November 19, 2002 - Games like Konami's Disney Sports Skateboarding for GameCube are both a curse for console owners and something of a blessing for those of us required to review them. The simple truth is that they're so bad, so sloppily executed, so utterly craptastic, that passing judgment on them is a breeze, far easier than rendering a final verdict for a mediocre piece of software. For that reason alone, this rubbish skateboarding disaster will always have soft spot in our heart. And yet, we'd sooner bathe ourselves in gravy and jump naked into a dangerous pack of rabid, crazed hounds than play it. This is not a "kid's skateboarding game" -- it's just a bad one. So Konami, thanks for making our life a little easier.

Features

• Disney themed skateboarding
• Play as your favorite Disney characters including everyone from Mickey to Goofy
• Eight giant worlds with different objectives and collectibles
• More than 40 tricks
• Five game modes
• Two-player simultaneous play
• Requires seven blocks of memory per save
• No progressive scan or DPLII support
• First-generation N64 graphics with slowdown
• May incite serious thoughts of suicide

Gameplay
When Konami announced that it was planning to make something like 250 Disney Sports themed titles for GameCube, we weren't exactly thrilled. But the company's solid Disney Sports Soccer calmed our skepticism in full. Developed by Konami OSA, the title was basically a remake of the very deep and intuitive Winning 11 soccer, except with a wide variety of Disney characters. It was also a full simulation of the sport, which definitely clashed with the Disney license and the audience the title was trying to appeal to, but it was still well done. The same, though, cannot be said for Disney Sports Skateboarding.

Also developed by Konami OSA, strangely enough, Disney Sports Skateboarding has one or two things going for itself and that's about it. First, of course, there is the license. You can play as any number of Disney characters including Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, Pete and Max, and you can also customize their outfits and skateboards. Second and finally, the control scheme is simplistic and easy to learn, unlike the decidedly simulation mechanics of Konami's Disney Soccer title. For these reasons alone, younger players unconcerned with the technicalities may be tricked into gaining some worth from the title. But there are a number of reasons why the game frankly isn't worth the price tag, the biggest of which are levels that pose objectives too difficult for children willing to overlook the terribly scarred 3D engine under-powering the project.

There are five modes of play here, but the basic mechanics remain the same. You control one of your favorite Disney characters and skate through eight different environments, each of which has its own goals and objectives. The controls, shallow, are easy to learn, but extremely sluggish, unresponsive, and totally out of date compared to far better, not to mention more intuitive outings like Tony Hawk's Pro Skater. Meanwhile any board physics are lacking; it's possible to grind all the way up a San Francisco street without losing any momentum, for instance. The primary task for each zone is to find and retrieve various checkpoints in a certain time limit. We're not proud to admit that even after several tries, we were still unable to find all of the checkpoints in the very first stage. Which begs the question: if we struggled, how will young kids be able to tackle it? Often times, we suspect they won't be able to, and that basically alienates the target demographic from the start. But even if these problems weren't infesting the title, it would still be a horrible game, and here's why:

The camera and framerate combine to become Mickey's greatest obstacle. They're so bad that we've lumped them both under our 'gameplay' section and not in the 'graphics' area where we would normally discuss these issues. This is simply because they have a real bearing on gameplay. Everything moves slow as molasses due to a miserable fluidity, and the camera always seems to be shooting the action from the wrong angle, or stuttering in a corner, or blocking the view entirely behind a wall. Kids attempting to play this are likely in for multiple seizures and a trip the hospital.

We could keep going, but there's really no point in it. If you've read this far, you know that we don't like this game. It's not intuitive. It's not deep. It's not original. It's just an excessively bad skateboarding game. If that means it should be for kids, then we're glad we're all grown up.

Graphics
The visual side of Disney Sports Skateboarding is best described as first-generation N64 quality, and to be honest even first-generation N64 games often times looked a lot better. Awful textures. Just awful! No, perhaps putrid is the word. It's a blur that can't be wiped away, unfortunately. Outstandingly horrific character animation that's so stale and robotic that you'll forget all about the Disney license. A nauseating camera that should be shot and left for dead. And a craptastic framerate to boot. One of GameCube's ugliest games, easily, only challenged in its graphic stink by the likes of such classics as Universal Studios. Lazy.

Sound
A decent selection of over-the-top music mingles with ear-ruining commentary from one of the most annoying announcers of all time. If the desire with the audio portion of the game is to make kids cry and adults grit their teeth in anger, we think Konami got the formula right.

Closing Comments
Konami's Disney Sports Skateboarding is a real, stinking pile. I have very few positive things to say about it other than that the control scheme is so basic that young players can learn it. Otherwise, overly complex levels dance with some of the worst 3D technology, a horrible camera and framerate, purely eye-ruining graphics, and some of the most annoying audio in a videogame to date. Only recommended as a form of torture to prison inmates.

Kids -- no matter how young or dense, don't deserve this. Get them Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4 instead and they'll love you for it.

Rating	Description
out of 10	click here for ratings guide
4.0	Presentation Disney characters are in place and the interface is well done, but everything surrounding is poor.
3.0	Graphics First-generation N64 quality. Awful textures and animation, a horrible camera and an even worse framerate.
3.0	Sound Annoying to the point of suicidal thoughts.
2.0	Gameplay Very basic. Very flawed. Very bad.
3.0	Lasting Appeal There's a two-player mode, but nobody will want to play it.
3.0 Bad	OVERALL (out of 10 / not an average)