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You've pleaded, whined and downright threatened. Well you've finally won, okay? Here's the complete Seanbaby page, which will be updated with each new issue. We've divided this page up into three sections: the Frivolous Lawsuits series, Video Reviews and Features. Everything since Volume 02, Issue 11 is here. If you bitch enough, we might get off our collective ass and publish the stories that never made it online.
If you'd like to email Seanbaby directly to give him some fan feedback, drop him a note at seanbaby@thewavemag.com. Email the webmaster for design or web issues; email John Newlin, Editor-in-Chief with relationship issues and problems with your alternator. Peace.
Want us to let you know each time a new issue comes out? Get a free online subscription now!
Want to see the (semi)-complete archive of ALL Wave articles? Click HERE!
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Hide Descriptions
| The Frivolous Lawsuits Series: |
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Frivolous Lawsuit Justice
(Volume 04, Issue 19)
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Are the tables turning against hyper-litigious morons?
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Frivolous Lawsuits XI
(Volume 03, Issue 23)
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With no shortage of insane cases to choose from, Seanbaby brings the 11th installment in his series chronicling our legal system’s moronic absuse.
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Frivolous Lawsuits X: Leprachaun in the Hood
(Volume 03, Issue 10)
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Get rich quick by throwing someone's dog into oncoming traffic! Plus: Did you know that singing “Eenie, meenie, miney, moe” makes you a racist?
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Frivolous Lawsuits 9: Lethal Justice
(Volume 03, Issue 02)
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Jack Ass sues Jackass, jurors from Mississippi sue 60 Minutes for $6 billion for airing a story about how jurors from Mississippi award people too much money and a prisoner sues the state penitentiary for giving bad investment advice. By Seanbaby
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Frivolous Lawsuits 8: When Children Sue
(Volume 02, Issue 25)
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When tattling on your enemies to their moms just doesn't get the job done, some kids turn to the legal system. Seanbaby reports in this special edition of Frivolous Lawsuits.
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Frivolous Lawsuits 7: Sue Harder With a Vengeance
(Volume 02, Issue 22)
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The gavels of retardation come down on lawsuits between James Brown and his daughters, McDonald's and hungry people, and an epileptic man and a woman who's afraid of weird faces. Seanbaby provides the Stupid-to-English translation.
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Frivolous Lawsuits 6: Idiot Showdown
(Volume 02, Issue 19)
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Now with 50% more stupidity!
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Best of Frivolous Lawsuits
(Volume 02, Issue 18)
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All your favorite stupid lawsuits in one giant collection of legal idiocy.
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Frivolous Lawsuits 5: Terminal Frivolocity
(Volume 02, Issue 17)
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Join the honorable Judge Seanbaby as he finds even more people guilty of being dumb.
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Frivolous Lawsuits Part 4: Total Annihilation
(Volume 02, Issue 14)
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God bless America and our joyous justice system. As you may have already realized, we Americans should sue anyone any time our feelings are hurt. So the next time you get so drunk, you fall in front of a subway train and get your legs severed, don’t take the law into your own hands. Take ‘em to court.
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Return of the Revenge of the Stupid Lawsuits (Part 3) (Volume 02, Issue 12) |
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Our third installment in the annals of modern human stupidity includes “Robot Man vs. Air Canada,” “Mouth and Hands vs. Exploding Sandwich,” and one other case that will make you say “God Bless America?”
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| Video Reviews: |
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Celebrity Workouts for the Terminally Lazy
(Volume 04, Issue 02)
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Ever wonder how Pat Boone and Debbie Reynolds got such hard bodies? Seanbaby reviews their totally effective exercise videos.
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Video Review: The Turkish Exorcist
(Volume 03, Issue 18)
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With films like this, how is it that Turkey was not included in the Axis of Evil?
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Learn Gun Safety Tips With Eddie Eagle - Starring Jason Priestley
(Volume 03, Issue 10)
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Who better to teach you about firearm safety than Jason Priestley, the NRA and an animated eagle who spies on children?
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Slots with Video Poker hosted by James Coburn
(Volume 03, Issue 05)
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Actor James Coburn gives strategy tips for better slot machine playing such as this nugget of wisdom: “Push the SPIN button instead of pulling the lever. It will reduce the wear-and-tear on your arm.”
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The Bibleman Show
(Volume 03, Issue 04)
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This week's video review proves you don't have to be Turkish or Brazilian to butcher cinema. You simply need to be Willie Aames of Eight Is Enough fame and dressed in spandex.
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Brazilian Star Wars
(Volume 03, Issue 03)
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Turkey isn’t the only country that’s cannibalizing our gems of the silver screen. Amazingly, Brazil’s outrageously nonsensical version manages to lower the bar.
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Marijuana (Starring Sonny Bono)
(Volume 03, Issue 02)
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Sonny Bono makes a convincing argument that smoking pot might turn you into an aging caveman-sea-captain.
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Star Crash (Italian Star Wars, 1979)
(Volume 03, Issue 01)
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“Saying Star Crash is inferior to Star Wars is fair. Saying that it's inferior to most children's Lego-based recreations of Star Wars is cruel, but also fair.”
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If Footmen Tire You What Will Horses Do? (1971)
(Volume 02, Issue 26)
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“The film is based on a book by pastor Estus W. Pirkle, a tiny man with enough paranoia to power an entire staff of airport security agents.”
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Turkish Star Trek
(Volume 02, Issue 25)
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“Just as the ceremony gets underway, the unwilling groom disappears and shows up outside Profosor Krater's cave where the speedoed robot chases him down in a comical mix of Mr. Bean, Tarzan and erotic massage oil.”
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Turkish E.T.
(Volume 02, Issue 24)
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“That night, Elliot has a dream where his classmates and teachers are doing a line dance around E.T. If you'd like an exact demonstration of this line dance, get in front of a mirror, grab your nipples and prance.”
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When Mom & Dad Break Up
(Volume 02, Issue 23)
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Dealing with divorce is never easy. But thanks to the makers of this video, rest assured that Alan “Jason Seaver” Thicke and Orko from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe will still love you no matter what. Guidance counseling provided by Seanbaby.
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The Turkish Wizard of Oz
(Volume 02, Issue 22)
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“Soon they reach the Emerald City, home of the Wizard of Oz. This is such a crappy model that it would have cost MORE to make it out of macaroni.”
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Breaking with the Mighty Poppalots
(Volume 02, Issue 21)
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“After Popping, the team teaches you a few ways to walk like a breakdancer. These will come in handy if you ever need to get to an appointment but do not want to stop breakdancing.”
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Dirty Line Dancin'
(Volume 02, Issue 19)
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“It's difficult to describe just how intense and unceasing this pelvic thrusting is, but let's just say that if you could kill air by ramming your genitals into it, John is a mass murderer.”
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Learn the Art of Dancing Dirty
(Volume 02, Issue 18 - 2nd publishing)
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Prepare to be horrified.
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Harry Potter... Witchcraft Repackaged: Making Evil Look Innocent
(Volume 02, Issue 17)
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If you like Harry Potter, this video review is for you. If you’re a religious extremist who thinks Harry Potter is Satan and needs to be exorcised, this review is for you, too.
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Turkish Star Wars
(Volume 02, Issue 16)
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That's Dunyayi Kurtaran Adam in Turkish. And it is, with out a doubt, the WORST movie ever made.
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A Wendy's Training Video
(Volume 02, Issue 15)
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This was never meant for civilian eyes, which is too bad, because it might be the funniest video ever made.
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Your Alcohol IQ
(Volume 02, Issue 14)
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Get bamboozled, lamcroozled and kajagoozled by drinking an entire case of cheap-ass beer in an hour or less. Then toss this video into the VCR and soon you’ll be kicking the alcohol knowledge with all your favorite winos. Bonus! Arte Johnson is, in fact, involved in this masterpiece.
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| Seanbaby Features: |
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THE WHINE LOVERS
(Volume 05, Issue 01)
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How hypersensitivity is affecting society
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WEIRD SCIENCE
(Volume 04, Issue 22)
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Where intelligence and boredom intersect – today’s worst ideas in scientific research
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LAST POLITICAL COMIC STANDING
(Volume 04, Issue 21)
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Bush and Kerry have been trying to ham it up on the campaign trail. Seanbaby critiques each candidate’s comedic savvy.
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FALL FROM FUNNY
(Volume 04, Issue 13)
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At what exact point did comedians like Eddie Murphy, Dan Aykroyd and others become totally unfunny?
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10 BEST INTERNET FADS
(Volume 04, Issue 12)
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From Bubb Rubb to The Star Wars Kid – how the internet has made your life better
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RACEPLOITATION
(Volume 04, Issue 11)
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How Hollywood has made millions off Steve Martin’s inability to dance, and other racial stereotypes.
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LAUGH TRACKED
(Volume 04, Issue 09)
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The history of the television laugh track and why Hollywood thinks you need to be told when to giggle.
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Relax
(Volume 04, Issue 07)
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Electronic foot spas, massage chairs, the aquamassage – modern forms of relaxation or tools of torture?
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Why We’re Sarcastic
(Volume 04, Issue 06)
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Seanbaby explains the rise of sarcasm and its impact on Western civilization.
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The Complete Guide to Self-Defense Guides
(Volume 04, Issue 05)
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Seanbaby rates the books that teach the ancient ways of groin destruction. |
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The Revenge of the Return of Japanese Gadgets
(Volume 04, Issue 04)
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From contraptions that control your dreams to batteries powered by human blood, Japanese scientists have obviously teamed up with our sworn enemy, the robots. |
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The Very Sexy Guide to Sex Guides
(Volume 04, Issue 03)
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If tight pants can’t make you sexier, self-help books are sure to. Seanbaby reviews some of the world’s best books on the delicate topic of gettin’ it on.
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Shopping With Spam
(Volume 03, Issue 25)
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Who needs the mall for one-stop shopping when you’ve got a bulk email folder? Seanbaby will show you how to do all of your holiday shopping with spam.
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How To Be a Superhero
(Volume 03, Issue 24)
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With just a few quick and easy steps, Seanbaby will help bring out the unstoppable crime fighter in you.
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Gridiron Thespians
(Volume 03, Issue 22)
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Seanbaby recounts the priceless contributions made by former NFL stars to the world of cinema.
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Dork Storm: The Anihilation
(Volume 03, Issue 21)
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The 10 Geekiest Hobbies of All Time ...and the damage they inflict upon your sex life.
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The Robopocalypse
(Volume 03, Issue 20)
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Seanbaby details phase one of the robot race’s master plan to conquer the world.
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Career in Review
(Volume 03, Issue 18)
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Wave Magazine veteran scribe Seanbaby leads us in a walk down memory lane.
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The 10 Eightiest Movies
(Volume 03, Issue 17)
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By some bizarre twist of fate, no films starring Corey Haim or Corey Feldman made the list.
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Do It Yourself Genius
(Volume 03, Issue 16)
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Seanbaby takes the term “book smarts” to a whole new level.
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Digital Jesus
(Volume 03, Issue 15)
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Video games find God. Or vice versa.
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Get in Shape for the Summer
(Volume 03, Issue 14)
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Seanbaby examines celebrity exercise videos. This is the perfect article for those serious about getting in shape, or for those who want to see Angela Lansbury do pelvic thrusts in a tight, flesh-tone body suit.
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Famous Causes
(Volume 03, Issue 12)
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Little did you know that the world would be overrun by horny cats and drowned babies if it weren’t for the charitable crusades of our most beloved celebrities such as Bob Barker and Anna Kournikova.
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Sexy People Making Your Life Better
(Volume 03, Issue 11)
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Some of our sexiest celebrities have written self-help books. Vanna White, Kathy Ireland, Kim Alexis, Antonio Sabato Jr. (to name a few) all feverishly slaved over a typewriter for days on end just to make your life better. Little did they know that one day Seanbaby would be reviewing them in this magazine.
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The Amazing Celebrity Something-Turned-Singer
(Volume 03, Issue 09)
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What do Joey Lawrence, Shaquille O’Neil, Joe Pesci, Hulk Hogan and Eddie Murphy have in common? They all have side careers as musicians. And by “side careers” we mean “horrifyingly gruesome attempts to make music.” Seanbaby reviews some of the existing albums that haven’t been destroyed in the name of good taste.
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Marketing Madness
(Volume 03, Issue 07)
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Seanbaby rates the latest in extreme marketing schemes, from forehead billboards to breastfeeding for peace.
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The Jean-Claude Van Damme Cinematic Retrospective
(Volume 03, Issue 06)
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From No Retreat, No Surrender to Universal Soldier, Seanbaby pays homage to Jean-Claude Van Damme in the first and no doubt last Van Damme retrospective.
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Making Money with Super Heroes
(Volume 03, Issue 05)
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Seanbaby rates the get-rich-quick schemes offered in the back pages of our beloved comic book classics.
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Football and Flaming Destruction
(Volume 03, Issue 04)
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Esteemed author Seanbaby presents the results of his in-depth research and analysis as to why some Raiders fans were going to riot whether they won or lost the Super Bowl.
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A Very Romantic Guide to Romance Guides
(Volume 03, Issue 03)
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Listen up, ladies: If you want to win your man’s heart, don’t miss Seanbaby’s roundup of awe-inspiring romance advice such as tip #35 from The Simply Romantic Wife: “Think of something God is teaching you through your husband’s leadership. When he’s not busy, go to him and tell him what you’re learning.”
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Space Gadgets From Beyond the Orient
(Volume 03, Issue 01)
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In the first installment of what will surely be a series, we analyze those little Japanese gadgets designed to make our lives easier. This issue: The Bow-Lingual, a device that translates dog barks to English; Future Toilets, toilet seats capable of unspeakable acts of ass demolition; and Boong-Ga Boong-Ga, something we don't dare describe here.
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The Dumbest Crimes of 2002
(Volume 02, Issue 26)
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It took all year, but the winners of the most idiotic crimes have been announced (albeit by us). Seanbaby reports.
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This Is Your Brain on (Legal) Drugs
(Volume 02, Issue 21)
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We've successfully found a way to do drugs legally and get paid for it. Just picture a room full of herbal drugs, The Wave Magazine editors dressed in lab coats and Seanbaby as our guinea pig. The results were staggering.
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Airport Security
(Volume 02, Issue 20)
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With nothing in our hands and nothing up our sleeves, watch us magically uncover the country's most ludicrous post-September 11 moneymaking schemes. By Seanbaby
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Training for Iron Chef
(Volume 02, Issue 16)
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Seanbaby, writer, thinker and culinary misfit prepares himself-and you-for a thrill ride through his kitchen. Don't try this at home.
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When Robots Attack
(Volume 02, Issue 15)
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Consider a future where we no longer tell computers what to do, but instead are forced to grease the bearings of an all-powerful, human created, artificially intelligent machine. Now consider your options to prevent that from ever happening. By Seanbaby - “Putting artificially intelligent robots in their place since 1997.”
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Complete Idiot’s Guide for Dummies
(Volume 02, Issue 11)
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The Complete Idiot’s series is officially out of control. There’s a Complete Idiot’s Guide to Being Psychic for God’s sake. Seanbaby makes the case: Do we really want complete idiots unleashing psychic powers?
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| Want to see more back issues? Let us know: design@thewavemag.com |
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