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[+] To hit or not to hit? Not beating. Just enough to signal that you mean business. 26 replies
- The trick is follow through. Its like CIO, if you go in and pick up dc, they know that you'll always cave....
Talk : : November 14, 2008
To hit or not to hit? Not beating. Just enough to signal that you mean business.
26 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.14.08, 02:54 PM [ Flag ]In anger? Never. Cool calm and collected, maybe. Depends on the offense.
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 02:54 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]OP: Dh is mortified by any physical punishment.
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 02:57 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]What id the DC doing that you think warrants this reaction/punishment?
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 03:00 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]OP: I cannot stand when they show disrespect for others around them and other people property. I think it's important that they learn how to behave (especially in public).
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 03:02 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Stop them from doing whatever they're doing. Hold them by the arm, look them in the eyes, you are not allowed to act like this, if you don't stop we will leave. If they continue. Take them home. Put them in a time out. Trick is follow through. Sometimes you have to leave a full cart of groceries at the store and walk out. If you don't follow through they know you don't mean it. Works much better than physical punishment.
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 03:05 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Won't that make dc think the world revolves around them?
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 03:08 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]No, they'll learn that fun stuff ends if they misbehave. Restaurants/friends house/hanging out with mom etc.
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 03:10 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]It makes them realize that if they continue the unacceptable behavior there are immediate and negative consequences. It also shows that the adult will meet out appropriate punishment immediately.
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 03:10 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]The trick is follow through. Its like CIO, if you go in and pick up dc, they know that you'll always cave.
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 03:14 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]whoever wrote this advice is dead on...works w/ my twins even
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 04:33 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]thanks :) everything I said I learned from my mom. She was tough on us. But we always behaved in public. No tantrums at the grocery store. And none yet by dc.
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 05:09 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Physical violence toward a child means that the adult is not in control or themselves or the situation. My 4 yo does what we say 99% of the time because we have developed mutual respect, and he knows we mean business. The other time he either takes himself to his special place to think it over or we send him there.
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 05:05 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]There is a difference between violence in anger and physical punishment while calm and collected.
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 05:07 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Yeah. In anger is a parenting tantrum, calm and collected is creepy. No need to hit your child. Ever.
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 05:16 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I've told my son too many times in passing that Mommy and Daddy would never ever hurt him. I just can't imagine how wounded he'd be (emotionally) if I hit him.
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 05:19 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Modern parenting fashion abhors any physical punishment of dcs, but that's all it is. A fashion. There's no reason to believe that moderate, fair, authoritative potching will cause horrible psychological damage. Certainly it couldn't be worse than the sense of entitlement so many dcs grow up with now.
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 10:02 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Oh please - my parents had "bill the belt" and "sam the stick" and both were used as a last means of controlling us. Did I get beat a few times? Absolutely. Did I learn a lesson?? Yup. Did I learn from it? What do you think???Do I see a few kids in my daughter's first grade class that could use a beating?
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 10:14 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I've seen quite a few kids who deserve a beating because nothing else works. Is it right or wrong??? Not sure - but I know I am a better person because of the few beatings I had as a kid. And I would like nothing more than to back hand a few kids in my daughter's class to teach them some respect. But that is not my place.
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 10:17 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]So hitting an adult is punishable by law but hitting a defenseless child is okay. If calm and collected physical punishment is okay why don't we go back to stoning in the marketplace.
[ Reply | Options ]11.15.08, 05:26 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Pooping in your pants as an adult is considered weird and gross, but for a toddler its commonplace.
[ Reply | Options ]11.15.08, 06:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
What do I think? That it's damned lucky you're not the parents of the kids you've evaluated as- 'could use a beating' AND that your parents modeled a poor choice. Hitting is a sign of weakness- intellectually, physically and emotionally. How sick that they named their 'tools of corporal punishment'. Additionally, our goals to model and teach self control and decision making aren't 'controlling' our kids. I bet you think you turned out great.
[ Reply | Options ]11.15.08, 06:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]When you feel like hitting a child, take a moment and pretend they're someone else's kid. Unless you're stupid, you'll change your mind. Even if it's the perspective that you could have the assets sued off of you, it may stop you. HITTING IS NOT OKAY. Slap, smack,backhand, tush,whatever, unless it's to save a life or stop an imminent threat. You are lying if you tell yourself that it got anyone 'real' respect, which is not =to fear.
[ Reply | Options ]11.15.08, 06:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Are your children as self rightous as you are? Jeez. Get a grip lady.
[ Reply | Options ]11.15.08, 07:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hopefully, they continue to be self respecting. In our family, respect starts with yourself and it means treating your self and others carefully, with love and consideration. That's my grip Sir, Madam or whichever.'
[ Reply | Options ]11.15.08, 06:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
never IMO
[ Reply | Options ]11.15.08, 05:34 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
[+] HELP.I need CIO advice! Yes, I've bought the Ferber book, but I need real mom help. 1... 16 replies
Talk : : November 13, 2008
HELP.I need CIO advice! Yes, I've bought the Ferber book, but I need real mom help. 12 mo db goes down fine , drowsy but awake. BUT he wakes 1 or 2 times a night and cries to nurse, refuses to go back down, throws a fit etc. It takes, on average an hour to get him back to sleep. We're at the end of our rope. Stories? Advice? Sage wisdom?
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.13.08, 10:56 AM [ Flagged ]when he wakes up in the middle of the night, go in and check, but do not take him out of the crib, pat him on the back, say something soothing and WALK OUT. Repeat as needed. GL
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 11:00 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]is he possibly actually hungry?
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 11:01 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]well, I've thought about this. Ped says he should not need to eat in the middle of the night.... he's one year old! We feed him dinner at 6, I nurse him before bed at 7..... so I figure he ought to make it until at least 5 or so...I'm so worn out and thrashed from 12 months of no sleep I don't know which end is up to be honest.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 11:03 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]i agree he's kind of old for being hungry at night, but if he can gethimself to sleep and he cries until he nurses, it seems like a possibility. if you give in and bf, does he eat a LOT or is it jstu to soothe him? does he take a paci?
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 11:06 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]he does take a paci, but when i do nurse him, he really nurses, for like 10 min. And that sounds like an easy answer, he's hungry, right?! But? He definitely nurses for comfort too. Like I said, I'm a walking in circles from sleep deprivation!!
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 11:11 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]He's one. Why is nursing for comfort so bad for some of you? He'll grow out of it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 11:17 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]because she'd like to get some sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 11:19 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I know this sounds selfish...but I truly need to not nurse at night any more.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 11:29 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]your kid thinks differently. At that age the baby is always right, no?
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 11:30 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
dumb question: are you sure he's eating/nursign until he's full before bed?
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 11:17 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Sage wisdom: bottle of water. When he wakes, send in DH with a watered-down bottle. Gradually change bottle to 100% water. No point in waking for a bottle of water -- problem solved. Good luck.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 11:08 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I tried this but it didn't work that well. In an act of desparation I started using a fan. I turn it on when he goes to bed and it definately helps when he wakes up in the middle of the night - the white noise helps him go back to sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 05:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Just nurse him back to sleep. Give him another 6-12 months and he will sleep like an angel.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 11:16 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]what about keeping him up a little more during the day, then he will be too tired to wake to nurse?
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 12:46 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I tried the water and tried giving the pacifier instead of nursing and neither one really worked, finally in an act of desparation I turned on a fan (it is directed at the wall away from db so he isn't getting blown away) the white noise helps him get back to sleep if he wakes in the middle of the night.
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 05:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Does he wake at about the same time every night? If so, it's probably a routine for him and not really hunger. With my twins, I did the same things you have been doing at around 6 months, patting/paci, and sitting where they could see me then gradually inching closer to the door, etc. The bottle of water was enough for DS, he wasn't waking if there wasn't food. For DD, I ended up waiting five minutes one night, 10 min the next, then finally just not going in there one night because nothing was working. It sucked and I felt horrible, but after a few days of that she was sleeping through. She cried for about an hour the first night, less the second, and then hardly at all the third. My ped (Dr. Weissbluth's practice) said it was fine. Check out his books and website, they are helpful. GL and flame away.
[ Reply | Options ]11.14.08, 06:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] how does sleeping through the night happen? my db is 14 weeks and eats 8pm, 12am, 3am... 15 replies
- didn't happen for my dd until 6 months. i was up 2-3 times a night, sometimes all night. plus colic until 5 months. good times. he will sleep one day - trust me - and you will view sleep in a whole new light! we did cio at 6 months but only for the initial going to bed part, she immediately just slept through after that. i think she must have just been ready?...
Talk : : November 13, 2008
how does sleeping through the night happen? my db is 14 weeks and eats 8pm, 12am, 3am and 6am...etc...will he just one day sleep? or will i gain 30 minutes each month???
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.13.08, 07:46 AM [ Flag ]He'll start sleeping longer between feedings, 4 hours, then 5, and then 6. When it happens you'll still wake up in a start, check the breathing, and then go back to sleep. :)
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 07:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]when????!!! :)
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 07:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It'll just happen. Every baby is different. Sorry if thats not super helpful, but its how it works. You can't do anything to make it better. Try to get DS to eat as much as possible each feeding, tickle his feet etc. That will add a little time between each feeding.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 07:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
OP - i let db cry it out between the 3-6am feed. he's been waking up at 4:45. it took ten minutes and he went back to sleep for an hour. Felt kinda cruel...
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 08:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
IME they start sleeping through the night when they are satisfying their caloric requirements during the day. Harder if you're bf-ing and not giving bottles.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 07:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]im bfing - should i try giving bm in a bottle? or do you mean formula? do you think trying to stretch time between feeds during the day helps? so far, it just makes my kid scream like hes doing right now.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 07:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Feed as much as you can during the day, that will help at night. I think she means ^^^ formula, it takes longer to digest. My DS cluster fed during the day which was a pain, but when he started doing that he started sleeping for longer periods during the night which was nice.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 07:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sorry, had to sign off for a while. I meant giving bottles of anything--formula, breastmilk, it doesn't matter. If you try pumping exclusively for a few days, you'll probably find that you have VERY little milk in the late afternoon/evening. This is why babies cluster feed then, and even so end up not eating enough before they go to bed and then, no surprise, want to eat all night. As soon as I started pumping and topping off after evening/bedtime feeds, the night time sleep really stretched out. -or
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 12:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
My db is 14 weeks as well. I'm bfing now (but going back to work in 4 weeks). He eats A LOT during the day and I feed him whenever he is hungry (sometimes every two hours). He has just started doing 4-5 hour stretches at night which has been great. Sometimes he still reverts to what your db is doing (last night was 11pm, 1am, 4am and 7am) but many nights he only wakes once between two 4 or 5 hour stretches. It seems to be a gradual thing. I know it sucks but don't rush it, it will happen eventually.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 08:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. i go back to work in a month as well. i'll ditch the day schedule and feed on demand and see what happens
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 08:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Poster above - If it helps we saw the ped last week and she said that the expectation that dbs should be sleeping through the night and on a schedule at 3 months is ridiculous. She said db was doing well and to keep doing what we are doing. If we can feed him more during the day, he'll gradually start sleeping more during the night. Good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 08:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
didn't happen for my dd until 6 months. i was up 2-3 times a night, sometimes all night. plus colic until 5 months. good times. he will sleep one day - trust me - and you will view sleep in a whole new light! we did cio at 6 months but only for the initial going to bed part, she immediately just slept through after that. i think she must have just been ready?
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 08:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]do you think having them on a schedule makes a difference? me and my child are very schedule resistant....
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 08:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i didn't do a schedule. put her to sleep when she was tired, fed her when hungry.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 08:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
it took work. a big dinner didn't necessarily help. at 6 mos we cut it down to bf at 11pm-midnight, then once again in the middle of the night, just giving him a pacifier or letting him cry whenever else db woke up. at 7 mos we eliminated the middle of the night feeding, then the midnight feeding. at this point it was surprisingly easy. now db at 8.5 mos goes to bed without fuss at 7pm and doesn't wake up until 7am.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.08, 08:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Anti-CIO moms: do your kids sleep through the night and if so how did you achieve th... 1 reply
- I never did cio, dd slept with us until a month ago, now that she is 16 m, I put her to bed she complains for a minute and sleep through the night, we had to let her cry for 3 days in a row though for only 3/4 min (I've never alowed even that)...
Talk : : November 12, 2008
Anti-CIO moms: do your kids sleep through the night and if so how did you achieve this? DS is 12 months old, still has several night wakings. But we don't want to CIO. He is very happy, well-adjusted, easy baby in all other respects.
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.12.08, 05:58 PM [ Flag ]I never did cio, dd slept with us until a month ago, now that she is 16 m, I put her to bed she complains for a minute and sleep through the night, we had to let her cry for 3 days in a row though for only 3/4 min (I've never alowed even that)
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 06:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Ok, lay it on me: did CIO *not* work for you? I'm not anti, I'm just wondering what ... 16 replies
- cio worked for middle of the night wakings but not...
- While letting him CIO? At what point do you go to him?...cio?...
- you need to be very consistent with the CIO training. they try to wear your out, but when...
- just started cio with my 12 mo, hoping i didnt miss the...As a nursing mom I just cant imagine CIOing a breastfed baby-my two cents. Hang in there!...
Talk : : November 12, 2008
Ok, lay it on me: did CIO *not* work for you? I'm not anti, I'm just wondering what we're up against. Our 12 mo is back to waking at midnight, wanting to nurse, refusing to go back down in the crib, etc. he is a classic high need baby; intense, challenging, and smarter than me & dh. We're wondering what we're in for.
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.12.08, 10:30 AM [ Flagged ]no one? No one has had this experience? crickets????
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 03:00 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]How did it not work for you? Its tough. If you are going to let him CIO you have to maintain that line in the face of anything he can throw at you.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 03:01 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]intense screaming, wailing, low guttural moaning, hitting head on crib wall, the works. seemed to work himself up rather than cool off. It was horrible, and I'm wondering how long this is gonna take?!
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 03:12 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]While letting him CIO? At what point do you go to him? Have you read the ferber book on cio?
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 03:14 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
cio worked for middle of the night wakings but not for bedtime or naps. i wish i hadn't wasted my time. you can give it a shot.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 03:08 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]that's the thing! he goes down fine, I nurse him until he's drowsy, then I put him in the crib, nd walk out, no problem. But? He wakes up at 12 or 2 or 4 and will NOT go back down without a tremendous fight.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 03:13 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]you need to be very consistent with the CIO training. they try to wear your out, but when you don't give in a few times in a row, they get the idea. cio worked wonders for us both night wakings and going to bed. get the Ferber book if you don't have it already.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 03:33 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]that does suck. i feel for you.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 03:38 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]by 12 months, babies should be able to sleep peacefully through the night and not wake up at all. unless sick, travel disruptions, or something like that. stick to the sleep training, it will work. make sure your kid is not hungry.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 04:00 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Also, is he napping well during the day? If he's over-tired when he goes to bed he'll have more wakings during the night. I feel for you! It's really hard but you have to be completely consistent. GL
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 04:10 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
i did not do CIO, but i have heard from others for whom it did not work. He could be going through a growth spurt and needs to eat more during the day, otherwise he's suddenly hungry at night. OR it could be developmental - i remember when ds was really learning a lot of new words he would wake up randomly in the middle of the night to go through all his words (around 18 months i think) and would not go back to sleep for an hour. how about offering water at night?
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 04:09 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]NP: ha! I totally remember that with my first DB. She'd wake up at 4am and we'd hear her on the monitor: "Up, down! Up, down! All done! All done! Daddy! Daddy!" We used to laugh and shut our monitor off for a while and she'd go back to sleep eventually.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 04:13 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
just started cio with my 12 mo, hoping i didnt miss the boat on training this high needs baby - would wake up 4/5 times a night to nurse! made me crasy. hope it works cuz i'm tired of this night nursing.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 08:04 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I think there is a chance this could be just a temporary thing that will pass..maybe its teething or something of similar nature. As a nursing mom I just cant imagine CIOing a breastfed baby-my two cents. Hang in there! Every so often these challenging periods come and you think oh how am i going to make it through this-but we always do!
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 08:13 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Didn't work for us. I honestly believe it depends on the child -- and how far parents are willing to go. Our kid is incredibly stubborn and would scream and scream until he vomited. I just couldn't do it. Wasn't worth it to me. When he got older we tried again and eventually he started sleeping through the night when he was ready. I don't fault people for doing it, but I guess I wasn't as much a hard-ass about sleep as I was about TV. Every mom has her thing, you know?
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 08:44 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]we tried CIO a few times- at 9 mos, again at 12 mos. we weren't good at being consistent and it was a disaster. DB would SCREAM and throw up and hyperventilate. We finally tried it again at 18 mos and it worked like a charm.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 08:52 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
[+] nap training help: 5 month old doesnt nap without nursing. keep trying to put her in ... 44 replies
- wake up 5-8 times a night and only be able to go back to sleep on the boob. Only now are we letting her CIO in the crib for naps and at night. It's absolutely brutal, but she is sleeping in her crib for the first time since...years of age. Before that walking them outside was the only sure-fire way to get them to nap. Others would try some kind of CIO but yours is a little too young to do that....
Talk : : November 12, 2008
nap training help: 5 month old doesnt nap without nursing. keep trying to put her in drowsy but awake. she will lie there happily and not cry, but not SLEEP! how long do i leave her?
44 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.12.08, 08:20 AM [ Flag ]Give her some time to adjust to the crib. Does she have toys in her crib? Mirror? She may just be settling in.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 08:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: i have a video monitor, and i've seen her settle herself back to sleep at night... i think she knows the crib is the sleep place....
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 08:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Sounds like she is resting. Let her rest until she tells you she is done!
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 08:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: she wouldnt sleep AT ALL for 12 hrs if not nursed. not ok!
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 08:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Having her on my boob was the only way to make my kid nap. That or a walk in the stroller or carrier outside. I was okay with that.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 08:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: id be ok with the boob, but she nurses for 20 plus, then goes down for ten or twenty, and wakes tired, wanting more boob
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 08:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^plus, i have a toddler and cant nurse all day and ignore
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 08:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Pack them all up and go out for a walk. That will get all of them to sleep in no time.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 08:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: everyone will sleep, except me, who is surviving on 4-5 hrs a nite!
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]4-5 hours? that's pretty good. This is all temporary. Hang in there and be tough. Having infants usually means no sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 10:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I hear you. I am on my third child and even though we have a toddler as well (who is 20 months old) we got the nap on the boob thing down pretty well.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 08:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: so, went in. gave her 4 oz bottle of expressed milk, then nursed, in case it was hunger keeping her up. burped. she is swaddled. dark room, white noise machine. SHE IS UP AFTER 20 MIN! I'M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND!
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]very normal at that age. do not lose your mind, yet. you are at the beginning of a very long road. despite the sleep thing the infant phase is one of the easiest.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 10:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: i agree. but my first was such a good sleeper at this age, i'm finding it hard to adjust.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 10:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know what you are saying. My first two children were horrible sleeper the first year, year and a half. So the easier third one was like heaven. Hang in there. It will pass.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 10:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
My db does the same sometimes. Sometimes, she'll nap, other times, she'll only "nap" while nursing. She's fine, though, growing well, alert, happy, so I don't really worry about it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 08:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: i wish i could relax about it! my ds took three 2 hr naps at this age. dd, she seems as if she wants to sleep more, but can't settle and then cant stay asleep.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 08:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I guess since db is only child, I couldn't compare her to anything and just figure it's normal. But I really think it is. Like, dh loves to nap in afternoons, I don't. It might just be a personality thing. If she lays in her crib happily, that's great! If she's really tired, she'll sleep, trust me.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: everyone says that, that she'll sleep. but no, she won't. i've tried! there have been days of her up for 8 hrs, then i'll have to put her to bed by nursing at 5pm.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]But does she sleep at night? My db also has been up for 8hrs at a time, but eats normally, sleeps normally at night, so I don't worry.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: some nights she is up every two hours. others, she'll wake once.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]same here. what do you mean by she is always tired during the day? she's yawning, etc.?
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: yes, yawning, pulling ears. i try to nurse her down at first sign of tired, but it isn't working
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Don't nurse her, tho, unless it's time for a feeding. If she's fed and starts to look tired, just put her in the crib. Have you tried that already? Do you close the drapes, etc.?
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: she is fed on demand still, and she demands when she wants to sleep. i know i have to stop this. her room has blackout shades, a white noise machine, and she is swaddled
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: this post started when i nursed and put her down awake, let her hang out for 40 min. then i gave 4 oz bottle and nursed again to sleep, and she woke in TWENTY MINUTES. she is crying now
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]does she sleep if you walk her outside? MY first child was never able to nap well at home. When nap time came I always took a walk with her.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]why'd you give her the bottle? did she start to fuss?
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: because i wanted to make sure she wasn't hungry, and rule out that as reason while she wasnt napping. i figures full belly = good sleep. wrong!
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 10:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: she does, but my toddler is napping, so cant leave house. had sitter this morn so i did walk with her, she slept 20 min outside!
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 10:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hmmm. Next time, I would try just letting her be in her crib. If she doesn't sleep, at least you will have gotten some stuff done!
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 10:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]20 mins sounds pretty good for that age. If it is easier to make her sleep outside I would just plan for a daily stroll with both kids. Whatever works. You cannot make a kid sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 10:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Op: yes, but when do i stop strolling and try letting her learn to sleep in crib? fwiw, my ds was doing 3 two-hour naps at this age!
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 10:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Forget the experience you had with DS. Every kid is very different. My kids gradually became better at sleeping at home in the crib starting at around 2 years of age. Before that walking them outside was the only sure-fire way to get them to nap. Others would try some kind of CIO but yours is a little too young to do that.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 10:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: you know what's frustrating? in stroller, she sucks fingers. for some reason, it doeant occur to her to do this in crib! i thought once she started sucking fingers, i'd be golden!
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 11:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I did the same thing with now 11 mo DD, and it created so many problems. She ended up only sleeping when nursing, which lead to having her sleep in our bed because she would wake up 5-8 times a night and only be able to go back to sleep on the boob. Only now are we letting her CIO in the crib for naps and at night. It's absolutely brutal, but she is sleeping in her crib for the first time since she was about 2 mo, and she's on a nursing schedule now- so I guess it's working. BTW, she cried every time we put her down for the first 5 days, ranging between 3 and 20 mins of crying. BRUTAL.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: yes, i think listening to a dc cry is hard, but at least if my dd would cry then settle, i'd hve a shot at "training." as is, she doesn't cry/doesn't sleep. no lesson in leaving her in there for hours at a time!
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Does she need to nurse to sleep at night? How many hours a day does she sleep? Maybe she's just not tired.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: yes, needs to be nursed to sleep at night, which can take anywhere from 20 min to an hour. she sleeps about 12 hours a day, and this is a good day, when she gets a few half hour naps in. she is very good tempered, but she is ALWAYS tired during the day, wanting to nurse to go down.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 09:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]just nurse her. she's not going to do that forever. how old is the toddler?
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 10:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Op: i have been just nursing her, but then she sleeps for such short amts of time, i wind up nursing every 30 minutes. toddler is 2 and a half. cannot ignore and nurse all day!
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 11:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR: When she wakes up, let her cry. Pck her up if she cries for 30 minutes, and then don't let her sleep again til her next nap time (assuming you have two scheduled naps, which has helped me immensely- our naps are supposed to be 10-11 and 2-4). At that time, put her in without nursing and leave her there until she sleeps. Seriously, this is so much harder now because DD can walk around the crib yelling and stay awake and fight longer, I wish I did this when she was younger!
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Have you tried a pacifier?
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 01:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]When I put db down for naps and he hangs out happily I give him 20 min and then go in and soothe again. usually works like a charm, but I know it's not what you're supposed to do according to the books.
[ Reply | Options ]11.12.08, 05:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] 4 y.o. DD has been banging on the door for half-hour because she wants me to sleep wi... 9 replies
Talk : : November 11, 2008
4 y.o. DD has been banging on the door for half-hour because she wants me to sleep with her. She is actually already in my room, but I just want her to go to sleep alone b/c for the past several nights she has been whining to be with me. She has been super clingy lately. I am basically doing CIO, because my husband gave in last night & I feel we have to break cycle. WWYD? What can I say to her to make her stop doing this & stay in her room?
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.11.08, 06:02 PM [ Flagged ]Be firm that it's bed time. Bed time means she is in bed, ready to sleep. We allow our 5 yo to read in bed, but only with the hallway light on.
[ Reply | Options ]11.11.08, 06:05 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]OP: The thing is I usually try to lock them in (one of those plastic covers on knob until they fall asleep), but sometimes they (twins) get ahead of me out the door & I can't wrangle them both. I can't use physical means, so must use psychological.
[ Reply | Options ]11.11.08, 06:11 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Sounds tough.
[ Reply | Options ]11.11.08, 06:13 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Maybe you can let her stay with you but on a blanket or sleeping bag on the floor next to your bed. She can't be too comfortable, but maybe she just needs her mom for a little while longer.
[ Reply | Options ]11.11.08, 06:05 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]OP: To be honest the easiest thing would be to just lie down with her then -- I am afraid it would become an every night thing. Is that OK? Also a little tricky b/c she shares room w/ twin who then usually wants same treatment once he catches on. He is actually in my room now, too -- just not screaming -- probably just going through my prescriptions or something...
[ Reply | Options ]11.11.08, 06:09 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I lay down with my dd pretty much every night. After about 5 min I'd tell her that I needed to go eat my dinner/use the bathroom and then I wouldn't go back. Probably lasted about 2-3 months. Now she's fine.
[ Reply | Options ]11.11.08, 06:14 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Well my mom always asked "Will she be doing this when she's 18?" No.... so let her in.
[ Reply | Options ]11.11.08, 06:07 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]do like Super Nanny says. 1st time walk her in and say it's night time you sleep in your onw bed. 2nd time, wlak her in and say good night. 3rd and every time after, walk her in and say nothing. no communication at all. it may be bad for the first night but she will get the picture. during the day, talk about how much you love her and how good she is doing going to bed on her own.
[ Reply | Options ]11.11.08, 06:10 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]This is what my ped had us do and it worked. It was hard and took a few days but so worth it. Stay firm it is important.
[ Reply | Options ]11.11.08, 06:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Getting ready to start CIO for naps for 6 mo old who only catnaps (30 min max) at dif... 7 replies
Talk : : November 11, 2008
Getting ready to start CIO for naps for 6 mo old who only catnaps (30 min max) at diff times every day. Need advice/encouragement (or warnings!), am worried b/c I've heard that it often doesn't work for naps....anyone btdt??
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.11.08, 04:16 PM [ Flagged ]i did it for naps cause i got sick of rocking dd to sleep for each nap. It was so much better than expected, she cried for less than 10 minutes the first time and I got used to be able to tolerate hearing her cry. Just tell yourself that your db is not hurt and won't remember a thing when he/she wakes up and that he/she is tired and needs the nap. I did it for naps cause at night she fell asleep nursing-this was at 4.5 months. A friend of mine did it with her 3.5 month old and it was not so bad. I am SO glad I did it because now not only does she fall asleep on her own for naps, but also, at night i put her down awake and she doesn't cry at all. GL be strong. I also used to run the sink water or put the tv on loud so i did not hear the crying.
[ Reply | Options ]11.11.08, 05:03 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I tried this off and on for two months (3.5 - 5.5), using the Weissbluth book. I followed the book to the letter and got no results. The book briefly mentions that some babies don't develop regular long naps until much later. So my warning is that you can do it all perfectly and it still might not work. If so, don't beat yourself up. My 6.5 mo is finally starting to take a better morning nap most days.
[ Reply | Options ]11.11.08, 05:11 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]^^^I also gave in and started nursing him down for naps, which is the only way I can get him to go to sleep in the first place. It works well for us.
[ Reply | Options ]11.11.08, 05:12 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]op - thx. this is what i am fearful of - following everything to the letter for a week or 2, having to hear db cry for hours, and it not working in the end...
[ Reply | Options ]11.11.08, 05:25 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Yeah, in some ways I regret putting db through it. On the other hand, there was no other way for me to find out that he simply can't nap for longer than 30 min.
[ Reply | Options ]11.11.08, 05:29 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]i know that this won't happen, but i am also somehow worried about affecting db's personality...is really very sweet & happy & loving, and am scared this will somehow change that. please reassure me that it will not!
[ Reply | Options ]11.11.08, 05:51 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I know what you mean. My db has always been difficult, but I worried that he would become fearful or less trusting. I don't see any evidence of that, but I still worry sometimes. So I guess I can't be very reassuring! My best advice is to do everything to the letter for a week or so, then quit if you're not seeing results. I thought that certainly it would work if I just tried hard enough. Now I wish I had given up sooner.
[ Reply | Options ]11.11.08, 06:11 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
[+] The UB Nightmare: i'm a SAHM who is president of fabulous fashion education non-prof... 1 reply
- and we did CIO for each of our kids who started sleeping through the night at 6 days old....
Talk : : November 10, 2008
The UB Nightmare: i'm a SAHM who is president of fabulous fashion education non-profit hedge fund, married to a gorgeous sensitive attentive SAHD who is a teacher i-banker, with 4 kids who all got 99x3 on ERB's and are so smart they each go to Hunter and Dalton. We live in the West Village of Larchmont with a live-in daycare. I never work out except for running marathons, i ebf'd each kid for 3 years, serving only organic formula, and have 4 Bugaboo Mclarens. And i'm best friends and frenemies with all of you.
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.10.08, 07:14 PM [ Flag ]and we did CIO for each of our kids who started sleeping through the night at 6 days old.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 07:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] So we have two children (4.5 yo and 22 mo) sharing a room and the little one is wakin... 6 replies
- Same boat (Kindergartener who definitely needs her sleep shares room with 21 mos). We have to let the toddler CIO whenever she wakes up during the night (which happens about one third or one half of all nights). The older one will come into our bedroom. It really sucks to have everyone in the house's sleep disrupted, but what can we do? It's just going to suck until the toddler gets a little older and sleeps better. WAkes every day around 5:30...
Talk : : November 10, 2008
So we have two children (4.5 yo and 22 mo) sharing a room and the little one is waking the whole house at about 5:30 AM every morning. He is no longer in his crib (climbed out three months ago) and wakes and tries to get in bed with dd or comes in our room. Any suggestions for getting him to sleep later? Anyone else in a similar situation?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.10.08, 07:25 AM [ Flagged ]is he napping?
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 07:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]he is -- usually for about two hours or so and he is really ready for a nap most days!
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 07:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i think you either have to drop the nap or just grin and bear it. teach him to come straight into your room in the morning.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 07:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Same boat (Kindergartener who definitely needs her sleep shares room with 21 mos). We have to let the toddler CIO whenever she wakes up during the night (which happens about one third or one half of all nights). The older one will come into our bedroom. It really sucks to have everyone in the house's sleep disrupted, but what can we do? It's just going to suck until the toddler gets a little older and sleeps better. WAkes every day around 5:30 a.m.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 07:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I hear you. Supposedly the younger one will learn to sleep better -- I just wish it would happen sooner rather than later.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 07:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Was this happening even before Daylight Savings? Our dd is finally getting closer to her normal wake time, but it's been hellish for the past week.
[ Reply | Options ]11.10.08, 07:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] What is the best swing for a baby that NEVER sleeps? 6 replies
- not on your life. if she slept, i did not wake her. we had colic and minimal sleep for those 5 months. did cio at 6 and she immediately went to 12 hours per night. not kidding. put her in crib at 5 months - awake 2-3 times after midnight but the transition from swing to crib was okay. still nursed....
Talk : : November 09, 2008
What is the best swing for a baby that NEVER sleeps?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.09.08, 11:53 AM [ Flag ]we used the pappasan swing (i think it was fisher price). she slept there for 5 months...music/swings two different directions.
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.08, 11:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]did you change her diaper during that time? ;-)
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.08, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]not on your life. if she slept, i did not wake her. we had colic and minimal sleep for those 5 months. did cio at 6 and she immediately went to 12 hours per night. not kidding. put her in crib at 5 months - awake 2-3 times after midnight but the transition from swing to crib was okay. still nursed.
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.08, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^oh - ha ha. i only wish she had slept through those first 5 months (actually only the first 3). lol.
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.08, 12:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
op - is that a high powered one? i tried a middle of the road one and it didn't work at all and someone suggested getting a "good" one, but I don't know what that means
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.08, 12:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]it was high powered but the heavier she got, the more batteries it took. plus you turn down the rocking to low setting as/after they fall asleep. i would try to get one with a cord/plug in.
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.08, 12:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] dd is 10mo. she sleeps from about 8:45 to 7, sometimes 8 if we're lucky. BUT she wake... 4 replies
- CIO after 3 am...
- central nervous system that regulates sleep doesn't mature enough to allow them to get to sleep without our help til around the age of two. Sure, you could CIO but it doesn't sound like that's your style, if you are one of the many moms who dislike the idea because of why it works on...
Talk : : August 16, 2008
dd is 10mo. she sleeps from about 8:45 to 7, sometimes 8 if we're lucky. BUT she wakes up 2x every night. once at 2am or 3am, then at 5:30am. i go into her room the first time and b/f her, which puts her back to sleep quickly. whole things takes 10 minutes usually. when i go to her room at 5:30am, she is standing up in crib and refuses to go back into it, even after i b/f her. so i take her into our bed, where she sleeps until 7 or 8. PLEASE--what can i do to make her wake up one less time in the night, or never?? what am i doing wrong?
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.16.08, 01:23 PM [ Flag ]CIO after 3 am
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 01:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]cruel
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 03:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You sound like a very responsive mama, and I don't think you are doing a thing wrong. Her night sounds like a very typical ten month old's night, and they are like that because 1) they get hungry and 2)the part of the central nervous system that regulates sleep doesn't mature enough to allow them to get to sleep without our help til around the age of two. Sure, you could CIO but it doesn't sound like that's your style, if you are one of the many moms who dislike the idea because of why it works on some babies, join the club! There are many many ways to gently influence a baby's sleep patterns, if you feel like chatting about some ideas, come over to http://mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=-1&f=37
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 03:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you sound like a total shit, in my opinion. you had a baby - what did you expect, a robot????
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 03:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Sleep advice, PLEASE?! Our 9 mo isn't a terrible sleeper, but he still can't fall asl... 16 replies
- new skills (walking) and have lighter sleep. I am totally against CIO, the book suggest sitting next to them and patting them on their back etc....
- NP: I'm actually someone who did CIO (we tried nursing and rocking our dd to sleep and that...me as well. I just said personally I would not consider CIO, but everyone is different and have to do their own choices....
- Oh totally! I was just adding I'm not against CIO and I think OP is doing something great....
Talk : : August 15, 2008
Sleep advice, PLEASE?! Our 9 mo isn't a terrible sleeper, but he still can't fall asleep on his own. Every night I nurse him until he's drowsy, then I put him in his crib awake. If I walk out of the room, he wails and cries and revs himself up, so I go back in and hold his hand through the crib rails until he's out.It only takes about 10 min. I don't mind this, but I'm getting crap from friends who claim I'm doing him a disservice, not teaching him to self soothe. wwyd?
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.15.08, 09:51 AM [ Flag ]I don't think you are doing him a disservice, but at some point down the line it may take him longer to fall asleep and it may become more annoying for you and you can't assume he will grow out of it on his own. I am a WOHM so I stay with DD until she falls asleep. I find it really annoying now at two years b/c it takes her a long time to go to sleep. But she's two years old - that's very young - and I highly doubt I will be going to live in her dorm room with her b/c I didn't train her as a toddler.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np and ITA. its only a problem if its a problem for you adn your family, regardless of what others think. at that age my oldest did want to be soothed to sleep, but he grew out of it -- and when he was two, i sat in his room reading with a book light for a while before he dropped off. it was a nice break, but then again i didnt have a 2d kid at the time.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think you are doing a wonderful thing for your ds. He must find it very comforting to hold your hand while he falls asleep. It's not like you are rocking and the like for hours on end. He's 9 months old. That's still quite young. Your baby is only a baby for such a brief instant in the long run. Enjoy it while you can. In a flash it will be a teenager who wants a lock on their door!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]F^ck your friends! Do what works for you and your child. The connection is broken so early in life for so many families. One way people make themselves comfortable is by insisting others should do the same. My 12 and 14 yr old were like this. Each remains unusually affectionate and close with us. The younger (a boy) still likes a tuck-in and kiss. Neither one consistently went to sleep entirely on his/her own until the preK age. We didn't mind and just ignored meddlers.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: thank you! I don't know why I'm so aware of others judging all of the sudden. It's not all my friends, just a select couple...the same ones actually, who said "get that kid off your boob! you can't nurse him every time he has a meltdown." He was 4 months old! Sigh....
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i'm shocked! is there any way you can stop hanging out with this select couple? i have different views on parenting than my friends, but i wouldnt criticize them to their face! (altho, i may comment to my husband about it..cuz i just dont get it.)
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Practice saying "Thank you for your concern" and "We're doing just fine, thanks" When really pressed, "Why do you ask?"
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
we got great help from asleep consultant-baby.sleep@yahoo.com
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 06:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP does not need help Ms. Spamalot
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 04:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
we got help from a wonderful woman-sleep.baby@yahoo.com
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 06:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Self soothing doesn't truly kick in til their central nervous system is more mature - around two years. You going in and holding his hand is a wonderful thing, meeting his need for connection and help relaxing back into sleep during the night. What I would do is ignore the jerks who don't know a thing about infant sleep biology.
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 03:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]According to the book touchpoints it is very normal that they do this from month 9 to 13. This is due to that they are learning new skills (walking) and have lighter sleep. I am totally against CIO, the book suggest sitting next to them and patting them on their back etc.
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 04:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: I'm actually someone who did CIO (we tried nursing and rocking our dd to sleep and that worked until about 6 mos or so, after which it actually wound her up more). I'm envious that OP has a way to help soothe her baby that is NOT exhausting for her (as in, up all night with him) but helps in a way he finds comforting. OP sounds fine to me
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 04:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes to me as well. I just said personally I would not consider CIO, but everyone is different and have to do their own choices.
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 04:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh totally! I was just adding I'm not against CIO and I think OP is doing something great.
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 04:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am not from the US and I never even heard about it before I came here, so it is such a strange concept for me (not saying it is wrong or does not work).
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 04:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] help. fear i've screwed my kid up. 17mos and doesn't regularly sleep through the nigh... 6 replies
- Does CIO work for an older child?...
Talk : : August 14, 2008
help. fear i've screwed my kid up. 17mos and doesn't regularly sleep through the night- goes through phases, sometimes she does and sometimes she doesn't. Insists on being rocked to sleep, and getting increasingly harder to get to sleep (she's so big now that she's uncomfortable in the rocking chair, but won't let me put her in crib until she's totally asleep). we tried CIO twice when she was around 9 mos and again at around 11 mos and she screamed until she threw up and hyperventilated. has historically only used paci to fall asleep but past week or so has started asking for it during the day. DH is incredible, and spends almost as much time w DD as I do (I'm a WOHM) but yet DD freaks out when i'm not around. won't let anyone else put her to bed, won't let DH comfort her. DD is starting to throw insane tantrums when things aren't exactly as she wants them- she screams bloody murder for a LONG time, until i fear she'll blow out her voice or something. for the most part, she's an exceptional kid- very mellow and well-behaved except for these issues. do we just ride this out and eventually she'll sleep through the night and stop wanting to be rocked to sleep? what about everything else?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.14.08, 11:31 AM [ Flag ]poor you. i feel for you. admittedly, teaching healthy sleep habits is easier when they are younger, you can totally fix her now if you and dh are dedicated. does she nap regularly?
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 11:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, takes one 2-hour nap each day. (sometimes 90 min, sometimes up to 3 hours). what do i do about her insistence on mommy being there all the time? she's fine with the nanny.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 11:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]this is the age of great separation anxiety (til like 2.5 i think) i have friend who is child shrink and she says dont fight it if possible. you can change anything, but it will take a few horrible screaming crying days.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 11:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
That sounds very hard. Did your ped have any advice (esp. re: the throwing up & hypverventilating?). If it were me I'd probably do a very committed CIO--not going back in or anything like that. I think it confuses them when you do the phased kind of thing. It's just no good for anyone to have a situation where the child doesn't "let" you leave the room, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 12:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Does CIO work for an older child?
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It should. It's a behavior modification right? My kids were sleeping through before one year. But when we switched to big beds we had them popping out sometimes and had to do the walk-them-back-without-talking thing.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 12:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Have 3 mo ds, thinking about sleep training but not sure which method to use. He usua... 3 replies
- Talk to Ped about what weight he/she is comfortable allowing you to to CIO then try a modified Wesibluth or Ferber method...
Talk : : August 13, 2008
Have 3 mo ds, thinking about sleep training but not sure which method to use. He usually goes down at 7pm, wakes at 10:30, 1:30, 3:30 and 5:00am. I am really needing more sleep since I go back to work in less than 20 days. Any suggestions?
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.13.08, 09:08 PM [ Flag ]You can't do sleep training until 4 months old
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 04:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Have DH handle the 10:30 waking and at least then you can get a longer chunk of sleep. Most books suggest that 3 mo is too young for sleep training.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 04:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Talk to Ped about what weight he/she is comfortable allowing you to to CIO then try a modified Wesibluth or Ferber method... usually gets the job done
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 04:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I'm 12 weeks pregnant. When did you go from looking like maybe you just gained a cou... 12 replies
- time someone who is 1st pg says that they don't mind ppl touching their belly, I will tell them, "just wait." I know that might not be true for you, but enjoy not having random ppl touching you and and giving you obnoxious unsolicited cio/bf'ing/birthing/childcare/SAH vs working mom advice! You can still blend and not get stupid "oh look at your belly button" comments. I guess I just miss being able to have a quiet, private day when I want to....
Talk : : August 13, 2008
I'm 12 weeks pregnant. When did you go from looking like maybe you just gained a couple lbs to actually looking pregnant? I can't wait to have a pregnant belly but now my uterus is still so small (and baby is measuring great, we've seen it many times and recently). TIA
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.13.08, 11:54 AM [ Flag ]With baby #1, not until easily 20 weeks. Maybe more.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was about 6m pg before I told my work colleagues and they hadn't guessed.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP - ok thanks. This is my second pregnancy but first that has gone this far and I am just craving the belly...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I "popped" at 23 weeks. no one knew before then. but what is the rush?? enjoy that flat belly while it lasts!! lol.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yeah, you'll wish for it later :)
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:00 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]OP - I know, I'm sure I will! But now I just want to look pregnant and also to buy maternity clothes because things still fit, but uncomfortably. Going to go shopping now for some dresses...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i see lots of flowy tops out there these days that look maternity but are in "normal" stores. I also bought a few "normal" items in a size or two up from normal for the first 2 trimesters - they worked pretty well - especially skirts. they are also good for post partum -- i just put my big sizes away 1 year after delivery. yes - it took me a while to get back to old size!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 01:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
it gets old having ppl touch your belly, I told DH last week "the next time someone who is 1st pg says that they don't mind ppl touching their belly, I will tell them, "just wait." I know that might not be true for you, but enjoy not having random ppl touching you and and giving you obnoxious unsolicited cio/bf'ing/birthing/childcare/SAH vs working mom advice! You can still blend and not get stupid "oh look at your belly button" comments. I guess I just miss being able to have a quiet, private day when I want to.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP - I hear you. I think it also has to do with how much people have worked to get pregnant...I know I take nothing for granted with this pregnancy because of what I've been through. And trust me, I have no intention of letting strangers or colleagues touch my belly. "Oh wow, that's so personal" - I've seen women say that and pull back and I think it's a great response...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I like this reponse! And it did take us awhile to get pg, I had a friend say try to finish what I was saying by piping in, "Oh, because it took you so long to get pg" when I was talking about baby clothes or something totally different... like she is some kind of fertility goddess. I guess the whole thing IS very personal and ppl forget that, and they forget how panicked you might be or how you might be freaked out about doing a good job or about $ or about weird body changes- so no "popped belly button" comments!
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 09:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
With #1 I didn't really pop until my 9th month. I had already had my baby by the time most people realized I was pregnant. With #2 10wks!!!! I could keep it a secret if I'd wanted to.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] how long would you let a 1-month old cry in her crib? 19 replies
- np ITA and I'm a bit proponent of CIO at the right time. 1 mo is way too ealry!...
Talk : : August 13, 2008
how long would you let a 1-month old cry in her crib?
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.13.08, 11:19 AM [ Flag ]I wouldn't but I'm a wimp.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA: I didn't start to let dd cry at all until she was 4-5 months.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
10 seconds
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]or like, 2 mins if you had to pee or finish washing hands. more than that, NO WAY
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITTTTTA
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I wouldn't. Kind of young to learn self-soothing.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]1 months olds are crying because they need something--food, diaper change, you. Leaving them to cry is cruel.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np ITA and I'm a bit proponent of CIO at the right time. 1 mo is way too ealry!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^big
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]agreed, too early to self soothe. Get a book called "The Happiest Baby in the World" or something like that. Incredibly helpful and I'm not a big fan of the how to books but this one's good.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]The DVD is better b/c he demonstrates his swaddling technique.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: ITA too. Super cruel, Sounds like that jerk Babywise author, that sicko who puts newborns on a schedule. YUCK. (That said if you feel like you are so angry or tired you might hurt the baby, better to put the baby down in a crib and walk away for a few minutes to call a friend)
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
2 seconds. no more. don't let sub 6month olds cry it out. Call your doc if you are unsure of this or get "healthy sleep habits, healthy kids".
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]not for a single moment. What the hell is wrong with you even asking this question?? I swear to God, some people should just not be parents.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yikes! Maybe she's just a new parent and trying to figure things out.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]how obnoxious. im sure you have all the answers and have never needed help.
[ Reply | Options ]08.20.08, 07:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
um. As long as it took me to get to her, pick her up and comfort her.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]If she cries a lot, maybe try wearing her so that you can do things around the house, walk around etc
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOL I thought you said "try WEANING her." As it is--ITTTTA. The sling is your friend.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] At what age did your db sleep through the night and did you do anything in particular... 11 replies
- 9 months (7 adjusted) and DD 5 months. We did a modified CIO w/ DS and regular CIO w/ DD. They both attached to particular loveys early which helped, as...11 hours without a peep. (For all those who insist that if you don't CIO, they will never sleep. I'm not anti-CIO btw. I was just too much of a...bed each night. #2 didn't sleep through until 7 months old when i finally CIO'd for the final feeding. Nothing worked...
Talk : : August 12, 2008
At what age did your db sleep through the night and did you do anything in particular that helped?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.12.08, 07:02 PM [ Flag ]at about 4 months - bedtime routine I think helped, as did putting her in her own room vs ours
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What was your routine?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]book, bath, little baby massage, nurse to sleep (though I think we will be screwed when I wean)
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^think the beginning of solids did help as well
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
All the way through--DS about 9 months (7 adjusted) and DD 5 months. We did a modified CIO w/ DS and regular CIO w/ DD. They both attached to particular loveys early which helped, as did a solid bedtime routine. And the fact that DS took a binky and DD sucks her thumb.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]dd#1 - through the night at 5 weeks.... formula at night and swaddle. dd#2 - through the night at 11 weeks...formula at night and swaddle. They were both swaddled until at least 6 months.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]2yo.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm with you on this one
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^and I swaddled and tried formula at night etc, etc. One day he just started sleeping through.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes. Had nothing to do with me. He sleeps great now at 5. Usually 11 hours without a peep. (For all those who insist that if you don't CIO, they will never sleep. I'm not anti-CIO btw. I was just too much of a wimp!)
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
#1, at 8 weeks he did 6 hours and by 11 wks, 8 hours. I started a strict bedtime routine by 6 wks, dream fed before I went to bed each night. #2 didn't sleep through until 7 months old when i finally CIO'd for the final feeding. Nothing worked...nothing. He was still doing 2 feedings at 4 months old despite being enormous for his age. I dropped the first one by giving him a bottle with water in it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Can you please tell me (without flaming) why you are anti-CIO? We're kind of at our e... 25 replies
- was a reluctant CIOer. Everything I read suggested that CIO was cruel, would traumatize DD and interfere with..., it just seemed mean. I tried everything except CIO, but our sleep situation was horrible, and I...there is a good percentage of kids where cio will not work and they just get more...I think about it, the more I now believe, CIO (and the like) require that we project onto...because they're the right things to do. CIO is not right for every child, but if it...
Talk : : August 12, 2008
Can you please tell me (without flaming) why you are anti-CIO? We're kind of at our end w/9 month old ds and the sleep situation, but have been bombarded (Dr. Sears etc) with warnings not to cry it out. Still, it does seem to work. Can someone please softly enlighten me?
25 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.12.08, 10:22 AM [ Flag ]I was a reluctant CIOer. Everything I read suggested that CIO was cruel, would traumatize DD and interfere with bonding, etc. Plus, it just seemed mean. I tried everything except CIO, but our sleep situation was horrible, and I finally broke down and did it. Now she's a totally different baby--happy in the morning, happy to go down at night (no more crying). Good luck to you whatever you decide.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. he goes in just fine, but if i even move an inch towards the door, he screams like his crib is on fire. and filled with snakes. this is repeated again at 3 am. we just thought he'd be soothing to sleep by now?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
there are modified version of crying it out where you don't have to totally abandon them... i feel strongly that a great lesson for your child, and gift, is to teach them how to fall asleep on their own and learn to comfort themselves. Sleep is crucial...
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What is the sleep situation? We have 3.8 yo who did not sleep through the night until 18 mo. We did not do CIO. It took a while but almost always sleeps through the night and is very easy to put to bed now.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, first I lay down w/ him in our bed to mellow him out. I talk softly etc. Then I put him in his crib and stand there, patting him and shhing for half an hour! Then, at 3 or 4, I do it again, only that time, I nurse him too.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I never layed down with DD. Put her in the crib and kept going back in and soothing, laying back down. If she was crying for more then 20 minutes. We would take out. We did this whole ritual before hand that we still do and that really helps. Do you do a ritual?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We sort of have a ritual. PJs then nursing, then laying down in the bed for some quiet time. He likes to play in the bath, so bath time doesn't really mellow him out. Neither does reading bc he just like to yell at the pictures etc. He's tough to chill out is what I'm getting at!
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We put on nursed, pj's, read a book, sing a song (same one) and then to bed. We've added vitamins and tooth brushing now that she is older. This has worked well for us. We've been doing it since about 5mo.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Personally, I am anti-CIO because I think your db is a baby for a such a short period of time. And in that small time capsule, you need to be there for them if they are scared, lonely etc. Trust me, you will not b rocking them to sleep when they are 10!
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Except that many children cry several times a night and their parents eventually cannot function with out real sleep. Maybe they have a job, other children at home, operate heavy machinery, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]If you have a functional family you and DH can take turns. The baby does not be nursed every time she wakes up. Let DH handle those cases.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i didn't do it for some grand reason, only that I felt that I didn't need to let him cry and that period would last such a short time.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]can't speak for anyone else but here's what i think. i think cio is great for a kid that is tired but just can't fall asleep without a little fussing. you can spend 20 minutes rocking them or you can spend three minutes letting them cry out a little energy and then they fall asleep. i also think it's ok in a time when rocking to sleep doesn't work and/or the mom is just at the end of her rope. if the kid is crying/fussing while you hold them, let them cry in bed while you clear your head. i think there is a good percentage of kids where cio will not work and they just get more wired and angry and less likely to go to sleep. if you think it'll work for your child, go ahead and try. but set a time limit on how long the trial should last. and stick to it - don't go in sooner or wait longer. good luck.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i am anti-CIO for the reasons what you and others said. its stressful for the baby, traumatic, only teaches them that he cant trust an adult to be there for him, etc. i know that sometimes its the only thing that will work. i think it all depends on what you believe. i just dont have the heart to do it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]And parents who do are heartless and should have their kids taken away.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Are you for real?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Ditto. Most kids will sleep fine between 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 years of age.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]And you'll just be a zombie in your own life until then? Nevermind my job that buys the food my child eats and pays our rent. Nevermind that my child is clearly exhausted from waking every 2 hours all night? Being a parent means sometimes doing the things that are hard because they're the right things to do. CIO is not right for every child, but if it's right for your child, you should do your job as a parent and tend to your child's needs.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why do feel the need to defend yourself? I was just stating a fact. Most times CIO is NOT necessary if you can deal with the consequences (sleep deprivation). In our case we could. DH and I shared the responsibilities and we all got enough sleep to function (with a few days interruption here and there). If you can't hack it, by all means, let your child cry. My comment was targeted at new parents who think that CIO is the only means to get a kid to sleep. Btw, if you nurse your baby back to sleep at night and opt to cosleep there is hardly any sleep lost for anybody.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]And who in this thread is a brand new parent who thinks CIO is the only way?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I doubt any new parents are all in for CIO. It's usually parents who, after about 10-12 months are ready to try anything
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]How would I know? Just stating the obvious. Again, if you end the end of your rope do what you think is needed. Just do not attack me because I am stuck it out with my children.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I was all for CIO. I had read Weissbluth and it fit with my German/analytic mentality. My wife countered with something she had read, letting children just cry and cry teaches them to cry. Get in front of that and you're less likely to have a screamer/crier. Since you couldn't do mine then hers I agreed to try hers. It worked. We put ds to sleep and he slept. When he cried we consoled him back to sleep. We (my insistence) never co-slept. The more I think about it, the more I now believe, CIO (and the like) require that we project onto our kids a level of awareness/rational thought which they just don't have.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I did not read any of the other replies here, so excuse me if this has already been said. We did not let any of our three children cry it out at night or for naps no matter what crappy sleepers they were. I admit that we were that close with #1 but did not have the heart to try it. At around the age of 18 - 24 months he started to sleep like an angel. With #2 and #3 we already knew that crappy sleep is a temporary thing and were prepared. And we were right. At around the same age they all slept predictably well.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] If you child has problem sleeping, can't you just go into their room and cuddle with ... 29 replies
- read Weissbluth. he talks about CIO...
- explain above and have been successfull with it or not used CIO with good results?...
- I read Weissbluth who is a ped. sleep specialist. he realizes CIO is hard on parents and gives you an alternative if you...
- We did not do CIO but I found some really interesting general inf/thoughts in...
Talk : : August 12, 2008
If you child has problem sleeping, can't you just go into their room and cuddle with them without taking them out of bed or into yours? I don't feel comfortable doing CIO.
29 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.12.08, 08:15 AM [ Flag ]You can do whatever works for you and your child. there are no rules.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]No Shit Sherlock, thanks for that helpful answer.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]read Weissbluth. he talks about CIO
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I just said I don't want to do CIO. I am not letting my kid lay there and cry by himself. Nada.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]uh I know. weissbluth talks about alternatives. jeez. i didn't do cio. i found his book extremely helpful
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP is seriously grouchy. don't take it personally.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am not. She clearly needs a nap
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Then go snuggle with him. Eventually, maybe by the time he goes to high school, he'll sleep through the night.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We did not do CIO but I found some really interesting general inf/thoughts in Weissbluth.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Do you have a REAL question then? What is your question?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Is it really that difficult? Ok. QUESTION: Is there any mothers out there that has been doing something similar that I explain above and have been successfull with it or not used CIO with good results?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes. I read Weissbluth who is a ped. sleep specialist. he realizes CIO is hard on parents and gives you an alternative if you don't want to CIO. I didn't CIO. But I didn't spend half the night "cuddling" with my son because I have a life and need to sleep too. I know you might find reading hard, but it can be a valuable experience.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You might find reading hard? Yeah, that's why I have a Ph.D. "Spend the half night cuddling" - did I say I was going to do this? Would it be better to lissen to him scream the half night?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]wow. then you tell me what you want to hear. clearly you are looking for someone to answer you with the exact sentence you are thinking of.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am asking a very straightforward question and I just get snotty comments back. The answer below is normal.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]No. people are giving you answers and you are the one with the snotty comments.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]So "You can do whatever works for you and your child. there are no rules" etc. are good answers. Whatever - I don't have time for this.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It might not be a good answer... but it was certainly not a snotty comment.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]So you would call that a friendly and helpful reply?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am OR, and that is how I intended it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You really need to watch that attitude or no olympics tonight, young lady. And no dessert.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well it is just boring US swimming and gymnastics anyway.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
you need some sleep, you havent answer a q yes, without being an ass
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]And the rest here has? ...
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
try "good night sleep tight" by kim west - realistic non-CIO alternatives. totally worked for me and I was *not* comfortable with traditional ferber.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op; I will. Thank you for some finally good advice.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
maybe you can crate train like with a dog
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ].. and how did this work for your child?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
God, you're an ass.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Anyone NOT do cio and have a DB who eventually ended up being a good sleeper? 7 replies
- never did cio, it all worked out fine...
- I read in that book "The Baby Bible" by Sears something that CIO was not a good idea. Just teaches the child to not trust you or something. I know several...kids sleep fine. I know I am not going to be able to lissen to my db CIO, but I will not take him up into bed either. Just a phase one have to suffer...
Talk : : August 11, 2008
Anyone NOT do cio and have a DB who eventually ended up being a good sleeper?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.11.08, 04:13 PM [ Flag ]nope.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 04:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]julie?
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 04:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
never did cio, it all worked out fine
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 04:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]YES, my DD was nursed to sleep until she turned about 6 months. one night she didn't fall asleep nursing and i figured i'd give it a shot and put her to bed and sure enought she was fine and fell fast asleep. now with # 2, it's a different story. pretty good sleeper but still nursed or rocked to sleep at 1 YO
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 04:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I read in that book "The Baby Bible" by Sears something that CIO was not a good idea. Just teaches the child to not trust you or something. I know several who has not used it and their kids sleep fine. I know I am not going to be able to lissen to my db CIO, but I will not take him up into bed either. Just a phase one have to suffer through I guess.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 04:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]The Baby Book not Bible - LOL...
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 05:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
yes, at 2 1/2 years old for both kids!
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 04:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] 20mos old just starting crying at naptime...last 4days. CIO? i feel terrible..seems t...
Talk : : August 11, 2008
[+] Is the CIO method not considered old fashioned? Is it not the point to make the baby ... 9 replies
- My kids are now almost 6 and 4. Did not do CIO, there are times that I think they don't self sooth as well as others, but I wouldn't...
- I know plenty of people who has not done CIO and they are perfectly fine. No stress whatsoever. I also know alot of people who started the CIO and got themselves into more trouble...
Talk : : August 11, 2008
Is the CIO method not considered old fashioned? Is it not the point to make the baby trust you so that he/she is secure ? Why would you let your baby cry it out in the dark by themselves?
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.11.08, 08:58 AM [ Flag ]basic tenet is teaching self-soothing. harsh, tho, imho.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]But you will also teach them that mum does not come when I cry ?
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]mum does not come when it's nap/bedtime and I cry. that's my time to self-soothe and sleep,.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am so not doing it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
My kids are now almost 6 and 4. Did not do CIO, there are times that I think they don't self sooth as well as others, but I wouldn't have it any other way. A six month old does not need self soothing in their skill set. I'm sure my kids will figure it our entirely in the next year or two.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't know, if you let your child do that when you lived in a cave, all of you would have been eaten.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]tee hee
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I know plenty of people who has not done CIO and they are perfectly fine. No stress whatsoever. I also know alot of people who started the CIO and got themselves into more trouble...
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I wouldn't. Ever. And didn't, with two kids (who sleep fine, thankyouverymuch.) Don't see the appeal at all.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] anyone have to do CIO with reflux baby? Need advice...baby wakes up 5 times at night... 5 replies
Talk : : August 10, 2008
anyone have to do CIO with reflux baby? Need advice...baby wakes up 5 times at night and I already have the crib inclined etc...when does it get better?
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.10.08, 08:35 PM [ Flag ]don't all babies wake up that much a night, my 5 month old does, no reflux
[ Reply | Options ]08.10.08, 08:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]really? baby is 4months and I thought he should be up only twice a night
[ Reply | Options ]08.10.08, 08:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I co-sleep so I'm there for it all, but some nights (like the last two) she is up at least 5 times. Others, she makes it through for nearly 6 hours. It just varies, right?
[ Reply | Options ]08.10.08, 08:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what about tilting the baby to her side - this helped with our son. We rolled up a shirt and stuck it behind him. Have you tried medication - that has worked wonders for some babies. GL
[ Reply | Options ]08.10.08, 08:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]hes already on Axid, but doesn't seem to be working. I have tried tilting to the side but it doesn't work for him....
[ Reply | Options ]08.10.08, 08:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Is clan=based hunter-gatherer lifestyle good for Ivy admissions? DH is a bushman but ... 7 replies
- only if you let your children CIO, potty train in infancy, and never ever nurse! These actions will provide the proper balance to his primitivism...
Talk : : August 07, 2008
Is clan=based hunter-gatherer lifestyle good for Ivy admissions? DH is a bushman but I feel this is a disadvantage on applications.
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.07.08, 12:21 PM [ Flag ]Kalahari prep had good Ivy results last year, but if you're not in Bechuanaland pre-K, good luck getting in
[ Reply | Options ]08.07.08, 12:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]DH's family gave one of the main huts at KP, so not worried about that, but DS can barely hold a blowgun. Grades will be an issue.
[ Reply | Options ]08.07.08, 12:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]VBA
[ Reply | Options ]08.07.08, 12:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ok, seriously - what language is this?
[ Reply | Options ]08.07.08, 12:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry! I thought I was posting on the Tribal board
[ Reply | Options ]08.07.08, 12:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]lol I'm with you
[ Reply | Options ]08.07.08, 12:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
only if you let your children CIO, potty train in infancy, and never ever nurse! These actions will provide the proper balance to his primitivism
[ Reply | Options ]08.07.08, 12:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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