THE news, according to the scribes, is that Victoria's teams are back.
The early-21st century famine was the result of nothing more than a periodic drought. Such theories as football climate change have been dismissed. The sceptics are claiming victory.
This aroused one regular correspondent, a climate change man. We'll call him Bob Green.
He wrote at the end of the home-and-away series: "Vic teams are two of the top four and two of the second four and five of the bottom five."
Bob is deeply conscious that since the game's elite competition entered its second century more than a decade ago, Victorian teams have won two flags and nine wooden spoons.
He believes, barring some sort of intervention, it is going to continue to happen.
He says any serious analysis of the recent performance of the Victorian teams could not conclude all is well simply on the basis of this year's outcomes.
While performance at the top end has been break-even or slightly better, Victorian teams continue to be over-represented at the bottom end.
This is the sixth consecutive year in which Victorian teams have filled the last three spots on the ladder. In that period, non-Victorian teams have visited the bottom five on only four occasions: that's four out of 30 slots for the interstaters, 26 out of 30 for the Vics.
There's no doubt who's outstripping whom in the business of cellar-dwelling.
Not only that. Every one of this state's 10 teams has been there in that time; it's not just the usual suspects causing a statistical oddity. All but three have finished in the bottom five more than once.
Interestingly, one of the three non-repeat offenders is the Kangaroos, challenging the view that the failure of Victorian teams is largely about money, resources, and support.
The Roos come in last on all of those measures but in terms of on-field performance, haven't finished at the tail for 35 years.
Regarding the top end, Green thinks it's too early for Victoria to be getting excited.
He has pointed out that while every non-Victorian club has played a preliminary final in the past three years, only three Victorian teams have achieved a top-four finish in five years. The winner of tonight's game will join that list.
As for flags, it doesn't tax the memory to recall that four interstate teams have won the past six of them. Here's a slightly more challenging history question, though: how far back do you have to travel to garner the last four flag-winning Victorian teams? Essendon, Kangaroos, Carlton and … yes, you got it: Waverley Park, Alan Joyce and Hawthorn in 1991! You have to be at least in your 20s to remember it.
The context for these outcomes is one in which this state provides most of the teams in the competition.
It should, accordingly, provide most of the group contesting finals. Those teams should, as well as winning most wooden spoons, be winning most premierships. They have been failing at one and succeeding, ingloriously, at the other.
The view that Victorian clubs have re-emerged this year as an inevitable outcome of the draft and salary cap is complacent, convenient folly.
If the draft is supposed to shuffle the teams around, why do the same half-dozen provide so many winners, and the same 10 keep producing losers? How is it that the supposed cyclical process creates two groupings that are achieving such contrasting results?
Meanwhile, one swallow just fluttered by my window and as I peer out, I see many football folk preparing to head to the beach. I fear they're going early.
Perhaps they'll get lucky this spring but, even if they do, they shouldn't start planning for next year.
After all, only occasionally does the mercury hit 30 degrees on grand final day. Bob Green and I, meanwhile, are digging in for some cold winters.
