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[+] am turning 42 next month - totally on the fence about trying for a 2nd. am i too old/... 7 replies
- I'd decide if you really want to parent a second child first. If the answer's yes, there are ways to get a child even if nature doesn't comply. You could adopt. I'd rather risk the hassle of adoption, fertility treatments, etc. than have a child just in case I want one down the road....
Talk : : November 12, 2008
am turning 42 next month - totally on the fence about trying for a 2nd. am i too old/crazy or both?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.12.08, 08:36 PM [ Flagged ]Know someone who just gave birth to #2 at 43. You can try it if you really want to!
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 08:39 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]me too. personally, i think it's a bit nuts, but that might be because when i was born, my grandmother was 44.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:03 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I'd decide if you really want to parent a second child first. If the answer's yes, there are ways to get a child even if nature doesn't comply. You could adopt. I'd rather risk the hassle of adoption, fertility treatments, etc. than have a child just in case I want one down the road.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:05 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]yeah but at 42 there really isn't a "down the road"
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:22 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Why do you want another? how old current DCs? Do you want a toddler in your mid- to late 40s? Can you afford an active, intelligent nanny to help out?
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Tons of people have a child at 42. It can be harder to get pg, but it's easier if you've been pg before. My grandmother had my mom when she was 44.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] do you think that competitiveness is taught by the parents ? 8 replies
- agree. I know an adopted girl who is the most competitive person I've ever seen and her parents could not be more laid back....
Talk : : November 12, 2008
do you think that competitiveness is taught by the parents ?
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.12.08, 09:38 AM [ Flag ]I think it's a combination of parents, peers, media.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Absolutely. Mainly by ego-maniacs that have not discovered that you are not your accomplishments and that people should live their lives independent of the good/bad opinion of other people.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]My dc is super competitve and it is completely not in my or dh's blood. We try to tone it down but it's in his blood.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ditto. Came out of the womb that way. Still shocking to me at times.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think there's healthy competition, which is wanting to do one's personal best, and unhealthy competition which is driven by envy, pettiness and low-self esteem. I think kids may be born with the 1st or have it instilled in them, but the 2nd type is always learned.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITD. There's actually research on this from twin studies. Type A personality has a very strong genetic component.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 11:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
After having observed my dc and others for 5 years, I firmly believe that competitiveness is an ingrained part of human nature. Listen to the conversation of two three year olds, for example, and you hear them trying to "one up" each other. Or look at sibling relationships and how competitive even the closest siblings are. Having said that, I think parents can try to tamp it down (although I'm not sure how successfully), and they can definitely make it worse.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 10:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]agree. I know an adopted girl who is the most competitive person I've ever seen and her parents could not be more laid back.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 10:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Is your mother's (or sister's if you have one) experience with pregnancy a good indic... 10 replies
- no, I have never seen a picture of her pregnant (which led me to believe for a long time as a child that I was adopted), and she had an older brother but they're not close. My grandmother is alive but doesn't "speak about things like that" and also doesn't really remember much (she is 91)...
Talk : : November 10, 2008
Is your mother's (or sister's if you have one) experience with pregnancy a good indicator of how pregnancy will be for you? I.e. if you're the same approximate build as your mom, and she didn't gain a lot of weight, didn't have trouble losing it, her feet stayed the same size, etc., can you deduce that you'll likely have a similar experience? I can't speak with my mom about TTC, and my sister is adopted, but I'd love to know what her experience was like so I can know a bit of what to expect.
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.10.08, 02:23 PM [ Flag ]i didn't have an experience like my mom's. why cant you talk to her about her pregnancy?
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 02:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]because she passed away last year. are you and your mom similar in build?
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 02:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry about your mom (sounded like you had a fight...). We are fairly similar, though she is a little taller than I am.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 02:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. My mom and I were very similar, but I am a little taller than she was!
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 02:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]do you have any pictures of her pg? that might help. or an aunt or someone who knew her then? i bet they would love to remember those days with you.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 02:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no, I have never seen a picture of her pregnant (which led me to believe for a long time as a child that I was adopted), and she had an older brother but they're not close. My grandmother is alive but doesn't "speak about things like that" and also doesn't really remember much (she is 91)
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 02:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I don't think so at all. My mother had extremely bad morning sickness with all 4 of her pg's, and I have had virtually none. (I'm pg with #1). I think she didn't gain much weight for that reason; I expect I will gain a normal amount. Other friends of mine have also spoken of having wildly different experiences than their mothers, and even, than themselves! In other words, pg#1 may be totally different than pg#2 for the same woman.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 02:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ok, thanks. Just wondering, since I don't have any way of finding out... I just wanted to get some idea of what it might be like, but oh well!
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 02:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
we both had morning sickness. I lost all the weight within 9 mos. my mother never really lost it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 02:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know lots of people who have had two or more totally different pgs themselves let alone comparing themselves to others. I doubt there is much if any correlation between mother/daughter pgs.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 03:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I read in one of those gossip magazines that Angelina Jolie is PG again, so it may be... 11 replies
- no, not many . One in 10 . Last month they were adopting again. Last week she was leaving him...
Talk : : November 10, 2008
I read in one of those gossip magazines that Angelina Jolie is PG again, so it may be just gossip, but if true, what is wrong with her??
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.10.08, 10:55 AM [ Flag ]if it is true.. she is nuts. AND not married
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 10:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what's the married part got to do with it?
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 10:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]if brad leaves her, she'd be a single mom to a million kids
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 10:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]from a psychological perspective, her having so many kids is a way of making sure he does not leave her with all these kids.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 11:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what is wrong with a single mom? btw, she was a single mom before Brad came into her life.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 11:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
COme on, another mag said that Jen Aniston is pregnant with twins for her. There is a reason they are called trash mags
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 10:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yet, somehow many of them turn out to be true.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 10:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]no, not many . One in 10 . Last month they were adopting again. Last week she was leaving him......
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 10:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
So, how many children can someone have to be normal in your mind? And how close together?
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 10:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think it's different for everyone, but 4 months after the birth of twins seems a bit much too me.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 11:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Irish twins anyone?
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 11:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I have 2 yr old twins and another 1 baby on the way in March. I have two frozen embi... 15 replies
- it's funny but Ihave gotten a lecture from friends about how there are "enough" people in the world and I shouldn't have any more!!! Is this really something to think about? This friend also told me to adopt if I want more!...
Talk : : November 10, 2008
I have 2 yr old twins and another 1 baby on the way in March. I have two frozen embies left. WOuld you try to use them or not? not using them would mean disposal or donating for stem cell research. we are not interested in donation to another couple.
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.10.08, 09:00 AM [ Flag ]I would donate to research.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 09:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]that's what I am thinking....it seems a waste to dispose of them when they can go to research
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 09:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
do you want more children?
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 09:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't know yet
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 09:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you have to decide that before you decide what to do with the ice tots.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 09:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you're right, thanks, I think I will store them for not and see where things stand in a year...
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 09:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
OP: you know soemthing...it's funny but Ihave gotten a lecture from friends about how there are "enough" people in the world and I shouldn't have any more!!! Is this really something to think about? This friend also told me to adopt if I want more!
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 09:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]nice friend.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 09:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sounds like my sister! That's what she said to me after my recent mc. What's wrong with people?!!! FWIW, I think you ought to hold on to your embies until you're sure.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 09:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]oh boy, very unenlightened sister. Do you already have a child or two. maybe that was how she could make you feel better, hah
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 09:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I already have one ds. She thinks that should be enough. (She's workaholic, currently destroying her marriage, no kids, etc.)
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 09:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yikes! I will you all the best in trying to conceive #2!!!
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 10:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thank you! Currently in the 2ww, so we'll see..
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 10:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
While I uderstand the sentiment, I think it's rude to express it to someone else in such a personal situation. IMHO, I think more than 3 kids per family is a lot, but that's just me.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 09:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]it is alot. My shrink always says "have as many as you want as long as you can afford to educate them", in the city that is hard! I am in Boston, 4 kids probably means moving to the burbs, but Boston has alot of great public schools in the burbs
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 09:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Since I've been pregnant(15 weeks)I cannot stand my DH's sister's petty BS anymore. N... 22 replies
- upfront can cause a lot more 'ill feelings' than being confrontational(open) by setting limits. Suburbia or not, it would would be fairly normal to communicate with her. Is this a psychic woman? As for her parents' opinion of her, watch out adopting their perspectives-they had to raise her. If you ever really DO have a less than pretty confrontation with her, it would be typical to find yourself on 'the outs' with them, too....
Talk : : November 08, 2008
Since I've been pregnant(15 weeks)I cannot stand my DH's sister's petty BS anymore. Normally I can just humor her. For instance, she loves to come over without notice and let her toddlers use our bathroom. She has a fear of public toilets. I hate being confrontational or causing ill feelings within the family. Do I just need to grow a pair and tell her what time it is, or am I being irrational? By the way, I'm in suburbia, not the city.
22 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.08.08, 10:13 AM [ Flagged ]What's the big deal about her coming over and using your bathroom?
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 10:28 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]It's becoming a habit and I like my privacy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 10:33 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Can you just not answer the door?
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 10:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I tried that, but she waited ten minutes, then called DH who was coming home for lunch & let her in. During that time I got in the shower only to be greeted by one of her rugrats pounding on the bathroom door to get in as I'm coming out. (We only have one bathroom) Isn't the more important question 'Why can't she use a public toilet?'
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 10:43 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Public toilets should be used only as a very very very last resort as you'll soon find out when DB arrives.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 10:46 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]NP: Public toilets don't bother me a bit. Carry loads of tissue, wipes, and Purell.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 10:47 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]My DS loooveeeees to touch every and anything - ick!
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 10:48 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Why?
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 10:47 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
"Rugrats?" You lost my sympathy there.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 10:46 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
You will soon have a DC and realise how much slack you'll need from others. Try to be more tolerant.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 10:39 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I couldn't have said it better myself. I cannot believe how intolerant OP is here. I would do the same thing to my SIL, and I would give my SIL the key so she can do the same to me.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 10:45 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]What about respect if it bothers someone that much?
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 10:51 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]This is her DH's niece(s)/nephew(s), not strangers.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 10:58 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]That is true but this woman is incredibly entitled and rude acting in every dealing with others. I guess I am just fed up.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 11:01 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
The Universe is coming to get you-You're pregnant! You're so clueless...
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 10:57 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Lay it on me oh wisest oracle.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 10:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It won't be me-Mother Nature is the great equalizer. You'll be using seats just to be in an air conditioned StarBucks and not buying a coffee,enjoying the kindness of strangers, friends and family, spending way too long in public washrooms because of some need your child has,welcome the chance for adult companionship and all the other stuff you think is BS today.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 12:30 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]That is fine but I think you are making a lot of assumptions about I think. I look forward to the scales falling from my eyes and the ensuing maturity... but what does that have to do with my arrogant SIL treating my house like a gas station whenever she likes? Her own parents think she is terribly selfish. You seem very patronizing and one-sided.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 12:50 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Well I guess your description of the bs seemed like pretty petty stuff and falls under a typical heading of familiarity and family behavior. If you haven't set boundaries by letting her know you'd like a call before she shows up, then you're not being realistic. BTW, not being upfront can cause a lot more 'ill feelings' than being confrontational(open) by setting limits. Suburbia or not, it would would be fairly normal to communicate with her. Is this a psychic woman? As for her parents' opinion of her, watch out adopting their perspectives-they had to raise her. If you ever really DO have a less than pretty confrontation with her, it would be typical to find yourself on 'the outs' with them, too.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 01:15 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Thank you for your opinion. BTW, she does know how I feel and I meant suburbia in the sense that public BRs are more readily available than (I assume) in the city.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 01:33 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
That would annoy me as well. I don't understand why you're getting flack. But I have a big beef with toilet-phobes because I know 95% of the time they are seat tinklers. "Public toilets are disgusting. Therefore I will piss all over the seat and floor."
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 01:29 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]lol, thanks
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 01:35 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
[+] Every day Math was adopted my many public schools because sooo many public schools ki... 29 replies
- other people's kids stupid. That aside, EDM was adopted by so many public schools because public school bureaucrats routinely adopt curricula for political reasons and reasons of expedience rather than for sound pedagogical reasons. EDM...
- Everyday Math was adopted because the elementary school teachers are mostly math-phobic...agree with poster above who said curricula are adopted for political reasons rather than for true teaching...
Talk : : November 07, 2008
Every day Math was adopted my many public schools because sooo many public schools kids do not have the capacity for abstract thinking. EDM for example does NOT teach long-division, or multiplication with regrouping, or formulas to find the area of a triangle...It truly is to help stupid kids understand math
29 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.07.08, 07:07 PM [ Flagged ]but, it seems that more privates use it (with tutors) and public do the drills.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 07:15 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Of course it is. I sometimes think progressive ed was made up for "stupid" kids also.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 07:16 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Then why is Hunter progressive? And Dalton too?
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 08:26 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]It's just the opposite. Progressive ed is more of an inductive reasoning process; dc must make inferences and connect the dots to construct a "big picture" understanding based on what they're doing in the classroom. It also only works well w/ dc who come in with a lot of cultural capital from sources outside the classroom.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 08:42 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]> On the other hand, I do think progressive ed can be used to mask the fact that academically below-par dc aren't really learning much.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 09:04 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
However, if it is taught in a way it is then supplemented with the algorithms, it can make math understanding powerful. The problem is the public schools, and some of the privates, don't take that extra step.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 07:18 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]i think you have a point, but i may have to disagree with you on this one. saw this program in action at a public in ct and a class full of 6th graders just didn't get it. you can't do algebra if you don't know your multiplication tables...
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 07:19 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]You sound lovely, calling other people's kids stupid. That aside, EDM was adopted by so many public schools because public school bureaucrats routinely adopt curricula for political reasons and reasons of expedience rather than for sound pedagogical reasons. EDM is not good for dc who need the most help academically. Those are the dc who benefit most from EXPLICIT instruction. Constructivist approaches may be hands-on and make people feel good because the math seems more warm and fuzzy, but they require dc to reinvent the wheel, so to speak. Which, if the dc isn't all that bright, is not going to happen. The dc are supposed to discover or construct an understanding of all these abstract principles by playing math games, drawing pictures, writing and talking about a small number of math problems, and then generalize those principles to other real world situations. It doesn't work. The other problem with EDM, and TERC to an even greater extent, is that there's too much "communicating" about math built in the curriculum. They turn math into language arts. But most academically struggling dc have poor verbal skills, so this makes it even harder for them to get to the math.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 07:31 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]> The dc are supposed to discover or construct an understanding of all these abstract principles by playing math games, drawing pictures, writing and talking about a small number of math problems, and then generalize those principles to other real world situations. It doesn't work. The other problem with EDM, and TERC to an even greater extent, is that there's too much "communicating" about math built in the curriculum. They turn math into language arts. But most academically struggling dc have poor verbal skills, so this makes it even harder for them to get to the math.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 07:33 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]agree. the smart kids are bored by the laborious approach, and the less smart don't make te connections between the stories and the math.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 07:40 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]ITA, it's a waste of time for most smart dc in addition to not working well for most not-so-smart dc. I think there is a group of average dc for whom it works reasonably well, and it's a case of teaching to the middle. A good example of why I wish schools would bring back tracking.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 08:49 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]ITA. Who in the world does EDM benefit? Clearly, no group of children benefit from it. Was it put into place on an ideological whim?
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 04:00 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Interesting. My ds does Everyday Math in his public -- 4th grade. It's true he never had to memorize multiplication tables. On the other hand, he can figure out any multiple, even though he's never had to memorize it so he just knows it instantly (i.e, 8x3 he often says "8, 16, 24" then he knows it.) I always thought the point was that since kids now use calculators, it's better that they understand the concept rather than memorize, since calculators do that for you in real life.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 08:16 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np: sorry, i still think kids need to know the basic addition/sub/mult/div facts.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 08:31 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]My kid never memorized any facts but know how to do addition/subtraction/multiplication/division by 4 yo.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 08:35 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]If he has to skip count up to the answer using the multiples it doesn't sound as if he knows it instantly. As for whether it's worth memorizing, I guess it depends on what you see as the point of him learning math now. If you want him to go to college and have the option of passing even a basic calculus course, which is a requirement for virtually every science-related major and others, then he needs to memorize this stuff. And the sooner the better.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 08:57 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Everyday Math was adopted because the elementary school teachers are mostly math-phobic themselves and don't know how to teach math.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 08:34 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]nah. agree with poster above who said curricula are adopted for political reasons rather than for true teaching reasons.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 08:37 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np. I think OR has a point and it is a political reason. The teachers ARE math phobic and not good at teaching it, and the teachers union exerts an influence over which curricula are adopted.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.08, 08:52 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
i have a 2 yo and have never heard of this before. it is truly frightening and i am actually thinking of going back to europe for her middle school and high school so she'll have a decent education. is this the case all across the US?
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 04:05 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]"many public school kids do not have the capacity for abstract thinking" - what a dump and ignorant statement!
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 04:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]and factually correct...as evidenced by the scores of more than half of NYC's public school students
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 04:50 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]the scores don't mean anything! Many kids who score low come from disadvantaged house holds. Nobody home to help with homework, no tutoring by $150/hour tutor, bad overcrowded underfunded schools, overwhelmed teachers...
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 05:01 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]that's just the excuse everybody uses. nobody helped me with homework and i certainly did not have tutor and still did very well. it depends on the culture/climate at your home and the emphasis put on education etc. which is, obviously, not a priority in some homes.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 05:56 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Most likely you were healthy enough to do your homework on you own. Many impoverished children are in poor health, lack good food or don't have enough, live in an unstable housing situation (may be evicted, are homeless, have no electricity)
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 09:14 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
np. It's not PC to say it, and you may not want to hear it, but it's the truth. Half of all dc have IQs that are below average, BY DEFINITION.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 06:45 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]low income kids do score lower at most tests. but that has nothing to do with their intelligence in general, but with a lot of other factors (not familiar with tests, activity books...)
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.08, 11:19 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
this logic is completely flawed. dd had problems with math, but outgrew it. and she scored i the 99+ percentile in abstract thinking. her problems were with decoding and working memory...and she's not stupid. she scored 95+ percentile overall and has been an honor student for the last 4 years and counting
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 05:59 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]OP is an ignorant idiot who confuses HHI and IQ. Just because one is high doesn't mean the other is. HHI gets you into a private school; IQ does not. I researched EDM, and it is an excellent math program. It is great for kids who struggle and kids who excel. Higher-level concepts are embedded in the way basic concepts are taught so that by the time the higher-level stuff is introduced, most kids find it completely intuitive and easy. It is extremely well-tested and is under constant revision. That being said, because it is so different, it is mostly poorly implemented. NYC public school teachers are given little or no training, so it is mostly done in a half-assed way. That's terrible for everybody.
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.08, 11:25 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
[+] mil is heading toward dementia. she has a dog that is now peeing all over the house. ... 4 replies
- ask friend around if they want to adopt the dog, or know of someone who would...
Talk : : November 06, 2008
mil is heading toward dementia. she has a dog that is now peeing all over the house. we need to take the dog away, it's become a health hazard. how do we do this and what do we do w/the dog?
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.06.08, 06:24 PM [ Flag ]turkey-dogs for thanksgiving!
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ask friend around if they want to adopt the dog, or know of someone who would
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 06:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i can't ask anyone to take a dog that pees everywhere.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 06:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Is the dog a specific breed?
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 06:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] What does the most brilliant person you grew up with do for a living today? 25 replies
- social worker working for major adoption agency here in nyc...
Talk : : November 06, 2008
What does the most brilliant person you grew up with do for a living today?
25 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.06.08, 01:33 PM [ Flagged ]Pathologist
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 01:33 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]she stares at me every day in the mirror.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 01:34 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]so, does nothing basically
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 01:34 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]pretty much. married well, i'd say.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 01:37 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]To bad he's fucking me 3 times a week.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 01:40 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]um, unfortunately, he died a year ago, but thanks.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 01:40 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Librarian
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 01:34 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]lives in a small house in Ireland and plays the bouzouki
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 01:35 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]died young of stomach cancer
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 01:36 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]novelist
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 01:38 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Top three people in my HS class ended up as unemployed or underemployed PhDs... The kids in the middle of the class actually did much better.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 01:40 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]in prison.. unibomber
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 01:54 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]psych wards are full of 99's
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 01:55 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Stand-up comedian. Always super smart. Eventually went to Yale law school. Dropped out after one semester and is now one of the funniest women on the local comedy circuit. And she still is a foot smarter than the rest of the planet. Tee. Hee.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 02:06 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Died of AIDS.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 02:13 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]a tenured professor & phd by the time she was 25; mom of three
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 02:16 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]sells sponsorships for WFUV
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 02:17 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]social worker working for major adoption agency here in nyc
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 02:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Actual rocket scientist
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 06:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know this sounds obnoxious but I was always the smartest kid in school, college etc. Today I am a stressed big-law attorney. Poor career-choice!!!
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 07:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Runs a fairly successful family business (that requires responsibility & intelligence, but neither brilliance or hard work) and spends a lot of time with his kids.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 07:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]At the age of 32 just sold her first film script and has Hollywood A-listers starring in and directing it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 07:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]is with Berkshire Hathaway in Omaha
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 07:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]unemployed wanna be screenwriter. and a recent convert to republicanism.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 08:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Live; she's 80 and has earned it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.08.08, 09:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] 41 and getting ready to do IVF again for #2. anywhere to get discounted drugs as I ha... 5 replies
- would you consider adoption?...
- NP: Adoption, sadly, is not a very affordable process a lot of the time, either...
Talk : : November 06, 2008
41 and getting ready to do IVF again for #2. anywhere to get discounted drugs as I have no insurance to cover anything this time. any tips to save money?tia
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.06.08, 11:08 AM [ Flag ]what drugs do you need> can you get them from a friend or aanother woman>>
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 11:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]don't share drugs or get discounted drugs - too dangerous... would you consider adoption?
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 11:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: Adoption, sadly, is not a very affordable process a lot of the time, either.....
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 11:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I beleive Freedom Pharmacy (online) has the cheapest price for IVF drugs when paying full-price and are quite reliable on delivery. Also ask your RE if the have any discounted meds (they usually do). Check out freegaragesale.com where they have a meds section. But you can't do paypal as paypal will forever freeze your account for buying meds. You can get cheap and sometimes free prices on IVF meds mostly sold by women who have had success with IVF or who have not had success and have moved on to other options.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 11:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]used freedom the last time when I had insurance and they were terrific. my dr. said something about tennesse or other states pharmacys???
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 12:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Pray tell. And, in all seriousness, why are so many of you crying tears of joy over ... 28 replies
- Goodness lady, there is a child in my dc's class who is AA and has two white moms (adopted) - does that make him not black? Do you think there are actually AA that have NO "white" in them? Stop and think for a second. And then tell me how you define AA. How would you classify Obama's children?...
Talk : : November 05, 2008
Pray tell. And, in all seriousness, why are so many of you crying tears of joy over Obama's win?
28 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.05.08, 07:36 PM [ Flagged ]if you have to ask, then you don't get it...tears of joy, my friend!!!!
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.08, 07:37 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Why? That a half-black man is president?
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.08, 07:38 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]ok, fine, leave me alone, i like to cry, I have tears in my eyes right now looking at dirty sexy money
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.08, 07:40 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]better than the half brained president we've had for 8 years.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 05:05 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Because it is a momentous event. The true beauty of the moment is that a qualified man is to be Commander in Chief and he happens to be black. Yes, I am thrilled to see a black president, but more than that I am thrilled that he is a smart, capable and disciplined man. I am thrilled to see so many people of all races (only 13% of the electorate that voted for him was black) as genuinely moved and inspired by him as I am. I am happy to see a black family with the kind of values I have in the White House as role models for everyone -- not just black people. I am so tired of the stereotypes and at last people see the image of blacks that has always been my reality.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.08, 08:22 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]your thrilled its a black man. He's white raised by a white mother. Since when is the presidency a racial issue. You people are useless.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.08, 08:37 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]here here! this was not a race issue for me at all. white liberals are showing their racism by turning into such
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.08, 08:40 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]it ticks me off. I'm Repulican and wasnt happy with McCain but voted for him. And then this whole Obama crap is a race thing
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.08, 08:57 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]There are two issues. Who you voted for and why. And the issue that a non white male was elected president for the first time in our history. You can't throw them both in the same pot. Even a McCain supporter can realize that a moment for the history books happened on Nov 4, 2008 and smile about that in and of itself.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 05:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
That's a very pragmatic argument to call someone useless. Actually, I am not a white liberal but I am a black democrat and have always voted democrat. I voted for Obama based on the issues and based on the fact that I trust his judgment, not because he's black. I call him black because he self-identifies as black. As the mother of a biracial child, I do not expect himself to identify as one or the other, but Obama has chosen to refer to himself as African-American and has a black wife and children which I am sure contribute to that identity. So you're saying that even though you voted for McCain based on the issues, you wouldn't have been even a little bit happy to see Sarah Palin rise to the second highest office in the nation? It wasn't about gender, but I bet you would've been proud of her. I don't feel the least bit bad about being proud that Obama pierced through the racial barrier (whether it was real or perceived) and I am still proud that educated, elegant black people will get the chance to represent the country. The whole point is this win shows that it's not about race. That's why it's so momentous. (As I said before, he had decisive support across the board among, blacks, Jews, hispanics, whites. It's about unity, not race. I'm just sorry you guys can't see it. Most of the world does.)
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.08, 08:58 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Useless? You call other people useless? How can you do that?
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 04:56 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Goodness lady, there is a child in my dc's class who is AA and has two white moms (adopted) - does that make him not black? Do you think there are actually AA that have NO "white" in them? Stop and think for a second. And then tell me how you define AA. How would you classify Obama's children?
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 05:07 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I'll bite. A barrier has been broken. There is a president with brown skin. It is a wonderful step for our nation, proof that we judge a man not by the color of his skin, but by his ability. It happened in my lifetime too! Being a part of history is an emotional thing to many people. If it didn't move you to tears that's fine too. But history was made and it is ever so cool!
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 04:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Because it's reaffirmed my faith in this country and its fundamental promise - that anyone, regardless of your background or the color of your skin, can reach for the stars. Obama's is such an improbable story and one that just couldn't happen in any other country in the world. Over the past 8 years we seemed to be turning into such an ugly caricature, with xenophobia and bitterness appearing to trump goodness and industriousness. Obama's victory, with such a wide and overwhelming base of support has shown us - and other countries around the world - that the America of our dreams is still alive.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 05:15 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Well said, and how could you not get emotional simply witnessing the raw emotion, joy, tears, hope pouring out of AA's as they heard the news. It was their face that brought me to tears, not Obamas.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 05:21 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Me too. It was beautiful to see.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 05:23 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I thought that UBers would actually be nice from now on--unfortunately, you are still here and being nasty.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 02:09 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]they're all in for a rude awakening. give it 6 months.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 02:13 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]i am so sick of this identity politics crap. do you know what is racist? assuming who somebody is voting for according to their skin. i have an african american friend who happens to be conservative and he has been through hell in this election. why is he supposed to vote for somebody who goes against everything he believes in just because he happens to be brown??!?
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 02:15 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]ITA!!!
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 02:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I actually agree with this point. I DID vote for Obama but I hated that people already assumed I would. I actually was a Hillary supporter during the primary. Anyway, if anything you could accuse me of voting for the party line if anything, but this time I thought the party was finally going in the right direction.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 04:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I don't get it either. To be honest, the adoration is scary. I almost expect Leni Riefenstahl's granddaughter to make a film about Obama and his supporters. BTW, even though I did not vote for him, I sincerely hope he has a successful presidency.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 02:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I love him and I ain't ashamed to say it. As for him identifying as AA. It was his White mom that taught him to do that. She knew people would see him as Black because that is what he saw in the mirror and she knew he wouldn't love her any less. We are still judge on the surface and label people according to what we see. Someone like Wentworth Miller, also bi-racial has caught many a White people out there covert racisim and assumptions. He even talks about it in an interview. I have no problem with him saying he's White, because darn it that is what I see when I watch Prison Break.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 02:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]so far the Dow's only down 1000 points since he won
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 02:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]but that only affects the evil wealthy, remember?
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 02:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i gotto tell that to my elderly parents who have all their money in the market. those evil, evil retirees!
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 02:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]They're retired? I'm not retired! That's not fair! Dangit!
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 03:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
and it had already priced in his victory in previous weeks...so a lot more actually.
[ Reply | Options ]11.06.08, 02:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] It's the formula that makes all these children obese. They get addicted to the sugar ... 65 replies
- So why don't you do something about it? Bottle that boob milk of yours & sell it to people who adopt or can't breastfeed for whatever reason....
- So babies that are adopted or are in orphanages are not only disadvantaged b/c they are unwanted, but they are going to be fat on top...
Talk : : August 15, 2008
It's the formula that makes all these children obese. They get addicted to the sugar young. You don't see many long term breast fed children who are obese.
65 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.15.08, 06:19 PM [ Flag ]I was a formula baby & I have been thin my entire (adult) life, 5'7'' & 105 for about 15 years now.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]topic is fat kids not thin defensive adults
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np-LMAO!! Thank You.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]actually topic is whether ff dbs are automatically obese, not your pathetic need to snark.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 05:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]eat something defensive anorexic
[ Reply | Options ]09.05.08, 04:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Me too, I am 5.7 and 140. Not been very sick and straight A student.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:24 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]see above. Let's stay on topic, It's not about you.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
no it's not. its the parents who feed their kids crap... ever look at what a chubby kids eats?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]same parents who FF kids
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]B.S.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 04:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
this is a stupid stupid, MANY kids are formula feed and are not obese or will become obese...grow up!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]question
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: Read the statement. Not all FF will be obese. But most obese children are FF. Rare to find obese BF.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]your statement says "it's the formula THAT MAKES ALL THESE CHILDREN OBESE." implies that formula MAKES ALL obese, which I know you didn't intend, but that's why you're getting these responses.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]exactly! why make such a generalized, ignorant statment????????
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 01:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
link please? or should i just go to pullingitstraightoutofmyass.com?
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 05:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]lol lol lol!!!
[ Reply | Options ]09.05.08, 04:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
So why don't you do something about it? Bottle that boob milk of yours & sell it to people who adopt or can't breastfeed for whatever reason.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It takes a village. I did my part.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks, hillary
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 01:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what does that mean? you signed up for sanctimommy.com? you suck.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 05:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
She is probably a looser who don't have anything going for her in her life. I bf but jesus lady, get a life!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:45 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Are you talking to me? Please learn to spell if you are going to attack & name call.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Don't waste time spell checking get to work bottling up that boob milk.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]your idea, your job. smelt it, dealt it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How old are you?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Am I bothered?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you don't get that do you?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
So the ff child who has exposure to sugar (which btw, I am sure is in breastmilk to some, maybe lesser extent, as well) gets addicted while the bf child who has exposure to sugar a bit later through food gets off scott free b/they had lower sugar intake until age 1? All people eat sugar, and all are vulnerable to becmoing addicted-has nothing to do with some magic first months being so critical.
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 02:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]So babies that are adopted or are in orphanages are not only disadvantaged b/c they are unwanted, but they are going to be fat on top of that?! How awful. That's for shedding light on that. Thanks for letting us know that at least your child isn't fat. Get a life lady.
[ Reply | Options ]08.18.08, 07:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It seems likely to me that the type of women who choose to breastfeed might be more likely to feed their kids healthy foods - that might be why it seems like more FF kids are overweight...
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 07:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I agree with this. Just because there is a correlation between being formula fed and being obese (if there even is) doesn't mean there is a CAUSAL relationship between the two...and the causality could go either way (e.g., families more prone to obesity tend to formula feed their babies).
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 07:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: but the research does try to control for these issues. and eventhen it shows that bf babies tend to be less obese. ebfing in the first few days/weeks alone has a big effect on future obesity. will every bf kid be skinny, or every ff one be fat? of coruse not.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i know that but most on this board seem to be confusing correlation with causation. A study about bfing could never prove causation...it's not a scientific experiment. only experiments can indicate causation. I am a scientist...
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, based on these stats. but some scientists seem to be identifying factors in breastmilk that may effect how appetite/satiety is perceived by the brain. so that's closer to causation, if its developed.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ok but not yet. And for the record, I think bf is the only way to go.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]sure. but also get bugged by people who claim that no correlationis valid because they assume its not adequately controlled.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OK, but you realize it's still just a correlation?? Correlations have NOTHING, repeat nothing to do with causation. Even when all other factors are controlled for. You don't seem to want to believe this but it is simply not debatable.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, i know that. but when people say oh, it can't be the breastmilk because its just healthy moms that bf, its really wrong as well. the poele that look at these numbers try to clean all those factors out.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ok, but not really. Clean all those factors out is called factor analysis and it's impossible to eliminate all contributing factors in a quasi-experiment. It just is, sorry, you don't have enough information about the scientific process to be explaining what the researchers who conduct these studies do...
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]note the word "try." my point is, simply, that te peole taht do studies are aware that there may be confounding factors, adn they try to get those out of the numbers. is it perfect? no.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:55 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I get it, I'm ONE of those people, as I said. It's just that you aren't characterizing the process correctly...at all.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 03:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
oy. there are many women who are not able to breastfeed but who don't force their dcs to mainline hostess ho-hos at gunpoint. i realize you have to prove yourself superior to every other mom because you bf'd, but try to control the impulse.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 05:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Breastmilk contains sugar. In fact, it's technically sweeter. And, of course, it depends on what Mom ate, unlike formula.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]but the colaric content varies. formula is always the same. and breastmilk has satiety factors (tells baby to stop eating) which are lackingin formula
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:31 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]You're proving my point. With BM, it comes down to the sugar Mom is eating. So OP's point is absurd based on its primary assumption.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:36 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]no, it doesn't. even if mom eats sugar, the caloric contens of the milk is regulated not based on what she eats, but on the baby's needs as she grows, etc. i am not aware fo studies linking the calories of breastmilk, or the sugar content, to mom's intake.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Breast milk has a completely different type of sugar than formula. There is no comparison.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 09:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i can't tell you how many times i was told about all the damage i had done to my children by ff by moms in the midst of feeding their kids french fries. i personally think the moderate, healthy lifestyle we enforce with DD and DS matter so much more than ff
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Do you actually think it is the formula? Do you not recognize that the formula is a proxy for so many other things which we already know correlate with obesity?
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]this is interesting. i know there have been some studies on babies and weight WHILE either breast or bottle feeding, but did not realize there were long term studies showing a link btwn weight and breast vs. bottle feeding. Where did you get your info? Link pls!
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 09:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sorry there is NO scientific data backing that up. Plus you might be an anti-juice lady too, which U of Minn. just released a study showing no increased risk of obesity in chidren who drink 100% juice
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 09:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]my dc drinks juice and he's a stick.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 05:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Have you ever tasted breastmilk? It's sweeter than formula.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Different kind of sugar, tho'. Lactose (glucose/galactose) is a different kind of sugar than the corn-based fructose in most formula. You could make the argument that a bf infant becomes used to sweeter tasting foods, but I think that fructose consumption has a greater metabolic impact.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 05:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
And how do you know this? Have you been asking people on the street or is this from a study/article?
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 12:35 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]you should do more research.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 03:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh, that's BS. I was formula fed and ebf both my children. We're all normal weight, as are my formula-fed sisters.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 04:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]An N of 5, there you go. Case closed.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 04:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i was formula fed and i'm a bean pole.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 05:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]WRONG WRONG WRONG! My dcs never breast fed, never sick, both very smart, both actually a little underweight. I wish more people cared about their toddler and tweens nutrion the way they obsess about Bf. It is the pre packaged meals in a box. The preservatives and additives, the take out food, the lack of exercise. It is the limits the parents set when the child starts making food choices.
[ Reply | Options ]09.05.08, 04:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You mean the stuff that was discovered ages ago and mass marketed 60 years ago? In our mothers' generation breast feeding was rare, and they are a
[ Reply | Options ]09.05.08, 04:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^ group that had little childhood obesity. Obesity is an adult problem for them.
[ Reply | Options ]09.05.08, 04:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yet another result of FF mixed with poor nutrition and McD's. It's the combination.
[ Reply | Options ]09.05.08, 05:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] i envy moms with 6 or more kids 23 replies
- I originally wanted to have 2 and then adopt 2. But having them never worked out so we...
- Did you adopt a sibling group? I really feel called to...Initially my dh was freaked out about domestic adoption and wanted to pursue international. But then he...being pregnant. Also I don't want to adopt a single child. I have 5 siblings, but...the time. I keep reading about older kid adoptions and wonder if maybe that's our path....
Talk : : August 15, 2008
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why?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I envy those with 4. We have 2 and will stick with that. But I originally wanted 4. I'd also like to foster kids but it's not something dh is into and you really both need to be on board.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have 2 and want 4 also. I'm into adopting but everytime we've gotten close I got pregnant so now I'm scared to face our social worker.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 03:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I originally wanted to have 2 and then adopt 2. But having them never worked out so we just did the "adopt 2" part. We've got the greatest kids, we're really lucky.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 04:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Did you adopt a sibling group? I really feel called to adopt, dh is just going along, so I'm a little scared to push it. This last time we were trying so hard not to get pregnant and dh thinks it's a sign. We can't afford 5 dc.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 04:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Nope. Two domestic infant adoptions--kids are 6 & 2.5 now. My dh isn't ready for fostering so I might do something like CASA (court appointed advocate) when my kids are older. It's hard to get both spouses on the same page. Initially my dh was freaked out about domestic adoption and wanted to pursue international. But then he got educated (some workshops) about what it's really like and did a total 180.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 04:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My dh was on board originally, but I got pregnant right after we closed on the house we purchased to be able to adopt. 4yrs later I got pregnant again right after we completed our home study. I'm 42, so getting up there in age. We went in for a new homestudy just after db turned 1yo. Swore that we weren't trying to get pregnant, I was still breastfeeding and didn't even have my period back yet. 4mos later I was pregnant so we were put on hold again. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage at 10wks. So no adopted dc or bio-baby. I can't help but think it's a sign.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 04:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Do you think you're going to try (to adopt) again?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]As I said we're kind of scared to even approach our social worker again. Also our finances have taken quite a hit with us buying a house and having 2 dc. I want to look into state sponsored-adoptions because I really would like a little girl to fill in the 4yr gap between my bio-kids. However we are still mourning our lost baby. It's been less than a week since my miscarriage. I just don't know. I really liked being pregnant. Also I don't want to adopt a single child. I have 5 siblings, but my oldest brother has a different father. I think I've spent my entire life worried that he'll need a kidney or somrthing and none of us would be a match. I couldn't bear to adopt a child and be in that situation. Crazy I know.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm so sorry about your miscarriage--that must be hard. I do feel it will all work out. I think my children found me--once DS was born and came home everything made sense to me. GL.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thank you. I think so too. I'm trying not to push but I just know our adopted dc are out there. I just wonder if now is not the time. I keep reading about older kid adoptions and wonder if maybe that's our path.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I envy anyone who can afford more than one. I am grateful for what I have though.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Children only cost as much as you let them.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It's school that costs money. I live in an area that there is not a great public school. So close to $20K for PreK for one is all we can handle.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Children don't need pre-k.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
LOL!! I guess I don't need to clothe or educate my dc then. Well, heck I'll have 10. Thanks for showing me the light! I have to log off now & get busy since I am already 35 & only have one.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What? Why don't you have to clothe or educate your dc's? This makes no sense.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]If they only cost as much as you let them . . .
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's true. You are right.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Do you live on a commune?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]There are plenty on low cost options for clothes. Buy out of season, on sale, 2nd hand or swap with others. We purchased in an area not known for good publics, but our dc are zone for the one good school in the neighborhood and that's where they're going. With the time & money we save on not going private or shlepping them out of district, we can afford enrichment classes that fit our needs. Also living in our non-trendy neighborhood thats walking distance to museums, libraries, the zoo and botanic gardens means we can afford the space for all the dc we want as well as the cultural activities that make living in NYC worthwhile.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Wow, why on earth do you do that?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Carol Brady?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] single mom here - moved in w/boyfriend and have full custody of my daughter...it's di... 10 replies
- Not his beeswax. If he wants to get married and adopt her then he can chime in. Maybe you need your own place if the long-term commitment isn't there?...
Talk : : August 15, 2008
single mom here - moved in w/boyfriend and have full custody of my daughter...it's difficult at times bc both people want attention and difficult to manage - how do you manage this?
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.15.08, 10:27 AM [ Flag ]uh, your boyfriend is an adult.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]so? everybody needs attention
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]right, but if he's genuinely having a hard time wiht you taking care of your daughter, he's being childish. how does this conmflict manifest itself? does he have a good relationship with your daughter?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:33 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]ITA
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes but its not so easy - it frustrates him that my daughter does not listen to me
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i assume that frustrates you too. do you have a way you address it? can he trust you to do that, or does he butt in? these are normal parent conflicts, but I can se it may be hard to deal with them when you have been on your own.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not his beeswax. If he wants to get married and adopt her then he can chime in. Maybe you need your own place if the long-term commitment isn't there?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ita!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
guess what, most children do not listen... it is time for you to be the parent and for him to "act" like an adult and realize that she should always come first in your life
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
some husbands are like this as well. but as a single mom I would have an issue with my bf not understanding how children are/behave. if he wants to be with you than he needs to step up as a father figure to your daughter and be supportive to both of you. if he is in competition with your daughter for your time and attention that is very childish of him.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Is it responsible to try and have a child before cancer treatment? 18 replies
- a really aggressive kind of cancer so I might revise my answer in that case. Possibly freezing her eggs would be another option. I just know that having a child is a very powerful urge and some people are willing to risk a lot to do that. Adoption later would probably be the best answer for her but who am I to say?...
Talk : : August 14, 2008
Is it responsible to try and have a child before cancer treatment?
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.14.08, 01:37 PM [ Flag ]There are so many factors that you really need medical advice. GL
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I just read about Christina Applegate, that she wanted the opportunity to do this before treatment. I honestly don't know what I would have done. Poor girl.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I hadn't heard about this--what kind of cancer does she have??
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]breast.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I just googled it--she's fucking insane. You DO NOT mess with pre-menopausal breast cancer. Her estrogen levels are feeding that tumor like crazy--it's mostly young women who die from this for god's sake. I hope smarter people in her life will talk her out of this.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Doing this with breast cancer seems kind of crazy since they are generally hormone dependent. Maybe she should freeze her eggs or something
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
no reason why not that I can think of. Makes perfect sense.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]But you can die?
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np any of us could. I kind of understand why you would do this. Some cancer treatments leave you unable to haev children. If you haev a good prgnosis, why not?
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I would have waited until I was healthy again. Would not risk the child to grow up without a mother. I have sympathy for her.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I do too and according to poster above, this is a really aggressive kind of cancer so I might revise my answer in that case. Possibly freezing her eggs would be another option. I just know that having a child is a very powerful urge and some people are willing to risk a lot to do that. Adoption later would probably be the best answer for her but who am I to say?
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
But would you have a good prognosis in a year (or however long it would be?). Generally you have a good prognosis when things are caught early
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yeah, don't know. I guess this is the kind of thing her doctor would know. Doesn't sound like a great idea. She's probably just freaking out though poor woman
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
most cancer treatment can't wait while you conceive and bear a child. What kind of slow-moving cancer would that be?
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]she has breast cancer..
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Not if you want the child to have a mother.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]her cancer might be treatable
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It's treatable now - who knows if it will be treatable later. It's not like the guy who delayed his surgery two weeks to be in the Olympics.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 01:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] My first IVF cycle failed. Getting ready for the second one. Any inspiring stories? 8 replies
- It is a hard process. We went through it once and it didn't work out--but our children did come to us eventually (through adoption). You will make it out of I/F some way or another and it's so great on the other side of it...
- Not really. But I knew before we ever got into IVF that I was interested in adoption, so it was a really natural move to make. Going into the IVF cycle we thought our odds were very good--I was relatively...
Talk : : August 13, 2008
My first IVF cycle failed. Getting ready for the second one. Any inspiring stories?
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.13.08, 03:02 PM [ Flag ]I am sorry. It is a hard process. We went through it once and it didn't work out--but our children did come to us eventually (through adoption). You will make it out of I/F some way or another and it's so great on the other side of it. GL.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 03:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Had you decided beforehand that one cycle would be it for you?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 03:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not really. But I knew before we ever got into IVF that I was interested in adoption, so it was a really natural move to make. Going into the IVF cycle we thought our odds were very good--I was relatively young (early 30's). But then my fsh got tested again and came out very high--essentially diminished ovarian reserve/premature ovarian failure. The odds of success plummeted to less than 5%. We went ahead with that one cycle but when we got the news about my fsh it was literally one elevator ride down to decide that if the cycle didn't work we'd adopt. I do consider myself a success story because I have two absolutely wonderful kids who I really feel were meant to find me.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 03:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
if you don't mind me asking, were you told why it did not work for you?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 03:12 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I just heard that my friend is pregnant, due in January, from their 3rd round of IVF. It really can work if you decide to try another round. Good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 03:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]HAVE NO WORRIES! I did IVF and have a happy, easy-going, healthy 1 year old! I got pregnant on my 3rd cycle...my second cycle was the most productive embryo wise but I hyperstimulated and couldnt do the transfer. Are you doing a fresh cycle? They tend to work best however I know many people who got preg with frozen as well. I went through it at the same time an email buddy went through it and we both got preg when we took additional folic acid-maybe a fluke but its harmless non-the-less. Also, the more relaxed you are the better. Dont take herbs- I went for a consult and the dr told me that an internal bleeding experience I had was probably connected! I am thinking about having a second and will probably to IVF again. I did acupuncture however I have heard a lot of positive things about Mayan massage- things you can do to help you relax...Also, emla cream/lidocane cream helps numb the area for those big tushie shots!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 03:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]but I heard massage is great also- I would prob go that route next time...Keep you head up!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 03:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm sorry you're having to go through this. It's a very painful process. I did 3 fresh and a frozen cycle before it worked for us. Ironically, it was the "worst" (on paper) cycle that worked! Hope your IVF journey is a short one.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 03:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Do you think it's a weird chemical thing in my brain, but I get choked up and could c... 24 replies
- I'm a little that way but it doesn't bother me. I don't have hormones to blame (we adopted & kids are already 6 & 2.5). For me it has to do w/ being a mom and feeling more intensely because of that. I really notice it sometimes when I'm reading to the kids--something like Crazy Cakes or Tell Me Again...
Talk : : August 13, 2008
Do you think it's a weird chemical thing in my brain, but I get choked up and could cry at the drop of a hat. Speaking about serious issues, reading emotional (and not even VERY emotional) things, watching Olympic stuff, etc. I wasn't always this way and it's sort of embarrassing. I cannot stop the tingling in my nose and the tightening of my throat ! Is it a chemical thing ?
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.13.08, 06:51 AM [ Flag ]How long ago did you give birth?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]long ago. it's not that...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Time to see a therapist
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]because you think it's an easily fixable thing with meds or because you think I'm losing it ? I feel perfectly fine and happy. That's why it is such an annoyance.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Just because it never hurts to take 45 minutes to talk about what's going on and be sure it's not just the top layer of something more concerning...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Maybe underneath it all I'm a complete wack-a-doo ! Actually, depression runs in my family, but I don't feel depressed.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: one doesn't have to be a wack-a-doo to benefit from therapy. Try it, sounds like you could benefit...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was joking about the ack-a-doo thing. Lighten up.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Lighten up? OK, you asked, I answered. I'm just saying, the perception that therapy is for crazies is what keeps a lot of people from seeking help. And your self-deprecating "humor" indicates perhaps you could benefit fro therapy....I've seen it a thousand times before. GL.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You are an anonymous and humorless woman on a chat board who has seen "what" a thousand times before ? People joking about themselves ? Congratulations, Jung. It must be difficult going through life without the ability to find humor in your own foibles and frailties. GL to you.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh boy, that's not what I meant. And now you're angry, huh? I'm a psychiatrist and and was talking about your use of humor about not being "crazy". Never mind. I was saying, like previous poster, therapy can be great, give it a shot. You are obviously highly defended though so it make take some time.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have actually benefitted from therapy in the past and am not in any way opposed to seeking counsel again. I am opposed to the idea that self-deprecation in and of itself means there is something "underlying" something. I am not angry, but shocked at how people can so quickly turn a simple "conversation" into nastiness. Maybe you could talk that over at your next session Dr Melfy.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Nastiness? I was never intending to be nasty. I thought you started the nastiness with the "lighten up"...read the thread. Glad you're open to therapy and I wish you the best. No one deserves to have to cry every day and have disproportionate reactions to daily events. Best of luck.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
hormonal
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yup
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]do you htink it's like a pre-menopause hormone thing ? I'm 40
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, could be the start of perimenopause
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]oh ick...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I am the same way!!!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Op It's making me nuts !
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hate to tell you but my DC is 4 YO and I'm STILL like this. Only saving grace is that DH is also more emotional now but I'm a really lump in the throat girl now.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I wish I was an actress because soaps would probably pay big for an on-cue crier like me.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm a little that way but it doesn't bother me. I don't have hormones to blame (we adopted & kids are already 6 & 2.5). For me it has to do w/ being a mom and feeling more intensely because of that. I really notice it sometimes when I'm reading to the kids--something like Crazy Cakes or Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born will really choke me up.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Exactly. I got super emotional trying to explain democracy the other day ! Give me "How Much Do I Love You" and I'm jelly !
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] help. i'm expecting to get flamed here - but 2 weeks ago i had a huge coke blowout wi... 73 replies
- Your judgmental attitude is much more harmful to your children than this woman's binge will be to hers. You should put your kids up for adoption rather than ruin them any further....
Talk : : August 13, 2008
help. i'm expecting to get flamed here - but 2 weeks ago i had a huge coke blowout with an old college friend (haven't done this for years by the way, can't explain why we did it now). I've just discovered i'm pg, so by my calculations I conceived 14 days before the night. i feel absolutely sickened by my own behavior, and am now terrified for the health of my baby....will it be OK, should i consider not going through with the pregnancy?
73 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.13.08, 06:39 AM [ Flag ]Define huge coke blowout exactly - a few lines or...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]More like about 10 - and large quantities of alcohol....why why why?????????
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Are you married? Are you in a relationship with the father? what's the rest of the context here?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes i've been married for 5 years....nothing sinister here, just bad judgment on my behalf. we had been ttc up until 6 months ago but the pressure got too much so we decided to leave it for a year or two then start ttc again. now this happens.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]14 days before the night you should be OK. I think it's day 17 when the fetus becomes "attache" to your system. Talk to your doc about this NOW though! GL
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
terminate. If you can indulge in that sort of behavior then you need to clear that up before you have children. Neither parent should even occasionally behave this way or maintain friendships with people who do. Once you are drug-free (a drink here and there, maybe even a puff of pot but not anything harder or more frequent) then you can think about conceiving.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]omg. i'm pro choice, but sounds like she should have a conversation with her doctor.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I disagree. Doing coke/drinking once every few years is what most would consider using in moderation. It doesn't sound like this woman has a drug problem and terminating what will in all likelihood be a healthy pregnancy is way too extreme.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you obv have a drug problem.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you obv should stop talking out of your ass.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
10 lines of coke and "large quantities of alcohol"???? That sounds like a parent to you?????
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]she's not a parent yet, so you can't judge in quite the same way!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh please. You make it sound like you need to be a saint to be a good parent.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not a saint. Just not a binge drug user and drinker. Setting the bar pretty low, I think...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 02:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I guess everything is black and white with you. Drinking and using coke once every few years does not make someone a habitual user. Recreational drugs are not the devil.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ITA. I had a similar experience and my pregnancy and db were fine.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm with you with the drinking (and BTW, way more frequently than every few years qualifies as OK) but not with the drug use. It's illegal. I'm not a sanctimommy but I think you have to consider what will happen to family and career when engaging in illegal activities once you're a parent.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Massive difference between a cocktail now and then and "doing coke". The latter is dangerous illegal behavior. Engaging in that indicates some pretty serious dysfunction. This is simply not debatable.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Have you ever done coke before?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]snorted coke twice in college, tripped once in high school, plenty of pot use but all of that was over long before I married or chose to carry pregnancies to term. Rage all you want, I am of the very strong opinion that a willingness to do that much coke and/or drink that much is completely inconsistent with a responsible decision to conceive.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 02:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think you watched Scared Straight one too many times. Perhaps in your lily-white world, everyone shits quotes from the bible, but in the real world people aren't perfect. It doesn't make them bad parents.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why is it that the morally questionable posts are always the most vulgar?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 02:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Your sanctimonious faux-outrage is what is truly vulgar.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
you are SUCH a prig. Obviously know nothing about drug use and abuse.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]And who are you? Betty Ford?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i bet the baby will be fine...but did you lay it all out specifically and in all honesty to your OB ? If he or she is a good OB, they will tell you exactly what the effect could be. Don't suffer without the facts.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]too embarrassed at the moment - but you are right, i need to discuss with her
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'll bet she's seen and heard much worse. I had an embarrassing issue and I waas so happy with my OB's response. He was "there" and listened without any judgement. Get it all out on the table to make a sound decision. GL.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: you have to get over your embarrassment immediately and talk to your ob about this!! Get off UB and get some FACTS from a medical professional!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]If you don't want to ask her, you could go to Planned Parenthood or something and ask there
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]good idea
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think you will be fine. I had a friend in college who was a regular heroin user and then found out she was pg. The baby was fine and is currently doing extrmely well at Stanford. Forced her to clean up her act too...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Whether or not the conceptus is harmed is irrelevant. The question you need to ask is how you can imagine that this sort of behavior is consistent with the sort of responsibility you take on with parenthood. Terminate, not because of the possibility of an abnormal fetus but because you are not ready to conceive.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]She made a mistake, acknowledges she did, and is trying to decide what to do. You're not helpful, compassionate, or believable. "conceptus"... jeez...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]No, I am not interested in being compassionate here. Too many kids with awful parents in the world who never should have conceived. My guess is you'd respond differently if you were not assuming she's white and middle-class. It's OK for one of your own to do this but you'd jump down her throat if she was in public housing, getting CHP, etc...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]as an AA woman I made no such assumption, but you should be embarrassed by your assumption. You have some issues.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]No dear, what I was trying to say is that I see so much anger slung around this board whenever someone admits to being on public assistance, receiving CHP, etc that I can only assume the warm tone toward this woman would shift if she were to reveal that she is not an UES UMC lily.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 02:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Maybe you should try some compassion. You're one ugly gal.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Are you on here looking for a porter to carry the weight of your issues? Carry your own "I''m sick of supporting the less intelligent, less motivated, poor people" embossed luggage and hurry; You'll miss your flight!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 02:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]whaaaa??????????? I am none of what you suggest. Formerly a recipient of Meals on Wheels and food stamps, I was noting the general hostility on this board toward people like me and "irresponsible decisions". I guessed that you bikini-waxed highlighted tt ladies were so warm because you assume she's one of you, that's all.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 02:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Well, it certainly isn't a "baby" as you dopes keep calling it!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 02:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: I think you're being a bit harsh when she states they weren't TTC at the time. Plenty of people give up bad habits once they have children. And plenty of people sow their wild oats before having children because they know they will have to sacrifice once children comes.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]If you view giving up consumption of cocaine as a 'sacrifice' then you should not be having children!!!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]sacrifice / change of lifestyle, call it what you want, that is semantics and you are choosing to focus on one word instead of the broader point. Many people change lifestyle, give up bad habits and vow to live differently once children come. To assert we're all perfect before children, or even after, is quite a stretch.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Your judgmental attitude is much more harmful to your children than this woman's binge will be to hers. You should put your kids up for adoption rather than ruin them any further.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Oh please. I know many people that partied hard before having kids--and they turned out to be great parents. All of them. And it doesn't sound like this woman is a habitual user.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
This board makes me sick. Self-justifying creeps. Coke use is not consistent with parenthood, period.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]and before you became a parent you did nothing you have since forsaken ? A nun with children ?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sanctimommy alert!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]But judgmental condemnation IS consistent with parenthood?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, good judgement is very important for parents. Poor judgement of this degree should be a disqualifier.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 03:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh, the hubris. Too much parental judgement is what sends people to therapy for most of their lives.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]as opposed to cocaine and alcohol, which lead where exactly? You are an ass!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 09:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Actually I did that when I was probably a week pregnant with my daughter and she is FINE - definitely don't terminate that would be CRAZY!!!!!!!!! Of course you would do nothing close to harmful for the rest of the pregnancy - once night is very probably going to have to effect whatsoever or GOD FORBID lower your fetuses IQ by one point.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]poster from above - by the way, this was my second child. GASP HORROR - a parent who drinks and does drugs on occasion.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks - good to know i'm not alone!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]No, idiots always have plenty of company.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 02:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]And sanctimommies condemn the world alone.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Actually, that is horrifying.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 02:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
It will be fine, the baby had not implanted yet
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: I think this is one of those "better to ask OB than get medical advice from UB" moments -- I am sure OB will appreciate OP's honesty, and can talk to her frankly about any issues. OP, I imagine you will be so much happier having a tlak w/your doc.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OMG, to the person who insists that this woman terminate the pregnancy (not because she's harmed the fetus but because she is somehow emotionally immature or even defective) Step away from the computer, walk into the bathroom, look into the mirror and repeat after me "I am a sanctimonious, self righteous, extremist and I need help." If you are passing along any of your behavior or attitudes to your own children god help us all.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 02:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I appreciate your concern. I am quite confident that my husband and I are doing a fine job with our children. I am also quite confident that my daughter and son do not view drug use as normal or acceptable and will not envision parenthood as something that can coexist with bingeing on much other than potato chips.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 03:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have no concern for you whatsoever. You're sad.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]By the way it's your confidence that's frightening. I'm not worried about you I'm worried that my children will end up sitting next to yours in a classroom someday.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Of course you are confident. Sanctimommies are incapable of understanding the damage they inflict on their kids.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Even in the What to Expect book it states that you should be ok. Talk to your ob. Be honest. That's what they are there for. And f&$k all the sanctimonious posters, they have their own issues.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 03:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You need to be honest and upfront with your doctor and see what advice they give you. This is too serious to mess with.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 03:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Wow! scratch, h*ss, claws... I think the fighting should be taken outside of this poor woman's honest ask for our help. Whatever you have heard.. I can tell you it is best that you ask now and put your mind at ease. If you do not you will surely suffer mental attacks for the next 9 months. For yourself and your baby, talk to your doctor, Planned Parenthood or someone whom you trust that knows someone to ask (if you have 'connections'). Personally, your post does not indicate you have a problem... more that you had a binge and need to possibly consider that. Also, you must have felt terrible the next days - make sure to take care of your child, feed it healthy food, take your folic acid, lots of water, sleep and personal care. Good Luck!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]THe baby's gonna be fine and you're fine. So long as you don't go to a total hypochondriac doctor, they'll tell you the same. I was partying like Keith Richards for the month before finding out I was pg, and both my PCP and OB/GYN assured me that short of smoking crack or passing out every night, the baby would be fine. And he's perfect. No worries.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh, honey, I feel for you - I'd bet the baby is fine. I spent the month before finding out I was pg partying like Keith Richards, and both my PCP and OB/GYN told me not to worry. And my DB is perfect. Besides, my mother tells me that back in the early 70's, when she was pg w/ me, her OB told her doing some blow was perfectly OK - "in moderation" (can you imagine??!!). Definitely relax - don't listen to any of the neurotic maniacs on here.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 09:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]some of these women are out of their minds! I stayed up a lil late 2 weeks before becoming pregnant and I didnt even a think of it; that being said I am taking perfect care of myself now and will continue to do so. Honestly, i look forward to having a crazy night out when the baby is home with a nanny, I mean after 9m of being clean and sober it's my way of having fun, its not for everyone but that's what makes everyone an individual, no need to judge this poor girl. She and the baby are going to be totally fine!!!
[ Reply | Options ]09.14.08, 04:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] My 9 mo dd barely sucks her thumb, hates pacis, and has no need for stuffed animals o... 6 replies
- neither of my dc had a favorite toy at that age, one adopted his stuffed animal around 1 year old and the other adopted a little toddler pillow I put in his crib around 14 months....
Talk : : August 12, 2008
My 9 mo dd barely sucks her thumb, hates pacis, and has no need for stuffed animals or other comfort items. Other than that, very normal happy baby, but is she a serial killer in training
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.12.08, 07:13 PM [ Flag ]yes
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't see the connection. All that you say is normal for that age. Comfort items etc come later.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]was just getting worried that she had so little need for soothing - thought it happened now
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No. I have 2dcs never used pacis or stuffed animals etc. They aren't thumb/finger suckers either. 2.7yo is just staring to show an interest in a bear after watching a Little Bear cartoon.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I could have described my ds at 9 mo this way except truly me and my breast were his comfort items.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]neither of my dc had a favorite toy at that age, one adopted his stuffed animal around 1 year old and the other adopted a little toddler pillow I put in his crib around 14 months.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] how old are you? how many kids? how many more kids do you want? 33 replies
- what do you mean, adoption?...
Talk : : August 12, 2008
how old are you? how many kids? how many more kids do you want?
33 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.12.08, 06:22 PM [ Flag ]31, 3 kids, #4 (and probably my last) due in Feb (I'll be 32 then)
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]50. 4. 0.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]poster above you - how is having 4? I've heard it's really not different than having 3...and how far apart are your closest dcs?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]all are 2 yrs apart. 4th was easy; it was the 3rd that threw us!
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]my #4 will be 14mo younger than #3 (surprise!). I'm kind of hoping that #3 and #4 will just be very entertained by each other.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]they will!
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
30, 2 kids ages 1 and 5
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]29 1 dc pg now... don't want to be and don't really want anymore. I'm in a pickle
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]accident baby?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]not really.. at one point i thought i wanted another.. and then I didn't but of course that's when I found I was pg. I mean. it isn't really an accident if you use no type of protection is it?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
terminate
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
45, 2, just wish I had the 2 I gave birth to. Too old to start again
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]what do you mean, adoption?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no. My first baby died from a heart defect. DD is perfect and lovely but I wish her brother was here too. :-(
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am so so so very sorry for your loss, it is terrible.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. It is hard some days still. I miss him
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am sure you will for the rest of your life, life just sucks sometimes, wish I could hug you (hope thats not weird)
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOL! Not weird. I think it's sweet. Thank you. Life does suck sometimes, but you just get through it. DD is such a blessing and we are so lucky to have her! Most of the time I feel lucky. SOmetimes it's just hard though.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have a DD too, love those girl clothes!!!
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]:-) it is fun
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
33. 2dcs. undecided ?one more.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]31. 3 with a recent miscarriage. i'd like more. not sure how many. we'll play it by ear.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]38, 2, maybe 1 more
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]38, 1, 0
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 06:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Almost 41. 2 kids, 6 y.o. & 2.5 y.o. If someone else showed up (either through adoption--like our first two--or a miracle pregnancy) I wouldn't be sad. But I think we are very lucky as we are and we'll stick with this.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]29, 1 ds, definitely 1 more maybe 2
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]37, 1dc, trying for one more, but it hasn't been easy the second time around.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]35/2/1...but would be happy for twins.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]43, 2, I want 2 more and really would like to adopt. However an "oops" pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage has me wanting to be pregnant again. So torn.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 09:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]38, 2 DCs, #3 due any day now. Maybe done or maybe 4
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]lol
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
40, 2 kids, done
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]36,pg with #6..done
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] If you have an only toddler, and are planning on having more, when are you thinking i... 13 replies
- about a 3-4 year span between ours. When DS was 3 we started the process to adopt again and had DD home by the time he was 3.5. It's worked out fine--rough at...the timing on our two that DD came to us so quickly after we were ready to adopt again....
- 'd already sent out. 2 months later DD was born and home with us. People say adopting in the U.S. is so hard, such a long process, but that wasn't our...
Talk : : August 11, 2008
If you have an only toddler, and are planning on having more, when are you thinking is a good time? BTDT is welcome to put in their two cents! We have a 20 mo and are thinking next sumemr to try for another, and I know many factors apply, but... just curious!
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.11.08, 07:10 PM [ Flag ]op: omg - is everyone at youbemom?
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 07:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm curious, too -- and I'm currently PG with #1! :)
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 07:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm a big believer in enjoying each dc one at a time so I have 4/5 years in between each. That way I can really focus on the baby & by the time the next one is there the older one already has his/her own routine w/preschool, friends, activities - not "baby" things. One the other hand, each time I am ready to walk out the door with just my keys and wallet, I am thrown back into stroller/diaper bag mode.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 07:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I wanted mine 2.5-3.5yrs apart. No 2 under 2 for us and older child would already be in pre-school so we could have more 1 on 1 time with the baby. It turned out that #1 & 2 are 3yrs, 10mos apart it it feels like too much. Because #1 is in April and #2 is in Jan. They'll never be in jr high or hs at the same time. #2 &3 atr 2yrs &2mos apart and that's better because they really are playmates. However #1 &3 are girls and that makes me wish even more that they were closer in age. The almost 6yr age gap just seems like a lot.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 07:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: that makes a lot of sense... I just cannot imagine not only being pregnant anytime soon, but having an infant now/soon... if I can get pregnant when we are planning/thinking of, there would be about 3 yrs 5 mo... ugh.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 07:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
We wanted about a 3-4 year span between ours. When DS was 3 we started the process to adopt again and had DD home by the time he was 3.5. It's worked out fine--rough at first but I think that has more to do with DS's temperment than anything else. But now they play together a lot and are friends. FWIW, there's a 16 year difference between me and my big sister and we're super close. There's a 2 year spread between her and my big brother and they're not close at all. I think a lot depends on all the individual players and can't really be planned.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 07:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: very true... DH is one of 9 and two closest sisters are about 20 years apart! That said, I have NO intention of having more than 2 or three, so...
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 07:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, I wasn't planned at all--my folks were done after my brother. We started so late and then couldn't get pg, there's not question of a really big age spread. We got very lucky w/ the timing on our two that DD came to us so quickly after we were ready to adopt again.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 07:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np - yeh, how did that happen? Did you use the same agency & not have to go through the house visit & paper work that eats up so much time?
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 08:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Same agency. Had to renew our home study. Did the same outreach we did before, those fewer mailings (letters w/ our photo). I hadn't even finished sending out the letter when we got a call (from DD's birthmother) from one we'd already sent out. 2 months later DD was born and home with us. People say adopting in the U.S. is so hard, such a long process, but that wasn't our experience. Our first one did take longer, but still it was only about 1 year start to finish.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 08:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, from what I've heard, you were lucky but congratulations! Its nice to hear a good domestic adopion story!
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 10:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ours are super close together (13 months; unplanned) & it is great. they are so close & play together all the time at 3.5 & 4.5.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 10:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i wanted a longer spread-they are 3.5 years apart. they get along great-share aroom (same gender). they are very sweet to watch together. it was easier on me-older dc was in school most of day so I could spend time with db. but you get what you get and make teh most of it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 03:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] What kind of birth control do you use and how do you like it? 21 replies
- I didn't mean to be a downer. It's an upside. We have our two beautiful kids (we adopted) and now I just don't worry about birth control after years of having to think about it....
Talk : : August 11, 2008
What kind of birth control do you use and how do you like it?
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.11.08, 05:58 PM [ Flag ]children
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 05:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Heh, seriously
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
marriage, weight gain
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]copper iud
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Was the IUD painful to get and/or does it feel weird now?
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]me too.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Infertility. Fine so far.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ugh, so sad, sorry
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I didn't mean to be a downer. It's an upside. We have our two beautiful kids (we adopted) and now I just don't worry about birth control after years of having to think about it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
That didn't work for us. Had #1 after several years and being told we needed ICSI. #2 4yrsa later and now an ooops for #3.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 07:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Roulette (and it's a terrible idea -- we're really not ready/planning for another DC right now)
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]condom, it is like eating the caramel with the paper on it but you get used to it. I don't want any hormones and I could not do the copper thing.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Roulette poster from above -- that's my story, too. Wish there was another option!
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Nuvaring. Love it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm too tired to have se
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that's funny. she's too tired to even type "sex"!
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Mirena (IUD). Love it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]mirena. love it. hurt like hell getting it put in, and had some cramping afterwards. but by two weeks, i felt totally back to normal.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]impotence
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]pull out
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]abstinence, i love it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 07:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] How do you respond to a younger ds who keeps asking "who do you love more?" I've bee... 15 replies
- does he think hes adopted and his sibling isn't?...
Talk : : August 11, 2008
How do you respond to a younger ds who keeps asking "who do you love more?" I've been saying all the "I love you both the same" stuff but clearly some thing is going on. What can I say or do to make him feel special. I am only child so I have very little grasp on what it feels like to share a parent with others.
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.11.08, 09:02 AM [ Flag ]try "i love you for who YOU are..." and list some wonderful traits that your ds has.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Tell him to stop being such an overly competitve bitch.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]lol, wrong but funny
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]true, but would you want to date a guy who keeps asking that?
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I used to say that mum and dad love is like bank accounts,we have a bank account for both my children and each has unlimited "funds". DD had a trillion "love dollars" and DS has a trillion "love dollars"..dd doesn't ask anymore, and now i leave little love bucks for her around the house and she helps make them for ds
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]lol. only in new york.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
does he think hes adopted and his sibling isn't?
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]No but he is two years younger than his big brother and very competitive. Wishes he could run as fast, be first, stronger, know things, etc. His older brother is no help as he enjoys his alpha male status and show major older sibling entitlement and bossiness.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]They both sound terrible. You should drown them or something.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]If only I could drown you.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'd let you do it too. You think somewtime who posts such hateful comments is really happy with themselves?
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You don't try and make him feel special, you explain that moms don't favor one child over the other and thats the end of that.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ouch.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
There's a nice book called I Love You the Purplest, emphasizing how the mom loves both her sons equally, but for their differences. Maybe a little cheesy, but I think it's lovely and worth a look.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Lots of books cover this, like "I Love You the Purplest". Get from library...says it well.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 10:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Highly doubt that Nicole Kidman actually had a baby. You don't look like this only we... 6 replies
- I agree. I think she adopted and faked the in utero pregnancy the entire time. On the other hand if she gained under 25 lbs., then yes she could have lost the weight already....
Talk : : August 11, 2008
Highly doubt that Nicole Kidman actually had a baby. You don't look like this only weeks after giving birth.
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.11.08, 08:44 AM [ Flag ]I agree. I think she adopted and faked the in utero pregnancy the entire time. On the other hand if she gained under 25 lbs., then yes she could have lost the weight already.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 08:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Let's get real here. She gained maybe 8 lbs. She gained the weight of the baby and placenta, and not a pound more.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
she's like a wax figure.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 08:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i think she did have the baby but i agree that she is way to thin and doesn't look like she was preg. but my neighbor upstairs had twins and i swear she was hardly showing at all and then came home from the hospital wearing a mini skirt!! go figure!
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I gained 20 lbs (major morning sickness) with my first pregnancy and was back to my regular weight after 4 weeks (not trying, just have a weird metabolism). She did /does seem thin but who knows. A girl in my high school had a baby and came back to school the next week in her size 2 jeans. Freakshow.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Your Go-To Playground
... structure that's neither splintery nor covered with obscene graffiti. The often-overlooked Panhandle Playground at Masonic Street between Oak and Fell Streets in the Golden Gate Park Panhandle is just the kind of place you might adopt as your go-to playground, particularly if you have a small child. It has a nearby bathroom that's surprisingly clean, a low-to-the-ground water fountain in the enclosed playground space, gates that are difficult for escape-minded...SanFrancisco : August 11, 2008
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