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Rips roaring
Have a comment or question for Dr. Z? Click here. Big rip day. Bad scene for poor old Z, who just got off three hours (no kidding) with the various geniuses at Capital One MasterCard and their roster of holds and prompts and other tortures. As usual, all you rippers will get your full avenues of expression, but first I'm gonna go to a couple of questions that involve things I enjoy, such as word usage. Rob Johnson of Keller, Texas (Rob, do you know a coin dealer from Keller named Lee Johnson by any chance? Trade name is The Old Coinman) wonders if "subpar" is correct, when it's certainly nice on the golf course. I looked up "par" in my gigantic 1943 unabridged Webster's, unabridged meaning that it's 3,210 pages long, and there was a huge section devoted to par. First meaning was financial, i.e., par value for the dollar. Next one referred to equality. So, using these definitions, subpar ain't good. Nate of Halifax, Nova Scotia, feels that "deflected" or "tipped" would be more accurate than "partially blocked," referring to what happens to a punt. You either block it or you don't. I agree, but I can't say that it really bothers me as much as "before the snap." Here comes the most sensible rip, from Howell of St. Louis, whom, I'm told by Jimmy (who likes to count up the rips) represents a band of 15 or so. I accused John Madden of saying, "If you can read a player's number, don't block him." Howell and his group point out that Madden really said, "Name," not number. I apologize. To John Madden and Howell and the rest of the camp followers. I'm wrong. We don't have capital punishment here in Jersey, but certain forms of torture are permitted, and I've already received my share from Capital One.
Big personal rip from Michael of Tustin, Calif., and I will quote: "The only thing your a Dr. of is stupidity." "Yes, you are a idiot." "They [Rams] dismantled them [Dolphins] and probably destroyed there emotional well being for the rest of the year." Next, the usual "your embarrassing yourself, your a coward, spineless, how do you keep your job?," etc. Finally, "Oh, I forgot, your the Howard Stearn of the NFL and SI." Deer Micheal: It's you're , not your. It's an idiot, not a idiot. It's their , not there. It's Howard S-t-e-r-n. And awl thiss heate jusst causz I pickt the Dolfings too upp-set the Wramms. More Wramms, uh, Rams heat. Fred of Rochester, N.Y., says he has a tape showing the kind of extreme Rams precision befitting a Super Bowl contender, so there! Let me make my position clear. The Rams were my preseason Super Bowl choice and my top-rated team for all but one week. I picked the Dolphins to upset them. I was wrong. They blew the Dolphins out. Now everyone's lining up. Two weeks ago I went 12-1, three of my winners being upsets. How many people did I hear from? One, and he wasn't even from the U.S. He was from Vancouver. This is the last time you will hear me whining about the unfairness of life. You don't like my picks? That's tough. Jim of Chicago feels that the schedule makes a 7-1 start for the Chargers likely. He wants my take on it. They win in Cleveland but it won't be easy. That's 4-0. A victory in New England, but again, it could go the other way, makes them 5-0. The Broncos beat them on the Coast, but they take their next two at home against Buffalo and K.C. That puts them at, let's see now, 7-1. An astute but painful question from Haroldo from Sao Paulo, Brazil. Are we all copping out on the Lions because Matt Millen is everyone's personal friend, including mine? Possibly. I've known him since his sophomore year at Penn State. I want to see him do well. He's not and neither is his coach, whose name I won't spell because the chances of getting it right are only 50-50. I don't think the release of James Jones turned the team against management. Millen has been open in his dealings with the players. I didn't see Batch play in the opener, so I don't know how bad he was. But Marty Mornhinweg was a QB coach for two different teams in the NFL, so I think he knows the position. Finally, Haraldo offers a bet. Identify the wine. If I get it right, he'll buy me a beer. If not, I have to send him some of my books. OK, I'll take it, since I'm getting about 3-1 odds here. The wine is Piazzato Merlot. Never heard of it, but since this guy is from Brazil, I'll bet it's a South American wine. Not from Brazil. Their wines all have French names beginning with Chateau or Domaine or something like that. Chilean wine is popular in Brazil. So is Argentinian. I've got an even money shot. Chile is the answer. How'd I do? A taunting question from Chuck of Sterling, Va. What draws the flag and what doesn't? The league's position is that celebrating is OK if it projects a wholesome image, such as the Lambeau Leap. Self-congratulation, such as a guy thumping his chest after a good play, is borderline but permissible. Stuff aimed directly at an opponent is taunting, and the offender's parents must come to school the next day. From Joe of Indianapolis: Is Peyton Manning currently the best at selling play action? Yes. Who were some of the all-timers at it? Recently, Boomer Esiason comes to mind. In the old days, when they used to call it, "faking," my guys were Eddie LeBaron and Frankie Albert. A serious diatribe against Marty Schottenheimer from Paul of Minneapolis, the thesis being, how'd he ever land an NFL job? The answer is winning track record, which impressed the owner. Many people brought in irrelevancies such as his work ethic and his personality, which, of course, mean little when your team has been stripped of talent and you're stuck with a QB who is the owner's pet, not yours. The same misconception was attached to Mike Ditka in New Orleans, i.e., locker room orations = victories. I didn't think Ditka worked hard enough at the job. I think Marty has loaded the staff with relatives to make sure everyone gets a pay check. I don't want to take this any further because Marty, unlike some others, did at one time enjoy success. I think you get the point. To Rob, the "subpar" questioner from Keller, I will vote for both Steve Young and Troy Aikman on the first Hall of Fame ballot. I don't judge a quarterback exclusively by how many Super Bowls he won. I look at the way he played. Archie Manning, playing on hopeless teams, never came close to winning anything, yet he's a Hall of Famer in my book. To Mika of Helsinki, where my wife and I once ate in a restaurant where every dish, including dessert, was made with garlic (I still have nightmares about it) -- first, thanks for the nice comments about my work. He asks, "To what extent can the wines of Minnesota ... " Huh? Wait, I'm going blind ... "can the woes of Minnesota be traced to the offensive line, which obviously was in turmoil after the unfortunate events of the past summer?" He wants a complete breakdown, which I can't supply, because I've only seen the Tampa Bay game. But Daunte Culpepper was a downfield thrower last year, with a yards-per-completion average of 13.3, one of the highest in the league. His line was giving him time. It was solid, and I thought this would be an area of trouble, since it had lost McDaniel and Christy. This season Culpepper's averages in the three games were 10.7, 9.7, and 10.7 in the win over the Bucs. They're shortening the routes, which tells me that he can't hold the ball as long, which probably reflects on the O-line. But that short passing game simply ate up the Bucs' double zone, especially since they were missing so many tackles. The Redhead noted your cheerful hello, incidentally. Matthew of Reston, Va., can't understand why I labeled Marco Coleman the Redskins' best defensive player. Because he doesn't take a play off. Champ Bailey has the most talent but I've seen him miss too many tackles. I've even seen him give up on a play or two. Freddie Smoot? Our kitten, Little Jake, tackles better than he does. Earl of Denver doesn't think Bill Romanowski should be starting. I disagree. Sure, he'll get beaten when he has to run with a guy, but he's smart and he knows the cutoff angles and he can plug the run. Ian Gold is an explosive, pass-rush type and I think they're using him right. He'll have Romo's job in a year or two, but not yet. James of Pullman, Wash., knows the agony of endless question submission with nary a peep from our one-man screening committee. But now, at the point of lunatic frustration, guess what? Jimmy has shown mercy. And, James, you are not going to like the answer to your very legitimate question concerning aspects of the Saints, their game against the Giants and their QB, Aaron Brooks. The answer is that this was Game No. 5 on my weekend roster of eight to watch. I'll lay them out for you. No. 1 was Dolphins-Rams. No. 2, Ravens-Broncos. No. 3, Bucs-Vikings. No. 4, Bengals-Chargers. No.5 , Saints-Giants. No. 6, Browns-Jaguars. No. 7, Cowboys-Eagles and No. 8, Niners-Jets on Monday night. I can handle four on a Sunday before it's time to write my handicapping one-pager for the magazine. Because of what happened, Browns-Jags got moved up to No. 4, pushing the others back. I have to bring my book up to date on Monday, and I usually start hitting the tape before Monday Night Football, but this time I went to the game, which meant I left the house early and Monday's tape-watching was ixnayed. On Tuesday I watched Bengals-Chargers and wrote my <a href=/football/news/2001/10/02/power_rankings/\>rankings column</a\>. I was on the phone Wednesday, getting stuff for <a href=/inside_game/dr_z/news/2001/10/04/drz_insider/\>my column</a\>, which I wrote later in the day. No time for the tape. I hate to admit that on Thursday morning I had a rather weird, time-consuming hassle with the credit card company that left me drained. Just as I was heading for the tape machine, the letters started coming in for the mailbag column. Promised the Redhead I'd take her to dinner, which I did. Started writing when I returned, and now I'm wrapping it up. Friday I'll watch Saints-Giants and next week, I solemnly swear, your query about the Saints will be the first one I'll address, and I'll even throw in Vikings-Saints as a bonus. Is this OK? Matt of San Francisco is already wringing his hands about the Broncos
after one loss. "When did Qadry Ismail become a star?" he
asks. Ismail caught two passes, one of them a TD on a fade, in which Denard
Walker had the coverage. Ismail just took the ball away from him. It
happens. The Broncos' defense looked OK to me; it was the offense that died,
but they were facing a mighty good D. Matt wants to know how they can beat
Baltimore. By finding a possession receiver somewhere. They ain't gonna do it
with Eddie Kennison. Finally, have I ever sipped beers at the Woody
Creek Tavern? No, but it sounds like the kind of place that if I brought the
Redhead, I'd be fighting off a bunch of guys in lumberjack shirts, armed with
axe
handles.
Have a comment or question for Dr. Z? Click here.
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