Because I hadn't sent them any donations, Mothers Against Drunk Driving sent me a check. Not a big check -- $2.50 -- but a real check that I could really cash if I wanted to.

Now, we get a lot of direct mail at the Zorn Compound and it often contains advance "premiums" as they call them in the fundraising business: Peel-and-stick address labels with our address on them are the most common (so much so that we'll never have to buy them again), but we also get decals (woo hoo!), calendars, maps, pens and even coins.

When a commercial mailing contains a "check" it's usually a voucher for a credit-card loan or  a discount coupon in disguise.  A real check for real money was a new one on me.

"It's a somewhat unique twist," said Kristy Hensel , chief development officer for MADD when I reached her by phone. "It's our hope that the person who sees that a real check is enclosed will be interested enough to open the envelope."

And generous enough not to take it to the bank. Says the cover letter:

Yes, the enclosed check for $2.50 is real. You can cash it if you choose, but I'm counting on you not to. To be honest, I needed to get your attention and I felt the check was a good way to do that. It may not seem like much -- $2.50 -- but you wouldn't simply overlook that sum, would you?

I wouldn't. Which is why I called MADD to learn more. Though if it had been for just $1, I might have tossed it out without a thought.

MADD has this figured out, Hensel said. The amount is calibrated to maximize the funds raised over and above the additional cost of those who disregard the plea in the cover letter, cash the check and ignore the fundraising appeal.

In the little more than year that MADD has been sending out such checks to "potential donors," far fewer that 1 percent have cashed the checks,

"But even if people cash the check, we consider that a success," she said. "They've opened the mailing and presumably have learned more about our organization and what we're doing to raise awareness about drunk driving."

The cost of fundraising for this particular kind of appeal is "comparatively small" compared with other approaches said Hensel, which is why the company has been using it for several years.

Several questions for the CoSties:

1. Do you ever feel a bit guilty using address labels that were sent to you by charities to whom you did not donate?
2. What other sorts of up-front premiums have you ever received that you consider remarkable?
3. Under what circumstances would you cash a check from a not-for-profit group sent to you by direct mail?
4. Do you like the nickname "CoSties" for comment-active readers of Change of Subject? If not can you think of  a better one?

1. Do you ever feel a bit guilty using address labels that were sent to you by charities to whom you did not donate?
1A. No, I figure that I give enough money to enough charities that I can take as many address labels from the karma pool as I need.

2. What other sorts of up-front premiums have you ever received that you consider remarkable?
2A. The most noteworthy premiums -- e.g., metallic "dream catchers" -- came from a Native American School. And my brother-in-law found the certificate -- suitable for framing -- commemorating my inclusion on the Southern Poverty Law Center's "Wall of Tolerance" worthy of many a snide remark.

3. Under what circumstances would you cash a check from a not-for-profit group sent to you by direct mail?
3A. If I received a check from a right-wing not-for-profit, I would endorse it and send it to a left-wing not-for-profit. Actions like this may be the reason that my brother-in-law considers me somewhat less than tolerant.

4. Do you like the nickname "CoSties" for comment-active readers of Change of Subject? If not can you think of a better one?

4A. "Cossacks"?
"The Neil Steinberg Fan Club"?
"Ya bums"?
I guess "CoSties" it is.

1. I'm still using return address labels that came from American Cancer Society from 2004... and no I don't feel the least bit guilty.

2. I've gotten product samples at work - pens with "your imprint here" kind of things on them, etc. - but I can't think of any memorable premium items from NFPs.

3. Depends on who it was from and what time of year it arrived. A lot of my unsolicited mail goes straight into the trash. The labels always come just before the winter holidays and I admit I kind of look out for those.

4. CoSites or CoSties is pretty good. The comment contributors for a humor columnist in another city call themselves "bloglits", I think it's more generic and therefore not so much fun.

and *snerk* at SCAM on #3!!!

1. Yes, I would feel guilty using labels that I hadn't "paid for" and in fact do not do it as a matter of principle.

2. No I wouldn't cash the check. I would feel guilty if I did. Just GETTING the check would make me feel guilty and I proabably would be more likely to send money to the an organization like MADD who I believe in anyways.

3. Ewww, sorry I don't like CoSites. It sounds like a disease. But I don't have anything better either!

1. No.
2. Window decals, pencils
3. Any circumstances. Money is money.
4. Ugh! Why is a nickname even necessary?

How about Zornatics?

1. No. They sent me the labels, knowing that I may or may not contribute. Besides, it seems a shame to waste them.

2. Occasionally I'll receive a survey request that contains a dollar bill, "for my time." If I'm not interested in the survey subject, I don't feel impelled to fill that out either. It also grates on me that they think that they can buy me so cheaply!

3. If it was from a left-wing group, I'd endorse it and send it to a right-wing group, to balance out Austin Mayor. ;^) Otherwise, I'd shred it.

4. "CoSties" sounds like something you'd call Orkin for. Why do the commenters on this blog need a label?

1. The labels are meant to be used; throwing them out is wasteful.

2. What's been memorable is that sometimes I get the nothing-special premium via Fedex.

3. I wouldn't cash the check from a group I support. And I'd likely not trust the check from any other group.

4. I initially thought CoSties was referencing Costco or Cost Plus shoppers. How about Changers?

Of course I use the labels. Do I feel guilty?
Hell no, I didn't ask them to send me this, especially the ones that are misspelled!

I used to get stuff from that same Indian school & from a woman with no arms who painted with her toes. Those were turned into greeting cards. Harold Russell, who lost his arms as a GI in WW2, used to send out ties, my father used to get them. Most of those higher value things disappeared after the FTC ruled that these items were unsolicited gifts & you didn't have to send money to those people

But my all-time favorite was the Readers Digest!
They used to send out actual checks for 10 cents.
I cashed at least a dollar's worth of those things. The bank tellers always got a laugh out of it.

Costies is terrible, how about Zorniacs?

1. No, I don't feel guilty. I make contributions where I choose, regardless of address labels, magnets, calendars, etc. I may have been given.

2. I can't think of any remarkable "pre-premiums." Clearly I need to improve the class of mailing list I'm on.

3. CoSties? Feh. Why come up with such an ugly neologism, complete with cutsie orthography? What the heck is wrong with "reader" as the term of choice? Everyone you're addressing in your question is, by necessity, a reader. Some will then choose to comment. Pretty simple. Besides, how would a new reader ever feel included in the invitation to comment if it's addressed only to (*shudder*) "CoSties?" Ick.

1. I do not feel guilty about using address labels for charities I have not contributed to. I have about ten different varieties from different non-profits.

3. I would cash the check--if I actually remember I have it after putting it aside--and I would not feel guilty about it.

4. CoSties.....awwwwwwg! Are they anything like cooties? Have you lost your senses?

I only keep the "attractive" address labels. Flowers, flags, etc., are used for the kids to decorate their scribbles. I have enough to last at least five years.

I like getting animal calendars because I rip the calendar apart and place the pictures into notebooks inside sheet protectors to teach my kids the animals. Between three kids I have used these notebooks for dozens of hours of entertainment for my kids.

I also like getting blankets from some of the animal/nature organizations I have contributed to. They are useful for in the car, etc. Notepads are useful for grocery lists.

Could not care less about getting another backpack or plastic jacket.

By the way, tired of a charity or group sending you mail? Stuff their return envelope with their literature and scrawl "take me off your mailing list" on your name and address sheet. If it's not a postage paid envelope, use their envelope without putting on any postage; they still have to pay the USPS. Trust me, they drop you fairly quickly. 95% of charities mailings have been eliminated to my home by doing that.

How about "Changers"?

1. I feel guilty about using them, but also feel guilty about throwing them away. So I throw them in my desk drawer and use them depending on my mood. (but, I pay almost all my bills online, so i rarely ever mail anything).

What I really hate is getting the religious stuff. The medallions, key chains and magnets with the Virgen Mary. (I have a magnet just like the turtle ladys magnet, with my "family" name on it. I wonder if turtle lady sent any money?). I can't throw that stuff in the garbage!

2. I would not cash the check, I dont trust any kind of check that is just sent to me from any organization or company. Except, of course, my own organization of friends and family.

3. I dont like CoSites, but I dont have an alternative either.

How about Chosubs? (CHange Of SUBject)

"Under what circumstances would you cash a check from a not-for-profit group sent to you by direct mail?"

If it was from the NRA, I'd cheerfully do it. In fact, I encourage them to mail me checks! Please, NRA, mail me checks.

"Do you like the nickname "CoSties" for comment-active readers of Change of Subject? If not can you think of a better one?"

For God's sake, "CoSties" is stupid! Why do commenters need a nickname? How are "readers" and/or "commenters?"

I have a very difficult-to-spell last name, which serves as a built-in obstacle course for charity solicitors. If someone sends me address stickers, a personalized pen, or whatever with my name misspelled, it's not a disqualification, but it is a strike. If you want my money, you can at least take the trouble to learn my name.

1. I would never use an address label for something I haven't contributed to. I assume when I see a letter with an address label on it from the Lung Association or something that it means that the sender has made a contribution. Hmm - guess not.
2. I received a pin from an animal-rights organization that I had been contributing to. I decided that they probably had enough money if they could do that and I never sent them another check.
3. Never.
4. Hey, by posting to this blog we are showing ourselves to be intelligent, informed and generally fabulous. We don't need no stinkin' nickname.

Is this $2.50 taxable income? I don't want to be a tax cheat after I use it to buy a beer.

4. costies, with or without the cute capitalization, reminds one of 'cooties.' yech, little boys, scabby knees, nose picking, etc.

zorniacs is ok if a name is needed. but is it, or have you been afflicted with a small case of the 'cutes' as a result of relief at the kids returning to school?

1. I will usually send $5 or $10 to an org with good labels that I know I will use.

2. A lot of direct-mail solicitations are thrown away before they are even opened, so I'll never know what delightful bookmark or sticker was inside for me. I got a little calendar once from the Arbor Day folks, that was nice. What

3. I would not cash the check. Instant donation!

4. Costies sounds like a beverage holder.

On a final note, I rarely contribute to "new" charities because I had a bad experience donating to public broadcasting - I sent in a pledge drive donation and about a month later got a letter from the organization implying I hadn't given enough and that I should give more than I had. That really bugged me, so I'm sticking with the charities and organizations that are happy for what I want to give them.

1. I don't use the labels. I don't throw them away, either, and I always feel guilty for not sending money. So I get the worst of all three worlds. (I blame my upbringing.)

I don't often donate to charities--my current situation doesn't really allow it--but even if I had enough money to quit my job and live a life of leisure, I think I'd choose to spend the TIME working for causes I believe in, rather than writing checks. (Or possibly I'm both stingy AND lazy. Not sure.)

2. I generally don't get anything but address labels. But when I was a very small child, I remember my parents getting a magnet from that same Native American school--not the cheapie vinyl magnets like they send now, but a 3-D, hard plastic magnet of a little Indian brave's face, complete with headdress. We called it "Indie Boy" and because it was the 70's, didn't think about the cultural insensitivity. It was one of those trivial objects that somehow became part of my memories of childhood; there are quite a few of those objects, and quite a few fond memories that go with them. :::files that away as a topic for a future blog post:::

3. I am always at least vaguely suspicious of those checks, regardless of where they come from. Maybe if it was a big check and said "no strings attached--really, seriously, we mean it..." but probably not even then.

4. "CoSties"? Count me as a "no". I don't think we need to give ourselves a nickname; whatever Steinberg and his devotees mutter about us under their breath will be plenty.

1) Many years ago I felt a little guilty, but they just kept coming and coming I had no choice but to use as many as I could. You know, for the environment's sake.

2) I haven't received anything remarkable, perhaps a dollar bill once. I find it a little sad that charities need to spend a lot of money trying different marketing schemes for donations.

3) As someone mentioned earlier, I would only cash a check from any group I disagreed with (a.k.a. spite).

4) Not sure I like the nickname - why is one required anyway? If you must have one and it needs to be as cutesy, how about COSTARZ? Change Of Subject Types who Argue and Reply with Zest. You can change Zest to Zorn, if you'd like.

ZORN REPLY -- I kinda like Costarz. Wasn't wild about CoSties, to tell you the truth.

1. I use them and feel no guilt whatsoever. Hey, there was no contract here. The only ones I won't use are ones that advertise some cause I find objectionable, or just look ugly.

2. I have received crisp new dollar bills from time to time, as an inducement to complete a fundraising pitch disguised as a survey. I keep and spend the dollar and never complete the survey. No, no guilt. What is it with you people and your guilt?

(The discovery of the first such dollar caused me to begin opening and inspecting the contents of every piece of junk mail I get, just in case.)

I also often get envelopes with real stamps on them, pre-addressed to the organization, with my return address printed in the corner. I guess these are to induce me to respond, and someone has a study showing they work better than the standard business reply envelope. I save these envelopes and re-address them with an adhesive address label over the organization's address. Once again, I feel no guilt about this.

3. I never have received such a check, to my knowledge, but I would certainly cash one if I got one. I would have to inspect it very closely to make sure it was not one of those credit card loan vouchers you mentioned, of which I HAVE gotten many.

4. I would prefer no nickname at all. But if you must have one, my vote is for CoSsacks.

Somehow I have gotten on a list that pegs me as a wealthy left-winger. Maybe because I subscribe to the New Yorker? I usually throw out any charity soliciation unopened. Therefore, I don't use any of the labels or other guilt-tripping junk.

Anyway - I like Austin Mayor's suggestion to cashing the check of an organization that I don't agree with & donating it to a cause that I do like.

I hate COSties. Really hate it. I don't know that we commenters need an official nickname, do we?

CoSties - boo!.

E-Zingers or Zingers. Zorniacs is okay. Zornistas, Zornies, the Zornettes.

Short, sweet and to the point - sometimes I give, sometimes not, depending on the cause, quality of merchandise, etc. Coins and bills go into the piggy bank, checks do not get cashed.

Greeting and Holiday cards enclosed in solicitations from various charities are pretty equal in quality to most store-bought kinds, so YES because it's worth the savings in shopping time, etc.

YES to Christmas Seals from the American Lung Assn. and YES to Easter Seals from the Easter Seal Society. NO NO NO to spring and summer promotions from ALA and holiday items from ES. Come on folks, let's not get greedy with the merchandising - concentrate on your "pet" holidays please!!!

This is a bit off topic but funny.
Years ago Spy Magazine decided to see who was the cheapest celeb. So they set up a checking account with some sort of phony name & proceeded to send out checks to various celebs in miniscule amounts. The accompanying letter stated that it was a refund or residual check.

The best one: Cher, she HAND ENDORSED, SIGNED HER NAME to a check for 13 cents, that's correct, 13 cents!

But Garry, the absolute best (worst) cheapskate of the bunch was none other than Spy's constant nemesis, Donald Trump!

Why oh why did Spy have to go out of business while its enemies in both the media and the world in general get to thrive? Truly there is no justice in this world!!!

Sorry anon, but I forgot what the Short Fingered Vulgarian [Trump's true & correct name according to Spy] did & I didn't look through my pile of Spy Mags to find the actual article.

And yes I do miss Spy! I always loved the Letters to The New Yorker. They ran letters because at that time The New Yorker didn't print reader letters. The best of those reprinted a few paragraphs of an article with every obscenity & its variations in it.
But another article had a line that read "we can't print what happened as it was too disgusting & Spy asked what was more disgusting than the article with all the swearing?
I wish someone with a few bucks to blow & some guts would bring it back!

If the blog is "Change Of SUbject," wouldn't it be "Cosus," "Cosutes" or "Chosubs" rather than "Cosites?" ("Chosubites" sounds biblical, which has some irony, no?)
I don't like any of 'em.

And wasn't it ironic that Spy, for whom a certain amount of irony was stock-in-trade, folded in early 1998, JUST AS MONICAGATE WAS GETTING UNDERWAY!!! If they could have hung on for just a couple more issues, they would have been back in the black forever!

Just call us all Sheep. You're the shepherd...

ZORN REPLY -- Bah! Or should I say, baaa.

~ Do you ever feel a bit guilty using address labels that were sent to you by charities to whom you did not donate?

Actually I donate to those who send me labels. Granted it's not much, but I do give. Everyone should set a budget.

~ What other sorts of up-front premiums have you ever received that you consider remarkable?

Haven't received any.

~ Under what circumstances would you cash a check from a not-for-profit group sent to you by direct mail?

If I got a check from MADD, I'd sign it over to RIDL. www.ridl.us

` Do you like the nickname "CoSties" for comment-active readers of Change of Subject? If not can you think of a better one?

I love the nickname CoSties.