| Penn & Teller PCC articles by Penn Jillette | Reprinted with permission. |
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I've been grumbling forever about "Virtual Reality." I really
wish Jaron Lanier's claim to fame was just having the best dreads
on a white guy (even counting Uma Thurman's ex-husband in True
Romance) instead of that coining. Jaron's great but, man --
V.R. -- who needs that noise? A nice idea for displaying
information was turned into some non-existent diabolical world
that is supposed to be qualitatively different from other show-
biz. What a crock.
My writer friend, Thania St. John, was writing a FOX pilot about V.R. She thought since I wrote a computer column (people that don't read me regularly [like my editors] think I write a computer column), I could tell her about V.R. I told her V.R. is watching one TV with each eye while wearing a funny hat and glove. So -- she wrote a pilot where "V.R." means psychedelic clown makeup and everyone's on fire. Show-biz. There was a part for a big, long-haired, obnoxious neighbor and they didn't even audition anyone but me. They called it "Avenging Angel" but that was already a movie (as I remember -- high-school-student-by-day-kung-fu-prostitute-by-night, it was a sequel starring Betsy Russell, who, except for marrying a Van Patten, could have been mentioned on this page as often as Gary Oldman's ex-wife.) It then became "The V.R. Project" but if Fox ever shows it, it'll probably be called something like "Virtual Strangers." Lori Singer (Footloose, and naked in Short Cuts) plays some phone repair person (she had a prop tool belt) who is able to call people on the phone and pull them into "V.R." In VR she has colorful adventures, finds out more about herself, and has sexual tension with wiseacres just like pre-VR TV. My character gets pulled into V.R. -- which means they really hanged me on a 90 foot crane over Santa Monica and they really lit me on fire. It's me on fire -- you can see my face -- but there was a stuntman for the sexual tension. From each according to his ability to each according to her need. Is this a good thing? Is it good for me to help make the words "Virtual Reality" nothing more than a goofy TV premise? Is this an efficient way to stop the nuts like the Washington state government from a bill that goes like this? (I didn't make this up.) "NEW SECTION. Sec. 706 (1) A license is required for the commercial use of virtual reality technology for entertainment or purposes other then bona fide education, training, research, and development." Where VR is defined: "NEW SECTION. Sec 702. (4) ``Virtual Reality'' means any computer or other electronic technology that creates an enhanced illusion of three-dimensional, real-time or near-real-time interactive reality through the use of software, specialized hardware, holograms, gloves, masks, glasses, computer guns, or other item capable of producing visual, audio, and sensory effects of verisimilitude beyond those available with a personal computer." The flame on the Net is that Senator Phil Talmadge, and his crew are trying to convince the State Congress that VR will permit a realistic illusion of killing another person and such an illusion will make it easier for someone to go out and actually commit such a crime outside of VR. It's all part of the sociopathic movement to reduce violence by muzzling artists. So, let's fight fire with fire (Did I mention I was really on fire? This whole page should be about me being on fire, but they didn't use computers, they used petroleum products and a lighter). If politicians don't know fiction when it bites them in the ass, let's give them "The VR Pilot." It's funny and exciting and if political leaches want to ban the kind of VR they see on this show, that's fine. It'll be like banning Superman's X-ray vision. I hope I did the right thing. I hope the check clears. |