Andy Ross
So, Andy Ross has those moments when he puts his foot in his mouth. If he's
trying to impress someone, he'll say something stupid and/or awkward. For
instance, one time he met Bradley Whitford and Jane Kaczmarek and, when
asked, said his tie was from Lloyd's of London. He meant to say Jones of
New York. Now, the tie was actually from Joseph A. Bank. Jones of New York
probably doesn't even make ties, and Lloyd's of London certainly doesn't
insure them. Because of this and other unmentionable examples, Mr. Ross
finds the kind of embarrassment comedy so popular among indie films and
post-Seinfeld sitcoms particularly uncomfortable.
However, though he may fixate on these weekly or biweekly distresses,
most of the time Mr. Ross is at ease with himself and quite witty. The play
on words that connects P.G. Wodehouse to epistemology to The Scorpions
pops into his head two seconds before it's needed. Sometimes he'll reference
a moment you felt unique to your childhood as a universal experience,
making you realize that the stop-motion animated dog statue in
Ghostbusters, with its lack of distinct limb joints, was indeed
nightmare fodder for many. He has worked to make humor come easy not
because he wants the laughs or a pat on the back, but because someday
he wants to be called "whip smart." He heard someone else referred to in
that way once, and it stuck with him. Of course, everyone reading this is
now tainted — it has to come spontaneously and without prior knowledge.
Please do not jerk him around by calling him whip smart now. It's too late for
you, and he'll see it in your eyes. Other than that, Andy Ross is pretty average for a guy his age. He enjoys DVDs, comic books, reruns of M*A*S*H, and his beautiful girlfriend.
He also likes ice cream to the point of top button unbuttoning. And, he
draws a daily
comic called Low Key, which everyone enjoys just enough to
promise that they plan on buying merchandise at some point but never do.
Someday. Mr. Ross wants to write for a solidly funny, yet critically
unacclaimed sitcom. Toward that end, he writes film analysis in hopes
of learning his own likes and dislikes in storytelling well enough to
translate them to his future work.
— Andy Ross (apross@earthlink.net)
