F l a k   M a g a z i n e   L e t t e r s:
Year 2002, May-Aug

Flak welcomes any and all feedback from its readers. Due to quality constraints, not all letters can be printed in their entirety. Letters will be edited for length and appropriateness. Please send your letters to the writer of the piece you'd like to comment on. Send general letters to letters@flakmag.com.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I read your review of iceland in the flak magazine and I just can't stop laughing. How on earth could you of all places pick Stykkishólmur to go to, it's one of Icelandic's most dull places with nothing to see or do. I myself am Icelandic and I have never even been there and ain't planning to go there. I quote what you said "There are no public monuments or museums of note; no fierce Viking memorabilia; no heroic stanzas from Icelandic sagas etched in stone."

This is completely not true. I know the nightlife is hyped up in tourist brochures but an empty bar at 2 AM is something I can't believe, what bar was that anyway? I guess either you went out the wrong side of the bed every morning during that trip or you were just unlucky. :)

with regards from Iceland,
Björn

Hey man...

My name is Stjáni and I'm an Icelander...

I read your article on flakmag.com and I just wanted to give you some pointers in defence for my country... First of all... When traveling in a foreign country where the culture is different then your own, one might want to consider being open minded for these differences. I work in a club in Reykjavik and I also live in the city center and through my work I've met quite a few Americans looking to have a good time but were confused about where to go and what to do.

As you said, Iceland is a very expensive place to party in so the locals usually buy their alcohol in the less expensive stores that sell alcohol, then they usually stay at parties till 1-2 then go clubbin'. This is very different from most other countries were alcohol is cheaper. Some of the Americans I've talked to had no idea about this so they go out early only to find empty bars and clubs, going back to their hotel feeling frustrated about this ripoff about iceland's flaming nightlife, missing out on all the fun that goes on till 6 in the morning every friday and saturday.

OK Stykkish—lmur is not a very good examble... That's about as exiting as going to the heart of for example, Iowa and finding the smallest "village" and expecting a good time. As for the landscape and terrain, this is what makes Iceland unique, in my opinion you guys should have done your homework a little better to fully understand where to go and what to bring, you wouldnt go to the desert expecting snow and bringing skies??? Would you? When travelling you should always have some info on your destination and expect everything, especially in Iceland. Of course you are intitled to your opinion and I respect that but I hereby challenge you to reconsider and give Iceland another chance, I will be happy to be your personal guide to everything Iceland has to offer.

Sincerely,
Stjáni

p.s. Pardon my grammar ;)

WAY'RAGO JAMES. YA...... BEEEEHAIVE.........!

Louise Young

Hi Maggie,

My name is Sadie and I LOVE FPs like you do! When Mom gives me mine, I'm in 7th HEAVEN!!!!! I'll even find an empty cup and take it to her, and with it in my mouth and my tail wagging give her the "excuse me Mom, however, my cup is empty and I REALLY NEED another one!" Gets her every time!!! (Once you get them to laugh, well you know, it's a done deal!!

By the way, I really like the original, but now that the price is $3.49 for 4 - WHEW!!! - Mom also makes me a homemade version so I can have a frozen treat every day! She checked with our vet and he said that I could have yogurt & baby food, so here is our version for your Mom and Dad:

Mix 1 32 oz container of vanilla non-fat yogurt (gotta watch my figure!) with any flavor of baby food that you like and fill your empty FP cups (with tops) & freeze!

Now, I'll admit that it isn't FP, however, I like it and it's healthy for me too!

Oh, I remember the first time Mom made the yogurt FPs for me! Well, she didn't think I'd notice, however, I stood over my cup and looked at her in the kitchen (she was waiting for my reaction) - well, she started laughing and I thought well, she tried so what can it hurt!

Hope you like them!

XOXOXOXOX - Sadie

P.S. I'm happy for you that you've got such a good Mom & Dad - give 'em a hug from me!

Read your article on frosty paws at the Flak Mag site. Here's another perspective.

We started giving our 12-year-old Springer Frosty Paws a couple years ago. At first it was great. She made love to that little frozen cup of ice, and then dozed in glutinous ecstasy the rest of the evening. Then we noticed that she began barking at us every evening for an FP, even pawing at the frig and voicing her need clearly and loudly. She would follow us around the house barking at us, and this is generally a very quiet dog that hardly every vocalizes.

This behavior would continue until we gave in and let her have one, but this just facilitated the bad behavior. Finally we cut her off cold turkey, but it took three weeks before she got over, what I can only describe as, withdrawal symptoms. After a few months, we tried it again. Same thing. After the first couple frosty paws (which we only give her maybe once every week or two now), she's like a heroin addict looking for her fix.

She has never behaved like this for any other treat or food that we have given her, including various meats, gravies, occasional ice cream lickings, commercial dog treats, even bones.

I want to know what the heck is in this stuff that turns our nice quiet Springer into a raving lunatic drug addict??? What are they spiking these things with? Has anyone else had a similar experience? Her behavior is so much like a heroin addict that it's scary. Maybe I should start buying stock in the company that makes FPs.

(Interesting side note...before Maggie went deaf last year, we started referring to Frosty Paws by its initials...as in "FPs", because if we said the words Frosty Paws, she would go nuts and harass us for an hour or more)

Looking forward to your response...

Vince Hackley in Maryland.

Dear Editor Jim,

As a former member of the US Army Occupation of Nazi Germany, I can say that intimidating people to recite a pledge of allegiance to a flag, any flag, anywhere, which unscrupulous and undesirable politicians can wrap themselves in, is insanity.

Remove the word "flag" and pledge allegiance to "the nation" and that would be fine. "The nation" of the United States is almost synonymous with 'the people of this nation, which we can all always be in favor of even when government leaders might lead it astray into perfidy and criminal actions.

Whether citing "under God" or not, a pledge to a symbol reeks of cultism. Is it intelligent to set an example for all the world's children in a compulsory "Sieg Heil" to the flag of their nation?

True democrats are being lured into a debate on semantics which only strengthens the ultra nationalism which the corporate state apologists and religious fundamentalists wish to promote.

No pledges to the state please, and of course not to its symbol which has flown over many a "My Lai" as well as over honorable actions in its purposful role of identifying government buildings, ships and planes.

Allegiance to one's family, one's community, one's nation of people and not lastly to the family which is Mankind. Not to any flag, anywhere, anytime.

Sincerely,
jay janson

---

Now as an addendum or gloves-off paraphrased "Pledge" really from the heart is the more keenly felt and honest letter to the editor from one of another era:

I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America
which flew over "My Lai",
and to the war crimes for which it stands,
unpunished,
unrepented,
in spite of God,

with guilt and complicity for all.

from an anonymous Patriot who "served" in "Nam."

Thanks for your kind words about Salon Blogs.

One comment: Table Talk has a lot more than 100 paying members -- closer to ten times that number. And our decision to turn it into a pay service was not a matter of "trying to cash in too quickly", it was a last-ditch effort to save a community we loved. During our financial woes of last year we basically had two choices (as we told the Table Talk posters at the time): Shut TT down entirely or convert it to a pay community. We chose the latter because we cared about the legacy of the space and didn't want to just close it down.

I certainly understand where you're coming from in suggesting the kind of cross-fertilization that could happen between blogs and discussion boards (we're already seeing some of that with Salon Blogs). But I also think there are people who like threaded discussions and people who like blogging; the formats have different qualities that appeal to different personalities. They're not mutually exclusive (and of course some people like both).

As for "Doesn't everyone already have a blog, or at least everyone who's going to have one?," I think the answer is very much "no," based on our first week's results.

Cheers --

Scott Rosenberg
managing editor / Senior VP Editorial Operations
Salon.com

My example of a Web community of 100 members wasn't supposed to apply to Table Talk specifically, but rather to contrast the numbers needed for a successful discussion board versus a successful blogging community. I see how my wording could imply that it referred to Table Talk, though. I apologize for any confusion caused by my lack of clarity here.

As an expatriate but nonetheless loyal Kentuckian, I feel the need to correct an error in your otherwise marvelous celebration of the mint julep. Jack Daniels is not a bourbon — it is a Tennessee sour mash whiskey. The mash bill, proof and aging requirements are the same as for bourbon, but the liquor is leached through sugar maple charcoal before being put in oak barrels. You can't do that and call it a bourbon under rule of federal law.

Fours stars otherwise; see you at the Derby.

Tom.

Gentlemen,

I just wanted to extend my hearty thanks and congratulations on your stellar Mulholland Drive commentary track.

After two viewings of the film, I thought that I understood it about as deeply as I wanted to. In other words, I was wary of the very idea of an MD commentary, preferring to think in terms of "You could take apart a flower, but then you wouldn't have a flower any more."

Your commentary skilfully avoided pretty much every pitfall it could so easily have fallen into. It could have explained away the entire film so that, to pick up the earlier analogy, I wouldn't have a flower any more.

I was so pleasantly surprised, then, to find the whole thing enlightening and engaging from start to finish. Despite its potential and novelty value, the DVD commentary format is a very tricky one to get right; and to tell the truth, the honeymoon is prettyy much over for me, at this point. Maybe I have sat through one too many self-congratulatory backslapping sessions and stultifying "I remember the day we shot this scene" stuff, that broadens one's experience of a film without deepening it an inch.

The flakmag commentary may, in fact, be the best I have yet heard; based on the degree to which my understanding and appreciation of the film increased as I listened.

The "Silencio" scene is now officially the saddest and most heartbreaking in cinema history, and must also commend you on embracing the oh-so-crucial "Tank Girl" issue, which an official commentary would have no doubt shied away from.

In short, great job, a thorough and eye-opening exploration of this spellbinding film.

Ben Stephens

PS: Is this the first of a series, or strictly a one-off?

James

I enjoyed reading your piece on the yuppies and the whole foods market. I mean how arrogant are some of these people who think they need to be "connected," hands free of course, while they are getting their friggin groceries. I'd rather not have to listen to their nonsense while in public, but hey it's a free country.

But what really got my attention was the young lady who responded to make sure that she hasn't been "grouped in with them, ...due to faulty logic." It seems that in doing so she may have given reason to believe that she may be even more pretentious than those yuppies she'd rather not be associated with. Why take the time to plead your case in that situation? I am reminded of a quote from one Mr. Tyler Durden, "just let go..." Besides if she were really concerned about hormones, genetics, etc... she'd grow her own shit, which coincidentally can be done at minimal cost and space.

To the rest of Flak staff/contributors keep it coming!

"...Dr. Marten's good for waffle makin' and kickin thru the shins" NOFX

peace
Brian Schupbach

Mr. Norton-

Regarding your recent article entitled "Killin' Your Own Kind," I would like to address an assumption you make about people who shop at Whole Foods. Although, yes, many Whole Foods shoppers are probably yuppies, there are also some people shopping there who are not quite as financially endowed and who just want to be able to buy foods that haven't been sprayed with pesticides, pumped full of hormones, or genetically altered. To assume that all Whole Foods shoppers are mindless yuppie drones who buy their groceries there because it's hip or trendy is not only erroneous but also insulting to those of us who are trying to make conscious decisions to lead lives free of the poisons that the food industry forces on us, as well as the possibly dangerous genetic modifications to our produce that make us the guinea pigs. I shop at Whole Foods because they have a commitment to quality and to selling organic products wherever possible. It is definitely less affordable than the lowest common denominator produce available at your local grocery store, but I think it's worth the price.

While I share your "die, yuppie scum!" sentiment and would appreciate having the aisles cleared of their snotty, trendoid carcasses, I would hate to be grouped in with them during your rampage due to faulty logic.

Also, how was the tuna with ginger-shiitake cream sauce? It sounds like a great recipe.

Sincerely,
Laura Roberts

Claire,

I just stumbled on your website today via The Morning News. On it, I found a link to your article on Bill Peet in FlakMag. I just wanted to send you a little fan mail (my first attempt at such an epistle in 39 years of walking this planet) to say thank you.

I have an autographed copy of Peet's "Smokey," which (along with Dr. Seuss's "The King That Wore Stilts") is my favorite childhood book. I read it to my four-year-old who professes that Peet's "Cowardly Clyde" is his favorite book. Later, in high school, I worked as an Imagineer for Disney.. Walt's Disney, not Mr. Eisner's. Now it's no secret that Bill Peet hated Walt... and with good reason: Walt was a bit of an angry hick, but one who created something wonderful. Peet modeled Captain Hook after Walt and Walt knew it.

Anyway, I adored Bill Peet and was quite sad at his passing. Stumbling across someone from Gen Y (isn't that what we call your generation?) who wrote such a cool article really put it all together for me.

BTW, love your site. Your interview with your Mom totally rocks. And you don't need any horny teens hungry for cock... your love of baseball is very endearing (we're die-hard Giants fans in our house).

Be well,
Tom

Hey Jim,

I grew up in California. During the late '50s and early '60s, my mother (who grew up in New England), would sometimes serve us a plate of Boston baked beans with cut-up pieces of a hot dog with a slice of B&M; Brown Bread. The Brown Bread, having been warmed on a frying pan with a little butter, remains a taste I have sought to inflict, er, introduce on my own kid someday. Perhaps you may enlighten me on where I can buy a can [what national store chain]?

The label didn't looked like what I recall, then I noticed the "plain" on the label. Although it makes you wonder what a "not-so plain" version is (vanilla-frosted with rainbow sprinkles?), I recall that the version we ate had raisins in it.

Hahaha, your lunar landing drew a chuckle!

Meanwhile, I have found a recipe for Aunt Jane's Brown Bread that I may well have to try out this weekend!

Brent Claffey
Rockville, MD

Ben,

You caught my sentiments exactly. I want Coke to burn with belch-producing carbonation all the way down and back up again. Vanilla Coke is too mild. I chilled it greatly as I do with regular Coke, trying to retain as much CO2 in solution as long as possible, but it just isn't good enough.

Good Naval Jelly jest!

Cheers!

Brent Claffey
Rockville, MD

I'm going out to eat! I found a bunch of those things in our food. What happens if you've eaten some of the eggs? Oh shit just the thought of that crap is disgusting! Before I even read what to do I already had taken every food product in the kitchen and threw it away, and cleaned cabinets with straight amonia! Now we're just freaked out about "what if we ate some of those damned eggs?" Can you e-mail me back? The doctor doesn't even know what I'm talking about! Thanks,
Tina Koehl

Dear Tina,

I think if you ate some eggs, you'll be just fine. Stomach acid is plenty tough to take care of our lovable little moth friends — and they're probably great protein, too! No health risk that I know if — I really wouldn't worry.

Still, it's good that you chucked every damn thing in kitchen and rubbed the place down with something sterile.

Good luck fighting the larvae.

at your service,
Jim

I just wanted to thank you for a well-written article. Maybe I'm not as in touch with the world as I should be, but I had no idea he had died. I just felt compelled to do a search about him online to see what, if anything, he'd been up to lately, and stumbled upon your article. While I'm saddened that he is gone, it's nice to see that his books had an impact on more lives than just mine. Hopefully his books will find a way into the lives of future generations. Thanks for the nice article about him.

Brad

Whether you are interested or not, I just thought I'd tell you that I was raised on Jack Chick comics and tracts, and yet converted to Catholocism in my adulthood. Whether you believe in God or not, I just thought you'd appreciate the irony.

Take care!
— Michelle :o)

I disagree with your take on the Versace ads. While I can totally see where you get the idea that the ads are slutty as they are, the sexual ambiguity and originality of them reflect gender crises in our culture today as well as mock the American puritan idealism. Anyways, that is my somewhat opinionated response to your article which I found interesting and well-written. I am interested to hear your response.

Thank you,
Amy Halvorsen

Mr. Grace,

The Canadian Broadcast Corp. plays these Ford commercials in a slightly altered form. During the "SUV" commercial William C. Ford Jr. states that "there is no better place to experience the outdoors than Canada." During the "Truck" commercial he states "Canada is the birthplace of tough." I thought this was kind of funny at the time, then reading the paragraph that reads "it's a simple formula..." — delicious.

James Saur

Hi there, Can you help me out. I lost the instructions for grilling. Can you send me grilling times on veggies and meat, fish and poultry. I would really appreciate it.

Thanks,
Joolie

To Joolie (and others):

Many have sent me notes regarding their George Foreman Grill. Whether they're asking about cooking times or what size of grill to by, one thing runs through my mind: you're asking me? The fine folks at Salton, the grill's manufacturer, have this information available.

Perhaps the company isn't doing enough to publicize that. Perhaps they need a high-priced consultant to handle some of the call volume. Given my mail traffic, I'd like to offer my services.

Hey Bob — I just saw your bio at the Flak magazine site.

What a fascinatingly well-rounded fellow you are! You are perhaps not familiar with yet one more aspect of your Self — maybe it's been hidden in your shadows, a repressed childhood thing... Musician and Singer-Songwriter!

See yourself in me!: bobcook.ca or www.mp3.com/bobcook

If you'd like to make a link, I'd be proud to be a part of you!

from an other Bob Cook

ps. I liked your article on Canadian rock circa 1981.... aahh, memories...

Dear Dan (and everyone else who reads this),

Anyone who can wear hakama and not occassionally laugh has got their shinai at the wrong angle. I'm grateful for your article, if not only for the humor, for the link to bujin, and their great set of "how to wear" instructions. I sell an average of one set a year (at $260 plus materials, I'm not much competition for Bujin), but then, I do them in whatever fabric and just about ANY size...

Ana Foscari,
Ana's Accoutremonts

After listening to the first part of your commentary, I was surprised that you missed out on the obvious double meaning of the blue key/box symbol. As you point out, it is indicative of Rita/Camilla' death in Diane's real world, but it is also a symbol of Diane's own death. In her dream, the corresponding blue key unlocks the mysterious blue box, which is actually unlocked by Rita.

Betty/Diane has literally disappeared from the scene, as it is realized by Rita before she herself falls into a black hole opened up by the unlocked blue box. But you did some nice background research on the movie. Still looking forward to hear the second part.

Jürgen Kayser,
Edgewater, NJ

You are without a doubt the biggest nerd in all of Wisconson.

Jonny Lieberman

Thank yoo.