Mom Pleads Innocent To Machine-Washing Tot
Laundromat washer started up with 2-year-old inside.
Pain In The Land Of Schnozz
Barry Manilow walks into a wall, smashes his oversized nose.
All's Well That Ends In The Well
Woman can't stand labor pains, so she leaps into a 50-foot-deep well. And successfully gives birth.
The Next Best Thing To Talking To God
Dial the Lord's phone number in "Bruce Almighty," and Rev. Bruce's Turner Chapel Church answers.
I'm Way Above The Law
Distraught man comandeers construction crane in L.A.
I Must Walk HOW Far To Fetch Water?!
Drought dries up marriage prospects in Indian village.
Cornhusker Goes Ballistic
Nebraska lawmaker wants to declare war on Iowa.
Spitball Fight Escalates Into Stabbing
School bus shenanigans turn bloody.
Another Teen Acts Like 'Jackass'
Boy imitating movie throws boiling water on sleeping best friend, according to police.
Slick Nickname Causes Friction
Those slippery Texas Dems call themselves "WD-40's" -- and lube maker doesn't like it.
Please Don't Squeeze The Shamu
Woman fined for petting a killer whale.
Soldiers Of Fortune
Colombian soldiers find $9 million rebel cache. Party time! Hookers! New fridges!
Pasture-Highs Milk
Talk about happy cows. Pot plants grow from the "hay" farmer had been feeding his bovines.
Town Fit To Be Tied Over S&M; Club
Lakewood, Colo., is apparently not ready for ball gags.
Flying Reindeer?
Doe walks through airport security at Omaha airfield. Santa is nowhere to be found.
Man Pulls Eyes Out Of Sockets
Grisly protest over jail sentence.
Goldfish Smoothie Acquittal
Judge find Danish museum director not guilty after blender fish were pureed in art exhibit.
'Speed' Prank Scares Trucker
Motorist led him to believe his rig was wired to explode if it dropped below a certain speed limit.
Woman Busted For Too Much Perfume
Chemically sensitive husband claims spiteful wifey really "nose" how to hurt a guy.
No Humping On Campus, Please
Cops break up prank to couple two camel mascot sculptures -- one fitted with an extra-large male prosthesis.
Holy Flip-Flop
Danish supermarket pulls Jesus and Mary sandals off the shelves after clergy puts their foot down.
Kangaroo Hit-Run In Austria
That's right, mate, Austria, not Australia.
Head Of Lettuce
Applebee's salad tests negative for salmonella -- but positive for lizard.
But They Still Need A Vulcan Mind Melder
Oregon county decides it won't be hiring a Klingon interpreter for its mental health patients after all.
England Reportedly Steals 20,000 Brains
Govt. doctor says gray matter was snatched without consent over 30-year period.
Really Dirty Dancing
Official-looking school letter to parents promises condoms, lube, hotel rooms for Pa. senior prom.
How God Nearly Bankrupted Me
Sex shop owner says the Lord told him to trade vibrators for Christian books.
Jerry-Flavored Coke
Coca-Cola pulls swastika robot figurine from Hong Kong promotion after Jewish leader objects.
Pants Ready For Takeoff
Southwest fires pilot, co-pilot after they strip naked or nearly naked in the cockpit.
License, Registration And Clothing, Ma'am
Cop ordered women to strip after pulling them over for traffic violations.
Auto-Eroticism Disturbs Tennessee
State Senate bans XXX video viewing in cars.
Bullwinkle Imitates Rocky
Norwegian couple are enjoying a Sunday drive, when a 770-lb. moose suddenly lands on their windshield.
America The Booty-Full
London's famed West End Theater can't fit ample American rear ends in its Victorian seats.
Red Wine With Salmon Is A Crime
Gauche wine choice leads to bizarre SF bank robbery arrest.
Hearing 'New Jersey' Makes Texan Go Crazy
Weather Buff Killed By Weather
Man Eats Herd Of Cows
298 Missed Tackles Explained
Penis Punch Turns Out Not To Be Cocktail
3-Inch Nail Gunned Into Carpenter's Head
Milk With That? Cow Crashes Into Coffee Shop
Tackle-Me Emu
Man Killed By Perch
Phony Phallus Doesn't Fool Urinalysis
'God's Son' Drives An 18-Wheeler
Man Kills Dad For Giving Him Sissy Name
Hey, Stop Downloading My Wife
