem with the public school system, actually. They are underfunded and depend so heavily on parental involvement and support - but structure themselves so only those who are available between 9 and 3 are able to get involved. And then people like the OR have negative attitudes and make assumptions about "uninvolved" parents and pass those assumptions on to their children.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:04 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Our PTA meetings are at 6:30 in the evening and we provide child care. We have fall festival and spring fling and the auction on weekends. There is ALWAYS an opportunity to get involved and it doesn't remotely have to occure between 9 and 3.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:10 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Do you work?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:20 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np: you beat me to that question.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:21 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]sorry, I had to go for a bit, yes. I run my own company. Why do you ask?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 08:34 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]My daughter is in kindergarten and it's been amazing to me how unwelcoming our school is to working parents. Actually, make that unwelcoming to working mothers and ALL fathers - my DH is a SAHD and it's like he doesn't even exist as far as the school and PTA are concerned.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:02 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]^^^It's such a sharp contrast to our former daycare/preschool that I feel like I moved to another town (or another decade).
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:03 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]But that is a function of YOUR school, not all schools. There are schools who don't want ANY parents anywhere in sight (NEST, 116) and schools who throw the door open wide. They all have a personality and I think it is more that than working vs sahm. But some fights just never die.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:44 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]uh, i'm in my daughter's classroom at NEST more than once a week.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 10:47 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np: then you are probably a class parent. Do you work?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:45 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
nnp: It is a valid question, I work and am very involved, and most people who are involved do work. Not many SAHMs at public schools unless they have small kids at home.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 08:35 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
We are not talking about PTA, which is attended by the same people but class event where we see our kids.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:26 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np: Hello? Class event has to be when class is in session, clearly. And honestly, IME the difference is not between working vs. non-working parents, it is between those that care to show up vs. those that do not. Most parents at our school work, and yet they show up, both parents for many kids. Others won't even bother to have parent-teacher conference. Why?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 08:29 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]you may not be talking PTA - I was addressing how a parent could be involved in school functions and activities when they work. Attending PTA meetings (voting, knowing the issues and having a chance to hear about all the way you can volunteer) is an excellent way to get started.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 08:37 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Our school's PTA meetings are a joke - for show only. All the decisions are made by a small clique of SAHMs that hang out at pick-up and drop-off.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 08:58 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Don't fight em, join em. And PTA's have by laws about voting. If there is a problem, then talk to the parent coordinator and or principal. Don't just complain, state what is wrong and what you think might help to fix it. You might also try talking to the Pres of PTA. You never know...
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:47 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Start by outing the school on UB - that should get people talking!!!!
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:48 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I'm poor and I have flexibility! Of course, I also think that being an ambassador is a real job.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 12:15 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I don't think ANY kids should be wearing diamond earrings to school.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:18 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]lol. brearly girls will be most offended at that statement!
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:19 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Yes, protesting while they are wearing their cashmere sweaters in a rainbow of colors.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:22 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
oh, but they are only from Zales. Surely diamond earrings from ZALES should be okay..
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:54 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]yeah - what if her mom had gone to Jarod's??? lol
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:01 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I actually think this is an interesting post. As one of five black kids at my private school (not in NYC) I had a girl and a boy say something similar (i.e. how could you afford private school, or your mother couldn't afford a wedding ring). Neither said because I was black, but it was understood. The suspension is a ridiculous way of handling the situation and shows the school's inability to deal with these issues. This is something that should be discussed (not beaten to death though), then put aside and allowed to let die.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:57 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]NP: I like you! But -- IF TRUE -- if this was really in a high school, this girl is old enough to understand that such a comment is offensive, or likely offensive. Maybe suspension is too much, but some kind of discipline would be called for.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 08:20 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Middle School, 12 year olds.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 10:17 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
What is with this site. Rampant racism. Don't pass it on to your kids.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:09 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Being suspended for saying some thing like that is over reacting. I can understand if she said the N word but she did not even use bad language. Its not right but does not warrant suspention. Its like telling a white kid you can't play basketball because you are not black. Give me a break!
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:39 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]perhaps she mentioned Zales to show that they were actually purchased at a store as opposed to buying stolen merchandise off the street, or stealing them herself. perhaps the white kid was suspended because the school believed that by her saying a black could not afford them, she was actually implying that they were stolen
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]FAKE POST
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 08:16 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]duh, np and I can't believe how much time this post has wasted.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:26 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
that suspended girl should have been permanently expelled and SENT TO ANOTHER SCHOOL.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 08:50 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]yeah, so she doesnt' have to interact with black kids....wtf????
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:04 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]she has lost the right to be at the school. besides, she needs a fresh start.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:11 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I think the school fckd up here, not the kid. Teachabel mome nt aboout race and economic classes and things we don't say because our principal attended Brown in the early 90s.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:15 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
These are kids for goodness sakes. We have a president elect that has admitted using cocaine and a current president that had an alcohol issue and drove under the influence. These were excused because they were young. The white girl should apoligize, end of story.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:37 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Yawn... I hope this thinking dies on Inauguration Day troll... Black Upper class has been around for decades in MV and Sag Harbor wearing diamonds and furs and HAPPY amongst ourselves.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 10:11 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]They only summer?
[ Reply | Options ]12.17.08, 12:17 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Is the white girl mentally retarded? It seems like a truly idiotic thing for a MS child in NYC to say. I think this is FAKE.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 11:34 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Remember that the OP heard this from her niece. I'm sure the story is many times removed from what actually happened.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 12:24 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I agree. By the time my kids relate a "school story/incident" to me it's blown completely out of proporation to what really happened or a major detail has been completely left out. Like...Billy got an Oreo Cakester to Billy just grew a new chest hair. So maybe this story isn't soooooooooooooooooooooooo sensational after all.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 12:34 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I'm Black here. I think the suspension was a bit much. Certainly could have a generated a good discussion between the two girls at the very least and with the whole student body at the very most. I've had white kids (friends of my DCs) say all sorts of stuff to me like...why is your hair so long, Black people have short hair and I don't see it as racists, just maybe uninformed. I could be wrong but I never pass up a teaching opportunity.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 12:30 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Fake. Fakity-fake, fake.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:53 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]such a silly comment! obviously the mom's baby daddy is a drug dealer!
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:28 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]suspension is harsh. but something had to be done.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 07:52 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]what's so harsh about suspension? It's a day off.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 09:03 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
[+] how congested is to congested for daycare? db is 4mo old. no change in temp, eating, ...
Talk : : December 16, 2008
[+] can somebody tell me how to go about hiring a nanny? just started back at work and do... 9 replies
- i found mine thru craigslist. a gem. good luck. daycare is rough with the commute plus getting sick...
Talk : : December 16, 2008
can somebody tell me how to go about hiring a nanny? just started back at work and don't think daycare is the way to go. db is already sick one week in and its nearly impossible to adhere to their strict hours. i live 7miles outside of the city on bus and train lines. any recommendations?
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.16.08, 04:08 AM [ Flag ]ask friends with nannies if they know of anyone looking. check out craigslist. then interview. have a contract with list of expectations/duties.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 04:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i have no friends with kids! am 32 and all my girls are still sex in the city. thanks though.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 04:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i found mine thru craigslist. a gem. good luck. daycare is rough with the commute plus getting sick...
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 04:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I went through an agency... I didn't trust meeting people over the internet without having them pre-screened. Agencies advertise on craigslist. Check them out or ask friends if they are giving up nannies. Word of mouth is the best way to go.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]how much did the agency cost? do they do the payroll too?
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I've gone through 2 agencies, one I found on urbanbaby and one was recommended. The latter was more expensive. I paid 18% through the bigger agency which at the time was over 4,000 and the other agency was about 1,800 where I got my current nanny.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thx
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Agencies don't do payroll, you have to do that yourself and most parents pay off the books.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 05:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I found my nanny on Craig's list, might seem weird but she is fantastic, and I met sveral toher really great nannies that way. I only responded to employers who posted trying to help their nannies get new jobs (most were relocating and nanny did not want to move). Also check babybitesnyc.com, they have nanny listings and I found my first babysitter that way and she was great. GL. no need to pay agency fees.
[ Reply | Options ]12.16.08, 06:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] How much are you tipping your doormen this year? How much for the porters? Also, ho... 3 replies
Talk : : December 15, 2008
How much are you tipping your doormen this year? How much for the porters? Also, how much should I give my son's daycare teachers? (There is no organized gift.) I hate this stuff and never know if I'm in line with others.
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.15.08, 02:22 PM [ Flag ]I am cutting everyone this year my 20 each 15 people in our building. Preschool teacher 30 each
[ Reply | Options ]12.15.08, 02:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was thinking about $60 for the doormen and $40 for the porters and $50 each fo the preschool teachers. Does this sound okay?
[ Reply | Options ]12.15.08, 02:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that is normal if we werent hurt so much by the finacial crisis that is what we do
[ Reply | Options ]12.15.08, 02:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] how do you and DH divide household responsibilities? Feeling like i'm getting the sh... 5 replies
- and takes out garbage & recycling and does laundry. I clean up after meals, take care of dog, sort, fold and put away laundry, shop for non-food items (target etc), bulk of baby duty (feedings, baths, dressing, getting stuff ready for daycare), get garbage & recycling ready to go out, general household cleaning, and i'm the nag who makes sure his jobs are done when I want them done!...
Talk : : December 15, 2008
how do you and DH divide household responsibilities? Feeling like i'm getting the short end of the stick. DH does the cat litter and garbage, and I cook all the meals and do the dishes. we have a cleaning lady every other week, so we both do general upkeep (wiping down tables, etc) although I have at times vacuumed and washed kitchen floor as needed and i don't believe DH has ever vacuumed or cleaned the floors.
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.15.08, 09:17 AM [ Flag ]mine does all the things i hate to do or can tolerate how he does them... the pattern just emerged, we didn't make a list. I shop, cook, do laundry and sweep/dust. he does garbage, dishes, baby play room, bathrooms and general "fetching" (take out, milk from store etc). feel pretty even
[ Reply | Options ]12.15.08, 09:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ and he takes dd and dog to their respective parks every weekend for a total of 2-3 hours.
[ Reply | Options ]12.15.08, 09:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i do laundry and wash dishes, but dh puts away laundry and clean dishes. i organize the house (so we can see the floor) and dh vaccuums it. I sweep and dh mops. I buy groceries and dh cooks. i clean toilets and sinks etc, but dh takes out trash and changes litter. i keep cars washed outside and clean inside, but dh keeps them gassed up and oil changed.
[ Reply | Options ]12.15.08, 09:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]same as lady above, we trade off the things we hate to do. i dont mind dishes and laundry but i HATE putting the clean stuff up, and he feels like he's got it easy if thats the only part of it he has to do. so in the end, it all works out and no one feels overwhelmed. nonetheless, we still fight over who is not putting toilet paper on the roller...
[ Reply | Options ]12.15.08, 09:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Here's how we do it: DH does food shopping, cooking, keeps cat serviced, walks dod, mops, sweeps and takes out garbage & recycling and does laundry. I clean up after meals, take care of dog, sort, fold and put away laundry, shop for non-food items (target etc), bulk of baby duty (feedings, baths, dressing, getting stuff ready for daycare), get garbage & recycling ready to go out, general household cleaning, and i'm the nag who makes sure his jobs are done when I want them done!
[ Reply | Options ]12.15.08, 09:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] the very pricey daycares in NYC ($2200/month for toddler) - is the care that much bet... 1 reply
Talk : : December 14, 2008
the very pricey daycares in NYC ($2200/month for toddler) - is the care that much better? less turnover? trying to make myself feel better about the cost (starting toddler in one soon - the only place we could find that had space on short notice)
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.14.08, 12:00 PM [ Flag ]Both my children were in a Bright Horizons center and we were very happy with the care. The preschool level (3-5's) was especially good - the teacher had a master's in ECE, she did lots of things one-on-one with the DC at their different levels.
[ Reply | Options ]12.14.08, 12:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Any opinions on Buckle My Shoe daycare in Tribeca? tia.
Talk : : December 12, 2008
[+] xpost: wohm and btdt: what happens to nanny when dc goes into Kindergarten? do you do... 10 replies
- My nanny, share with a friend who previously had children in daycare, children go to the same school. It's nutty but works....
Talk : : December 12, 2008
xpost: wohm and btdt: what happens to nanny when dc goes into Kindergarten? do you do afterschool programs and give up nanny? just looking for feedback..
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.12.08, 07:17 AM [ Flag ]share nanny and part-time afterschool
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 07:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]with a friend? your nanny you shared or got rid of yours adn shared another? she makes same salary and wathches for 2 familes?
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 07:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]My nanny, share with a friend who previously had children in daycare, children go to the same school. It's nutty but works.
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 07:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]and how far in advance did you have this discussion w/nanny?
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 07:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
that's what we did too
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 08:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I have one in K one in 1st. Kept FT nanny this year. It is a very expensive luxury. But there are six full wks during school yr with no school. On top of that there are 1/2 days, random teacher development day and the dreaded unplanned sick days. Even if you do 8wks of Summer camp you still have about 2wks at start of Summer and 2wks at end with possibly no school or camp. This yr. nanny has picked up all cleaning and laundry and when she works late we have agreed she will not get paid extra. Also she has agreed, but we have not taken advantage to work some weekend days without extra pay. I really do not know what the alternative is, but given my income is falling by more than 50% I need to reevaluate.
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 07:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^Many afterschool programs end early around 5:30. you can try and hire college sitters for after school care, but that does not cover vaca weeks and could lead to lots of turn over.
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 07:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]whne did you start discussing this with nanny? did you have a cleaner before? i like the idea but i feel a littel bad firign my cleaner, who has worked fro us longer than the nanny.
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 08:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Depends on your child. If you've had a nanny all along, DC may not be able to handle staying in school so late.
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 07:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you step them up to it. we have a nanny for our younger child but the older one does after school some days already. he's fine
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 08:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] wohm and btdt: what happens to nanny when dc goes into Kindergarten? do you do afters... 7 replies
- I'm not there yet, but a few people I know on the UES do daycare and then the 92nd St Y. They are very happy with the 92ndStY program. It ends at - I think - 6pm so you have to leave work pretty early. But you could do a combo of that and a sitter. I know people that have kept nanny's on...
Talk : : December 12, 2008
wohm and btdt: what happens to nanny when dc goes into Kindergarten? do you do afterschool programs and give up nanny? just looking for feedback..
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.12.08, 07:02 AM [ Flagged ]It's tough. If you give up the nanny, you have to be ready to stay home for all school vacation days and sick days. And going with a part-time person can lead to lots of turnover, since most are looking for full-time. Many people just keep nanny and have her do more housework, but that's not ideal, either.
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 07:32 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]It really depends on people's finances. Some, share a nanny - some do afterschool - the wealthy/profligate ones have a full time nanny sitting around for most of the day
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 07:47 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]we didn't give up nanny, but scaled back her hours to half time, then in 1st grade, to really part time. now, our sitter literally works about 5 hours per week. we've been lucky though -- we've been able to keep the same sitter throughout. our situation is really rare -- most FT nannies want FT hours.
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 09:53 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np: these days, there's prob a lot more availability of nannies willing to take any job, even pt. also, college/grad students are good bets for pt after school care. or an aupair.
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 10:03 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I'm not there yet, but a few people I know on the UES do daycare and then the 92nd St Y. They are very happy with the 92ndStY program. It ends at - I think - 6pm so you have to leave work pretty early. But you could do a combo of that and a sitter. I know people that have kept nanny's on as well and pay them for FT.
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 10:39 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]We cut back our nanny slightly ($100) but she still makes more than most of you pay per week for full time nanny.
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 10:42 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I am in the same boat, I pay my Nanny FT for 4 days after school and some housecleaning before that, I think it comes out to about 24/hour. Right now it is killing me, but I don't want to take away the stability from my DS who already had to go through parents' divorce
[ Reply | Options ]12.12.08, 11:18 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
[+] parents association at dc's daycare is collecting money and will pool it to give to a...
Talk : : December 11, 2008
parents association at dc's daycare is collecting money and will pool it to give to all the teachers for holiday gift. I plan to contribute, but should I give individual gifts - like a gift certificate - to her specific teachers as well? (We always give additional to our own doormen even though there is a pooled gift as well at our coop complex, not sure if it should be the same with teachers..)
[ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.11.08, 09:17 AM [ Flag ]
[+] Anyone feel pressured about weaning dc off breast feeding after 1 yr? My daughter is... 20 replies
- oh we do already offer baby lunch solids at daycare as well as solid food for dinner at home. I still pump bm for her daycare and nurse her once in the evening before she sleeps....
- her ability to eat proper amts of solids? I guess when should i stop pumping for daycare?? She doesn't like cows milk at all. I would still like to nurse her at...
Talk : : December 11, 2008
Anyone feel pressured about weaning dc off breast feeding after 1 yr? My daughter is going to be 13 months in 2 weeks and I really feel it would be very hard for both of us to quit anytime soon. However, I feel like such an odd ball since no one at work or at dc's day care is still bf pass 10 months. DC is a really lean baby that doesn't eat much solid and I am afraid to cut out the bf completely for fear that she will not get enough nutrient. Though Pedi says dc only really needs water and solid food these days. I feel stressed just thinking about it but I also don't want to get too addicated to bf after dc becomes a toddler. I feel that our society doesn't support bf pass toddler age for whatever health or development reasons. Will it get easier to wean when dc is older??
20 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.11.08, 08:43 AM [ Flag ]Why don't you slowly introduce solids while gradually reducing BF? As your baby grows, he/she needs more nutrients than just BF to develop properly.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 08:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]oh we do already offer baby lunch solids at daycare as well as solid food for dinner at home. I still pump bm for her daycare and nurse her once in the evening before she sleeps.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 08:51 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]This last sentence is not true.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 10:35 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I felt pressure, but not at home so I did what i wanted. Both babies nursed well past a year. You shodl do want you adn the baby want; there is nothing wrong with bfing at this age and some benefit to both of you.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 08:52 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]You seem conflicted, I want to support your decision but not sure what that is. I can say that I BFed to 3 years. If you don't feel accepted - well, nobody has to know, I stopped doing it in public at 18 months. I won't lie, I don't think it gets easier to wean, but it was not traumatic for us: we told her 3 yos don't nurse anymore, starting 2-3 months before her birthday. She has not asked since turning 3 and didn't even bring it up for over a week, then only to point out to me that she hadn't asked since turning 2. In general, I think weaning is hard enough when you want to do it.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 08:53 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Will nursing her going into 2 yr affect her ability to eat proper amts of solids? I guess when should i stop pumping for daycare?? She doesn't like cows milk at all. I would still like to nurse her at home in the evening so i don't want to dry up my supply.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 08:59 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]above responder: i stopped pumping when my kids were about 13 mos. my supply was fine for mornings, evenings and weekends. and it doesnt' replace solids any more than cow's milk does.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:02 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Same here more or less (I am the nursed DD to 3 poster).
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 10:02 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Your pediatrician doesn't think DC need milk after 1 yr? Just water?
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:02 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]yup, this is adivce from Pedi Michel Cohen from Tribeca Pediatrics. I don't like him much.. he gave dc shots yesterday and didn't even remember to put the bandage on. I need to switch
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:07 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I know this is really irrelevant to the point of the post, but you really don't need a bandage after a shot, should not be an issue that he didn't put one on.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:12 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]oh ok. though she did have blood oozing out.. i guess that is not a big deal.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:19 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
NP: WHAT?!?! that's totally crazy! DB definitely needs milk!
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:13 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np: i don't think that kids "need" milk. they need the nutrients provided by milk, and it's certainly hard to get toddlers to get sufficient calcium for example from other foods since veggies are often not a big hit, but all that being said, milk is not necessary.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:18 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I don't think there is any reason to wean a 13 month old unless one or both of you want to. although solids are important at this point, BM continues to be beneficial, especially for a thinner baby. In fat, a lot of underweight toddlers are given "toddler formula" in order to make sure they get enough calories and nutrients - this is no different. Personally, I feel that as dcs get closer to 2yo, there need to be more limitations put on the when and where of nursing - no longer on demand, but that's ME - lots of others are fine w nursing a toddler on demand. I don't think you need to pump after 1 yo and that's something i know a lot of EN stop doing.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:02 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I am a bit conflicted about whether to stop pumping completly since she barely eats solids (even though we have been offering her a variety of solids since 6 months). If I only nurse in evening and morning, I think she ony get about 10oz. Is that enough?
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:17 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]or: honestly, if solids are still a very small part of her diet i would keep pumping for now - but it could change in as little as a few months - they make big leaps at that age. also, make sure you aren't overestimating how much solid food a 13 month old is supposed to eat.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:20 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I ebf for two years and never gave a second thought to what other people thought or said.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:53 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]do what feels right for you and your baby. I nursed mine until they were 3 years old. I don't give a rat's ass what society says about it -- they are amazing kids and I know it was right for them.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 10:30 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I'm amused by the contradiction of some of these posts: babies need MORE than breastmilk after a year. Babies NEED [cow's] milk. Yes, let's rush to stop providing the perfect, custom-made, most nutritious substance and switch to the milk of a different mammal just because "society" has a problem with the idea of toddlers nursing. In many parts of the world babies are nursed exclusively until 2 or 3 years old (esp when families can't afford food for baby) and they are FINE. Malnutrition and other problems turn up after the breastmilk stops.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 10:35 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
[+] dc at secular preschool. twice recently, different parents came in to "share" about ... 78 replies
- everyone in a balanced way that lets them control the situation. At my daycare, they devoted this week to Christmas and next week are doing some Hannukah...us a note telling us to speak with them directly about our concerns. The daycare is very diverse. There are people that don't celebrate either holiday, a...
- For the record, I am the OR (that wrote about daycare) and didn't write anything additional on this thread. I would recommend the...
Talk : : December 10, 2008
dc at secular preschool. twice recently, different parents came in to "share" about channukah, bringing latkes, etc. another parent is now asking to do a piece about it at the holiday party since 2 classes will be combined for the event. Overheard some moms discussing how christmas is getting shortchanged, and are now thinking of doing something with the kids about it. I feel its a bit much. we are atheists, and though I don't mind hearing about traditions, this just feels like overkill. Anyone else experiencing this? thoughts?
78 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.10.08, 07:41 PM [ Flagged ]I hear you. Very annoying.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 07:56 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]i hear you. it's a problem when multi-culturalism butts up against anti-culturalism. (not implying that atheism in uncultured, but just that it's the absence of religious experience, as opposed to a different religious idea)
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 07:58 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I am not against others celebrating religious things, jsut don't feel my dc needs 3 or 4 seances on any given religious holiday. what is up with the teachers that they have allowed it twice already, and are adding a 3rd explanation of it. now add christmas. I feel no one is asking us to give an atheist point of view. I am not anti anything btw, just don't need it repeated over and over for my dc. frankly, school shoud be free of religion, unless its religious school. we can all talk about national holidays.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:01 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]NP-I couldn't agree more. Sounds like you have some competitive parents in your preschool.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:05 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]no one's interested in the atheist point of view b/c no one's interested in the jewish point of view or the catholic point of view either. they are interested in the culture of it, not in the reason for it. so until you have some gimmicky little thing that you can show people, they just won't care about you.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:06 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]well, we are not that nterested in the culture of it. I think they are teaching my dc religious stories and traditions, and its total bs to call it culture when you are talking to 4 yos. I don't like it. saeparation of church and state.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:09 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]madeleine murray o'hare in da house! bah humbug!
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:11 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]funny b/c i dislike it for the opposite reason. i think this effort to portray it as a cultural thing is bad for the religion. i think religion in and of itself is pretty offensive to people who aren't of that religion and so in order to push the "we all have to get along" they dumb it down and turn it away from a religious event to a cultural event.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:12 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]exactly, so let's just leave it at home or in our family celebrations. really annoying.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:13 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]i'm with you on this one.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:19 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]me too
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:58 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
interestinly, atheists aren't interested in pushing their POV on others, or finding gimmicks or made up stories from ancient times to celebrate. its the religious people who are so strongly motivated to enlighten us all
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:18 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
what are you saying exactly? are you being snarky (likely) or agreeing with OP? if its a problem, what is the solution?
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:06 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]i'm saying they are turning any discussion of religion or philosophy into a bad thing but multiculturalism into a good thing. so they have to change religious observance into a cultural observance. but the atheists, who have a...lack of observance...have no culture to share. no tree, no lights, etc. so they get left out of the multiculturalism.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:14 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]yes, and it is not a good thing to do at school. my dc does not like being left out. if we lived in alabama, only christmas would be on the agenda. many in the class know this, and have thus signed up 3 times to discuss channukah
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:22 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]the teacher should really just tell parents "thanks, but we already had someone come in".
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:24 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I'm an atheist too and I've found discussions of various religious, cultural traditions just fine, esp at this time of year.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 07:59 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]yes, but not everyone is comfortable with it. I think if its a question, or if some kids will feel left out, or like they are different, it should not be done at school. if 4 kids in a class of 16 had no mother, then the school might not celebrate mother's day. its about being sensitive to kids. all the religious kids have ways to celebrate outside of school. i prefer they not involve my dc, or make him feel bad for not having this sort of tradition.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:30 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np. Another atheist here, and I feel the same way. In my dd's class parents have come in to do presentations for Advent, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Three Kings Day, and a couple of others I can't remember. Some non-religious parents have also come in to do traditional projects with the kids; they made a gingerbread house, someone else came and did a project about snowflakes.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:43 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]nnp-another atheist, and I agree with OP. don't want dc to feel bad that we don't celebrate these holidays.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:55 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]sounds like cathedral. looked on their website as we are applying this year. seems all the pictures are of some religious celebration...most non christian
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 09:03 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
i don't have a problem with people sharing their cultural traditions. in fact, i think it's a good lesson for dcs. it's not like they're bringing in crosses or torahs. this is cultural, not religious imo.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:01 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I think its a fine distinction. how is it not religious? If I tell my dcs christmas is the birthday of christ, the christian son of god, then I am exposing him to religious ideas. ditto for the other holidays.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:04 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]jesus christ was a historical figure, just as mohammed and buddha were. there's no reason to call him the son of god if you don't believe that. jesus christ! so to speak.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:07 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]can't we all just go to church or temple without stuffing latkes down everyone's throats?
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:10 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]LOLOL! I love you!!!
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:12 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]learning about different cultures is part of a dc's education imo. you seem to see this as some sort of threat. it actually helps teach tolerance, inclusion, awareness of other cultures. it's the dcs who never eat a latke who whisper about the dirty jews.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:14 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I am assuming dc will be taught history and social studies. I do not want religious celebrations to be pushed on them. period.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:26 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np - When you study history and literature especially, a knowledge of various religious beliefs is very useful.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:40 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]and I am saying that it would be appropriate to teach these things in this context when the kids are old enough to utilize the concepts intellectually. what I object to is trying to expose them to it when they are very young and have no real intellectual context. it feels like prostheletizing, and it serves to set them apart from their peers. i don't think it is appropriate for young dcs to be forced to celebrate others' religious holidays in a secular school.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:44 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]if you could actually learn to spell i'd take you more seriously. talk up to dcs, not down to them, and don't worry about what they can "utilize" intellectually. latkes are not "prostheletizing" no matter what you think. neither is this a dividing thing that sets dcs apart. it's actually a sharing thing that brings them together.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 02:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
um, latkes actually have nothing to do with temples, you ignornant little twat.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:18 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]yikes! you sound a tad unhinged. please don't choke on those latkes...or words.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:25 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]um...latkes have something to do with eating things cooked in oil, which represents something in the hannukah story. why not just light candles and say a little prayer while you are at it?
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 05:43 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]HANUKAH IS NOT A RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY! it is not really considered much of a holiday for real orthodox jews. it is more of a traditional thing that has been taken to another level in the US because of the "competition" with Christmas
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 07:18 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]yes it is a religious holiday. it commemorates the rededication of the second temple in jerusalem during the maccabean revolt. there are rules regarding its observance in the talmud.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:11 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]which is why it should be left out of schools.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 12:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]believe it or not, a latke is not an instrument of religious (or in your case, secular) persecution. nor is a christmas tree. they are cultural symbols. totally harmless and not inappropriate in school if the context is sharing cultural traditions. i'm amazed you're so angry and threatened by this. the fact that you have to put "share" in quotation marks speaks volumes about what a shriveled little soul you have.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 02:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you are an idiot clearly, and cannot understand why people who are not religious object to religion being taught to their dcs at school. you can only see how valuable your religion is, and clearly feel entitled to "share" it with anyone you feel like. the self importance and self deception are astounding among religious people. religious persecution is real, and those of us who don't share in your beliefs feel we are being put in an awkward (at best) and unfair position when you subject our kids to your rituals and beliefs.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 03:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
no one said anything about jesus. as far as you know, the parents are bringing in cookies and tinsel and a rudolf dvd.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:09 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np: our school also does kwanza. have yet to meet a person IRL who actually celebrates it. lol!
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:11 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]On the other hand, mainstream media surely isn't shoving non-Christian material down our throats. The Noggin on Demand "holiday" programs are all Christmas-themed. Might be nice to include one non-Christian program there for families that don't celebrate Christmas.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:44 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]we saw a hannukah "Arthur" and one other. frankly, I don't need my dcs to have this forced upon them at school. I think your post reveals some competitive feelings about christmas. don't like either being celebrated at school, and you would not like to be at a school that celebrated only christmas. how about we just keep religion out of school altogether, unless it is a religious school.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 08:48 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]NP: maybe that is why some of these parents are going beserk with the latkes. worried christmas is getting too much attention on noggin, so multiple visits to the school with latkes seems necessary.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 09:01 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
And here's my point... I don't want my kids involved in a Christmas Celebration that excludes Jesus Christ. (You can secularize it all you want in your own home but in my family, Christmas is a religious holiday.) -Roman Catholic below
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 12:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
similar situation and I was annoyed - thought the "lesson plan" should be approved by teaching staff...not just agree to let the mom's push whatever propaganda/agenda they have on my kid without an educator opining on first....
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 09:00 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]yes, but would you have fought it? seems the propaganda moms are a powerful force. obvious here. they keep pushing the idea that you are anti cultural, anti semitic and on and on. maybe we are just anti religion in secular schools. certainly , public schools should not allow this. but I feel too bulllied by the religious mass to object. perhaps someone should bring it up with the administration anonymously.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 05:36 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
My feelings are, "If you acted more christian, maybe you wouldn't have to talk so much about what it means to be a Christian." (But I'm kind of an asshole.)
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 06:06 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]The teacher sounds like s/he is not controlling the situation. If one week is given to celebrating holidays and each religion is represented, great. If it tips too much towards one religion at the expense of others, then I can understand the build in resentment.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 06:21 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]the teacher in this situation seems like she has caved for parents worried about representing hannuka, but I think OP has an issue with religion in the schools in general, not the jewish vs christian issue
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 06:55 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I think that the school should set up ground rules and figure out a way to include everyone in a balanced way that lets them control the situation. At my daycare, they devoted this week to Christmas and next week are doing some Hannukah stuff and they let the parents know this ahead of time. They sent us a note telling us to speak with them directly about our concerns. The daycare is very diverse. There are people that don't celebrate either holiday, a few kids that celebrate both, and a few kosher kids.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 06:22 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]we do not want our kids celebrating religious holidays at school. we are not religious and it feels like it is being imposed on our dcs.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 06:54 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Why don't you set-up a day to talk about your own shit (materialism, witchcraft, deism, whatever), instead of trying to prevent everyone else from doing so. Seriously, maybe you can even convert some kids to wiccan
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 07:00 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]we are not religious, and do not feel a need to make up stuff. I don't understand your hostility. schools should respect all of the students, not just those celebrating judeo christian holidays.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 07:05 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]OR: I actually agree with you about not imposing Judeo-christian things ONLY...but I'm sure you have SOME belief system, some philosophy. Many atheists are Humanists and believe in "inalienable rights" and talk about the Declaration of Independence. I'm sure you can find something empowering/positive to talk about. So EVERYONE (vs. NO ONE) is included
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 07:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I do not want to dream up things to come in and discuss with the kids to feel included. Not even sure if the school would allow it, and at best it would make me into a PITA. I don't want to do that. I think that saying I am the one who has to figure something out just shows how entitled and inconsiderate people who do this are. I lose no matter which way I go. object, and I am some sort of anti religious nut. create a lecture on inalienable rights for the holiday party and I am a loon. please just don't put others in this situation.. schools should ban
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 12:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
wow! another crazy on this thread. wondered when you would come out of the woodwork.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 07:08 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]OR: I respect atheists. I'm agnostic myself...BUT I really don't like it when people try to prevent others from sharing their culture/beliefs.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 07:10 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]people can celebrate all they want outside of school we do not have a comparable thing to share, and I am not about to start inventing any. I don't understand why the school cannot just stick to holidays like TG, MLK day and the like...the secular ones that everyone celebrates. why do religious people feel a need to impose this. doing so is not respecting our kids. asking us to ivent something comparable is beyond ridiculous.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 07:14 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Well if you have NOTHING of substance that you can share that's fine. Until then you have to deal with the fact that in a Democratic society where people have the Right of free speech and the desire to share...they will do it. In our public they sing Chunakkah, Christmas, Hispanic and Kwanzaa songs. If you don't like it I suggest Homeschooling
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 07:17 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]What about those people who believe that any of these celebrations are idolatrous and proscribed? They don't have a right to their beliefs? What about those who think religion is a weak crutch for simpleminded people? Should they get up and make their point? I have no problem with you (or anyone) teaching your kids whatever you want to teach them. That is what the other 18 hours of the day and the weekend and the >140 days they are not in school can be used for.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:22 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]First of all, denigrating other people's belief's is NOT OK. Do you have anything ethnic to celebrate?? Like Souvlaki day if you're Greek or Soumosas day if you're Indian? or UN day if you're into Universal rights, or Animal Rights day? Nothing?I mean aren't you guys happy about Anything in life??
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:38 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I'm a Roman Catholic. My kid goes for religious education at our church. BUT there are many faiths that forbid these kinds of celebrations. You can't accommodate them AND celebrate. They are mutually exclusive. I also don't want some watered down Christmas-lite about Santa taught. I'll teach my kid about my faith, you teach yours about your faith, etc. If we all do that, the teachers can focus on reading, writing, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 10:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I never said that schools should TEACH religion...I talked about CELEBRATING Holidays with food and songs, in an atmosphere of friendship and mutual respect (respect for others' holidays does not mean shared beliefs obviously). That's a huge difference. I do agree with you that religion should not be taught in school
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry, but forcing non-believing kids to celebrate a religious holiday or moment is teaching them. it is not appropriate in school unless the school is religious, certainly not public school.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 12:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Roman Catholic again: Call it celebrating or call it teaching but when it happens in school, kids see it the same way. My kid's class had a tree celebration last year. They were told about coniferous trees and deciduous trees. The fact it was called a celebration though did not keep them from learning all about evergreen trees and oaks. And, again, what do you do about the kids whose religions PROHIBIT those kids of celebrations?
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 12:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I agree. People think that its all Ok if some want it, but we also do not like the idea of teaching a watered down version of christmas at school trivializes it, and focus is sort of pop culture.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 01:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
For the record, I am the OR (that wrote about daycare) and didn't write anything additional on this thread. I would recommend the anti-holiday poster go on vacation for December.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 12:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]for the recod, you are an ass. how about I come in and teach your dcs a lesson in government and the need to separtate church and state to avoid persecution? perhaps they can carve out some time at the holiday party, and if YOU don't like it, you can go on vacation.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 02:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think it's OK to do one thing for each holiday but not more than that. One per each is enough. And BTW I'm an former J, now athiest, married to a Catholic. We do Christmas, Channukah and Solstice and DD knows Mom does not dig religion but Dad does. It can work if everyone is cool about it and does not try to impose. Live and let live!
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 07:19 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Wow. Reading these posts, I suddenly totally get why our elemenary (Manhattan School for Children) does not allow any holiday celebrations.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:41 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Yup..raising ignorant kids, one kid at a time
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:42 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]the parents can teach what they want about this stuff. there is a separation of church and state in our country, and it should be respected in public schools. if you feel a need to go about sharing your beliefs with people, become an evangelist or missionary. but leave your beliefs at home. i do not want my dc being propagandized by you.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 12:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ours doesn't either, and i like it too. we deal with this stuff at home.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 09:45 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]as it should be. schools that allow this likely have a large vocal group pushing their agenda on everyone, and no one has the guts to stand up for what is right.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 12:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, to be fair some are avowdedly christian or jewish or whatever.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 12:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, and they should teach and celebrate with their dcs at home. this moral majority stance of forcing others to learn their beliefs is awful, and should not happen in public schools.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 01:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i was referring to schools that are avowedly religious, not public schools. but i agree with you entirely.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 02:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] SAHM's in NYC, do you the cooking and cleaning too or do you have help? I'm a SAHM an... 35 replies
- NP: I love this attitude from SAHMs. Do you seriously think that someone doesn't have parenting responsiblities, just because they have a job? The average WOHM has childcare only during the hours she is at work (daycare) and is responsble for the lion's share of childcare and household responsiblities during the hours she is not. It's not an issue of better or worse like you and the OR are trying to make it - just a simple fact that a...
Talk : : December 10, 2008
SAHM's in NYC, do you the cooking and cleaning too or do you have help? I'm a SAHM and am finding that it's nearly impossible to get it all done. Any advice?
35 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.10.08, 06:02 PM [ Flag ]get a job.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:03 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np: I'm a sahm too. I worked for 25 yrs and now I'm enjoying my last little guy who is 7. Is it your business to tell OP to "get a job"? Jealous much?
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:09 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]funny how wohm manage to work AND get it all done. just sayin. not jealous at all.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:10 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]so you didn't intend to sound judgemental you were just making a suggestion to Op that since busy WOHM manage to get it all done (as in if you want something done go to the busiest person you can find) she should get a job? hmmm.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:14 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]you are right, she doesn't sound capable of juggling all of that. good point.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:16 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]so glad I don't know you. Women in your generation always give themselves away by their vitriol.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:21 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]what - women in their 30s who work and have kids?
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:23 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
np Wow. So you can be two places at once? You're NOT "doing it all" if you've got kids you need help to care for.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:14 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]except that you're not raising your kid? that's not getting it all done.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 07:04 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]NP: I love this attitude from SAHMs. Do you seriously think that someone doesn't have parenting responsiblities, just because they have a job? The average WOHM has childcare only during the hours she is at work (daycare) and is responsble for the lion's share of childcare and household responsiblities during the hours she is not. It's not an issue of better or worse like you and the OR are trying to make it - just a simple fact that a woman that has a job has one more thing to juggle than a woman that does not.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 07:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
lol
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 07:19 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I have one...I'm raising my child. Luckily, I am able to be at home right now.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]pay no attention to the granny troll. She sounds ancient and bitter.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:10 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]not ancient, not bitter, just capable of multi tasking better than OP i guess.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:12 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]not sure how you can make that statment with such limited information but you're getting off on this so I won't get in your way nana.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:16 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
then "do your job" and clean the place and cook. part of the "deal".
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]sounds like your job is being a sanctimonious douche.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 07:09 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
get a cleaning service
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:09 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Agreed. Although we do not do this right now because of finances. Instead I clean and prep meals every night after kids go to bed.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:12 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I had one and then thought that I could do it on my own. I think it might be time to set something up again.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:13 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
No help. I need a cleaning person, but it's hard to find legal immigrants who do this type of work (I'm here on a Green Card). So, my apt is often messy.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:12 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]use a service
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 07:10 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
curious why this is only directed at nyc moms?
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:13 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I just had to pick the location and NYC is where I am. I'm new to the board and didn't know I could pick multiple cities.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:14 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
It is hard. I've had to relax my standards of cleanliness. If there are a couple of crumbs under the table or a few dustbunnies around I don't even notice anymore. Just do what you can. Don't worry.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:16 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]How old are your dcs?
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:21 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]2 and another on the way
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:25 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]well, soon the 2 yo will be in some part time school and you will have a break then. the infant will cause less of a mess, but take more time. is it the cooking or the cleaning that is hard to get to while dc naps? you could try to outsource that?
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:28 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]it's the cleaning! i think it's time to hire a weekly cleaner again. if it were a smaller apt. i could manage but we have 3 bathrooms/2 bedrooms (not that i'm complaining!) and it just takes time that i don't seem to have. i don't have a regular babysitter so there is no "off" time.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:32 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]except during naptime or before she/he wakes up.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:33 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]exactly...but i'm not interested in waking up early to clean (although it's a legitimate option) and i do a bit of picking up at nap time but i also like to check emails and take a moment for myself.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:37 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]you could also get someone to take dc to the park a day or two a week and do your chores then. or vice versa.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i work very pt (2 half days) in order to pay for my ft help. i am much less stressed and better mom. and i see no reason why i should clean if i can pay somebody to do it. it doesnt make you a better mom or better person.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 07:20 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]i usually clean while dc is napping or playing in playard. i'm very efficient so it doesn't take a lot of time, and i split things up among different days rather than do everything all in one day. i usually cook in the late afternoons, dishes that don't need a huge amount of prep and can be left in oven or on stove. i also occasionally buy proteins that have already been marinated or prepped, and then just take care of sides. it helps, i guess, that dc is under 1 yr and not mobile. but as we go forward i will just have to adapt.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 09:48 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]There are different types of help. At 2, dc is old enough to put away toys and hang clothes on hooks. Dh & dc's know I expect them to put things away, which helps a lot. Dc's sit in the high chair or at the table before eating, which keeps the apt. stain-free. Weekly cleaning service cleans apt. & changes beds. Local laundry does dh's shirts. They wash & fold bed/bath linens & family laundry that's not delicate. Dc & I do delicate laundry & grocery shop 2x/week. Groceries are delivered. I prep dinner before dh comes home from work. We cook & clean the dinner dishes together. A friend & I watch each other's dc's 1x/week so we can keep up w/mani, pedi, etc. Walking w/dc's is our exercise. We don't belong to a gym b/c we'd rather use that money for cleaning & laundry help. I hope that helps you w/ideas. GL.
[ Reply | Options ]12.11.08, 07:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I am a WOHM, husband works from home, we have a nanny, and the dd is adorable, engage... 3 replies
- I've been a SAHM, I've been a WOHM, I've had a nanny, I've used daycare, my DH has been a SAHD. Pros and cons to all of the above, but more for the parents than the DC, at least IME. My DC have always seemed happy and they've always done well....
Talk : : December 10, 2008
I am a WOHM, husband works from home, we have a nanny, and the dd is adorable, engaged and mellow. Chill ladies.
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.10.08, 05:57 PM [ Flag ]was this in response to something or did you just feel the need to share?
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I've been a SAHM, I've been a WOHM, I've had a nanny, I've used daycare, my DH has been a SAHD. Pros and cons to all of the above, but more for the parents than the DC, at least IME. My DC have always seemed happy and they've always done well.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]so you're like many of us...and your point would be?
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 06:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] curious about the private school process -- is it like college, where you apply to a ... 4 replies
- It may depend on your child's preschool. Some connected preschool directors broker kids to get one acceptance. Sometimes kids from daycare get more acceptances....
Talk : : December 10, 2008
curious about the private school process -- is it like college, where you apply to a bunch of school and could end up with several acceptance letters? Or is it more like a matching kind of system?
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]12.10.08, 10:51 AM [ Flagged ]It's not a match (like medical school or residency for doctors). I wish it were. It seems from UB that some get multiple accepts and some get shut-out, and all of us are in a fog of anxiety about it.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 11:05 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]It's like the former
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 11:07 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]It's a brutal, ultra competitive process where 2500+ kids (and growing) try to get into 70 or so private, ongoing schools. At least 500 kids will be completely shut out for 2009-2010.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 11:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It may depend on your child's preschool. Some connected preschool directors broker kids to get one acceptance. Sometimes kids from daycare get more acceptances.
[ Reply | Options ]12.10.08, 11:22 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
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