Johnny From Burger King

 

January 13 , 2006—So, I'm like, looking at this baseball web site called RotoTimes, and they, like have these, like depth chart things that, like tell who is playing where for who. So, I go to the Red Sox one, and, like, there's, like, Adam Stern playing center field.....Dude, Adam Stern! And then, like, I go the shortstop position, and it's like, Alex Cora. Are they freakin' kidding me? Didn't we just win the World Series, like a little over a year ago?

So, what's going on? I don't get it. Are we like, The King and His Freakin' Court? With, like 4 guys on the whole field. I saw them once, by the way, at Trum Field in Somerville. For four fat guys they were pretty good. Anyway, so, like who's the Colonel Klink of this outfit? Is it Lucchino? Is it the two young guys who hang with Theo? I don't get it. Anyway, we suck.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Thank you for your attention.

I CAN HELP THE NEXT PERSON IN LINE!

Johnny from Burger King, is FenwayNation's newest anonymous correspondent. He will be a regular contributor, offering views on the Olde Towne Team from the perspective of Red Sox fans who get to a game when they can (not often).