The Great Escape
get * a * way
Noun.
1) The act or instance of escaping.
2) A place appropriate for a vacation.
3) A kick-ass destination specifically designed for overworked, stressed-out and weekend-activity-challenged people.
GETAWAY: Safari West
PRIMARY ACTIVITY: Camping amidst wild zebras, giraffes and cheetahs. Yes, cheetahs.
TYPICAL COST: $58/person for safari, $225/night for rooms
LOCATED: West of Windsor, East of Calistoga
THE SKINNY: If you’ve ever dreamed of going on an African safari, but dreaded the long travel, huge costs and chances you’d be eaten by a lion, then Safari West is for you. This 400-acre animal sanctuary, tucked away in the heart of wine country, is home to hundreds of wild mammals and birds. Take a 2-½ hour guided tour through the “jungle” before retiring to your canvas sleeping tent (complete with hardwood floors, ceiling fan and luxurious beds). On-site restaurants feature authentic African fare (as well as a few wine country favorites). Just remember not to pet the cheetahs.
NOT FOR: Big game hunters, taxidermists or anyone from the Kill the Animals Foundation
MORE INFO: www.safariwest.com | (707) 579-2551
GETAWAY: Aphrodisiac Dinners at Millennium
PRIMARY ACTIVITY: Sexy, but oh-so-healthy, eating
TYPICAL COST: $39 per person/$175 for two with hotel room
LOCATED:Near City Hall, San Francisco
THE SKINNY: Listen up, horny vegans: SF’s renowned all-veggie restaurant has developed a special five-course meal specifically designed to set your loins on fire. After capping your meal with a secret Chinese herbal love potion, we suggest you retire to a room at the nearby Savoy Hotel, available at a discounted rate for nympho meat-haters everywhere.
NOT FOR: Anyone who thinks a perfect evening is a steak, a beer and a viewing of Sportscenter.
MORE INFO:
www.millenniumrestaurant.com
| (415) 345-3900
GETAWAY: Sea Trek Kayaking
PRIMARY ACTIVITY: Rowing, splashing and capsizing off the coast of Sausalito
TYPICAL COST: $15-25/hour depending on kayak size
LOCATED: Downtown Sausalito
THE SKINNY: Become one with the ocean as you paddle under the Golden Gate Bridge, row around Angel Island, or navigate the Sausalito harbor during a nighttime adventure. If you’re worried that drifting across the Bay will work up an appetite, never fear: The on-site staff will pack you a gourmet lunch to take along.
NOT FOR: Anyone who has an irrational fear of drowning, people who have recently watched Jaws and members of the 3rd Avenue Canoe Crips.
MORE INFO:
www.seatrekkayak.com | (415) 488-1000
GETAWAY: Highway 1 Beach Hop
PRIMARY ACTIVITY: Sandcastle construction, sun burning, surfing
TYPICAL COST: Just the gas it takes to drive there
LOCATED: Hwy. 1 between Santa Cruz
and Pacifica
THE SKINNY: Driving up the coast of California is a great way to find some of Northern California’s best (read: emptiest) beaches. This 70-mile drive features such great spots as Gray Whale Cove (guess what you can see here), Moss Beach (big waves the surf-set prefers) and Ano Nuevo State Reserve (the preferred mating spot for elephant seals).
NOT FOR: Albinos, people who can’t swim and anyone who gets carsick on windy roads.
MORE INFO:
www.caohwy.com/h/hwy1.htm
GETAWAY: Jim Russell Racing Drivers School
PRIMARY ACTIVITY: High-speed lane changes
TYPICAL COST: $495 per half-day rental, up to $3300 for advanced three-day course
LOCATED: Infineon Raceway at the 37/121 junction in Sonoma
THE SKINNY: If you’ve ever watched the Indy 500 and thought, “I wonder what it’s like to corner one of those 700-horsepower monsters,” then this is your chance.
A team of professionals will put you through all the paces necessary to earn the pole position. And best of all: no cops to pull you over. Sweet!
NOT FOR: Backseat drivers, full-time pedestrians or people who respect the speed limit
MORE INFO:
www.russellracing.com | (800) 733-0345
GETAWAY: Burning Man 2003
PRIMARY ACTIVITY: Naked people-watching
TYPICAL COST: $225 per adult with admission prices rising each day of the event
LOCATED: Black Rock Desert, 120 miles north of Reno
THE SKINNY: For 17 years, people have been gathering in the desert to burn a giant wooden man in effigy. But it’s the weeklong build-up, wherein thousands of people create a temporary city. What you should bring: food, water and shelter. What you can get there: hard drugs, high-caliber firearms and anonymous sex. Boo-yah!
NOT FOR: Anyone who feels a compulsion to shower daily.
MORE INFO:
www.burningman.com
GETAWAY: Wilbur Hot Springs
PRIMARY ACTIVITY: Soaking
TYPICAL COST: $40 per day, more for camping space, single rooms or apartment suites
LOCATED: 22 miles east of Clearlake, off Hwy 16
THE SKINNY: There are natural hot springs all over Northern California, so what makes this place so great? How about the isolation of being 20 miles from the nearest town? Or the fact that you bring your own food, which you can then prepare in the provided gourmet kitchen? Still not sold? Two more words for you, then: clothing optional. Operators are standing by.
NOT FOR: People who giggle every time they see naked boobies.
MORE INFO:
www.wilburhotsprings.com | (530) 473-2706
GETAWAY: The Gun Place
PRIMARY ACTIVITY: High-velocity propulsion of ammunition towards designated target
TYPICAL COST: $10/hr for range, $5-15/hr for rental guns, $40 for four-hour pistol basics class
LOCATED: Just north of Hwy 237 in Milpitas or just west of Hwy 99 in Stockton
THE SKINNY: The whole point of a getaway is to remove all of the built-up tension from the day-to-day grind. At these firing ranges, you can cram a whole weekend of stress-relief into a single hour by firing off a few clips of ammo at a hanging photograph of your enemy. If you’ve never picked up a .22 (let alone one of the Desert Eagles or Uzis available for rent), the helpful staff will give you full training in the art of mechanized violence.
NOT FOR: Pacifists, violent criminals or anyone who thinks The Matrix is real.
MORE INFO:
www.thegunplace.com | (408) 263-7468 | (920) 955-5885
GETAWAY: Cavern Tours
PRIMARY ACTIVITY: Spelunking through gold mines, natural caverns and underground rivers
TYPICAL COST:
Walking tours start
under $10/person,
serious expeditions top
out at $130/person
LOCATED: Various Northern California caves, mines and natural holes
THE SKINNY: Some people want to spend their getaways lounging in a spa robe while the pool boy fetches another round of drinks. But for those who like to work up a sweat, get a little dirty and head out into the unknown, we offer up Cavern Tours. Want to rappel down a 100-foot cave wall, crawl in the mud through tight passages or tour an abandoned mine that’s described as “inherently unstable,” all while learning about geology, biology and human history? Sign up now.
NOT FOR: Anyone who is claustrophobic, afraid of heights, or strapped with explosives.
MORE INFO:
www.caverntours.com | (209) 736-2708
GETAWAY: Bishop Pack Outfitters
PRIMARY ACTIVITY: Riding mules through the wilderness in search of a camping site
TYPICAL COST: Adventures start at
$250 per person and
go up, depending on size of group and amount
of equipment
LOCATED: 30 miles northeast of Fresno
THE SKINNY: The ultimate camping adventure! You can choose between having a pack of mules drop you and your crew off in the woods with a designated pick-up spot or bringing along some guides (and a cook) on a weeklong horseride into the unknown. Linecasters beware: With over 200 fishing lakes in the area, you’ll be kicking yourself if you don’t remember to pack a reel.
NOT FOR: Anyone who hasn’t seen City Slickers.
MORE INFO: (760) 873-4785
GETAWAY: Institute for Ecstatic Living
PRIMARY ACTIVITY: Tantric sex retreats for couples
TYPICAL COST: Aside from an occasional free class, seminars range from $150-$2500 per couple
LOCATED: Harbin Hot Springs, just north of Middletown off Hwy 29
THE SKINNY: Proving once again that you can take a class on any subject, the Institute for Ecstatic Living has a huge summer schedule of weekend seminars on everything from achieving multiple orgasms to perfecting sensual massage. No need to pack a suitcase, as the dress code calls for bathing suits or birthday suits only.
NOT FOR: Singles looking for easy dates and people who think “The G-Spot” refers to downtown Gilroy.
MORE INFO:
www.ecstaticliving.com | (877) 982-6872
GETAWAY: Toney’s Mountain Golf
PRIMARY ACTIVITY: Frisbee Golf and Teepee Camping
TYPICAL COST: $30/night for teepee (sleeps 15) and $10 donation for disc-golf
LOCATED: About 20 miles east of Truckee
THE SKINNY: If the “sport” of disc-golf is your thing, then consider Toney’s to be your Augusta National. Their intense disc-golf course is built into a huge valley (one tee rests 250 feet above the fairway). After a
hard day on the links, take a swim in the 320,000-gallon pool, or rest up in your authentic teepee.
NOT FOR: Anyone who thinks real golf
is more challenging than throwing
around a Frisbee.
MORE INFO:
www.toneysmountaingolf.com | (530) 263-3924
GETAWAY: The Land of Medicine Buddha
PRIMARY ACTIVITY: Meditation, hiking and then some more meditation
TYPICAL COST: $55-$100 per night, depending on number in party and day of week
LOCATED: Off Hwy. 1 near Capitola
THE SKINNY: Heal and renew your inner chi at this most sacred of retreat centers. Guests are welcome to rent a B&B-style; room and hike the trails without participating in any of the meditation seminars, but what fun would that be? After you vibe out in the temple, relax in the swimming pool, get a massage or give the ol’ prayer wheel a spin. Namaste!
NOT FOR: People hoping their hotel room comes with an internet connection.
MORE INFO:
www.medicinebuddha.org | (831) 462-8383
GETAWAY: California Grand Casino
PRIMARY ACTIVITY: Gambling
TYPICAL COST: $0… if you win.
LOCATED: West of Concord off Hwy 680
THE SKINNY: This relic of the Old West has been hosting big-money poker games since 1854. Rather than drive up to Reno (or worse, hop a plane to Vegas), why not double your next paycheck at this classic local establishment. They’ll even serve you food at the table, so you won’t have to miss a single hand.
NOT FOR: Anyone who thinks gambling is a vice, getaways should be outdoors or a straight beats a flush.
MORE INFO:
www.calgrandcasino.com | (925) 685-8397
GETAWAY: Hollyhock Farms
PRIMARY ACTIVITY: Pretend you are a hard working farmer… for a weekend
TYPICAL COST:
$125 per night includes a gourmet breakfast
LOCATED: 15(ish) miles north of
San Luis Obispo
THE SKINNY: When you rent a room at Hollyhock, you are guaranteed a quiet and peaceful getaway. Why? Because there’s only one room available. After chowing down on your free breakfast, explore the farm’s 30 acres and give the employees (read: family members) a helping hand. No one will mind if you pick a few peaches, grapes, apples, melons or tomatoes for personal consumption. In fact, if you get hungry, you are also welcome to snatch a few fresh eggs from the henhouse. Want wine to go with that? No problem, there’s a chilled bottle on the patio waiting for you.
NOT FOR: Smokers. Sorry, but the tobacco mosaic virus could wipe out the farm’s entire tomato population.
MORE INFO:
www.hollyhock-farm.com | (805) 239-4713
GETAWAY: Lighthouse Hostels
PRIMARY ACTIVITY: Prevent ships from crashing into the coastline while you slumber
TYPICAL COST: Only $17 per night. You read that right: s-e-v-e-n-t-e-e-n.
LOCATED: Near the seaside towns of Half Moon Bay or Pescadero
THE SKINNY: If you thought hostels were just for European teenagers backpacking across the Golden State, think again. The Montara Lighthouse in HMB features a turn-of-the-century tudor for accommodations while the Pigeon Point Lighthouse down the road houses guests in the restored lighthouse keeper’s quarters. Whether you’re atop the tower at Pigeon Point (one of the country’s tallest) or Montara (a tiny, but functional beacon), you’ll be able to watch the gray whales migrate and the sun set on the Pacific. And did we mention that it only costs $17?
NOT FOR: Anyone looking for room service, mints on the pillow and pay-per-view movies.
MORE INFO:
www.norcalhostels.org | (650) 728-7177 | (650) 879-0633
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