George Pimentel/Getty Images; INFdaily.com

If you know Lou at all, you know he gets around. When it comes to Hollywood, there isn't a hydrant he hasn’t sniffed, an after-hours kennel he can’t get into or a well-heeled celebrity leg he hasn’t humped.

Once again, we caught up with McHale’s best friend, and this time while Lou was hanging out at Los Angeles International Airport, where he likes to sit in the Admiral’s Lounge lapping white russians from his sandalwood bowl, watching the lady dogs de-plane. Or as he likes to call them, “fresh caged meat.” Now more of Lou’s frank takes on the canines of Tinsel Town.

Hillary Duff’s Lola: I’ll tell you one thing about that bitch, she’s into toys. Big time. I can handle that, of course. I mean, I’ve been into rope play for years, but Lola, well, she’s young, she’s a kid, gotta have the latest thing, all into the now and wow action. She was always trying to turn me on to Nylabones and the whole plush-toy scene. Just not my bag. But don’t get me wrong, she’s a sweetie. Serious haunches on that minx. You better freakin’ believe it.

Keep Reading

According to the name of the show, America allegedly does have talent. Of course, the Zooper Heroes may bring that into question, but one thing is certain: Britian has talent, of which Sharon Osbourne is the perfect ambassador. In fact, Mrs. Ozzy puts the ass in ambassador and is darn proud to admit it. See the above for verification.

As you may have already heard, Gossip Girl 's Leighton Meester has recorded her very own album. Sure, it's an easy target that plenty of other websites have already taken potshots at: Yet another pretentious Hollywood star attempts to step into the musical world with an unlistenable, misguided, ego-driven recording project. But the Soup Blog isn't jumping on that bandwagon. We say honor a rising talent who has the guts and passion to create compelling sounds for us all to enjoy.

Only kidding. While Meester may offer up a swell album of what she calls "a good mixture of hip-hop-sounding, very vibe-y music"—whatever that is—chances are it'll be neck and neck with Scarlett Johansson's recent Tom Waits bastardization homage. For a sample of Meester's generic, grating vocals and fake guitar playing, check out this clip from something called Drive Thru.

It's been a while since we checked in with our good friend David Hasselhoff, and what better occasion than a sneak peek into what it's like to be in a small car with daughter Taylor Ann Hasselhoff, her friends and the loud, videotaping, self-promoting man that is daddy Hoff. This from a recent Hoff visit to a University of Arizona football game (where Taylor Ann is a freshman). So relax, enjoy, and then be thankful that the grating, mortifying Hoff isn't your father.

It took a spaghetti-eating cat to put The Morning Show With Mike and Juliet on the map, and it looks like M and J are going to milk the viral phenomenon as long as they can. Here we see a full examination of the Spaghetti Cat mystery, an in-depth analysis of who and what he is, confronting key issues: Is there an imposter? Is it a puppet? How has spinmeister McHale manipulated the press? We could go on, but it's easier to just watch the thing.

Picturehouse

Big news from the Eva Mendes camp. According to Starpulse.com, the star of The Women, is “desperate to land a role” on Brit comic genius Ricky Gervais’ show Extras, even after her first attempt was nixed.

The sultry beauty revealed that the Emmy Award-winning Extras is “one of my favorite shows ever, and they turned me down. I was like, 'Guys, you don't understand. I am quite a big deal in the States, and I don't go on TV shows, but I really want to go on your show.' ”

This will be difficult—even for a big-deal, TV-eschewing star like Mendes—as the final episode of the show aired last December.

How many of you single women out there have dreamed of hooking up with a bona fide Hollywood star? Well, keep dreaming. But if you’ve ever fantasized about becoming the next lucky piece of Brad Garrett arm candy, now is your chance. The Star Search Grand Champion (he took home $100,000, gals—cha ching!) and Everybody Loves Raymond stalwart is currently trying to find somebody to love Brad, launching his own online dating series.

“My show is like the anti-Bachelor show,” the big man (six feet eight inches, and you know what that means) offered. “I'm taking the pathetic quality and building it to a new level.” That’s right, lonely sweeties, prepare yourselves for a revolutionary high in pathetic-ness.

And if you're concerned about your potential BF's colon health (and who wouldn't be?), park your worries at the back door. The G-man has gotten a thumbs-up from a proc doc after a thorough rectal spelunking session, filmed before a live audience. So fire up your laptops and form an orderly queue.

ANG/Fame Pictures

As we reported just days ago, rap’s P. Diddy was missing his toothbrush, which he apparently left at a Palm Springs resort after a photo shoot. An enterprising housekeeper nabbed the powerful oral-hygiene device and attempted to sell it on eBay for $999.00, which did not include a tube of Crest. Whether the plaque-defying wand of blue plastic was actually Mr. Diddy’s is still in question, and now his ownership of what he claimed was his “own” private jet, a Gulfstream IV-SP model, is seemingly at odds with the truth.

According to federal aviation records, no one named Sean, Combs, Diddy or Puffy (all monikers used by the artist) is a registered owner of such an airplane. Diddy does possess a “fractional” ownership of a plane, essentially a time-share. Whether he also had the same arrangement with the toothbrush has yet to be discovered, though Soup Blog reporters have petitioned the American Dental Association for access to toothbrush ownership records for what is believed to be a soft Oral-B, compact-head model with an angle control grip. We will keep you updated.

When it comes to foolproof equations, Einstein has nothing on Maury Povich, whose irrefutable postulate Fat Man + Fear of Peaches = Pure Entertainment is an absolute. Check out this classic clip of yet another of Maury's many fear-themed shows, wherein hapless, hysterical guests are tormented by their worst nightmares. See you next Tuesday with even more Maury.

We all know there's a place in France where the ladies wear no pants. But were you aware that there's a place in Beijing where the males have got no, um, thing? It seems that, for at least quite a few species, they've been sliced, diced, flambéed and, for the love of all things culinarily revolting, fricasseed  for the menu at a restaurant that specializes in penis. Note to Lorena Bobbit: If you're ever out of work, here's the gig for you!

Soup partisan James C. (not Carville) sent us this extremely meaty contribution from "the fat, bald guy who eats weird foods from around the world," (meaning Andrew Zimmern of the Travel Channel's Bizarre Foods) and he's not kidding.

Watch as Andrew and his Chinese lady friend tuck into steaming bowls of snake penis. "It has bones?" she asks, gingerly sliding one into her mouth. Andrew: "Not really..." In any case, this is one event that wasn't on the menu at the Beijing Olympics. 

E! Networks

Where televised comedy's Joel McHale travels, laughs can't be far behind, so here's your semiregular heads-up on where to catch the McMagic. Get ready, Anaheim, Calif., you're about to have one more thing to add to your resume besides the Angels, Disneyland and zesty chilies. Joel will be appearing on Sept. 20 at 8 p.m. at the Grove of Anaheim, which may or may not be an orchard of some kind.

Come October, McHale will be hopping on a big jet bird and winging all the way down to the Sunshine State for a blitzkrieg threefer you won't want to miss: Oct. 3, Joel takes the stage and a few cocktails (and leaves a trail of broken hearts) at Orlando's Hard Rock Live. On Oct. 4, look for him at Tampa Bay's own Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center. One night later, the funnyman will be rallying the Soup troops at the Sunrise Theater in Fort Pierce, Fla. Get him while he's hot!

Girls, good times and sweet, delicious booze are always in season on Entourage, and the hunting is apparently bullish in the new season's kickoff episode. After Vince’s latest film bombs at Cannes, he takes the boys to a foreign shore where life is one big Corona commercial and where exotic bikini babes runway strut out of the surf with fish they caught barehanded. Even Jesus needed a net! Good times, people.