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Popular culture scholar
weighs in on EON’s lack of
direction, ideas and initiative
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Gary Earl Ross 007 ideas for 007
“After the last film, we spent eight months trying to come up
with a story, but just couldn’t... There was nothing new left to
do. So we decided to start all over with the story we’ve
always wanted to tell how Bond became Bond in the first
place.”
Michael G. Wilson to Entertainment Weekly on why EON
dumped Pierce Brosnan and rebooted 007.
Pierce Brosnan himself lamented the inertia that set in among
007 producers after Die Another Day, and now Michael Wilson
has confirmed it. The problem, then, was lack of imagination
on the part of creative staff. Instead of firing the writers who
dreamed up invisible cars and preposterous science fiction
motifs and spent eight months coming up dry, producers
elected to fire the actor who spoke their lines.
Eight months?
As a writer, I have to wonder at the lack of ideas. At a Harlan
Ellison reading I once attended, a would-be writer announced
that he wanted to write but had no ideas. How did Ellison get
his? “Then you’re not a writer,” Ellison said. “Writers have
ideas.” Purvis and Wade, who penned the last three 007 films,
had a remarkably new idea for the start of Die Another Day by
having Bond spend time in a North Korean prison.
Unfortunately, they abandoned the idea fairly quickly and
reverted to formula before the film reached the first quarter
mark. Much of the rest of the film mined material from
previous Bond films for set pieces and twists masked as
homage. Wilson’s admission that they were out of ideas for
Bond should have come as no surprise to anyone.
But as Ellison said, writers have ideas, so I’m going to attempt
to generate seven 007 ideas in this piece. Each will be
character-driven. Each will be tough and gritty. Each will be
something EON could have done to refresh the franchise
without replacing a beloved lead with a craggy near-unknown,
without replacing baccarat with Texas Hold ‘Em, and without
featuring a control room with a ticking bomb or space-based
weapon.
001. Bond goes rogue and is hunted by the world’s best
government assassins. The pursuit is global and Bond must
go underground to survive. He resorts to disguises, blends in
with various populations, visits old lovers for temporary
sanctuary, and retreats into the wilderness when necessary.
While underground, he pursues his nemesis by tapping into
phone lines and computer systems until he uncovers a far-
reaching plot to overthrow the government of Great Britain.
Yes, Bond has gone rogue before, briefly, in On Her Majesty’s
Secret Service, License to Kill, and Die Another Day. The
catch this time would be that at the end of the film, Bond has
a secret meeting with M and she refuses to cancel the
sanction. At the end, in the arms of the “Bond girl,” 007 says,
“You’re not safe with me,” to which she replies, “You’re not
safe with me either.” Bond says, “Then let’s make the most of
the time I have,” and she unloads the gun she would have
used to kill him.
002. A major supporting character (M, Moneypenny, Q,
Tanner, Robinson, Leiter, Wade) is assassinated or murdered,
and Bond must investigate. If the victim is a fellow agent, he
must follow the agent’s footsteps to the killer, who is part of a
plot to a)destabilize world currency, b)place a world-class
double identity terrorist at the head of the UN or a major
western government, or c)use biological or chemical warfare
to wipe out the West’s ten major cities simultaneously. The
first half of the film would involve Bond’s pursuit of revenge.
The second half would focus on his stopping the plot. He
would take special pleasure in killing the killer but would
revert to his usual efficiency for others in the plot. We’ve seen
those glimmers of pleasure in a specific kill in Dr. No,
Diamonds Are Forever, For Your Eyes Only, License to Kill,
and Goldeneye. If M is the victim, Bond can meet the new M at
the end, which offers a nice segue to the next film. If
Moneypenny is the victim, he can meet M’s new secretary. In a
touching earlier scene, Bond can kiss Moneypenny’s casket.
At the end, he can drink a toast to her picture: “Moneypenny,
what will I ever do without you?”
003. Bond is on the trail of the world’s leading assassin,
someone who is the mirror image of himself, who anticipates
his moves and has countermeasures in place at every turn.
The twist is that each is assigned by his government to take
out the same Central American or Middle Eastern dictator.
There will be no cooperation, however, for the other assassin
wants to complete the mission and take out the legendary
007, forcing Bond into the same posture. If the other assassin
is a female, Bond will have bedded her but will have to kill her
at the end. He can be alone at the end of the film,
contemplating his life over a drink at his club in London. A
woman sits opposite him and he says, “009, what are you
doing here?” “The same as you,” she says. “Trying to find
comfort because I have a shite job.” He suggests they try to
find comfort together, but she balks because of the service’s
rules against agent involvement with each other. “If we’ve
been colleagues enough to work together and walk away the
next day . . .” he says. “They’ll never know.” They leave the
club. The waiter then phones M, who says, “Good” and
orders Robinson or Tanner to make sure they’re kept under
surveillance but left undisturbed. “After what they’ve been
through separately, a night together might be just what I need
to keep my top people in top form.”.
004. On special assignment to train U.S. operatives, Bond
uncovers a plot to awaken sleeper assassins in major U.S.
cities for a coordinated attack on key government officials.
Trying to work through the problem, Bond gets caught up
with the bureaucracy of Homeland Security and wonders
aloud how anything gets done. He strikes out on his own, first
taking down the hidden assassins who have been activated
and then finding the puppet master behind the plot. It is
apparent that at least some of the sleepers are involuntary, so
Bond must face the dilemma of whether to kill an innocent
person unaware he or she has been programmed to kill. If the
sleepers have some kind of implant that will explode if
removal is attempted or the remote control device is
destroyed, Bond’s choice will be harder. In fact, the explosion
is the method the puppet master will use to carry out his
assassinations. If the Bond girl is a sleeper, he must save her
or kill her but he turns to Q, who encases the control device in
a block of acrylic that is locked in a vault.
005. Bond goes to Africa. As an African-American I have long
been disturbed by the lack of attention the West pays to
Africa. If Shaft can go to Africa and The Constant Gardener
can uncover a murder plot there, so can Bond. His mission
will be to take down a genocidal dictator who has financial
ties to a Russian oligarch who wants to return his own brand
of communism to Russia. The plot permits the return of
several Bond characters from previous films and books:
Leiter, Wade, Draco, Anya Amasova. Roger Moore has said
the poverty he witnessed in India while filming Octopussy
helped inspire him to his active role in UNICEF. Exposure of
wretched conditions in a Bond movie may go well beyond
Tears of the Sun and can become a socially meaningful 007
flick if handled like The Constant Gardener and Hotel Rwanda.
006. While on assignment in South America, Bond gets
involved in a plot to overthrow a government supported by
drug cartels. Wounded by government agents, Bond goes into
hiding in a village and becomes the village protector. Leading
the villagers in an uprising against the drug lords who have
enslaved them, Bond assassinates the corrupt president and
M must scramble to keep his identity secret. Later, in London,
he is visited by the woman who nursed him back to health.
You may recognize Witness and The Magnificent Seven here
but all plots come from somewhere.
007. Casino Royale. Bond is ordered to undermine a terrorist
financial network run through a casino in Monaco. The catch
is that this assignment is similar to one he received soon after
he earned his 00, though this time he is not to gamble
government money. He is there masquerading as an
investment banker interested in infiltrating the finance
mechanisms. His chief problem is that he keeps having
flashbacks to his previous assignment, his torture at the
hands of LeChiffre, and his betrayal by Vesper Lynd. The
flashbacks impair his ability to complete his mission and he
must face up to his demons to succeed. In lens-filtered
flashbacks Bond is portrayed by a young actor who closely
resembles Pierce Brosnan and who can assume the role
when Brosnan retires. I must confess, however, that this idea
is not wholly original. Both Quentin Tarantino and Pierce
Brosnan suggested Casino Royale be the next 007 film, but I
doubt seriously you’ll see either one get a story credit.
There you have it, seven quick ideas, dashed off between last
night while my teens and their friends were on the other side
of the living room watching Crash and this morning before I
get on the ladder to repair my roof. Each is a rough idea that
could be developed. Each is character-driven. None has a
super villain with a scraggly cat, a media empire, or a DNA
transplant. None has a control room or a space-based
weapon involving diamonds, lasers, or EMP. None involves a
set-up for a very bad pun at the end (see The World Is Not
Enough and Moonraker).
Writers, you see, have ideas. If Purvis and Wade couldn’t
come up with something, Michael and Barbara should have
called me, or some of the thousands of other writers available.
We’d all leap at the chance to do 007. But they’ve chosen to
sink their ship.
Guess I’ll hold out hope for a call from whoever wants to
make The Man from UNCLE.
_________________
Gary Earl Ross is the author of The Wheel of Desire and
Shimmerville. His play Matter of Intent won the 2005 Edgar
Award from the Mystery Writers of America.
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