Thanks for all the support, nVidia!  I swear I'll stop picking on Jim Black from now on!  Okay, maybe not.
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Hey, I hate eFront!
ICQ / Email Pranks

ICQ is an invaluable tool for communication these days, even moreso if you use the Internet. However it's just too damn easy for any half-wit to grab your UIN and begin sending messages concerning every random thought that crosses their faulty brains. I've gotten sick of continually being on the defensive and adding these fools to my ignore list, so I'm fighting back now.

ALL OF THESE EMAILS / ICQs / PRANKS ARE TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY REAL. They have undergone minor editing for layout and formatting, but no actual content has been altered in any way (unlike the rest of SA, which is mostly bullshit).

ICQ PRANKS

Title: The Victim :
Description:
Amamrican Robot Lesbians Sweet Princess
Team Barry stole everything... but my robot and my bottle.
Doctor Ron! Ronny
Protect your hair from getting infected, before it's too late!
Insurance Risk Roy
Life insurance never sounded so good... to me at least.
Virtual Stupidity [FFE][Mad-Keg]
The secret lies in moving furniture for virtual reality.
Read the Menu! Readthemenu
Beware the Frenchies and the scum moguls...
Jesus vs. the Homosexuals Anointed
The homosexuals, sir! They're ATTACKING!
The Bat Farm Chiefs Fan
Fantasy Football + crapping bats = this.
Laser Spammers phoenix
Beware the Argon-Ion laser!
The Lost Archive Prank Rob
For some reason I never posted this prank. I can't remember why.
The Five Days Prank Jimbo
My wife gave me the bird. I didn't want it.
The Smart Box Colleen
Let's pray I never figure out how to have children.
The Kanasta of Doom Pepper
Ya gotta have cups... (user submitted prank)
Deep Phat Fryahs! Hardcore
Awwww shit, bizzatch, Iz a rappah!
Ravin' With Gas! Raver
My new website will revolutionize the industry
Jesus Likes Japan SwEeT DeAtH
ROMs and religion.
The Yeti Connection Silver Wolf
THEY'RE OUT TO GET US! Art Bell was right all along!
Big Monsters of Rodeo! stevie
Yee haw, I'm gonna lasso me up a DUMBASS!
Fruits and Nuts Brandon
Mmm, spam!
The Big Hack Attack Pike
Lowtax = l33t haX0r
The c0n c0n Man c0n c0n
The death of a chain message
Jesus vs. Nine Inch Nails NIN_Girl
Jesus 34, NIN 2!
The Violent Homophobe Mongoose
Somebody stupider than Jeff K.? Yup.
Space Robot Bonanza Corn_Boy
I can't believe that I didn't make this up.
The UFO People Pete
This is what happens with a generation of kids growing up on "Doom" and "The X-Files".
The 0Cool Saga, Part II 0Cool
0Cool works his magic again.
AOL and Burning to Death Jaedr
My first new ICQ buddy!
Hello, Welcome to ICQ Inferno
Am I an ICQ bot?
Incredible New E-Commerce Business! Nate Somebody tries to spam me; I spam back.

Email Spam: If you're like me, and I know I am, you receive a lot of spam email every day. Some of these messages are so stupid and idiotic, I can't help but respond to the people that originally sent them in. Here's a collection of some of my best email pranks / replies so far. All these email correspondences are true and have really happened.

EMAIL PRANKS

Title: The Victim :
Description:
The Truth About Drugs Kids Against Drugs
If it ain't the drugs, it's the alligators.
Spam TV Star TV
A chance for me to be on TV?!?
Edjucatun First Jay Huang
Educational software is so important!
The Problem With Print Benchmark Print Supply
Give a redneck a computer...
My Honest Opinion? Thomas D. Barnette
Well, ask a guy for his ideas...
What's a Leasing? C.S. Leasing Inc.
My quest for helpful car information.
Please t#0 bne furnitaaure?! Stephen J. Tahoe
dthi*s sonds likke a gud idea%
Fun With Pepper Spray Protection Inc.
It's not just for protection any more.
I'm So Goddamn Skinny! Metabolife
A secret weight loss technique unveiled.
Cinema Paridiso Gary's Vintage Posters
I guess I have an odd taste in movies.
Want a Hit? MyLink
I display my Internet savvy.
Descrambled "Cable"
These cable "devices" have odd results.
Cut Me Some Slack! SLACK
What a band!
What's Cookin'? www.dvo.com
You don't want to know what's "cook'n"
Helping the Public John's Doorway
I just want to help out the British public.

MISCELLANEOUS EVIL

Title: Author:
Description:
The April Fool's Day Hack Lowtax
SA readers take the bait